The next morning, she washed and dressed, putting on her nurse’s cap, clean cuffs and apron. If she’d been married she would have been in deep mourning, not her work clothes, she thought, wearing black crape as an outward expression of her love for her sister, and a shield against unwanted curiosity. She recalled how when Theo had died, Stepmother had consulted with her copy of Cassell’s to decide what they should wear, and arranged for a London dressmaker to call, bringing ready-made clothes and patterns.
She knew it was useless speculating, but she couldn’t stop asking herself if Ruby would still be alive if she’d obeyed their father and stayed in Canterbury; if Hannah had kept a closer eye on her; if she’d been stricter, or less strict …
Bracing herself, she put a few of Ruby’s precious possessions into a box for safekeeping, then made her way to the clinic on Cecil Square. She gazed up at the house, feeling a pang of regret. If she’d accepted James’s hand in marriage, she could have been living there as his wife, not coming to work to scrape a living from the hours he could offer, which were nowhere near as long as those she’d had at the infirmary.
Eyeing the brass plaque outside the door, to which Doctor Hunter’s name and qualifications had been added, Hannah rang the bell. An elderly woman answered.
‘Good morning. You must be Sister Bentley.’
‘Good day, Mrs Bellows.’
‘Do come in. Doctor Clifton is expecting you.’
She waited in the reception area where the walls were decorated in cool blues and greys with a patterned wallpaper above the dado rail. The floor was carpeted and there were several overstuffed chairs for the use of the paying patients, who could read the magazines and books left on the side table.
‘Sister Bentley, I’m so glad to see you.’ She turned at the sound of James’s voice as he emerged at the foot of the stairs. ‘I’ve been in to the house this morning, and Mercy is a little better, having taken to the breast. Now that she’s feeding on milk, I’ve been able to stop tube-feeding her. She’s still terribly underweight and sleeping most of the time, but she hasn’t been sick since yesterday.’
‘That’s a relief,’ Hannah said.
‘I’m crossing my fingers for her.’ He smiled briefly. ‘The ones on my left hand, anyway. We have a busy surgery this morning. Mrs Bellows will welcome the patients at reception while you assist in the examination room. You may hang your cape in the cloakroom through there.’
Within a few minutes, Hannah was working alongside him, looking after their first patient, a young boy with bellyache. The second patient was a familiar face.
‘Oh, it’s you?’ Mrs Phillips said, looking down her nose at her as she entered the room.
‘Sister Bentley is assisting me while my arm mends,’ James said jovially.
‘I see …’
‘If you wish to consult with another doctor, I won’t stand in your way,’ James went on.
‘I will trust your judgement,’ she said quickly. ‘I have this rash, a few pimples across my chest. I would describe them to you, but it’s far better that you see them for yourself.’
‘Sister Bentley, help Mrs Phillips into a gown,’ James said, leaving the room for a while before returning to look at his patient at great length and with even greater ceremony.
‘Have you been taking blood purifiers recently?’
‘My friend recommended a course of iodide of potassium.’
‘You would listen to an acquaintance rather than your doctor?’ James made a pretence of looking aghast, and Mrs Phillips had the grace to look rather ashamed.
‘I don’t like to bother you all the time,’ she said.
‘It’s well known that blood purifiers can cause an eruption of pimples on the skin.’
‘I’m confused – the apothecary never mentioned it.’
‘You really should have come to me first. I advise you to stop them and return to taking a half-pint of seawater daily.’
‘Isn’t there some sweeter medicine? I’d rather take champagne.’
‘I’m afraid not. There are occasions when one must feel worse before one feels better.’
‘I see. Oh dear, it sounds like purgatory.’
When she had gone, they saw several more patients before James excused himself to attend to his messages. Hannah cleaned the examination room from top to bottom, making it smell of carbolic and lemon. When she was ready to leave, James met her in reception.
‘You must stop for luncheon. We can go to the inn nearby for refreshment. It’s my housekeeper’s half-day – she won’t be at home to cook for me.’ He glanced at his cast. ‘I’m not much good at making anything for myself. What do you think?’
‘It’s very kind of you, James, but—’
‘You want to rush back to the house to sit with Mercy?’
