The Corporation evicted us te the Corporation Buildins. Some people call it the Cage! They laugh an say the police used te have te come in crowds, cos they were afraid of their life te come on their own. It’s beside Foley Street an just off Talbot Street. Ye step inta a little hallway, an there’s four doors. We’re on the ground floor, an there’s balconies overhead. Our door is first on the left of the hallway, an we have a winda lookin onta the front. The room is very small, an we all have te sleep in one bed, cos tha’s all we can fit in. The table fer eatin off sits at the end of the bed, an we have one chair beside the fireplace. An a little scullery wit a sink an a gas cooker – tha’s it. We put the babby’s pram under the winda, an there’s very little room te move. A woman wit long grey hair, an two childre, a boy an a girl – the boy is about ten years old an the girl is about eleven – live across the hall from us. An old man lives in the other room, an the fourth room is empty. Some of the people manage te get two an three rooms as they become empty in their hallway, an pay the extra money fer each of the rooms.
Jackser’s goin mad, cos the room’s too cramped. We’re all fallin over each other. He can’t walk up an down when he’s restless, an he keeps clenchin his fists an punchin his hands against each other. ‘Ah, fuck this, I’m gettin outa here!’ an he runs out the door. ‘I’m goin te see a fella I know,’ he says, an he disappears.
Me ma goes mad. ‘Where are ye goin te?’ she shouts, but he’s gone. ‘Get after him!’ she shouts at me. ‘See wha he’s up te.’
‘No, Ma! Let him go.’
‘But he’s up te no good!’ me ma says.
‘How do ye know, Ma? He’ll be back,’ I said.
‘Yeah! When he gets wha he wants from some dyed blonde.’
Me heart sinks te see me ma worryin. But I’m annoyed, too. Now we have a bit of peace. ‘Yeah! An there’s fuck all te eat!’ she says.
‘Can I go out te play, Ma?’
‘Ah, don’t be annoyin me. Here, get the pillacase an get up te the convent an get the bread!’
I take the tuppence fer the bus fare there an back, an walk up an get the number twenty-four bus te Marino. I get off an walk up Griffith Avenue wit all the big houses an gardens an trees, an then arrive at the gates of the Cross an Passion convent an walk up the avenue an past the big front door wit the steps up te it. An go aroun the side te the back door an ring the bell only once. An then I wait fer the nun te come an open the door. If ye ring twice, they give ye nothin.
The door opens after a while, an the nun just looks at me an says nothin an closes the door again. I can be up te an hour waitin here, an it’s very quiet. I sit meself down on the step an look at the green grass an admire the huge conifers – tha’s what a young nun told me they were called. She came out wit a load of other young nuns. They all had black lace hankies on their heads, an they still had their lovely shiny hair, so they weren’t real nuns yet. The ground was covered in snow at the time, an they came runnin out te throw snowballs at each other. I watched them havin a great time, pickin the snow up an beltin each other, an roarin an laughin, an sayin, ‘Oh, blast!’ Tha was supposed te be a curse! I thought they were real grand. They looked so shiny an clean wit lovely red cheeks an a Gibbs toothpaste smile full of white teeth. They thought the snow was lovely, an it did look lovely an white here. But I hated it, cos I was always freezin wit the cold, an me bare feet an hands was killin me wit the pain. I admired them no end an wanted te come an live here an be just like them, eatin an prayin, an sleepin in a bed wit white sheets. An bein shiny an clean, an have shoes an warm knickers. An rush aroun in the snow, an say ‘Oh, blast!’ an be very grand altogether.
I came outa me daze when I suddenly heard a noise. I looked up an saw a tramp come shufflin over. He was wearin about six coats an had a bit of twine wrapped aroun his waist. I turned away an ignored him. After a few minutes, he crept over beside me. ‘Did ye ring the bell?’ he whispered inta me face.
The smell of him was terrible. I moved away an didn’t look at him. ‘Yeah!’ I muttered.
A few minutes later, I heard hissin noises. I looked over te see what it was, an the tramp nodded over te the trees. ‘Come over there wit me, an I’ll give ye sixpence!’ He showed me the sixpence in his hand, an he was wearin black gloves wit no fingers in them. I looked at his face. It was red, an his eyes was dancin in his head. I didn’t like the look of them eyes.
