Thirty-five

The next Sunday morning, Lily enjoyed lazing in bed with Dax, dozing, making love, talking.

How luxurious to not be heading off to the clinic to do admin work. She, a couple of the other doctors, and Jennifer, the receptionist, had interviewed a candidate for office manager, and been blown away. The woman would come to work for them in two weeks. Jennifer had already taken on more administrative duties, bringing records up-to-date and creating reports using computer skills Lily’d never realized she possessed.

It had been a good week for Lily and Dax too, and she’d decided that rather than agonize over what she’d do if he decided he didn’t want kids, she’d try to remain positive and hopeful.

The combination of sunshine outside the window and her growling stomach made her say, “Let’s have breakfast and decide how to spend the day.”

Lily donned her robe and Dax pulled on boxer briefs, then they went to the kitchen and put together a meal of fruit, yogurt, and toasted bagels with jam. She was ready to linger over a second cup of coffee and discuss plans, but Dax rose. “I’m going to take a quick shower then I have a couple of things to do. You relax; I’ll be back soon.” He dropped a kiss on the top of her head and strode from the kitchen.

She frowned after him. What things did he need to do, and why didn’t he suggest she come along? In the past, this would have been normal behavior for both of them, but now she felt shut out. “Old habits,” she muttered as she poured that second cup of coffee. “Hard to break.” When he returned, he’d tell her what he’d been doing. If not, she’d ask. They’d agreed they wanted an open, communicative relationship.

Armed with coffee and her Kindle, she curled up in a chair by the living room window. Her current book—not a book club choice—had been a Giller Prize finalist. It was better written than Bound by Desire, but she had trouble concentrating. A few minutes later, Dax called, “I’m off. See you in a bit.”

There was something—excitement? urgency?—in his voice. Or was that her imagination?

“Bye,” she called, and then tried to refocus on her book. It was no use. She couldn’t get into it.

She dealt with the breakfast clutter then had her own shower and dressed. Guessing they’d probably go for a walk on such a beautiful day, she chose jeans and one of the new lightweight sweaters she’d picked up this week at a store George had recommended. The crew-neck garment was the soft purple of lilacs and made her light blue eyes look even bluer.

Restless, she decided to look at the financial information her trust fund manager had sent her this week. In the small home office, her desk had the usual neat stacks of papers and magazines, while Dax’s held only his open netbook.

As she walked past his desk, her hip brushed his desk chair, sending it spinning to catch the edge of his computer. Quickly she grabbed the netbook to steady it, in the process dislodging a large white envelope that had rested beneath it. She bent to retrieve the envelope and noted that it had a RE/MAX logo. A real estate company?

Was this what he’d done yesterday, while she worked at the Downtown Eastside medical clinic? When she’d discussed her volunteer work with Dax, saying that she’d made a commitment and wasn’t comfortable bailing on it two weeks in a row, he’d been understanding. He’d said he’d keep himself occupied. Last night, when she asked how he’d spent the day, he said, “This and that. Nothing special.” Had he started to hunt for properties that might interest them for a weekend cottage, or possibly a new home within commuting distance? Why hadn’t he mentioned it, and shown her what he found? Probably he intended to tell her today.

She sat at her own desk and opened the trust-fund package. But now curiosity had set in. When would Dax be back? Surely he wouldn’t mind her taking a look. They were in this together, after all.

She wandered over to his desk and fingered the envelope. It was unsealed. She eased the contents out an inch, to see a RE/MAX folder. A note was clipped to the top, handwritten on a female Realtor’s stationery.

Get this back to me ASAP so I can make the offer. Think about how high you’re willing to go if they counteroffer. But, as I said, they’re in a hurry to sell and they might accept at this price.

Make an offer? What on earth? She pulled the folder out, flipped it open, and stared at a contract of purchase and sale. The purchaser names were Dwayne Arthur Xavier and Lily Elizabeth Nyland, and the price tag was hefty, higher than the value of the condo.