She nodded. She didn’t like to waste a minute.
‘Nurse Huckstep is with her, and visiting doesn’t start for half an hour. We’ve had this conversation before – you have to keep yourself healthy, for the infant’s sake. Come with me – we’ll be less than one hour, I promise.’
They went to one of the local hotel dining rooms where they ordered a light lunch of cold meats and potatoes, the waiter serving James’s meat pre-cut.
‘He seems particularly attentive,’ Hannah observed.
‘They know me well here. How are you, Hannah?’
‘I’ve felt better,’ she admitted. ‘I can’t sleep for nightmares. I keep thinking I should have done something to save my sister.’
‘I noticed your father didn’t come to the funeral.’
‘He’s a bad-tempered and brutal man, and I wish I wasn’t his flesh and blood. I think that was part of the problem – Ruby was looking for a man’s approval, something he never gave. If it hadn’t been Mr Milani, she would have thrown herself in the way of somebody else.’
‘She must have been terrified when she found out she was with child, not just for herself but for the effect it would have on you.’
‘Why didn’t she turn to me? I should have been kinder, more understanding.’
‘She wanted to protect you for as long as she could. I’m sorry that I couldn’t see what was going on.’
‘How could you have done? She put on a front while she was at work – it was only when she was at home that she would slip into a slough of despond. I wish I’d been able to share my concerns for her, but how could I when she had broken the rules of polite society by consorting with Mr Milani? And then there is the stigma of it – a mother is supposed to be loving and protective of her infant.’
‘I’m just as guilty for not raising the subject of disorders of the mind. My wife – Suzanna – she didn’t blunder into the fire and catch her nightgown alight. I walked into the parlour to find her standing beside the grate, pouring lamp oil down her gown and holding a lighted match. As I shouted at her to stop, she touched the match to the oil and – it was too late. The flames engulfed her …’
‘I’m so sorry.’
‘I’ve never told anyone of this before. It took a long time for me to forgive her. I was angry with her, very angry. And ashamed for feeling that way as I watched her endure a lingering death from her burns. I understand your suffering, Hannah. I let the coroner interpret the situation as he wished. I regret that I lied – or rather kept the truth to myself at the inquest – but I wanted to protect her reputation, her family and myself. I couldn’t forgive her at first, but now I know there was nothing I could do to save her. One day, she would have tried again and succeeded.’
‘As I’ve said before, Ruby followed in my mother’s footsteps,’ Hannah said. ‘She took her own life soon after Ruby was born, and my family kept that a secret too.’
‘It appears that these disorders can be passed down through families from one generation to the next. I’m making it part of my life’s work to investigate how to treat the afflicted to prevent further suffering. That’s why I see the likes of Mrs Phillips at my clinic. One day, we’ll find a cure for these ills which cause as much difficulty to patients and their loved ones as physical disorders. I hope that as my cousin develops his practice, I’ll be able to take on fewer of the routine cases and concentrate on conditions of mood and mental distress.’
‘It’s an admirable ambition, and I hope you make progress quickly.’
‘What Ruby did, I’m sure she did out of love. She would have hoped for a better future for her daughter and wanted you to carry on nursing, unfettered by the responsibility and financial cost of looking after your niece.’
It was a reasonable explanation, she thought, biting back a fresh attack of tears.
‘I’m very grateful for your friendship,’ she said eventually. ‘There are some who won’t give me the time of day.’
‘Then that is their loss,’ he smiled gently. ‘I’m sure you’ve thought about the future. Have you any plans for Mercy when she’s well enough to leave the house?’
‘I’ve done little but think,’ she admitted.
‘She’ll remain on the ward for at least another couple of weeks.’
‘The wet nurse …?’ she began.
‘It’s all right. She’s all paid for—’
‘I don’t like accepting charity, but I have no choice in this instance. I’m exceedingly grateful, but I intend to pay you back every penny.’
‘Let’s not worry about that now,’ James said. ‘Have you heard anything from Mrs Knowles?’
Hannah shook her head.
‘She’s informed me that the meeting has been put back by a few days.’
‘It makes no difference,’ Hannah said wearily. ‘I have little hope of being restored to my place.’
