part0039

TAKE YOUR TIME

“Be patient with yourself. Self-growth is tender; it’s holy ground. There’s no greater investment.” STEPHEN COVEY

We can fall into the trap of feeling that in order to do well we need to go, go, go. Our personal development often requires we move at a much slower and more deliberate pace. Our efforts to become more self-disciplined make us more aware of what we need to nurture and change. There’s no more need to worry that we’re moving too slowly because we realize that our pace, when we are fully invested, is exactly the right speed.

What is the fear that prevents you from feeling like you deserve to show up and to succeed? Typically, it’s the fear that pops up just when you’re about to embark on something new or different. It’s that fear that tells you to think, to be, or to act small.

We all struggle with these kinds of filler fears, so there’s no need to be embarrassed about having them. These fears prevent us from being more visible and from having more impact; use the prompts below to understand what your filler fear is so you can let it go:

Evaluate your responses to the prompts above and make a commitment to yourself that you will no longer let your fears be bigger than your aspirations.

If you have a long-standing habit of speaking critically about yourself or treating yourself harshly, acknowledge that. Every time you have the impulse to get mad at yourself or to judge yourself, recognize that, but see it as an indication of how much you care, not how bad you are. Then let the impulse to criticize yourself stop right there.

There is no need to drag yourself down in the name of motivating yourself to do better. We do better when we feel better. Stop tearing yourself down. Start building your confidence up by speaking kindly to yourself and treating yourself well.

You’re in the process of creating new options for yourself. Let yourself get really excited about this. Instead of spending all your energy building new habits, restore your enthusiasm by thinking of the energy you’ll have once you’ve arrived at your goal.

Imagine how powerful you will feel when you attain the goal you set. What is it about your intended goal that makes you excited?

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When we strive for perfection, we can set up unrealistic expectations for what we will do. These unrealistic expectations make it seem like we might never achieve a satisfactory outcome, no matter how much we care.

This struggle to achieve perfection often prevents us from making progress and wastes a lot of our time. One of the quickest ways to speed up your progress is to release yourself from the grip of perfectionism.

What is the next logical step to take toward completing your goal? Remember to make sure you’re setting realistic expectations for yourself.

In order to create meaningful change, we need to be willing to experience some messes and failures. We need to be able to tolerate other people’s messes and failures, too. Therefore, it’s time to get comfortable with the idea of not having total control.

Don’t worry, though—letting go of your inner control freak does not mean everything is going to fall apart. In fact, it’s just the opposite. Being able to accept when things go wrong will enable you to avoid getting stuck so you can continue moving forward. Stay committed to your goal and prioritize action over control.

If you slip up or miss a day or two of working on a habit, get right back into the swing of things after the slip. You can develop a process or routine of forgiving yourself after a slip, restating your intentions, and getting started again.

BONUS TIP: Using a tracking sheet can help prevent one small slip from causing you to feel overly frustrated or give up on your goal.

Design a tracking sheet now if you have not made one yet. Add a note at the top to remind yourself of what you’ll do if you should miss one or two days of the behavior you are tracking. Make sure you treat yourself with compassion during any period in which you experience a slip.

In our achievement-focused world, sometimes we forget that progress is meaningful and valuable, even when it is small. Nurture your ability to spot the growth and changes you’ve been making, not just in your work and habits, but also in your attitude and outlook.

Make working fun by celebrating every 1 percent improvement you make. This change in your outlook will create a lovely ripple effect that will help you see your gains more easily in the future.

Use your feelings as guides and clues for what to do instead of messages that indicate how “good” or “bad” you are. As you become more compassionate toward yourself, you will inevitably focus less on yourself and more on what you can make happen.

When we feel safe and secure about ourselves, we can use our feelings to think things through and make clear decisions. Our feelings can generate great energy for action instead of holding us back.

Think about how you can focus more on what your work needs and less on what you need to gain from doing the work. Write a list of your ideas for sharpening your focus here:

Know that you are inherently of worth and value. No test, project, or achievement could ever come close to reflecting your worth, so don’t make the mistake of thinking that anything can.

Begin every project with the firm belief that your worth is immense and safe from others’ judgment or evaluation. Your belief in yourself will permit you to be fully involved in doing good work.