“Oh!” Her heart raced as she stared at the document in stunned disbelief. Dax had viewed properties, decided on one, and instructed a Realtor to draw up an offer? At a price that meant selling the condo, which meant this was no weekend cottage, but a new home. He’d done all this without even mentioning it to Lily? What was he thinking? An open, communicative relationship? “Hah!”

Steamed, she turned to the attached listing sheet and gazed at the photo. The reason for the price tag clearly wasn’t the house. The photo showed a rustic cottage, fitting nicely into its natural surroundings. Rather charming, but quite run-down. The description told her it stood on a two-acre property on Bowen Island, not on the waterfront—which would have been prohibitively expensive—but on a hill with an ocean view.

Bowen was a location they’d discussed. It had a lovely natural setting plus the essential services, and was easily accessible from Vancouver by either water taxi or highway and ferry.

The house in the photo, with some repairs and paint, would be nice. But they were nowhere near being ready to make an offer. Not with the one huge unresolved issue hanging over them. “What on earth is he thinking?”

She scanned the details on the listing sheet. A thousand square feet? That was barely larger than the condo. One bedroom—“What?” This was a house for a couple, not a family.

Her knees gave out and she sank into his desk chair. No, this wasn’t possible. Dax had promised that he’d seriously consider having children and he’d tell her when he decided.

Well, this damned offer was pretty clear evidence of his decision. Did he think she’d just go along? That she’d choose him over her long held, deeply rooted dream of having kids?

Would she?

She rested her head in her hands. She’d been sure they were heading in the right direction together. Discussing things, sharing, trusting each other. And now, just like her parents, he didn’t give a damn about what she needed and wanted. He was trying to steamroll her into going along with what he wanted. With his vision of their future. A childless future.

No, she wasn’t building any future with a man who shut her out this way.

Tears slid down her face and that horrible hollow ache was back in her heart. It was over. This time, their marriage really was over. And it hurt even more because she’d let herself hope.

In a daze, she shoved the folder back into the envelope and returned the envelope to its position underneath his netbook. She walked to the bathroom where she splashed cold water on her face. Her reflection stared back at her, eyes glittery with tears. She swallowed, trying to force the tears back. Dax wasn’t worth crying over.

But . . . was that really true?

She pressed her hands against the counter of the vanity, the marble cold and slick under her palms. And she remembered . . . The summer when she’d fallen in love with him, and the dreams they’d shared then. The way he’d opened up to her recently, revealing painful things he’d never spoken of before. The many discussions they’d had over the past couple of weeks; the romantic gestures; the steps forward and back. After all that, would he really try to impose his vision of the future on her?

Her breath caught as a new idea struck her. Did he think she was trying to impose her vision on him? He’d asked her what she’d do if she had to choose between him and having children, and she’d told him she didn’t know. It was the truth, a truth that had the potential of ripping her heart in half. But had he heard it as a threat?

Even if he had, what did this offer to buy a one-bedroom cottage mean?

He would tell her. She couldn’t give up on him.

Steadier now, she washed her face again and applied a touch of eye makeup to conceal any signs of tears. She heard the front door open and went to greet Dax.

His cheeks were flushed, his eyes bright. “Okay, almost ready. I’m taking you for a ride.”

“Oh? Where?”

“A surprise destination. I’ll be back in a minute.” He headed down the hall.

Let me guess, Bowen Island? She held back the words, collected her purse, and pulled on boots and her sheepskin jacket.

He returned and caught her hand. “Ready?”

“All set.”

They rode the elevator down to the basement and climbed into the Lexus.

“You know I don’t do that well with surprises,” she warned.

“Yeah, but you’re trying to be more flexible and spontaneous, right?”

She pressed her lips together. If she hadn’t found the real-estate contract, how would she feel now? Pleasantly anticipatory that Dax was taking her on an adventure. “Right.”

Dax drove out into the sunshine and they both put on sunglasses. Stuart McLean’s Vinyl Café was just starting on CBC Radio. Telling herself to be patient, Lily tried to focus on one of McLean’s stories about husband and wife Dave and Morley.

