Me aunt Cissy is over from England. She says she’s gettin married! She bought me a lovely pair of white kid-leather boots wit laces in them – I can smell the kid leather when I press them te me nose – an a gorgeous white linen frock. I’m te wear them fer her weddin, but she seems a bit upset wit the ma.
‘How long has this been goin on, Sally?’
‘Ah, I’m not bothered about him any more,’ me ma says.
‘Here, Martha love,’ says me aunt Cissy. ‘There’s a bun fer you. You go on outside an sit in the sunshine, an I’ll keep an eye out fer you. Now don’t go too far, I’ll be watchin ye from the winda.’
I wanted te be very good fer me aunt Cissy, so I didn’t gallop across the road, cos me ma says I’ll get kilt doin tha, even though I think ye’ll get kilt if ye don’t run. Anyway, I sit meself down an stretch me legs out te get comfortable, an Cissy is sittin on the windasill, watchin me an drinkin a cup a tea.
I look te examine me bun. Wha’s these black things in it? I take a bite an spit it out. Yuk! I can’t eat tha!
‘Ah, eat yer bun, it’s good fer ye!’ Cissy shouts across. ‘Them currants will clean ye out!’
I put the bun behind me back an started te pull the currants out, watchin her at the same time. I couldn’t move, cos I had a pile of currants behind me.
Suddenly, there’s great excitement when a horse an cab comes aroun the corner carryin me aunt Biddy an me aunt Nelly an me cousin Barney. The women are roarin an laughin at somethin the jarvey said te them.
‘Whoa there, Jinny! Easy girl. Now, ladies, who’s first?’
‘She is.’ Biddy points te Nelly, laughin. ‘She’s the desperate one. I’m already landed wit me own fella back in England.’
‘Ah, no. I’m very particular,’ Nelly says. ‘Ye’d have te have plenty a money te get me.’
‘Right, girls! Hop down, an I’ll give ye’s a hand up wit the suitcases.’
I ran across the road, an Biddy swooped me up.
‘Lookit you, ye got very big since I saw ye last.’
‘Yeah, Auntie Biddy! I’m four now, so I am.’
I looked at me cousin, an he was wearin eyeglasses.
‘Look! Lookit, Martha,’ Barney said, an he showed me a load a money. ‘Come on, I’ll buy ye somethin,’ an we bought ice-cream cornets, an broken biscuits wrapped in paper, an bull’s eye sweets.
They opened up the back room, an me an me ma slept in there. Tha night me an me cousin Barney took it in turns te vomit up our guts inta the bucket. Our mas laughed an said it was all the sweets we’d eaten, an tomorrow they’d get us a wormin powder te clean us out.
We went te the park beside St Audoen’s Church an sat in the grass. Me ma an Dickser made plans te go te England.
‘I’m savin every penny I can get me hands on,’ me ma said.
‘How much have ye now?’ Dickser asked, an me ma told him.
‘That’ll do,’ he said. He seemed very happy an even grinned at me, but I turned me head. I didn’t want anythin te do wit him.
They arranged te meet tha night, an the ma would give him her money. She was all excited on the way home. ‘We’re goin te England, Martha! An Dickser’s goin te find us a place te live. We’ll be grand!’ I was delighted te see her so happy an forgot about Dickser.
When we got home, the aunts were waitin.
‘Where were you?’ asked Biddy.
‘Out!’ me ma said.
‘Look at the condition you’re in, ye should be ashamed of yourself. You’re seein tha Dickser fella, aren’t ye?’
‘No, I’m not.’
‘Ye are! I’m tellin ye’s all. She should be put away. Ye’re bringin shame on this family an destroyin our good name!’
Cissy came over te me an asked me gently, ‘Is she seein Dickser?’
Biddy joined in an shouted, ‘Look! Here’s a penny, tell us the truth, an we’ll give you this.’ An Nelly waved a half-crown in me face.
The ma shouted, ‘No! Don’t tell them anythin, Martha,’ an they were all shoutin at once. Me eyes swivelled from the penny te the half-crown an back again. I wanted the money.
‘Yeah, she is,’ I said, an reached out fer the money.
‘No! No! Don’t tell them anythin.’
‘No, she isn’t.’
The money was whipped back, an there was some more shoutin.
‘Yes, she is!’ I said, reachin out fer the money, but they put it back in their pockets!
The hooley was goin on upstairs. Old Mrs Coleman had died; she lived in the room above us wit her grandson Neddy. We heard the bang on the ceilin, an me ma shouted te Nelly, ‘It’s Mrs Coleman, quick! We’d better run up, there’s somethin wrong.’
Neddy came runnin down the stairs, an he was white as a sheet. ‘Me granny collapsed when she was tyin her boots te get ready fer Mass. Come up quick!’
‘You stay there,’ me ma said te me. An they ran up the stairs, leavin me behind wonderin wha was goin on.
