Chapter II – My Pregnancy
The day I was going to tell Tommy I was pregnant, we got into a fight. I had given him my class ring to wear so I told him I was coming to his apartment to get it back. While I was there we fought even more and on my way out the door, I said, “Oh by the way, I may be pregnant.” His reply was, “Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.” Wow, you would think he would’ve had a little more concern than that but he didn’t. Shortly afterwards he moved back to Newport. Thank goodness this man was out of my life for good.
The day after Tommy and I broke up I took a home pregnancy test to see if I really was pregnant, the results came back positive. A co-worker of mine named Suzie told me she wasn’t sure how accurate the home pregnancy tests were. So she talked me into going to the local Health Department to take another test which also came back positive.
I didn’t want my parents knowing I was going to have a baby so I decided to secretly start going to the Health Department for check-ups. Since the Health Department Suzie took me to was a long way from my house, I decided to start going to one closer. My first day there they gave me yet another pregnancy test which also came back positive. There was no doubt at this point, I was definitely pregnant.
Even though I was excited about the pregnancy, I was afraid to tell my parents. At this time, I was living with my parents and in the process of moving out. I had already found a place to live and had bought my furniture as well as a washer and dryer. Getting pregnant was a major setback in my life so instead of moving out at the age of twenty-one, I knew it would be several more years before I could get a place of my own. Even though it would be a while before I could live on my own, I was very excited about being pregnant. I had wanted a baby ever since I was fourteen years old and now I was going to have one.
During my third month of pregnancy I was very ashamed of being pregnant and not being married. I still hadn’t told my parents about my pregnancy and I wasn’t showing at all so they couldn’t tell I was pregnant by looking at me. One day a couple of friends and I drove from Jackson to Memphis, TN to Liberty Land (an amusement park) to spend the day. While we were there I did something I never should’ve done, I rode the rollercoaster that turned upside down. I knew I wasn’t supposed to ride the roller coaster if I was pregnant because there was a possibility it could cause me to lose my baby. If I lost the baby I wouldn’t have to tell my parents I was pregnant and life would go on as normal. Well, the good Lord had a different plan in mind for my baby, thank you Lord for sparing my son’s life. If he’d died that day, I never would’ve gotten to know him.
When I was four months along I decided to tell my mother I was pregnant. She took the news very well and told me she was impressed I had been going to the doctor on my own. However, a few days later she decided she wanted me to see a doctor in Newport who was a friend of hers, Dr. Reynolds. The reason she wanted me to see Dr. Reynolds was because she wanted to make sure I was pregnant and she trusted him. I explained to her I had already taken three pregnancy tests which came back positive so there was no doubt, I was definitely pregnant. She insisted I see Dr. Reynolds so we drove all the way from Jackson, MS to Newport, AR to get a fourth pregnancy test. Guess what??? The results were the same, go figure.
Over the next few weeks mother started acting funny, she was ashamed I was pregnant and not married. I wasn’t allowed to go to the mailbox and get the mail because she was afraid the neighbors would realize I was pregnant. One day my baby got the hiccups and I was excited so I called mother at work to share that experience with her. She told me she was at work and we weren’t to discuss that while she was at work. My heart was broken because this was a very special moment for me and I wanted to share it with my mother. I then realized this was going to be a long hard journey and I was going to have to take it alone.
Then the night came she called me in the bathroom to tell me she couldn’t handle the fact I was pregnant and not married. In fact she told me she was taking it so hard she had to take tranquilizers to deal with it. She then gave me an ultimatum, she told me I could get rid of the baby and continue to live in their house or I could keep the baby and move out. My mouth fell to the floor because I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I told her for me it wasn’t an option and I would start looking for somewhere else to live immediately. You have to understand, my mother came from a different generation and it was unheard of to be pregnant and not married.
In December of 1986 we went to Wynne, AR for Christmas, I was now five months pregnant. Before we left the house, mother told me I wasn’t to tell anyone I was pregnant because she didn’t want me ruining their Christmas. I was very shocked when she told me this but I agreed not to tell anyone.
Once we got to Aunt Nellie’s (mother’s older sister) house everything was going well until I opened a gift from Aunt Georgia (mother’s baby sister) which was a sexy shorty pajama set. When I saw it tears filled my eyes because I knew very soon I would be too big to wear it. I went to the bathroom in hopes no one would see me cry. Aunt Georgia realized something was wrong and she followed me.
While we were in the bathroom I told her what was going on and she told me there was no way I was going to give this baby up for adoption or abort it. She assured me even if I had to live with her in West Memphis, AR everything would be fine. She also asked me if I wanted her to tell the rest of the family. I told her mother didn’t want me to ruin everyone’s Christmas but if she wanted to she could tell them after we left. She promised me she would wait until we were gone before telling the others and then we walked out of the bathroom together. As I opened the bathroom door I saw mother standing in the hallway outside the bathroom. I just looked at her, she looked at me and without a word being exchanged she knew I had told Aunt Georgia I was pregnant.
By the time we got home Nannaw (my mother’s mother), Aunt Georgia, and Aunt Nellie had called our house and left messages on our answering machine. They told me they still loved me and everything would be alright.
When I was six months pregnant we went to Wynne to visit Granny (my father’s mother). She told me Kim, my first cousin on my father’s side of the family, who is two years older than I am, was pregnant as well. I was so excited because this meant I wasn’t the only person in the family that was pregnant and not married. I called Kim and when I spoke with her we discovered we were due at the same time, how exciting!!!
Once mother realized the family wasn’t going to shun me she became more open to the situation. Not only that, but my mother started telling me how easy having a natural child birth would be. She told me not to be afraid of the pain. She explained every time I felt a pain the baby was moving down and my cervix was opening a little more.
It was during my sixth month of pregnancy I decided to take Lamaze classes. When I was a senior in High School I took a class called Health Occupations and our teacher, Mrs. Montgomery, encouraged us to have a natural child birth if at all possible.
There was one problem with taking Lamaze classes, I didn’t have a coach. I was talking to Suzie at work one day when Mike, our butcher, overheard our conversation and told me his wife Stephanie would love to be my Lamaze coach. He volunteered her without consulting with her first so I told him if she agreed to it I would love to have her. When he asked Stephanie she was very excited about coaching me.
Once the class became available Stephanie and I enrolled, we learned a lot from the class. I had made the decision to have a natural child birth and now I knew what I should do during each contraction to manage the pain. I was ready for this baby to get here, I was starting to get more and more excited about his arrival.
During my seventh month of pregnancy, mother suggested we start walking three miles a day to help me get in shape to make my labor and delivery easier. We both needed this time together in order to talk about the months ahead and how our lives would change. She would also remind me when I was in labor to concentrate on my breathing and not the pain because the pain was just the baby moving down and my cervix opening more. Because of the walks we took we became closer. I am so glad she finally accepted my situation because I needed my mother there for me during this time. I needed someone I could share my excitement with.
When I was seven months pregnant, no one could tell I was expecting. My pregnancy was almost over and I was still in my normal clothes. I wanted to wear maternity clothes because that is part of the experience of being pregnant. I knew if I didn’t buy some soon I would never be able to wear them. Even though I wasn’t showing, I made the decision to go buy some maternity clothes and guess what? They swallowed me whole.
During my eighth month of pregnancy, mother told me I was covered on my father’s insurance and I should start seeing a regular doctor especially since I was in my last two months of pregnancy. I started seeing Dr. Sutherland in Jackson shortly afterwards, I only made three visits to him before giving birth.
On April 30, 1987, I turned twenty-one years old and three days later on May 3, 1987, my son was born.