As McLean spun the story in his measured style, Dax drove down Broadway to Cambie, over the Cambie Street Bridge, through downtown, and over the Lions Gate Bridge. Yes, they were heading toward the Horseshoe Bay ferry terminal. Periodically, Dax laughed at something McLean said. The fingers of his left hand tapped the steering wheel as if he was full of nervous energy.

When he took the road to the terminal, rather than the Sea to Sky Highway that led to Lions Bay, Squamish, and Whistler, she said, “One of three options: Nanaimo, the Sunshine Coast, or Bowen Island. You know I’ll find out when you pay the fare.”

“Yeah. I thought of blindfolding you all the way, but that’d be hard to explain to the cashier.” He pulled up to one of the booths and told the woman, “Bowen Island, please.”

She took his credit card and directed him to a lane in the terminal.

Thinking of how she would normally act, Lily said, “We talked about looking for a place on Bowen. If we’re going to scout out locations and places for sale, why’s that such a big secret?”

“Relax and all will be revealed.”

Relax. Hah.

The ferry was starting to load. Dax drove on and parked. “It’s a twenty-minute trip. Want to stay in the car or go on deck?”

Despite the sunshine, it would be windy and cold on deck. “I’ll stay and listen to Vinyl Café. You go on; I’m sure you’d like to get outside.” And she could use the time apart. It was stressful, sitting next to her husband and worrying about the meaning of that real-estate offer.

“Sounds good.” He swung out of the car, leaving the radio on for her.

Stuart McLean’s style of presentation wasn’t exactly dynamic, yet it was compelling. The appeal of the Dave and Morley stories was how relatable they were. The couple was a normal husband and wife with two children, going through a normal life with ups and downs, humor and sorrow. A shared life. The kind of life Lily and Dax had never had. And, quite possibly, never would. She blinked back tears.

It wasn’t long until Dax was back and the ferry docked. When he drove off, he pulled over to the side of the road, letting the other ferry traffic pass by. Reaching into his jacket pocket, he pulled out the silk scarf she’d bought in Whistler. “Take off your sunglasses and blindfold yourself.”

She didn’t take the scarf. “You’re not serious?”

“Call me Falcon and obey.” His tone was mostly joking but held an undertone of seriousness.

No, this wasn’t the time for sex games, and she wasn’t in the mood for an unpleasant “surprise.” Yet if she hadn’t found the damn contract, she’d likely think this was fun. “Fine.” She took the scarf and wound it around her head.

“You can’t see anything?”

“I can’t.”

He pulled onto the road again.

It was disconcerting being blind in a moving vehicle, and she gripped the armrest on the door to steady herself. Even though Bowen was so close to Vancouver, this was the first time she’d been here and she had no way of getting her bearings. There wasn’t much traffic, only the occasional sound of an oncoming car passing. The road got bumpier, and she sensed they were going uphill. Dax pulled the car to a stop and turned off the ignition, abruptly silencing Stuart McLean. Lily realized that, since the program was still on, it must be less than an hour since they’d left home.

He touched her arm. “Stay here and keep the blindfold on. I’ll be back for you in five minutes.”

“Fine.” No, it wasn’t fine at all. She could have asked him to put the key back in the ignition so she could hear the end of the story. But at this point, she didn’t give a damn how Dave and Morley’s story ended. Hers and Dax’s was the only one she cared about.

“Promise me you’ll keep the blindfold on.”

She swallowed. “I promise.”

“Thank you, sweetheart.” There was tenderness in his voice along with the excitement. She blinked against the blindfold, forcing back tears.

Dax released her arm and got out. He opened the trunk then closed it again. Gravel crunched. Then all was silent and she was alone.

She could peek. She could remove the blindfold and opt out of his game. But she would keep her promise and try to cling to the remnants of trust and hope. It was possible she’d misinterpreted the situation, and Dax truly cared about her and her dream for the future.

Gravel crunched again, a warning before the passenger door opened. Dax’s hand gripped her arm. “Climb out carefully. I’ve got you.”

She stepped down and found her footing.

He put his arm around her and urged her forward, steering her along a gravel path that inclined slightly upward. “Steps,” he said. “Going up. Four of them.”