Me mind flew. I can’t run off without me bread, an, anyway, I was here first! I jumped up an rang the doorbell. ‘I’m gettin the nun fer you. An I’m tellin her wha ye said te me.’
‘No! No! Don’t do tha!’ he said. ‘Oh, Holy Mother of God!’ an he rushed off, tryin te shuffle fast, hangin on te his coats.
The nun didn’t come out fer a long while. ‘Did you ring this bell?’ She stared at me wit her lips pressed together.
I looked aroun me te see if he was still gone an satisfied meself he was not comin back. I said, ‘No, Sister! A man did, but he’s gone now!’
‘You’ll have to wait,’ she said. ‘I’m busy.’
‘Ah, Sister, would ye have a drink of water? I’m parched, Sister.’
A while later, the door opened, an the nun handed me a tin mug wit hot water. I was disgusted! She took it from the hot tap! I drank half an handed the mug back. She had a smirk on her face an a glint in her eye. She’s bad, I thought te meself. Nuns are supposed te be holy.
I took the leftover bits of bread she gave me thrown together in greasepaper. An put it in me pillacase tha was black wit the dirt an covered in blood spots from all the bites we get from the fleas. Pity I didn’t get a nice nun. Once in a while, I can strike lucky an get bread an drippin, an even roast meat. The nun who gives me the bit of bacon, an maybe even a leg a lamb, doesn’t seem te be there any more. Me ma will go mad an start givin out. ‘Why did the nun not give ye anythin? Did ye ask her? Wha did ye say? Did ye not tell her this, why didn’t ye tell her tha?’ An me ma will keep at me until the next time I bring home somethin good. I always like te see me ma’s face light up when she’s happy, an have maybe five Woodbines fer Jackser, te put him in good form. But I’ve nothin te bring home, an nobody will be laughin.
I hurry over te the other convent, High Park, an pass the shops. I get an idea an rush inta the butchers. ‘Eh, excuse me, Sir, but would ye ever have any bones fer the dog?’
The butcher is very respectable, an he stands back an looks at me. He picks up a chunk of lap a lamb, an wraps it an hands it te me.
‘Eh, I didn’t mean fer te buy.’
‘Yes! Yes! That’s all right,’ an he waves his hand at me.
I’m delighted an put it in me pillacase. ‘Thanks very much, Mister!’ an I rush off.
I ring the bell at the convent, an Hairy comes out, looks at me an smirks, closes the door an I wait, hoppin up an down on the pebble stones on the ground, makin a crunchin noise under me feet. I got inta terrible trouble wit the nun once. I was dyin te go te the tilet but was afraid te go in the bushes in case she came out an I missed her. So I squatted on the ground in front of the hall door an was pissin away when the door opened an the nun’s eyes met mine. We were both shocked, but I had te continue me pissin. She told me I had te send me mother, an she didn’t want te see me face again. So far, I’ve been lucky. She hasn’t opened the door fer me.
Hairy came out an handed me two stale loaves. I put them in me pillacase an put it over me shoulder, an decided te go out the back way. As I was passin the chapel, I saw a bicycle parked outside wit a black saddlebag strapped on the back. I peeked inta the chapel te see wha was goin on. The priest was sayin Mass. I shut the door quickly, tha must be his bike! I hesimitated fer a minute an put down me pillacase. I’ll just have a look in the bag. I undid the straps, an the bag was filled wit ten-pack Carroll cigarettes! Me eyes lit up. Cigarettes! Jackser! Ah, no, he doesn’t smoke these. He’d only smoke Woodbines. Then I had an idea. I filled me pillacase wit the cigarettes an rushed off. Aroun by the childre’s home, past the farm, down the back lane, out the gate, an on te the road headin fer Drumcondra. Down the hill I flew, across Griffith Avenue wit the Whitehall police station on me right.
I stopped at the traffic lights, an gave a quick look over te see if the alarm had been raised an they were searchin fer me. Me heart was pumpin. I took out a ten pack of Carrolls an walked inta the shop an put them on the counter. ‘Me da says I’m te bring these back, cos it’s ten Woodbines he wants. I got the wrong ones!’
