Foreword

When Lori first told me she was going to write this book about Anthony, “Ant” I call him, I didn’t know what to think. The more I thought about it, the more excited I became.   Why not make his life into a book so people could understand how hard it is to lose someone, especially a child.

I grew up in the same neighborhood as Anthony.  Because I was in a relationship with one of Anthony’s best friends, it was awkward with us being so close. But for whatever reason we became inseparable, we were best friends.  Every morning I would wake up early, take a shower, walk up the shortcut to his house, climb through his window and lay in the bed with him until his mom made him get up and get ready for school.  Then we would walk to the bus stop and get on the bus together.

Anthony and I were inseparable until my mother put a stop to us hanging out together. My mom thought that I was using Anthony to see his best friend, someone my mother did not want me in a relationship with, so she no longer allowed me to be friends with Anthony. Unbeknownst to my mom, that only happened on two occasions that I recall. All the other times I was really just hanging out with Anthony, just him and me.

In 2005, I took a trip to Washington DC and while I was there my mom passed away.  I needed someone to talk to so I called Ant. In some weird way it just helped, I don’t think he ever knew it.

The first thing that comes to mind when I think of Ant is his smile. Those who knew him well knew that he really wasn’t one to walk around with a smile on his face all the time (unless he was up to something) – which was often.

As this book unfolds you will learn about Anthony’s life and how his death affected many who loved him. Anthony was a protector. I don’t know many people who would try and pick a fight with him. As mean as he appeared to be, he could be as gentle as a teddy bear.

This book explains how making bad choices can just take your life away. The choices we make affect the rest of our lives, whether it be in that instance, the next week, the next two years, or ten years from now; it affects us in some shape or form.

The one regret that I’ll carry with me forever is not telling Anthony yes when he asked me to be with him. As you will soon find out, Anthony asked me to be with him and I kindly refused.  As bad as I didn’t want to, it was exactly what I wanted, I was just scared. At the time I was dating some “guy” that I had no business being with. Ant offered the world to me with what little he had, which was nothing but dreams to go off of. Anthony went back to Florida because of me.   If I would have told him yes he never would have gone back, at least not alone, and those were his words. We might not have gotten married or even stayed together, but what happened to him wouldn’t have happened the way it did.

I’ll never forget making that twelve hour drive all the way to the Leesburg hospital to see Anthony in a coma. I’ve seen my mother, father, grandmother, and several other close people on their death bed (in a hospital), but none of that compares to what I felt when I saw Anthony, this huge beast in a helpless vegetable state of mind. It ripped my heart in half and I was changed forever. 

I am now happily married and couldn’t have a better man whom I know Anthony would be very proud of. I, myself, have much experience with loss, but to lose someone who meant so much to me at such a young age is just life altering.

Carrie Rose