Side by side, they mounted the steps. He turned her to face the way they’d come. “Close your eyes.” His fingers worked at the knot she’d tied in the blindfold, then the fabric fell away from her head. His arm came back around her shoulders. “Open your eyes, Lily.”

She obeyed, blinking against the sudden glare of sunshine and then focusing on a stunning view. Roughly grassed land dropped gently away in front of them, down to a wooded area. If there were houses below, the woods hid them, and she looked straight out at the ocean, choppy today, with sun sparkling off white caps. “Wow.”

“And look over there. See the stream?”

Her gaze followed his pointing finger to the right, where bare-branched trees meandered in a straggly line, and through them sunlight glinted off water.

“Imagine it in the spring,” he said. “Dogwoods in bloom, the stream burbling, the fields scattered with wildflowers. Sailboats out on the ocean.” He hugged her closer. “Total privacy, not a neighbor in sight.”

It was a view to fall in love with, for sure. But she knew that she stood on the porch of a house built for a childless couple. Still, she gave him the truth. “It’s a wonderful view. I imagine it’s lovely in all seasons.”

“Now come inside. You’ll have to use your imagination.”

Imagine a life without children? Could she do that? If he intended to steamroll her and issue an ultimatum—him or having children—then no, she couldn’t. If he opened his heart to her, though, and told her why he couldn’t envision having kids and begged her to let their love be enough to fill her heart . . . What on earth would she do?

She squared her shoulders. First, she needed to know the truth. Maybe then, her heart would give her the answer.

She turned and saw the wooden-shaked front of the cottage from the real-estate listing. When Dax shoved the door open, it groaned. My sentiment exactly. Biting her lip, she stepped through.

The door opened into a small living room. Hideous dark fake wood paneling lined the walls, grotty orange shag carpet covered the floor, and the room was empty of furniture. A small fire crackled in an attractive old-brick fireplace. In front of the fire Dax had spread the rug they kept in the trunk of the car, and beside it sat a cooler and a shopping bag with a loaf of French bread sticking out. So that was where he’d been this morning: buying picnic food to bring here.

The scene in front of her was a combination of hideous and charming.

Her mouth dry, Lily forced herself to say, “Another picnic in front of a fire? You brought me a long way for this.” She faced Dax and gazed up at him. Now he had to tell her what was going on.

His gray eyes glowed silver with excitement. “I spent my spare time this week checking out properties.”

“You didn’t tell me.” Yes, it sounded accusing, and that was how she felt.

“You were busy, interviewing the new office manager, working with your receptionist to figure out what kind of reports she could produce. Then you had your volunteer work yesterday. I didn’t want to waste your time.”

“Dax, we’re supposed to be sharing things. Discussing things.” Especially the one most critical decision: whether he wanted to have children.

His face fell. “I’m sorry. I just thought I’d narrow things down.”

Narrow things down to a single property that he was ready to make an offer on. Right. Pretending innocence, she said, “So today we’re touring the places on your short list?”

“Only this one. I saw it yesterday and it seemed perfect.”

“Perfect,” she echoed flatly. A one-bedroom cottage was perfect?

“It’s an hour’s commute to your clinic by ferry and car, with a ferry every hour. There’s also a seasonal water taxi for commuters. The property’s two acres, beautiful land. When I saw the land, the view, I was sold.”

“Your own personal piece of wilderness.” She could understand what that meant to him. Even believe that it might be great to live here. To raise children here. She could imagine a little girl and boy running through the wildflowers, floating sticks in the stream, going to the beach with their friends. Except Dax’s vision didn’t include those children.

“Our piece.” He touched her cheek.

She closed her eyes for a moment, savoring the slight roughness of his calloused fingers against her skin, then broke away. “Show me the rest of it.” Realizing she was warm, she took off her coat and hung it on a doorknob. “That fire throws a lot of heat.”

He took off his jacket too, and tossed it on the floor. “The heat’s been on for a while. I had the Realtor come in this morning to turn it and the water on, and to lay a fire so it’d be ready to light when we arrived.”

Dax had thought of everything. Except the one thing that really mattered to Lily.

