Chapter 20

Mom hugs me first, followed by Dad, streaking them in chalk. With the women’s competition over, the organizers invited us all out of isolation to enjoy the rest of the competition with our family and friends. I’ve lost sight of Eleni and Justice in the crowd, but I’m sure they’ve found their families as I did. How cool it would have been to watch them climb. I’m so glad the event is being filmed. I’m eager to watch their rounds when this is all over.

“You did so well, honey.” Dad squeezes me tight as I wedge in between them on the mats. Spectators are seated all around. Some have brought lawn chairs, while others sit on the mats like we are. It’s so crowded, I'm amazed that I wasn’t more panicked while out there. Did that truly happen just moments ago?

The men’s rounds go much like the women’s except their boulders are entirely different. This series of climbs tests their strength and flexibility in a different way. Men fling themselves from various holds, some falling, some clutching on with pure brawn. It’s thrilling to watch. Knowing what it’s like to be out there with my back to a massive crowd, I cheer each person on. This racket is a beautiful chaos that makes all the difference in the world. Chalk flies as a man pounds his hands together. He leaps up for a hold, making it by the brute strength of his arms and shoulders alone. The crowd loses it and I’m cheering right along with my parents. I’m pretty sure my mom just whistled for the first time in her entire life.

I squeeze both their hands, watching in nervous excitement. I’m so grateful for their presence. My heart is so full it might burst.

When it’s all over—when the last climber has fallen to the mats and the final set of hands reaches the top of the final boulder—we all breathe a sigh of relief. Murmurs rise as the emcee stands with his mic, announcing that the judges need to deliberate briefly. “We’ll have the awards ceremony in fifteen minutes!”

With the break in activity, I’m finally able to turn to my parents. “Thank you so much for coming.”

“We’re so proud of you.” Dad hands me a fresh water bottle. “Was it scary up there?”

“Terrifying. I just tried to block it out, but it was hard.”

“I’m so impressed,” Mom says. “I couldn’t believe that you knew how to do some of those moves. And when you fell. . .” She puts a hand over her mouth.

“Falling can be pretty scary. It’s taken a lot of practice. And honestly, there are so many skills left to work on.” But that just means I’ll have plenty to look forward to. “Did you see the other women in my category? Weren’t they great?”

Mom consults her program, touching the neon paper beside the names Eleni and Justice. “They were amazing. I’m so impressed with all of you.”

“That young girl was something else,” Dad says with a shake of his head. “So small but so determined.”

“She’s great to watch.” After I down the dregs of the water bottle, Dad asks if I’m hungry.

“Starving.”

He rises, promising to return with tacos and sodas.

“And the woman with the scarf,” Mom says in his wake. “She was so calm and composed. I felt like I was holding my breath the entire time.”

“Yes! That’s Eleni. She’s so rhythmic. She’s been such an encouragement to me.”

“And then there’s you.” Mom’s eyes are bright. “You had an incredible sense of composure. Even when it seemed like there was a section that might defeat you, we all watched as you pressed through and came out on top. I don’t know how you did it. I’m sorry I wasn’t as supportive as I should have been at the beginning. I really am proud of you.” She squeezes my hand. “Of all the people we saw today, you displayed so much peace.”

Truly?

“We are so proud.”

My eyes sting again. “Thanks, Mom.”

She pulls me in for another hug, smelling like perfume against my sweat and chalk.

With my face pressed against her shoulder, I so want to speak, but she’s already said everything. I didn’t think my heart could be any more full, but it is.

“And, honey?”

I lean back to see her teary gaze.

“I loved the chapters.”

“Oh!” I’d forgotten all about that in the hustle and bustle of the week.

“They were phenomenal.” She pushes a bit of hair behind my ear like she used to. “But I have one idea.”

“Ready.”

“I think the title isn’t quite right. I don’t think it should be Single Sadie.”

“No?”

She shakes her head. “I think it should be something even more open-ended. I think it should be Suddenly Sadie. Because you’re more than just single. You’re you. And from what I can see of you lately, you’re finding peace and confidence in a wholly new way.”

It’s too hard to answer with a throat this tight with tears. In two words, she’s wrapped up this whole crazy journey I’ve been on. The past month, and the years before, I was wandering, lost, and frustrated, then suddenly . . . puzzle pieces edged closer together. I started to recognize what it was that mattered. Where and how I wanted to spend my time. And it wasn’t the purpose or dreams I’d spent the last decade praying for.

“Mom . . . that sounds perfect. Thank you.” I squeeze her tight. “Suddenly Sadie it is.”

The judges take time to deliberate scores. As I sit beside my parents, the floor of the gym is buzzing with murmurs and conversations as people eat and socialize. Finally, the judges come to the center of the room and wave for silence. They announce the kids’ awards first, giving a certificate to all the children who competed in the youth categories. The podium comes next, where they give out medals to the top three children. One judge slides the blue ribbons over their heads. The kids wave to their families who snap photos. One little girl with missing front teeth holds her certificate overhead while proud parents kneel close to catch a picture.

I cheer along with everyone else, hoping one day to bring Sammy here.