‘I think there is some room for optimism,’ James insisted. ‘The infirmary has received many donations of food, bandages and money since the publicity in the newspapers. I shall advise that it doesn’t make a good impression, dismissing a valued member of staff in these circumstances.’
‘Thank you for trying, but I know my future there is precarious. The people of Margate are donating to the house to honour the heroic Doctor Clifton, not to help Ruby’s child.’
‘There are some who’ve been touched by your sister’s story …’
‘You don’t have to dress it up to make me feel better. They blame her for the situation, for allowing Mr Milani to lead her astray and for selling her child to the Allspices to be paraded as a freak. I am Ruby’s sister. In the eyes of society, I am tarred with the same brush.’ She couldn’t restrain herself any longer. It was all too much. The tears flowed. ‘I don’t know why you continue to risk your reputation by standing by me.’
‘You know very well,’ he said gruffly, handing her a handkerchief. ‘You’ve helped me – unknowingly, perhaps – find renewed joy in my work as a physician. You have restored my faith in God, and …’ He fell silent. ‘Before we met, I was dying from grief, but you healed me with your friendship. It’s my turn to make you better, if I can. You deserve to stay on the wards at the house, and I will do my utmost to make sure that happens, and one day, when you are matron, we will look back and say, look what we’ve achieved.’
It was kind of him to stand up for her, she thought, but with her worries for Mercy’s future, her ambition to become matron didn’t seem quite as important as it had been before.
In the days that followed, Hannah visited Mercy morning and evening, and assisted both Doctor Clifton and Doctor Hunter at the private clinic. At last the time arrived for the special meeting of the Board, to decide on Hannah’s future at the infirmary. It was convened in private with Mr Phillips, Mr Osbourne-Cole and two other governors, Doctor Clifton, Mr Anthony and Matron in attendance.
‘What chance do I have of being allowed to continue at the infirmary when these gentlemen are sitting in judgement?’ Hannah whispered aside to Mrs Knowles as they were shown to their seats in the boardroom.
‘Hush,’ she said. ‘Sit down.’
Flanked by Mrs Knowles and Doctor Clifton, Hannah sat opposite the Chairman of the Board, who banged his gavel to call for their attention.
‘Good day, ladies and gentlemen. We are met here to discuss the possible suspension or dismissal of Sister Bentley. For what crime, may I ask?’ Mr Phillips peered over his half-moon spectacles, his head tremoring before his gaze settled on Mrs Knowles. ‘Matron?’
‘Sister Bentley is currently on compassionate leave from this house,’ she said. ‘As far as I’m aware, no crime has been committed.’
‘May I speak?’ Doctor Clifton said.
‘I should speak first,’ Mr Anthony interrupted. ‘I’m a busy man with patients queued up outside theatre waiting to go under the knife.’
‘I appreciate that, but—’
‘You have no idea, Mr Phillips,’ Mr Anthony said acidly. ‘I’m up to my elbows in blood and gore every day. Thanks to your cuts, my scalpels are blunt and my forceps are falling apart.’
‘This isn’t the time to be talking about finance,’ Mr Phillips said crossly.
‘Then I insist on it being noted down for consideration at the next full meeting of the Board.’
‘Consider it done. What did you wish to say? Doctor Clifton, I will come to you later.’
‘Whatever you decide, our visiting physician should not be allowed to influence proceedings.’ Mr Anthony cast him a glare as he opened his mouth to argue. James sat back. ‘I don’t know the truth of it, and I don’t wish to, but I would suggest that his friendship with Sister Bentley leaves him open to accusations of bias. I’m the one person who can offer a frank and fair judgement on this matter.’
Hannah’s heart sank, any hope she’d had dismissed in an instant. Mr Anthony didn’t like her. He never had.
‘Sister Bentley and I didn’t see eye to eye at first,’ he went on, ‘but I’ve come to appreciate her competence and complete devotion to duty. In a nutshell, why should a valued member of staff be dismissed because of her sister’s sins? Since when has sin been a contagion?’
‘This is about the reputation of the infirmary,’ Mr Phillips responded. ‘As in any family, one is forced to make unpleasant decisions on occasion to keep up appearances.’ He paused, and Hannah wondered if he was thinking of his wife.