He moved across the room to a doorway. “Kitchen’s here. Nothing special but it has the basics. Nice view from the windows.”

She joined him and they stepped into a room that was empty of appliances and furniture. It had dingy green walls and tired beige-patterned linoleum. Two or three times the size of the condo’s kitchen, there’d be space for a table and chairs by one window, possibly an island as well. The other window was above the sink. Both let in winter sunlight, making the room bright and almost cheerful. “With some polishing, it could be a pleasant room,” she admitted.

“It’s better than the bathroom,” he said, taking her hand and tugging her along.

A short hall led from the living room, with what appeared to be a closet on one side and the bathroom on the other. She grimaced at the stained sink and toilet and the worn floor tile, shower tile, and wallpaper, all in different patterns. There was no bathtub.

“Not a room you’d want to linger in,” she said. No lovely soaks in the tub with a good book.

“The bedroom’s better.”

It couldn’t be worse.

They walked a few more steps down the hall and entered a room about twelve feet by fourteen, with a long closet at one end. Room for a queen-sized bed, bedside tables, and a dresser—which was all you really needed. A bedroom was for sleeping, reading in bed, and sex.

Again, there were windows, providing lovely views and, today, sunshine. She could imagine her and Dax using this bedroom, making it attractive. Perhaps installing a glass sliding door to replace one of the windows. But there was only one bedroom. No room for children. “Dax.” She turned to him. Enough of wandering through this cottage, a little house that might, with some hard work and money, be comfortable for a childless couple. Time to resolve this, once and for all.

And, she realized, time to be honest. She was upset with Dax for not sharing the decisions he’d reached, much less his thought process. Instead of asking him, she’d pretended that she hadn’t seen the offer, and nursed secret resentment. No wonder their relationship was so messed up. They had no idea how to be truly open and honest with each other.

A sense of calm seeped through her. “I can’t go on like this. With neither of us being honest.”

He frowned. “I didn’t mean to be dishonest. It was supposed to be a nice surprise.”

“Right.” Which only showed how out of sync they truly were.

His frown deepened. “What do you mean about you not being honest?”

Standing about two feet away, she studied him. So dashing and handsome in a lightweight black sweater, jeans, and boots, with his over-long black hair and sexy beard. Her husband. The husband she’d never really known and possibly never would. “I saw the offer.”

“Offer? What offer?”

“The one to buy this place.”

“Oh, shit.” He whacked his hand against his head. “So much for my surprise. Look, Lily, it’s not like I meant to go ahead and buy it before you saw it and agreed. Both our names are on that offer, right? It’s just, the place only came on the market this week. It’s an amazing buy. It’s an estate sale and the heirs need the money, so they’re in a hurry to sell. The Realtor said the property market was slow over the holidays, but it picks up quickly in January. If we want it, we need to move quickly.” Though he sounded a little apologetic, mostly his tone was still excited.

“And you want it? This”—she gestured, meaning not just the sunny bedroom but the whole run-down place, the cottage that had no room for children—“this is what you want?”

“We’ve done a lot of talking about different ways we might live, ways that would work for both of us. This is close enough to Vancouver that we could commute, work three or four long days then have the rest of the time off. If we sell the condo, we’d easily be able to handle the mortgage. The Realtor says it’s a good investment too. Not that I’m really thinking of it that way. I’m thinking it’d be our home.”

“Our home,” she said flatly.

He ran a hand through his hair, sighed. “Okay, I see you’re not enthused. I hoped you’d see the potential.”

“Potential? You mean, like fixing up the kitchen and ripping up that horrible orange shag?”

“Well, yeah, for a start, but . . .” He shook his head. “Wait a minute. I haven’t told you what I’m thinking, have I?”

She planted her hands on her hips. “Dax, I haven’t a clue what you’re thinking.”

“Okay. Well, even though it’s kind of grotty, I figured it’d at least be livable. The kitchen and bedroom wouldn’t take much work. The bathroom’s a whole other story, but we could live with it for a while. We’d work out a new floor plan, expand the living room, put in a proper big bathroom with a tub.”

