Chapter 43

Justice smiled and pretended to enjoy the frivolity, but he ached inside. He really should have skipped this one. He felt too raw from losing Holly.

They all filed outside. Large candelabras with flickering candles had been placed in a wide circle, and a long, dark brown silk runner led up to it. They all avoided stepping on it, as that had been laid down specifically for Sophia.

He took his place with the circle, all of them forming a U shape. Blake stood in the center of them, waiting for his mate-to-be.

Within the SR44 traditions, matings only took place during the full moon. The large, white globe hung in the cloudless sky just above the horizon, and a light breeze wafted through the air. He had to admit, it seemed to be a perfect night for a ceremony.

Sophia emerged from the silo dressed in a dark brown, floor-length silk sheath, her eyes glowing the same color as her dress. He had to grin at her simplistic beauty, and he heard Blake gasp, then whisper, “Holy shit.”

“Is that really all you can say about your mate-to-be?” Hudson asked through a smile.

“She’s hot,” Blake murmured. “And mine. Hot and mine.”

Hudson sighed. “You’re such a fucking Romeo.”

Sophia’s daughter, Megan, stepped in front of her mother dressed similarly to her. Killian also took his place in front of Sophia, wearing his little brown shirt, and the two walked down the aisle ahead of her, Megan throwing rose petals. Killian held a small pillow with a ring tied to it, and Justice smiled at how hard the little guy concentrated on it.

He liked that they’d combined elements of a traditional human wedding ceremony with a customary SR44 mating.

The kids reached the U shape of people and each stood on either side of Blake. Sophia entered. The spectators moved and formed a circle so that Blake and Sophia stood completely surrounded by their family and friends.

Justice listened as they exchanged vows while Hudson conducted the ceremony in their native tongue, as well as English. He spoke of love transcending time, of being kind to each other, of loving the best way they knew how. He went on to talk about souls emerging as one, and Justice tuned out.

He couldn’t take it.

His heart literally hurt at the words as he thought of Holly. He wanted to love her the best he could. As he glanced around the group, envy reared its ugly head. The females all stood with their mates, most with tears in their eyes as they clutched their male’s arms. He’d witnessed the love they shared as couples, and as a group. Didn’t he deserve that?

He looked at the crew of Rescue One. They watched the ceremony in a detached fashion, Kade actually looking a little fidgety. Most likely, they were all waiting to get juiced up at the after-party.

What if he threw it all on the line and told Holly everything? What if he came clean with her? What if he told her he had lied to her from the beginning, that he wasn’t from this world? What would be the worst thing that could happen? She could have him taken into custody and he’d be put away somewhere, probably studied by the government and he’d never see daylight again. It sounded like a miserable existence, but what he experienced now felt pretty awful as well. It seemed he fought to get through the day today, as if every step had become a heavy burden to him. He didn’t know how much more he could take before he finally let go and fell into the same state as Titus.

His options seemed bleak. Tell Holly and risk being taken by the government, possibly tortured, and certainly having experiments ran on him … or, not take the chance and become a shell of a male?

Then, if he did find Holly, he’d be going directly against Noah’s orders. The fact that he had to take orders from the male rankled him to no end. He’d been the one in charge for so long; it had become difficult to step aside and allow Noah to do the leading, especially with his crew, and even more so because he outranked Noah on SR44.

He constantly had to remind himself that on Earth, he had become a nobody. He had no ranking, no permanent home, no one to share his life with. He couldn’t spend the rest of his days sleeping on a cot in the damn gym.

“This concludes the mating ceremony. I wish both of you happiness, light, and love,” Hudson said.

Blake leaned over and passionately kissed Sophia for a very long time. It almost seemed obscene, and finally, Noah nudged him.

Justice and some of the others stepped to the side, allowing Blake and Sophia to lead the way back into the silo. Having spent some time in the kitchen talking with Hudson today, he knew the food would be absolutely amazing, yet he didn’t feel any hunger.

Well, he actually hungered for one thing … or one person.

He’d only been without her for about a week, and he was done. Taking a deep breath as he filed into the silo, he made a decision. He’d rather live out his life as a science experiment than not take the chance of being with Holly.

And fuck Noah.

He would do what he wanted, and he didn’t care who became angry with him.

As the party exploded into full swing, someone started some music, and Hudson and Beverly flitted around the kitchen preparing to serve dinner. Kade stood at the bar laughing with Axel and Rayner. He recalled Blake telling him that Kade had done some computer work, but frankly, he hadn’t paid much attention to anything all week long. However, if anyone could help him, it would be Kade.

He sided up to him. “I need your help on the computer.”

“Sure thing,” Kade said, not moving.

“Now, Kade. It can’t wait.”

With so many people, the loud music, and the bustling about, he doubted anyone would miss them for a few minutes.

Kade excused himself and followed Justice down the hall. They entered the War Room, and Justice immediately walked over to the computers.

“What’s up?” Kade asked, sitting down in front of the screens.

“I need to find Holly.”