‘As in any family, we should look after our own,’ Mr Anthony insisted. ‘Mrs Knowles, what is your opinion?’
‘She should stay on. I’m sure we all have a skeleton or two in our cupboards, so to speak, yet we are all in positions of responsibility and influence.’
‘Really, Matron.’ Mr Phillips frowned. ‘What proof do you have of this? How do you back up that accusation?’
‘It’s my job to know everything that goes on within this hospital. I see who comes and goes, whose wife attends frequently to consult with a particular doctor, like a bee to a honeypot. I hear the sounds of … intimate connection … going on in theatre late at night.’ Hannah noticed her glance towards Mr Anthony, whose shoulders shrank a little. ‘I believe that we should take the path of forgiveness and charity and let Sister Bentley continue in her place. I feel sure that you agree with me, gentlemen.’
There were general murmurings of assent before Mr Phillips declared that Hannah could remain as Sister of the Lettsom without a stain on her character.
‘Thank you for speaking up for me, Mr Anthony,’ she said, as they left the boardroom and entered the corridor.
‘I spoke my mind. Don’t you dare prove me wrong on this or I’ll make sure you never work again.’ A twinkle appeared in his eye. ‘And there’s absolutely no truth in what Matron said.’
‘Of course,’ she said, thinking of his wife and the nurse who worked with him in theatre.
‘That went better than I expected,’ James said, joining them. ‘It’s a shame in a way – Mrs Bellows will miss your help at the clinic. Perhaps you could drop by later to collect your wages.’
She nodded – she needed time to think about the implications of being allowed to return to work.
‘Welcome back,’ Mrs Knowles said, letting the gentlemen pass. ‘You see how a little knowledge is never a bad thing. When can you start? I realise that you’ll have to make provision for the child, so I’m willing to be flexible.’
‘I’m not sure. I haven’t decided what to do.’
‘It’s a heavy burden. I have an acquaintance who farms her son out to her family – she hardly sees him, perhaps only once or twice a year. Unfortunately, the boy is a distraction – she’s always worrying about him. It’s probably better all round to put the little one up for adoption. I’ll make some enquiries.’
‘Thank you, Matron.’ Hannah bit her lip to suppress a wave of renewed resentment at poor Ruby for putting her into an impossible quandary.
‘I’ll assume that you’ll be back within the month. If not, I’ll have to advertise for a replacement. In the meantime, I’m going to transfer Nurse Huckstep to the Lettsom as acting Sister. The infant is much improved, and the doctors have agreed that she doesn’t require intensive nursing any longer.’
‘I’m sorry for putting you to all this trouble.’
‘Let me know of your intentions as soon as possible,’ Matron said. ‘I don’t want to be forced by urgency to take on a slatternly widow or runaway wife in your stead.’
‘I will, I promise.’
‘Come with me and we’ll give Nurse Huckstep the news.’
When they arrived, Hannah could see through to the balcony where the wet nurse was suckling Mercy. She suppressed her desire to rush across to see her niece as Alice came over to greet her and Mrs Knowles.
‘Good morning, Matron and Sister Bentley,’ she said.
‘Is all well?’ Matron asked.
‘Everything’s shipshape and Bristol fashion, thank you.’ Eyebrows raised, Alice glanced from Matron to Hannah and back.
‘How is Mercy? What have the doctors said today?’
‘That Doctor Clifton’s modifications to the saltwater treatment have given her much benefit during the past week. Her pulse, breathing and temperature are all normal for an infant of her age, and she’s feeding well. However, Doctor Hunter has expressed his continuing reservations about the likely extent of her recovery from the effects of strong spirits on her brain and liver.’
‘Then it is a case of “wait and see”,’ Matron said. ‘Nurse Huckstep, Doctor Clifton has said that the child no longer requires individual nursing.’
‘That’s right,’ Alice said.
‘In that case, I must ask you to hand over her care to Sister Riley. After lunch, you’ll join the staff on the Lettsom, where you are to take over the role of acting Sister until Sister Bentley returns to work.’
‘I’m honoured,’ Alice said, touching her throat. She flashed Hannah a smile before she went to speak to Sister Riley, who seemed a little upset to be losing her to one of the boys’ wards.