The woman looked over the counter at me. ‘Did ye buy these here?’
‘Yeah, I did!’
She looked at them an looked at me. ‘I don’t remember servin you.’
‘Oh, yes, Mam! I bought them here all right!’
She looked me straight in the eye. I didn’t move a muscle. ‘All right, then.’
I let me breath out slowly. She handed me ten Woodbines, an change! I was out the door an inta the next shop. A few people were waitin te be served. I looked around. It was a vegebale an grocery shop. There were shoppin bags wit food lined against the walls waitin fer collection. Gawd! They’re very respectable, the people livin aroun here, they get their messages done fer them.
I hesimitated fer a second – nobody lookin! I grabbed one of the shoppin bags an flew out the door. I tore up the hill an sat down on a bench outside the Bishop’s Palace, an opened the bag. I pulled out a chicken wit some of its feathers still stuck te it, an it still had its head an the eyes were closed, an I was very disappointed. A chicken! But it wasn’t cooked, an me ma doesn’t know how te cook. I left the chicken beside me on the seat wit its two front legs stickin up in the air an looked in the bag. A packet of tea wit a picture on it of a woman holdin a basket full of tea leaves. I put tha down beside the chicken. A red jelly, an me ma can’t make jelly either! I asked her once, when I came outa the hospital, te make jelly, an she said ye need an ice box. Maybe we can eat it raw. A jar of marmalade an a packet of Jacob’s Cream Crackers. Tha’s the lot. I opened the side of the bag an found a purse. It had half a crown ! Ah, Gawd! Me ma’ll go mad wit delight, an Jackser will be over the moon wit his Woodbines.
I put everythin back in the bag an rushed on, goin from shop te shop until I had got rid of all the Carroll cigarettes an changed them fer Woodbines. I kept the half-crown fer me ma an spent the change from the cigarettes. I bought a packet of oxtail soup fer the meat, an a half-pound of margarine, an a pound of sugar. An I bought sweets fer the childre an a banana fer the babby Harry. An a choc ice fer meself an a Bunty comic. I better not let Jackser see the comic or he’ll rip it te shreds. He goes mad if he catches me lookin at comics. He says I’m idlin, but I just love te look at the comics, especially the Bunty. I can’t read them, but I look at the pictures an follow the story tha way. But tha’s not enough fer me any more. I want te know wha they’re sayin. So I’m mad te learn te read. I know the letters, an now I’m goin aroun spellin all the signs on the buses, an the shop names, an the billboards on the walls. Anywhere I see writin, I spell it, an then break it in half an get the sound, an then put them together an say the word. I do tha now wit me comics, an I’m nearly gettin there. Soon, I’ll be able te read.
Jackser’s gone mad on the drink. Our nerves are gone very bad, sittin in the dark waitin fer him te come home. Me ma sits on the chair lookin out the winda. I go te bed an pray there will be no more trouble. I roll meself inta a ball, cos every night Jackser kicks the legs an back off me, cos he says I’m te get me fuckin legs away from him. I don’t know I’m touchin him, cos I’m in me sleep. An he stretches his feet all the way down te me back. Me ma keeps mutterin te me from the winda. ‘Oh, Jaysus! Me nerves are gone wit this bastard,’ she says. ‘He’ll come in now, mouldy drunk, an upend the place.
‘Here he is! Here he is!’ she suddenly says, an me heart starts te pound.
‘Don’t say anythin, Ma. Please, Ma! Don’t say anythin. He’ll kill us. Oh, Jesus! Oh, Jesus!’ I beg. Me teeth are chatterin, an I’m shakin all over. Dear God, don’t let him start any more trouble. Keep us safe. I don’t know whether te dive under the blankets, or get up te save me mammy. I sit up in the bed, holdin me hands, an me ma jumps up an rushes inta the scullery.
He stumbles inta the hall an slams against the door. ‘Ma! Ma! Let him in,’ I croak.
‘Open the fuckin door, Mrs. Come on!’ An he bangs on the door wit his fist. I jump outa the bed an open the door. He pushes the door an flattens me against the wall, bangin me head wit a thump. ‘Where is she? Come outa there, ye fuckin aul hag, ye!’ An he stumbles inta the scullery an drags me ma out. ‘Ye won’t keep a man locked out of his own home.’ He shakes her by the neck an then starts punchin her. Me ma screams, an Harry sits up in the bed. He doesn’t know wha’s happenin an screams from fright. Teddy wakes up, an his face is blue from the shock, an he crawls over Charlie an puts out his arms fer me te lift him.