“Oh.” In her experience, you bought a place you liked then furnished it. “You see it as a fixer-upper?”

“The alternative is to tear it down and start fresh, but I think the cottage suits the land.”

“Tear it down? Do major renovations? Dax, that would be incredibly expensive.”

“Not so much. You remember what I was doing when we met, right?”

Light dawned. “Construction.” It was so long ago and he’d changed so much, she’d almost forgotten.

“I can do most of the work myself and it’ll save a lot of money, though it’ll take some time. But in a couple of years, we could have a really nice house. We can come up with a design that lets us add whatever we need. Home office, more bedrooms, another bath, and—”

“More bedrooms?” she broke in. Her heart skipped a beat. Why would they need more bedrooms? Did he mean a guest room or . . .

“For”—he swallowed—“for kids, Lily. A couple, maybe three. I think this would be a great place to raise kids.”

“You, you . . .” Her body trembled with nerves. Oh God, if she misunderstood again, let herself hope again, the disappointment would destroy her. “You’ve changed your mind about having children?”

He frowned in apparent puzzlement. “Lily, sweetheart, I’d never have had an offer drawn up if I wasn’t thinking this place could be home for you and me and our children.” He stepped forward and framed her face with his big hands.

“R-really?” Her heart was in her throat, making it hard to speak. Could she believe in this? “You do want to have children?”

“Yeah, I do.”

If she was to believe that he’d gone from a flat-out no at New Year’s to truly wanting children, she needed more. “Tell me why you changed your mind.”

He swallowed. “I realized that, when you and I fell in love and got married, I . . .” Another swallow. “I held something back. The way things were with my parents, it made me wary of trusting that I really mattered to someone. That I deserved love. And you were so focused on your career . . .”

“I took you for granted and made you feel like you didn’t matter to me? Oh Dax, of course my work’s important to me, but I love you so much. I’m sorry I didn’t show you just how much.”

“Your parents weren’t exactly a good example. They’re more like partners than spouses. The opposite of my folks, who were so dependent on each other that it was unhealthy. Anyhow, I guess I never totally trusted in us. I figured those dreams we spun when we were teenagers were foolish, and the best we’d share would be some good times together. I convinced myself it was enough, that I didn’t want more. I told myself I’d be a crappy dad, that I didn’t want kids. Like I said before, I assumed you’d chosen your career over having kids.”

“And now?” She knew her eyes must reveal all the hope in her heart.

“Now I’m tired of holding back. How can I achieve a dream if I don’t totally commit to it, and throw myself into achieving it?”

“You can’t.” She blinked back tears of hope. “I can’t. Are you saying you’re really ready to commit to us, and to making a family together?”

“That’s what this is about.” He gestured to the sun-filled bedroom. “This place may not be the right one, but I wanted to act. To take steps forward to show you I’m committed.”

Dax, the man of action. It made total sense. Tears spilled down her cheeks. “When I saw the property listing,” she confessed softly, “I saw there was only one bedroom. I thought you’d decided you didn’t want children and hadn’t even told me.”

“Shit, Lily.” He stared into her eyes. “And yet you came with me?”

“I wanted to trust you. But I should have said something right away, not brooded.”

“At least you trusted me enough to give me a chance. And I guess I should have told you as soon as I realized I did want to have kids with you. I promised to do that, but I didn’t.”

“We both still have some work to do.” Reality was sinking in. “You really mean it?” Her voice rose with excitement. “You want children with me? You’re not just saying it to make me happy?”

He clasped her hands. “To make me happy too.” He tugged her closer and bent to touch his lips to hers in a tender, loving kiss.

She would have sunk deep into that kiss and stayed there forever, but he pulled away. “I need to check the fire. And I brought a picnic lunch. Let’s go back to the front room.” He sounded nervous, perhaps awaiting her verdict on this property.

When he headed for the other room, she followed. He added wood to the fire, taking chunks from a battered wooden box. They could sit in front of the fire on winter evenings. Picnic in front of the fire. Make love in front of the fire.