‘You’ve been a boon, and I hope to have you back very soon,’ Hannah heard her say.
‘Is there anything I need to finish before I take my break?’ Alice asked.
‘You can go now, if you like. It’s almost twelve.’
‘Thank you. I’d like one last cuddle with Mercy and I’m sure Hannah – I mean, Sister Bentley – wants to see her too.’
Alice took the baby from the wet nurse who fastened the buttons on her blouse, pulled her shawl over her shoulders, and hurried off.
‘There, there, little one,’ she murmured as Mercy started to sob. ‘Here’s your Auntie Hannah.’
‘I find it strange being addressed as such,’ Hannah said, holding Mercy against her shoulder and patting her back. She belched and her sobbing subsided.
‘Ah, it was a touch of wind,’ Alice said. ‘She’ll be fine now. She’s had the most terrible gripes.’
‘Hello, sweetheart.’ Her heart melting, Hannah held Mercy a few inches from her face and gazed into her eyes. Mercy stuffed her fist into her mouth and stared back, cross-eyed. ‘She seems all there. What do you think, Alice?’
‘She still sleeps a lot, but when she’s awake, she’s as bright as a button. Sometimes, I think the doctors are worrying unnecessarily about her development, but I suppose they’re wary of giving a good prognosis, in case they turn out to be wrong.’ Alice winked. ‘There’s more kudos to be gained that way. I’m so glad you’ve kept your place, but I hope you don’t think I’m treading on your toes, taking over the Lettsom. It’s only temporary.’
‘I can’t think of anyone better to do it.’
‘What are you going to do about Mercy?’
‘I don’t know.’ Hannah held her close, breathing in her scent of milk and soap. The choice was stark. ‘I promised Ruby I’d look after her and I’ll do my best, even if that means putting her up for adoption, or farming her out. I have a cousin on my mother’s side who might be prevailed upon to take her.’
‘Can’t you have a girl to look after her while you work a few hours a day for someone like Doctor Clifton?’ Alice suggested.
‘I’ve thought of that, but how will I make ends meet? How can I pay for a child’s care out of a nurse’s wage?’
She was under no illusion that the first option would cause her great pain – like having a surgeon cut out her heart without anaesthetic. The second option was easier to contemplate but would lead to a life of penury and struggle.
‘I could help you,’ Alice said. ‘I have a little money put by.’
‘I couldn’t possibly,’ Hannah said. ‘You never know when you might need that yourself.’
‘I could mind her for you from time to time.’
‘I’m very grateful, but you have enough to deal with. Are you sure that you’re recovered enough to manage a ward?’
‘I like to work to keep my mind off what might happen to me in the future. I feel better than ever, but I’ll never be able to say that I’m cured, only that my symptoms have abated. There’s no need for you to feel sorry for me. I’ve never been happier.’
‘Do you think you’ll ever go back to London?’
‘Doctor Clifton says that for the benefit of my health, I should stay in Margate, which suits me very well.’ Alice changed the subject. ‘Have you heard? Mr Allspice has tried to gain readmittance to the house because he’s destitute and wants to avoid the poorhouse.’
‘What’s happened to his wife and children?’
‘Alan and his brother came into some money and took the whole family, apart from their invalid father, to America. They’ve gone and left him to fend for himself, an impossible task for a grumpy old man in a bath chair. Anyway, he’s come to a sad end now. As Mr Taylor was turning him away for the third time of asking, he suffered an apoplectic fit.’
‘I haven’t any sympathy for him, I’m afraid.’
‘It seems that Mr Taylor has – he’s admitted him, knowing he hasn’t got long for this world and that he’s too far gone to be any trouble to Sister Trim and her nurses.’ The infirmary clock chimed – one, two …
‘That’s midday – you’re due your break. I’ll change Mercy and sit with her in the sunshine for a while.’ Exhausted, Hannah fell asleep on the balcony and it wasn’t until Sister Riley came to take Mercy from her that she woke.
‘I thought you were going to drop her then,’ she chuckled. ‘Come on, little one, it’s feeding time again. Can I get you anything?’