Jackser tears the hair from me mammy’s head an throws her aroun the floor an kicks her. I jump outa the way an press meself inta the corner. ‘Ah, no, Jackser! Please! Please! Don’t hurt me mammy. Please, Jackser! We’ll do whatever ye want,’ I’m sobbin, too afraid te scream.
Jackser whirls aroun on the balls of his feet an glares at me. His eyes are mad, an the spits are leakin outa his mouth. He grabs the chair an swings it through the air, an smashes the winda. ‘I’ll kill ye’s all!’ he screams. ‘I’ll do time fer ye’s! They’ll fuckin hang me!’
The glass smashes on te the ground an inta the room, an I’m screamin. Charlie charges outa the bed an dives underneath. Jackser lunges fer the bed an just misses Charlie, an grabs Teddy instead an picks him up by the legs. An Teddy catches his breath, an he swings him out the broken winda, an me ma can’t get up from the floor. She’s holdin her stomach, an she gives a piercin scream an says, ‘Murder! He’s murderin me child! Get help, Martha! He’s goin te kill the lot of us.’
I tear me face from me ma an look at Jackser flingin poor Teddy across te the bed. I charge fer the door, an he grabs me by the hair an punches me in the face. An me nose shoots out blood like a fountain. Then he opens the door an slams me across the hall, flyin through the air until I hit the woman’s door opposite.
I lay like a heap of rubbish on the ground, pumpin blood everywhere, I was chokin on it. The woman came runnin out an screamed at Jackser te stop his blackguardin cos she was goin across te Store Street police station te bring back the police. She had her coat thrown on, an she ran fer the police. I was crawlin aroun, tryin te get up, but the blood was pourin outa me like a tap. An I wanted te get up te try an stop him from killin everyone, but I was winded, an the pain in me back an chest wouldn’t let me breathe. I was desperately lookin out the hall, hopin someone would come, but it was dark. An the only noise was our screamin. Jesus! Jesus! Please don’t let him kill us. Make him stop.
The door of the old man’s flat opened, an he came out slowly, afraid of his life. ‘Sweet Jesus!’ he whispered, comin towards me. I pulled meself up slowly, holdin on te the wall. The blood wouldn’t stop pumpin from me nose, an I had te keep me head down an let it flow, or it went down me throat an choked me if I lifted me head. He held me arm an asked where all the blood was comin from, an saw it was me nose, an said he’ll get somethin te stop the bleedin. Then he let me go an put his head in the room slowly an said, ‘Are ye’s all right?’
Jackser roared, ‘She won’t leave me alone! Day an night I have te listen te her complainin! Mornin, noon an night. It never stops. Well, I’m puttin an end te it here an now. I’m goin te get rid of the lot of them. I’d be better off locked up.’
‘Ah! Don’t be sayin tha. It will be all right.’
‘No!’ Jackser roared. ‘I’ll fuckin finish them off.’
‘Take it easy! Take it easy,’ I heard the old man say.
I crept over te the door an put me head in the room, spillin pools of blood after me. I saw straight away Teddy was hurt. Blood was pourin outa him. His neck an hands an face was covered wit blood, an he was screamin. He was pressed inta the corner of the bed, his back against the wall. Harry was leanin himself against the wall, too, the side of his face pressed against the wall. An he was watchin te see if someone was goin te hurt him. An he was sobbin his heart out, his chest heavin up an down, an his eyes was like huge saucers. Me ma was on the floor, holdin herself up by the side of the bed, an she was in terrible pain. She couldn’t get up.
‘No more! Oh, stop him! Oh, Jesus help us! Tha’s enough! Don’t do any more,’ she was implorin.
‘Shut up!’ Jackser screamed at her, lungin wit his fists, bendin his head inta her face.
I screamed, an the childre were hysterical, an the young girl from next door ran in. Her mother must have told her not te come out. But she ran in, probably worried about her mammy. She took one look an grabbed me. ‘Come on! Get out.’
