I’m very grateful to the journals that first published these essays, sometimes in different forms: “The Art of Waiting” and “Baby Fever” appeared in Orion (“The Art of Waiting” was reprinted in Harper’s and the 2013 William Hazlitt Prize edition); “Imaginary Children” appeared in Ecotone; “Visible Life” appeared in Slate; and “The Whole House” appeared in the Sun.
Thanks to Katie Dublinski, my editor, for her vast patience and wisdom; to Maria Massie, my agent, for her encouragement and assistance; to Michael Taeckens, my publicist, for his talent and dedication; and to all of the wonderful people at Graywolf, especially Fiona McCrae, Marisa Atkinson, Erin Kottke, and Caroline Nitz. I feel so lucky to have my books published alongside Graywolf’s other titles.
Thank you to the North Carolina Arts Council and the National Endowment for the Arts for financial support while I worked on this book, and to the Durham Arts Council for support during my book tour. Thank you, also, to the institutions that gave me a home as I wrote—a temporary one at Lenoir-Rhyne University, where I was a visitor, and a more lasting one at North Carolina State University, where I teach now. I’m grateful to my many inspiring students and my brilliant colleagues, especially Rand Brandes at Lenoir-Rhyne, and Wilton Barnhardt, Jill McCorkle, John Kessel, Cat Warren, and Dorianne Laux at NCSU.
Thank you to my friends and fellow writers who helped and encouraged me with the manuscript: Meaghan Mulholland, Jon Mozes, Krista Bremer, Duncan Murrell, Dan Kois, Andrew Park, Jonathan Farmer, Catey Christiansen, Emily L. Smith, Anna Lena Phillips, Hannah Fries, Andrew Blechman, Michelle Latiolais, Margaret Zamos-Monteith, Sophie Shaw, Courtney Fitzpatrick, John Railey, David Potorti, and Banu Valladares. Thank you also to the caregivers who made it possible for me to teach and write after Bea was born, especially Buttons Boggs, Laura Denning, Sophie Shaw, Kaela Self, and Sylvia Grant.
And to the many people who agreed to be interviewed for this book: I am so grateful for your generosity, thoughtfulness, poise, and insight. Thank you to the scientists, doctors, and researchers who patiently answered questions and reviewed drafts, in particular Leslie Digby, Anna Rotkirch, Aaron Jesue, Marni Rosner, Stephen Young, and Silvia Ramos. Thank you to Dr. Young and Dr. Ramos for helping me not only with my book but with my life. And to RESOLVE, a vital source of support, information, and lasting friendships.
Thank you to my family for allowing me to represent parts of our life here—my endlessly supportive parents, Buttons and Terry Boggs, in particular.
And to Richard Allen: you are always my first and best reader. Thank you for the endless draft reads, discussions, and research help—this book would not exist without you.
And to Beatrice: the best person I know.