‘No, thank you.’ Hannah struggled to her feet. ‘I’m going home via the Lettsom.’
‘You’re going to check up on Nurse Huckstep and make sure she’s doing everything right. I would, if that was my ward. Good luck, Sister. I don’t envy you one little bit.’
As she stepped on to the Lettsom, Hannah sensed a change. Only a couple of weeks had gone by, but it seemed like a lifetime. The patients had changed – other boys had taken over Oliver’s and Ronald’s beds. Ben was still there – he waved from where he was sitting at the table, turning the pages of a picture book with one of the lady volunteers who studiously ignored her.
‘Hello, Sister Bentley,’ Ben called.
‘Hello,’ she said. ‘How are you?’
‘I have dots.’ He lifted his pyjama shirt and showed her the rash on his belly.
‘Oh dear,’ she said.
‘It’s time we put some more lotion on those,’ Nurse May said, walking across to him. ‘Come along. Good afternoon, Sister.’
‘I’ll let you get on,’ Hannah said, turning to see Alice trying to persuade one of the new patients to drink his medicine. Another boy was helping, perched on the edge of the bed.
‘Jim, you ’ave to ’old yer nose and swaller,’ he said, sounding like an old hand. ‘It’ll do yer the world o’ good.’
‘Since when have you been so keen on taking your medicine, Eric?’ Alice said, amused.
‘Pinch yer nose like this, then you can’t taste the stuff,’ the boy ordered.
The boy called Jim did as he was told. He opened his mouth and Alice administered the offending potion on a spoon. Having swallowed, the boy gagged and fell back against his pillow.
‘You’re a liar, Eric,’ he cried.
‘I’m not!’
‘Boys, not on my ward,’ Alice said, pulling the two boys apart as they rained fisticuffs on each other. ‘Eric, go and sit out on the balcony.’
‘It’s rainin’,’ he said, aghast.
‘It’ll cool your temper. Go on.’
Head down, Eric shuffled away. ‘As for you, Jim, you can sit here in silence. I don’t want to hear a word.’ She turned to Hannah, a smile on her face. ‘It won’t be long before I’ve knocked them into shape. Can I help you? Is it the baby? Is she all right?’
‘I came to wish you well,’ she said, regretting that she’d dropped by. It didn’t feel like her ward any more and she wasn’t sure if it ever would be again. ‘I should go.’ She turned on her heels and fled, feeling like a spare part.
On leaving the infirmary, she remembered to call at the clinic.
‘I’ve come to collect my wages,’ she said to Mrs Bellows.
‘Ah yes, Doctor Clifton has company. I’ll ask him to come down.’
‘Oh no. Please don’t bother him,’ she said, but Mrs Bellows was already on her way up the stairs. She returned shortly afterwards.
‘He says to go up and join them.’
‘Thank you.’ With some trepidation, Hannah went to find him, wondering if she was about to discover that he was keeping company with a lady.
‘Is that you, Sister?’ she heard him say from a room at the top of the first flight of stairs. ‘Do come in.’
She stepped inside a high-ceilinged room, decorated in deep reds and creams with leather chairs and a brass-faced longcase clock. The carpet was patterned and springy underfoot. Her surprise at its opulence was surpassed when she saw Charlotte, sitting drinking tea. She’d lost the ruddiness of her complexion and looked thinner than she remembered, but she was wearing the most beautiful tea dress made from ochre satin, trimmed with lace, with a bustle at the back and pleats along the front.
‘Greetings,’ James said, standing up. ‘Come and take the weight off your feet.’
‘It’s very kind, but I don’t like to intrude.’
‘Sit down,’ he insisted. ‘I’ll call for more tea.’
She accepted and took a seat beside the window. There were oils on the walls – too many to count and all in gold frames.
‘You are wondering about the paintings?’ he smiled.
She nodded.
‘I collect them, not so much as an investment, but because I like to look at them. Anyway, I’ll leave you two ladies to talk – I have a patient due at four. I’ll be back as soon as I’ve finished with them. Hannah, I hope you don’t mind waiting.’
‘Not at all.’ She hadn’t got anywhere else to go, except back to her lodgings. James left as his housekeeper came in with a fresh pot of tea. Charlotte offered to pour.