‘No! No!’ I screamed, an Jackser ran inta the scullery an grabbed the knife. The young one lunged fer Teddy an dragged him off the bed an ran wit him. I got te me senses an grabbed Harry. An I was screamin, ‘Help! Murder! He’s goin te kill me ma. Charlie! Get outa there! Get outa there!’ an I was runnin te get outa the room.
I saw Jackser jump on me ma wit the knife. He had his knee on her stomach. The woman came tearin back inta the hall an rushed past me, screamin at her daughter te lock the door. ‘Lock the door!’ she was screamin. The old man was shoutin, ‘No! No! Let her alone!’ I ran inta the room behind the daughter, carryin the babby covered in my blood. An the woman screamed, ‘Jesus, Jesus! Stop! Stop! It’s a slaughter house.’
Charlie came runnin in behind me, shoutin, ‘Save me! Save me!’ The girl was cryin an slammed the door, an opened her winda an climbed out, cos it’s low on the ground, an she went runnin. ‘Help! Help! He’s goin te kill me ma!’ she was screamin at the top of her lungs.
I heard runnin feet an people shoutin, ‘It’s in here!’ An they came tearin in through the hall. I heard a man shout, ‘Get the fuck off!’ an Jackser roarin. More people came, an the girl opened the door. Two women came in wit her, an their eyes were shocked. They had coats thrown over their shoulders, an they said, ‘Oh, God forgive him fer his badness.’ They grabbed a towel from the scullery an started wipin the blood from Teddy’s neck an face. An the other woman grabbed a cloth an was holdin the cloth te me face te stop the blood. We couldn’t stop cryin. The girl put on the kettle, an the woman pulled the frock over me head. It was soppin wit blood, an I stood in me skin, shiverin an covered in blood, but I didn’t care.
‘Mammy! Mammy! I want me mammy,’ an we were all cryin fer me mammy.
‘Shush, shush! She’s all right. No harm will come te her, we’ll see te tha.’ An they washed me down. ‘This poor little fella’s neck has a very bad gash.’ The woman held the towel on the back of his neck, an the girl looked te see where Harry was bleedin from. But he wasn’t cut, it was only my blood. When the bleedin was stopped an I was cleaned up, the woman put a frock an cardigan on me belongin te the girl. Me face was in a bad way. Me eye an cheek was swollen, an me nose was swollen, too.
The screamin from next door died down, an I could hear voices an glass bein swept up. The woman came in. ‘Are ye’s all right? Oh, Jesus! I never want te see the like of tha again, Mrs. I’m not the better of it!’ she said te the two women.
‘Ah, the man’s an animal. He should be locked up fer life, no one’s safe aroun him. Look wha he’s done te the poor childre, he’s destroyed them fer life. They’ll never be the same!’
‘Is me ma all right?’ I asked the neighbour.
‘Ah, she’ll be grand. But she’ll have te go te hospital fer a little while. But there’s nothin fer ye te worry yerself about.’ Then she whispered somethin te the two women. Me heart stopped. She must be goin te die. Wha’s goin te happen te us? Charlie started cryin again. I looked at him, an his face was the colour of marble.
‘Here, chicken! Drink this, it will do ye good. An eat the egg an the bit a bread an butter. It’s not much, but it will bring yer strength back. Where’s the babby’s bottle? I want te give him a hot sup of tea.’ An I looked over at Harry, sittin on one of the women’s laps at the fire. He was very pale but was content te sit an let the woman rock him. Teddy was bein fed an egg by the girl an was eatin it an holdin a bit of bread in his hand. An Charlie was sittin on the floor in front of the fire, eatin bread an spoonin egg inta his mouth. I gave a big sob an started te drink me tea an eat me egg. People were tired an talkin in whispers. The room was warm an peaceful, an I couldn’t hear any more noise from our room, just the sound of people busy comin an goin, fixin somethin te block the winda. An there was no more shoutin.
The old man came in an smiled at us an shook his head te the women, puttin his eyes te heaven. An he looked very white an tired. ‘Are ye’s all right now?’ he said in a very quiet voice, lookin at us. ‘Ah, it’s all over now. Ye’s will be all right, thank God.’ Then he went inta the scullery an was whisperin te the women. They made him sit down an have a drop of hot tea. An one of the women went off te her own place an said she wouldn’t be long. Then an ambulance arrived an stopped outside the door. I jumped up, wantin te see wha was happenin.