She gazed around the shabby room, imagining it with the paneling stripped off, hardwood floors, area rugs. Furniture. Not the formal furniture from the condo, but something more rustic and homey. “Dax, I think this place might work out.”

He turned and gazed up at her. “Really? You like it? Do you think this could be part of our amazing solution?”

“I can see the potential. You’re sure you want to do so much work?”

A smile split his face as he came to his feet. “Finest work in the world, building a home for our family. I’d much rather do that than move into a place that’s all finished and perfect. This way, we can plan it out together, make it exactly the way we want it.”

She’d never imagined doing anything like that. “Oh my, that sounds amazing.” She let out a bubbly laugh. “Dax, I think we’ve found our amazing solution!”

“I think we have.” He caught her by the waist, lifted her off her feet, and, as she gripped his shoulders in surprise, he swung her in a circle.

When he set her down, laughing, a wicked gleam lit his eyes. “When we furnish that bedroom, we’ll need a four-poster bed.”

“We will?”

“So we can take turns tying each other to it.”

She chuckled. “Be still my heart.”

He bent to remove his boots then sat down on the spread rug. “Come on down here.”

She slipped out of her own boots and sat beside him. “I’m getting addicted to picnics.”

He opened the cooler and took out two chilled flute glasses, then a bottle of Dom Pérignon.

“Oh my, Dax. To toast the cabin?” Had he been so sure she’d love it?

He shook his head, deftly opened the wine, and poured two glasses. “To toast us, and the future.” He handed her a glass.

She raised it high. “I’ll drink to that.”

“Before you do”—he swallowed, again looking nervous—“there’s something I want to ask you.”

“I’m not sure I can survive any more surprises today.”

“I hope this is a good one. Will you marry me, Lily?”

She gaped at him. A tentative smile tugged at her lips. “Didn’t we already do that?”

“We did, as kids. Now we’re grown up, we’re stronger and smarter, and this feels to me like a fresh start. I want to say those vows to you again, Lily, with one hundred percent commitment. To love, honor, and cherish, from this day forward until death us do part. You, me, and the children we’ll bring into this world.”

Those crazy tears of joy were falling again as a deep sense of contentment and belonging filled her. “Oh yes, Dax. I’ll say those vows happily, my love.” How about that? First George, then Kim, and now her, engaged to marry wonderful men.

They clicked their glasses together, drank deeply. Then he took her glass and put both of them down. “We’ll do it our way this time,” he said. “Not a formal wedding to please your parents, but whatever the two of us want. Maybe here, when the spring flowers are up.”

She nodded. “Yes.” Then her imp made her add, “Whatever you say, Falcon.”

“You’re an impertinent woman, you know that?” he teased.

“Perhaps I deserve to be punished?”

“You certainly do.”

“What do you have in mind, oh lord and master?” Sexy anticipation tingled through her body.

“Let’s see. I think I’ll start by having you strip, then you’ll lie absolutely still while I drip champagne all over your body and lick it off. Very, very slowly. And if you disobey and move, I’ll start all over again.”

She quivered at the thought. “I just might be very, very bad.” And then a thought struck her, and she started to laugh.

“What’s so funny?”

Trying to speak between chuckles, she said, “Do you realize, we may well owe our marriage to Bound by Desire?”

His eyes widened, and then he started to laugh too. “If I hadn’t read it and tried something different in bed . . .”

“I might not have loosened up. You and I might not have connected, talked.”

“It broke down some barriers, in more ways than one.”

She smirked. “Book club’s supposed to be educational.”

“Keep reading. I can’t wait for the next book. But for now . . .” He held up her scarf.

“You’re blindfolding me?”

He shook his head. “It’s my turn. Blindfold me. But wait a minute.” He stood and shucked off his clothes, then returned to sit beside her. “Now.”

“You’re going to do the champagne thing blindfolded?”

“That’s the idea.”

“I’m not complaining, but why?”

“So we’re both giving up a little control.”

Just like in a true marriage, where two equal partners shared, compromised, and trusted. Oh yes, she and Dax were learning to do all those things. “Bend your head.” She wrapped the scarf around and around, firmly but not too tight. The feminine design made his tousled black hair, hawklike nose, and beard look even more masculine. “Can you see anything?”