‘If you’re sure?’ the housekeeper said, leaving the tray on the low table which stood in the centre of the room.
‘I don’t think I’ve had the chance to say how sorry I am,’ Charlotte began, having handed Hannah a cup of tea. ‘It was a shame that I didn’t get to speak to you properly at the funeral. How is the baby? James says she’s doing better.’
‘I’ve been to the house to see her,’ Hannah said. ‘She’s a sweetheart.’
‘You’re going back to work on the Lettsom?’
‘Yes, once I’ve decided what to do about Mercy. Oh, Charlotte, I’m at a complete loss.’
‘It can’t be easy being on the horns of such a dilemma.’
‘I don’t know which way to turn.’
‘It would be a shame to have to give up nursing, but there’s a poor innocent child to consider. I’m sorry – I’m not helping, am I? ‘
‘I’m grateful for any advice you can offer,’ Hannah said. ‘Since Ruby … since she died, I’ve felt rather alone.’
‘James has been helping you?’
‘He’s gone out of his way …’
‘I wish I could do something, but Henry and I – well, that’s one of the reasons I’m here. I’ve had a consultation with Doctor Clifton. I’ve been very sick recently, barely able to keep anything down. He’s diagnosed me with hy-per-em-esis gra-vi-da-rum,’ she said speaking slowly. ‘I’m with child.’
‘Oh, that’s wonderful news.’
‘James says that I might lose the infant prematurely. He’s prescribed the seawater treatment and said that he’ll re-examine me in two months. You won’t mention this to anyone, will you?’
‘I won’t say a word. If you need anything, let me know.’
‘And vice versa. Look at us. How times have changed! Less than a year ago, we were Nurses Finch and Bentley with hardly a care in the world.’
‘Except for having to watch out for Trimmie,’ Hannah smiled. ‘How is married life?’
‘Apart from this terrible sickness, it’s been better than I could have imagined. Despite our differences, Henry is the best husband – he’s kind, considerate and loving. He’s helped me overcome my fear of not making the right impression in society, and I’m beginning to enjoy entertaining. Giving up nursing was the right choice for me.’ She smiled. ‘It still seems odd, though, getting out of bed every morning and choosing which dress to wear. As for those horrid flat shoes – I’ve given them away.’
‘I’m done,’ James said, entering the room with his stethoscope around his neck. ‘Hannah, if you’ll come with me. Mrs Hunter, will you excuse us for a moment?’
She followed him downstairs, where he showed her into one of the examination rooms and closed the door.
‘I hope you don’t mind – I wanted a quick word.’ He passed her an envelope. ‘These are your wages. If you’d like to work here again, let me know. I can always find you some hours. Henry’s list is lengthening far more quickly than I imagined it would. He’s very popular.’
‘He learned his bedside manner from you,’ Hannah dared to say, making him smile.
‘You’ve seen Mercy?’
‘I have. Nurse Huckstep mentioned that Doctor Hunter suspects that she has damage to the brain and liver.’
‘The immediate danger has passed, but she isn’t out of the woods yet. As for the hindrance to her development, we won’t know the extent of it for a long time. However, I recommend that you remove her from the house as soon as you’re able to.’
‘Why?’ Hannah began to panic. ‘I thought she’d have to stay on the ward for weeks, if not months.’
‘We’ve managed to stabilise her condition with the modified thalassotherapy treatment, but, being so young, she’s vulnerable to other diseases …’
‘Like scrofula?’
‘That’s right. Thanks to Dr Koch and his microscope, we’ve learned that the tuberculous conditions are infectious, not hereditary, or caused by foul air as the medical profession once thought.’
‘Then I’ll take her immediately,’ Hannah said.
‘Let me examine her once more on my rounds. If I’m happy, you can collect her tomorrow morning. I understand from Mrs Knowles that you’re taking another week off from the infirmary, so you can organise care for the child …’ He paused for a moment before continuing, ‘I’ll arrange for the wet nurse to continue her visits three times a day – I have your address. Is that all right with you?’
It had to be, she thought as she hurried back to her lodgings. She’d promised Ruby that she’d do the right thing by Mercy, and that’s what she intended to do.