Chapter III – Anthony’s Birth
On May 2, 1987 mother and I went for our nightly walk but I wasn’t able to get two blocks before we had to turn around and go home. I wasn’t really sure why but I was unable to walk any further due to a pressure between my legs. It felt like my insides were coming out but there was no pain so I wasn’t concerned. I told her we would have to try again Tomorrow night and I was very sorry. She said she understood and that was fine.
When I went to bed that evening everything was fine but around 1:00 a.m. I got up to use the restroom and when I wiped there was blood. They had taught us in Lamaze class this was called a bloody show and meant you were in labor. I very calmly went to my parent’s room where mother was sleeping, woke her up and explained to her what was going on. Daddy worked off shore and he was gone during this time so she was the only one there to help me. Mother called the hospital because to her this wasn’t normal. She asked the nurse if it was normal for me to be bleeding, the nurse told her, “No.” Then she asked the nurse what we should do, the nurse told her it was up to her. When she got off the phone she was very confused and frustrated because she wasn’t sure what we should do. I got tickled at her and explained to her this was normal, I was in labor and we needed to go to the hospital.
My younger sister, Angie, was sixteen years old at the time and since it was so early in the morning we left her at home asleep. Mother had to be back at the house by 6:00 a.m. because the youth group at church was having a pancake sale and Angie had to be there.
When we arrived at the hospital they insisted on putting me in a wheelchair even though I was in no pain at all. They wheeled me to a room, put me in a bed, and hooked me up to a monitor. A few minutes later the nurse asked me if I was feeling okay and I told her I was fine. She said, “Are you sure you are okay?” and again I said, “I am fine, why?” She said, “Well you are having contractions every ten minutes and you don’t seem to be feeling anything.” I said, “I’m having contractions every ten minutes!!!?” She said, “Yes you are. You must have a high tolerance to pain if you can’t feel them.” I said, “Yes, I do have a high tolerance to pain but you would think I could feel something.” We both just kind of laughed and she told me she would continue to monitor me and if I needed anything to let her know.
After the nurse left the room mother asked me if she should call Stephanie and let her know we were at the hospital. I told her since it was 2:00 a.m. to let Stephanie sleep and we would call her later on in the morning. Mother reminded me she would have to be home by 6:00 a.m. and she would call Stephanie as she was leaving, I agreed that would be fine.
From 2:00 a.m. until 6:00 a.m. I lay in the bed and mother sat in a chair, each of us saying very little because mother would doze off and on and I was watching T.V. As the contractions got closer I started feeling a little pressure but nothing intense and the nurse was still amazed I was not complaining from the pain. At one point the nurse came in my room and told me there was a lady down the hall from me that was barely dilated, screaming at the top of her lungs in pain, and acting like a fool. About that time the lady started screaming, the nurse looked at me and said, “See what I mean?” We both just laughed and again she said if you need anything just let me know.
When 6:00 a.m. rolled around mother told me she needed to go home to get Angie, she would call Stephanie, and she would be back in a little while. Once mother left the room, I rolled over on my side and started thinking, “My entire life is about to change. I’ve never had to take care of anyone in my life and now I am going to have someone depending on me for his every breath.” I started getting scared, very scared and wishing I’d never done this because I had no idea how to take care of a baby. What if I failed? I am still a baby myself even though three days ago I turned twenty-one. What was I thinking when I got pregnant?” Tears started rolling down the side of my face because of the fear of having someone depend on me and the possibility of failing. They only lasted a minute before the reality of having someone to hold and love unconditionally kicked in and I was very excited to be having this baby.
A little before 8:00 a.m., mother arrived back at the hospital, when she walked in my room she asked me where Stephanie was. I told her I had not heard from Stephanie and my contractions were now three minutes apart so if she wanted to be there for the birth of this baby she needed to get there very soon.
The next thing mother said shocked me, she said, “I want to go in the delivery room with you I want to see my grandson being born.” I didn’t know what to tell her because Stephanie had gone to the Lamaze classes with me and knew what to do as a coach and mother didn’t.
No sooner had mother gotten those words out of her mouth Stephanie came in the room, I was relieved because now I knew Stephanie would be in the room with me. Not that I didn’t want my mother in the room, who wouldn’t want their mother to be there for the birth of their grandchild, but I knew Stephanie knew how to keep me focused.