“Nope.”

“Is it comfortable?”

“The scarf is. Being unable to see is weird.”

“Believe me, I know. But I’ll look after you.”

“And I’ll look after you. Now, Lily, take off your clothes and lie down.”

She complied quickly, glad of the fire’s warmth. “Ready.”

He reached out, patting the rug. “Point—uh, I mean direct—me toward the champagne bottle.”

“You’re not really going to waste expensive champagne on—”

“Waste?” A wicked grin flashed. “Believe me, licking champagne off your body will be far better than drinking it from a glass.”

Smiling, she said, “If you insist. The bottle’s a little more to your right.”

Cautiously he stretched out his fingers, located the bottle, and grasped it firmly. Then he slid across the rug and reached out with his other hand to brush her bare thigh. “There you are.” His fingers explored down her leg, then up. “All naked. And I don’t need to see to know you’re lovely. Warm enough, sweetheart?”

“Plenty warm.” And getting warmer as his hand reached the top of her thigh.

He cupped her briefly between her legs, but before she could press against him and ask for more, he moved upward. He caressed her tummy, rib cage, breasts, chest, then framed the side of her face. With his other hand, he lifted the bottle and took a drink, then he put the bottle down carefully on the floor by her head.

Bending over her, he brought his lips to hers and kissed her slowly and deeply, parting her lips with his tongue and delving inside. Kissing him back, she tasted champagne and Dax, a heady combination that made her pulse race.

He eased away. “Now lie still, Lily. I can’t see you, so I have to trust you.”

“I won’t move.” She held still, watching as he retrieved the bottle.

Again he bent over her, running his free hand questingly across her shoulder, her chest, her right breast. As if he’d marked the spot, he tipped the bottle as he removed his hand. Chilly liquid dribbled over her breast and she gave an involuntary shiver of reaction and anticipation.

He put the bottle aside, lowered himself, and found her damp flesh with his tongue. He licked in long, firm swipes that made her nipple pucker and resonated all through her body. Then he carried on, surprisingly coordinated as he adjusted to being blind, dripping champagne across her belly and into her navel, following it with licks, sucks, the occasional nip.

Sensation built, her skin tingling with it, arousal growing inside her. Her voluntary immobility enhanced her awareness of every touch. Watching Dax and knowing he couldn’t see her doing it, noting how his cock had swollen to rise up his belly, made her even more turned on. When, finally, he put an arm under her butt to lift her and sent a trickle of champagne between her legs, she tensed, desperate for the touch of his tongue.

And then he was there, where she most needed him, tasting her until she stifled a moan. But wait, he’d only told her to stay still, not to keep quiet. So she let the moan escape, followed by, “Oh God, that feels so good.”

“Tastes damned good too. So good I want seconds.”

More chilly liquid trickled across her heated flesh. His tongue followed it, relentlessly teasing her until she let out breathy whimpers. “Please, Dax, I need to come. And then I need you inside me.”

“Sweetheart, your wish is my command.” He slid two fingers inside her, pumped them gently, sucked her swollen clit into his mouth.

Sweet release flooded through her. “Yes, oh yes!”

He kept her at the peak, pumping slowly, pressing lightly on her clit, until finally she groaned. “Enough. I can’t take any more.”

He lowered her butt down on the rug and slid up her body to blanket her.

“I want to move now,” she said. “Can I please move? And I want to take off your blindfold so we can see each other when you come into me.”

“You can move, Lily. Move as much as you want. And yes, I want to see your beautiful face when we make love.”

She reached behind his head and fumbled with the knot she’d tied earlier. The silk fell away.

He blinked a couple of times, then focused on her face and smiled. “I like playing sex games by the fire.”

“Me too.” A thought struck her. “We won’t be able to do this when we have kids.”

“Sure we can. I’ll build us a new bedroom with our very own fireplace.”

She grinned up at him. “I should have known you’d come up with an amazing solution.”

“You motivate me. I love you, Lily.”

“I love you too, Dax, my past, present, and future husband.”