The emcee moves to the other side of the stage, indicating where the adult winners are about to stand. This is the part I’ve been kind of dreading. This is where Justice, Eleni, and I will be divided up by rank. Unlike the other categories, each of us will actually receive a medal since only three women competed in the beginner category. That makes it easier to face. As for me, my reward has been the experience. That alone is the finest medal I could ever obtain.

Justice’s name is called first as the winner of bronze in the V1-V2 category. She bounds from the crowd onto the mats beside the judges, beaming to have gotten third place. My name is called next—a silver for Sadie?! I join Justice and we hug. The score board shows that of the three boulders, we both got two tops and one zone. The only difference is that I completed the final boulder in six attempts, whereas she gave it nine. There’s such a minuscule difference separating us that I feel better. We could easily have both won silver. Eleni looks shocked to realize she’s won gold. Her husband has his camera out, filming her wide brown eyes and parted mouth. The judges call her name through the microphone. Eleni rises and takes the podium between us. The judges offer each of us our medal, as well as stylish new chalk bags with the gym’s logo.

I watch in awe as Justice angles to receive her medal. The bronze medallion shimmers against her purple sports top. I duck my head and the blue ribbon slides against my neck. The silver medal is heavier than I expected. I touch the smooth surface. How is this real? Eleni accepts hers next and the crowd applauds. Eleni turns and embraces us both. It’s a group hug filled with laughter and growth. I couldn’t ask for any better gift. They announce the men’s winners next, and then the competition draws to an official close.

Justice’s mom finds me next and insists we all move in close for a photo.

“Let’s see your medals!” she calls, and we all hold them up.

Overhead, the air conditioner kicks on again in a whoosh. Justice is grinning from ear to ear and we are too. When we’re finished, I hug Justice once more and her mother slips me a letter along with a surprise hug, before they head off. I bid farewell to Eleni and her family as well, then tell my parents I’m going to gather up my stuff from isolation.

As I walk back to the space that’s now quiet and nearly empty, I soak in the smells of this place. Of rubber, wood, and resin climbing holds. The dusty scent of chalk. How I love the essence of all of it. I gather up my gear, change back into my sneakers, and head for the front desk. There, Cassidy slides me my phone along with a high five.

“Thank you!” I call as I go to search for my family again.

I find them near the cubbies. Late afternoon sun streams in through the windows, glowing across the dust streaking the air. Mom is looking around at the gym while Dad discusses the engineering side of route building with one of the employees.

“So now we’ve seen the place where you come so often.”

“Is it different from what you expected?” I ask.

“Secretly, I was hoping you’d be tied into a rope.”

Taking her hand, I pat it. “Don’t worry. The mats are super padded.”

“You must be exhausted.”

“So exhausted. But I’m so grateful you and Dad came. Thank you for being here.”

“It was a blast. I hope we get to do it again.”

I laugh, hardly able to contemplate the idea of a repeat, but hey—one never knows!

Britt edges through the crowd and I see her sunny face just moments before she wraps me in a hug, nearly knocking us both over. “You were amazing,” she whispers.

I squeeze her tight before pulling back. “I love that you came!” Just past her shoulder stands Daniel, wearing a friendly smile.

We shake hands, and though I’ve met him before, this feels different. Now a new connection has formed between him and Britt. This process for the two of them will be uniquely theirs and I’m just grateful to be a support person in Britt’s life along the way. I barely knew her before we went to the singles group. It’s been an experience that has brought us closer and may change again. But right now, I’m grateful for the times I’ve gotten to laugh and even cry with her.

I introduce everyone and we all agree that some ice cream is in order. My parents ask me to ride along with them, and I call for Britt and Daniel to meet us there.

That tiny twinge rises. The one where I’m flying solo, but I push it aside. It’s a natural ebb and flow to this life as a single woman. I only want to focus on what today holds, and tomorrow it will be something new.

“So, what’s in the envelope?” Mom asks as we walk out to the parking lot.

I’d forgotten all about the envelope that Justice’s mom gave me. I tug it from the side pouch of my bag then open the letter, thankful that it’s ten minutes until the ice cream parlor. Just enough time to unearth what’s inside. After climbing in and buckling, I unfold the single sheet of yellow paper.

Sadie,

Thanks doesn’t seem to be enough to say how you’ve encouraged my daughter. It may seem small to you, but Justice was so nervous about the competition. She was so nervous about even going to the gym for the very first time but wanted to try it. She was actually talking about giving up and cancelling on the same day that we bumped into you. The way you made the experience more fun and less stressful really helped her come out of her shell. She talks about you all the time and since she’s shy, I want to be the one to tell you right now that you’ve made a big difference for my daughter. More than you could ever know.

Tears blur sight of the page and I swipe at them. With sunset spilling in through the window, I lean a tired head against the glass and study the medal in my lap. The silver glints in the pinkish light. It’s about the same size as my cellphone screen that once lit up with texts from interested men who didn’t really care to know the real me. But this glimmer is different. It’s a reminder that those moments brought me here . . . all of them. Even the hard and the broken days were part of this winding journey. The medal in my hand is so much more than the miracle of second place. It’s a beautiful reminder that newness sometimes lies just around the bend, and that victories just might come in unexpected ways.