‘No, no! You sit there, chicken, don’t move. They’re only goin te take yer mammy inta hospital fer a little while. She’ll be all right.’
I sat down, afraid te upset anyone, but I wanted te see me mammy, te see if she was all right. An wha was happenin te Jackser? Are they goin te take him away an lock him up? Oh, please God, get him locked up. But I was afraid te say anythin. So I didn’t move an just sat quiet, an tried te stop me heart from racin. I was so afraid of everythin, not knowin wha was goin te happen te us. I was afraid te die, an I was afraid te live.
I looked at me brothers. Harry was lyin on the woman’s chest, holdin on te her, his hand restin on her chest. An she was holdin the bottle of tea in his mouth an croonin te him very softly. He was lookin up at her, lettin the bottle rest in his mouth. Then he gave a big sigh an went back te suckin his bottle an nestled his head inta her chest, gettin a tighter grip of her wit his other hand. The woman smiled over at me an said, ‘He’s a lovely child, God bless him.’ An then she said, ‘I think I’ll take him up wit me fer the night. He can sleep in wit me. He seems te have settled now.’
Teddy was dozin on the bed, an the girl was lyin beside him wit his head on her stomach, an she was gently strokin his hair. The blood had clotted on the back of his neck, an the bleedin was stopped. The girl lifted the cloth an whispered, ‘Mammy, the gash is very deep. It probably needs stitches.’
‘Leave the poor mite where he is. Put him under the covers. An you, chicken,’ she said te me, ‘get in beside him, ye’re all done in. Wha ye need now, the lot of ye, is a good night’s sleep.’
The other woman came back from her place an brought a loaf of bread an cheese an corn beef. ‘Ah, ye shouldn’t have!’ ‘Not at all!’ the women said te each other, ‘There’s plenty more where tha came from!’ I climbed inta bed beside Teddy, an Charlie got in beside the wall, wit Teddy in the middle between the two of us.
‘I’ll take your little fella up wit me fer the night, an he can sleep wit my childre,’ the woman who just came in wit the food said.
‘Tha’s very good of ye. Tha way then, I’ll sleep next te Ellie, me daughter, an Maggie here is takin the babby up wit her.’
‘Ah, tha’s grand. We’re all sorted out now. An I’ll make us all a nice sup of tea. Jaysus, we could do wit it after the night we’ve had!’ An they all laughed wit relief.
‘How are things now?’ an she lifted her head te our room. The man an the women whispered te each other, an I turned away, puttin me arm aroun Teddy. An he moved inta me, holdin onta me. The pain was easin in me, an the quiet whispers an the heat from the fire was soothin me. The light was off in the room, gettin light only from the scullery an the blazin fire. I started te doze, an then I felt meself sinkin inta a deep sleep.
A noise woke me up, an me eyes shot open. I tried te lift me head, but it was too heavy. An the pain shot aroun me head, an I was in pain everywhere. The woman from upstairs, Maggie, came in wit Harry an she looked down at me. Me eyes were too swollen, an I could see only through slits. ‘Oh! God Almighty, ye’re in an awful state, ye poor cratur!’
‘Lie there, don’t move yerself,’ me neighbour said. ‘Have ye a pram fer the babby?’ she asked me quietly.
‘No, it’s gone,’ I said. Not sayin Jackser had sold it fer ten bob down in Capel Street an drank the money.
‘Never mind, I’ll manage,’ she said.
It was mornin, an the fire was lightin. Teddy moved beside me, an Charlie sat up an rubbed his eyes. ‘I’ll go off an see if I can get somethin te put the babby in. I don’t mind takin him fer a few days,’ Maggie said.
‘Yeah, an I can keep the childre here fer a while. We’ll see wha happens. Ellie, give Charlie a sup of tea an help him te put his clothes on.’
‘OK, Ma.’
‘Good girl!’
Charlie scrambled outa the bed, an I turned over, hurtin everywhere, an started te doze again.