Now the house was crowded wit people. All me aunts were upstairs keepin the wake when me ma sneaked outa the house. ‘Come on,’ she said te me. ‘Quick! Before they miss us.’
We went up aroun High Street an met Dickser at the Corn Market. She gave him the money, an he asked her if she wanted a walk. She said, no, she had te hurry back. They’d have plenty of time fer tha when they got te England, an they both laughed. Dickser gave me a penny, an when I examined it, it was all bent an black. I didn’t think they would take it in the shop, an I was disgusted.
On the way home, the ma asked me if I wanted a single, an we went inta the chip shop. We ate the chips comin home in the dark, an they were lovely an hot. When we got te our hall door, there were people spillin out onta the street. There was a coupla young ones an young fellas loungin against the walls. The young fellas hid the bottle of porter they were drinkin under their coats, an they stopped laughin an pushin each other when they saw us comin. ‘G’night, missus,’ they said te me ma.
We walked on inta the dark hall. We could hear the singin an the buzz of voices comin from upstairs. Me ma fell over a body lyin at the bottom of the stairs. She gave an awful scream, an the mound of coats moved te show a head wit bloodshot eyes starin up at us in confusion. ‘Jaysus, it’s Hairy Lemon! Get out, ye dirty aul sod,’ me ma shouted at him.
The young fellas rushed in, an when they saw me ma was all right, they laughed an said, ‘He won’t harm ye, missus. We’ll put him out fer ye, if ye want.’
‘Ah, leave him. So long as he doesn’t come up an murder me in me bed, I don’t care.’
The door opened on the landin, an Cissy came out. ‘Who’s that? Who’s down there?’ she shouted.
‘It’s only me, Cissy. Hairy Lemon gave me an awful fright. He’s sleepin at the bottom of the stairs.’
I dashed inta the room, an it was lovely an warm. The fire was roarin red, an the fryin pan was on top of the fire wit sausages an rashers sizzlin away. The lamp had a new wick, an it was burnin brightly, throwin shadows on the walls. Me cousin’s head shot up from the pilla, an he was delighted te see me. ‘Cissy told me a story,’ he said. ‘An I saw Mrs Coleman. She was dead! An I got lemonade, an biscuits, an cake. Me ma’s up there, an Cissy is mindin me. You should a been here, ye’ve missed it all. I got everythin!’
I was lost fer words an started te cry. I was not goin te be outdone.
‘Ma, bring us up te the wake, Ma. I want te go te see Mrs Coleman.’
‘No! Ye’re goin te bed, it’s too late.’
‘Ma, I want te.’
‘If ye don’t stop tha keenin, I’ll leave ye down wit Hairy Lemon!’
Then Cissy said te me ma she’d take me up fer just a minute, an Barney was outa the bed in a flash. ‘I’m comin, too. Me too, Cissy!’
So we banged up the stairs ahead of Cissy, an the landin was crowded. Nelly was draped over two old women sittin wit black shawls draped aroun them, their noses blocked tight wit the free snuff they were shovin up. They had bottles of stout lined up an were shovellin ham sambidges, an cake, an pig’s cheek inta their mouths like there was no tomorrow. Nelly was dozin wit the bottle of porter in her hand but stirred herself when she saw us comin.
‘Ah, me beauties! Me lovely childre! The light a me life, come here an give us a kiss.’
She dribbled all over Barney an tried te catch me. Barney was tryin te climb up on her lap at the same time she reached out fer me, an the chair toppled over. Nelly went backwards, takin Barney an the old women wit her, cos she grabbed a hold a them. The pig’s cheek an the porter spilt over them, an they all ended up in a heap on the floor.
Nelly said, ‘Fer the love a Jaysus!’ An the old women screamed, ‘Help! I’m kilt!’ An Biddy, who was wrapped aroun two old men an a woman, stopped singin an squinted over te see wha was happenin an said, ‘Ah, nobody’s hurt; it’s only Nelly enjoyin herself.’
I went inta the back room where the corpse was laid out on the bed. Chairs were lined up against the wall, an people were sittin suppin porter an eatin an talkin in hushed whispers.
‘Come in, babbies, come in,’ they said te me an Barney. ‘Go over an say a little prayer. Little childre are always very welcome. Yer prayers are mighty. Holy God always listens te the prayers of little childre. Kitty! Will ye lift up there the little craturs te see the corpse.’
Barney sped outa the door, screamin fer his mammy. But I’m not a babby. He is, he’s only three. I’m four. I held me breath, an Kitty, the daughter of the corpse, lifted me up. The corpse was like a marble statue. She was in a brown habit, an her hands was wrapped in rosary beads.
‘Tha’s right, chicken. You say a little prayer te our blessed Lord, an he’ll take poor aul Mrs Coleman straight te heaven,’ Kitty said te me as she began te swing me closer te the corpse.
I started te squeak, cos I could see up the corpse’s nose, an I thought she was goin te suddenly wake up an grab me. I was gone like lightnin an didn’t wait fer lemonade an biscuits an cake.