My contractions were now two minutes apart, I was beginning to feel a little uncomfortable so I knew it wouldn’t be long now. I thought it was settled, Stephanie would go to the delivery room with me, but mother told her she wanted to go instead. Stephanie asked me what I wanted them to do. I didn’t want to answer that question and luckily for me Dr. Southerland came in the room and started prepping me.
As he got me prepped he said, “He is crowning!!! The baby is crowning!!!! We’ve got to get her across the hall before she has this baby in here!!!” I didn’t see what the big deal was but evidentially it was a big deal. I remember my mother and Stephanie looking down when Dr. Southerland said, “He is crowning”. They were both standing there with their mouths open.
The next thing I knew they were wheeling me across the hall with my legs up in stirrups. I was exposed to the world, nothing to hide from anyone anymore. If they’d never seen a vagina before they were seeing one now!!! They got me in the delivery room and Stephanie was at my side. I guess she and mother made the decision that she would be my coach. At that point I didn’t care because evidentially I was having a baby with or without them.
Dr. Southerland got to the end of the table and said, “Okay, push” I pushed and I felt his head come out. I remember thinking, “That was easy” Then he again said, “Push” so I pushed again. Boy was I wrong about thinking that was easy. His shoulders were the next thing to come out and let me tell you, the boy had some broad shoulders, I am not going to lie, that part hurt.
Next Dr. Southerland grabbed the baby and pulled him out the rest of the way. I remember feeling this arm and legs coming out (for those of you that are considering having a natural child birth I highly recommend it. There is no feeling like feeling your baby’s head, shoulders, arms, and feet come out of you, it is an awesome experience and something you will never forget). Then he lifted my baby up, turned him upside down, spanked him so he would cry and said, “It’s a boy, you have a healthy baby boy.” So on May 3, 1987 at 8:34 a.m. I gave birth to an 8lb 2oz 21 ½” baby boy named Charles Anthony Crabtree.
Within two minutes of going into the labor and delivery room they wheeled me down the hall to the recovery room. As we were going down the hall I looked over and saw my mother standing beside me and she said, “What happened!? Is something wrong!? Why are you leaving the labor and delivery room!?” I looked at her and said, “I had a baby boy and he is just fine.” Then kind of surprised my mother said, “Wow that was fast, that was the fastest birth I’ve ever seen.”
Once I got in the recovery room they brought me my baby, I looked at him, looked at my mother, and said, “They brought me the wrong baby. This baby has jet black curly hair and is gray. This baby is black.” My mother looked at the baby and looked at me and just started laughing, she said, “Lori, that is your baby, they brought you the right baby.” I still was not convinced the baby they handed me was white but I took her word for it.
As I mentioned before, my father was working offshore so he was not there for the birth of my son. Let me give you a little background on my father, you see, being a man, my father always wanted a son but instead, my parents had two girls. They adopted me when I was four months old and when I was five years old they had my sister. So needless to say, my father was hoping for a grandson. So when I picked up the phone to call my father I took a deep breath, fought back the tears, and when he answered the phone I said, “Daddy, I had a baby boy! You have the grandson you always wanted! Not only that but I named him Charles Anthony Crabtree after you.” Even though I could not see him, I could hear the pride in my father’s voice, not only did he have a grandson but his grandson was named after him.
The following day, Dr. Southerland came in the room, examined me and nonchalantly asked me if I would like to go home. My mouth dropped and I jokingly said, “Sure, you are kidding right.” He said, “No, I am serious. If you want to you can go home. You have a young healthy body and you are healing fine so if you want to go home you can.” I didn’t even hesitate to pack my things and go home. I couldn’t believe the day after I had a baby I was going home.
After dropping me off at home, mother left the house to run some errands. When she came back she had a blue bucket with a red bear in it that said, “I love you” and a balloon. I asked her what that was for and she said, “This is for my grandson.” From that day forward Anthony was my mother’s pride and joy. I am so glad she accepted him in her life. After all we had been through, things were going to be okay now.
On May 6, 1987, three days after Anthony was born, my father came home from working offshore. I will never forget, he walked in the door, walked straight over to my son, his grandson, picked him up and the love in my father’s eyes is indescribable. It brought tears to my eyes to see how my father loved that baby boy and from that day on, my son could do no wrong in my father’s eyes.
Later on that day we got a phone call telling us Kim had given birth to a baby girl and named her Lauren. Little did we know at the time but Lauren and Anthony would be very close growing up.