I woke up again, an it was evenin. The neighbour was bendin over me wit a cup of tea. ‘Come on, love, try an sit up an drink this, ye need it.’ I closed me eyes, it hurt too much te keep them open. Even the movement hurt me head. ‘Come on, I’ll help ye.’ An she put her hand under me back an lifted me. Everythin started te swim, an me head was like a ton weight. The pain was terrible. She held the cup te me mouth, an I took two sips an started te gag.
‘No, no,’ I said. ‘I can’t!’
‘All right, then. Tha will do. We’ll put ye lyin down again, an ye can get some rest, ye’re too sick fer anythin.’ I lay back down in the bed, an me head was on fire. I eased back inta sleep.
When I woke again, it was mornin. The watery sun was shinin inta the room. I slowly lifted me head an looked aroun the room, wonderin where I was fer a minute. Charlie an Teddy was sittin on the floor wit Ellie, an she was playin wit Teddy’s toes an then ticklin Charlie, makin them roar laughin. ‘More, more!’ Charlie was shoutin, an Teddy was squealin wit excitement.
An then it all came back te me. Me head an back felt like someone had bashed me wit a concrete block, an me face was very sore. But the pain was eased an awful lot, an I felt OK when I lay down an kept still. I was content te lie there very quietly an take in the room. It was heaven on earth. The fire was banked up an glowin red, an there was a red an blue china dog sittin on the mantelpiece, an a lovely big clock tha chimed every fifteen minutes an bonged every hour. I liked the sound of it tick tockin. An over tha, on the wall, was a big picture of two soldiers in uniforms holdin guns. An they had bags on their backs. The picture looked very old. There was a small armchair wit cushions beside the fire, an a round table wit a heavy cloth an tassles hangin from the bottom, coverin it. An a lovely lace cloth lay on top of tha. An it was sittin under the winda, which had lovely white net curtains an heavy red ones, wit big yella flowers, tha ye close at night te keep out the dark, an the wind, an anyone tha wants te look in. An there was oil cloth on the floor, an ye could see yer face in it from the shine.
I could hear the mammy bangin pots an singin te herself in the scullery. There was a lovely smell of somethin cookin, an I wondered if I could stay here fer the rest of me life. I’d never complain again.
‘Ah, ye’re awake,’ Mrs said te me, bendin down an smilin at me. I was a bit worried she might tell me te get up an go inta me own room an mind me brothers.
‘Yeah,’ I croaked shyly, wonderin wha’s goin te happen now. I lifted me head te sit up, an it hurt like mad. But I didn’t want her te think she had te put up wit us. I don’t like te make a fool of meself, an maybe she hasn’t enough food te stretch fer everyone, cos she’s on her own.
‘How’re ye feelin?’
‘Eh! Not too bad.’
She looked at me. ‘Ah, yer poor face is very swollen, an ye must be very sore. Are ye?’
‘Yeah,’ I said.
‘Right! Let’s get ye sittin up an more comfortable, then we’ll see about gettin ye a nice cup a tea. Wouldn’t ye like tha?’
‘Yeah,’ I said, lettin out a big sigh.
She lifted me up an fixed a long sausage pilla behind me, an another one on top of tha, an I sank meself back, restin against the headboard. Then she went off te the scullery, an I heard her rattlin the cups. Oh, if only this would last for ever an me ma could be like her!
‘Now, mind ye don’t burn yerself wit tha tea. It’s very hot.’
I tasted the tea, an the steam was hurtin me face, but it was lovely. Loads a milk, an it was very sweet. I supped away, an Mrs waited an then took the cup from me. ‘Ye’s won’t have te wait long fer yer dinner. It’s nearly done.’
‘Oh, great, Ma! I’m starvin,’ Ellie said, an she looked over at me. ‘We’re havin coddle. Do ye like coddle?’
‘Yeah!’ I said, not knowin wha coddle was. But it smelled lovely.
‘Yeah, we’re very lucky,’ the mammy said. ‘The St Vincent de Paul called last night. An when they saw me plight, wit the extra mouths te feed, they gave me an extra voucher fer ten bob an the bit of extra turf fer the fire. So now I’m well away! Ellie, run out an find Jimmy. Bring him in fer his dinner. He better not be gone far! I told him not te stray, I was doin a bit of dinner.’
‘OK, Ma!’ an she was out the door.
I could hear bangin plates, an then the mammy came in wit two steamin plates of stew. ‘Now, babba,’ she said te Teddy, who was standin himself up an sittin himself down an wavin his fists in the air wit excitement, an nearly suffocatin himself swallowin his spits. ‘Sit down an I’ll feed ye this.’
Charlie was sittin on the floor an hammerin his heels up an down wit impatience. ‘Easy now. Easy, ye’ll choke yerself,’ she said te Charlie, who was coughin an splutterin, cos he shovelled too much in his mouth. Teddy screamed, cos she didn’t put the spoon fast enough inta his mouth.
Ellie an Jimmy came rushin back inta the room an threw themselves at the table. Jimmy’s face lit up. ‘Coddle, Ma! Where did ye manage te get the money?’
‘From the Vincents,’ Ellie said.
‘Now!’ the mammy said te Teddy. ‘Did ye enjoy tha?’ an Teddy looked shocked at the empty plate an screamed fer more. ‘No more!’ the mammy said, laughin. An Charlie looked te see wha would happen next wit the empty plate sittin beside him an hoped Teddy’s screams might bring more.
‘All right! Take it easy. I’ll bring ye somethin.’ An she came back wit bread an soup poured over it. Teddy slapped his knees an roared, ‘Me! Me!’ until she sat down an fed him an gave the other plate te Charlie.
When they were finished, they were still lookin after the empty plates, an she said, ‘Wait there, I have somethin nice fer ye’s.’ An she came back in an unwrapped two Sugar Barleys. ‘Now, tha should keep ye busy fer a while.’ An the two of them sat there suckin away on the Sugar Barleys, watchin each other take big noisy sucks, stickin out their tongues an slurpin back in again.
Jimmy was playin wit them, sayin, ‘Give us a suck!’ an they went mad an roared at him in case he robbed their Sugar Barleys.
‘Ah, don’t be tormentin them!’ the mammy shouted from the scullery. ‘Let them have their little bit of enjoyment.’
‘I’m not, Ma!’ Jimmy shouted. ‘I’m only playin wit them.’
‘Well, go on out an play wit someone yer own age. Cos if I catch ye touchin them babbies’ sweets, ye’ll get the back of me hand on ye.’
Jimmy jumped up laughin an gave a last look at the sweets an flew out the door, bangin it shut behind him. Me head leapt wit the noise, an the mammy shouted, ‘Jaysus, Jimmy Dunne, one of these days I’ll kill ye fer bangin tha door!
‘Now, chicken. Get tha down ye!’ an she handed me a plate a stew, wit sausages an rashers an black an white puddin, an carrots an onions, all floatin aroun in soup, an lovely bits of potatoes. I never tasted anythin like this before, an it was gorgeous. I ate it very slowly, cos me face hurt, but, more importantly, te make it last as long as I could. When the plate was empty, I held on te it as long as I could, te run me fingers aroun the few drops of gravy left, an only handed back the plate when it was snow-white clean.
‘Now, I needn’t ask, because ye certainly enjoyed tha. I was wonderin if ye was goin te eat the plate an all. Have a little sleep fer yerself. It’ll do ye good,’ an she pulled away the long sausage pilla, an I slid meself down under the warm blankets an felt meself dozin off inta a lovely sleep. Thanks, God, fer lookin after us. When I grow up, I’m goin te be just like Ellie’s mammy an have a lovely an peaceful home an feed me childre lovely stews.
I woke up wit the sound of voices, an Maggie was in the room wit me little brother Harry. I sat up in the bed, an Maggie said, ‘Ah, look, Harry! Here’s yer big sister,’ an she plopped him down beside me on the bed. I laughed, delighted te see him, an he looked at me an wrapped his arms aroun me neck. I held on fer a minute an then took his hands, cos it hurt me, but I didn’t care. I grabbed him an gave him a squeeze, an kissed his face, an looked at him. He looked lovely an clean, an his hair was washed. Then I squeezed him again, an he had enough an tried te push me away, but I wouldn’t let go, an he grabbed a hold of me hair an pulled. I roared, cos it hurt me sore head, an he wouldn’t let go, an he was squealin wit delight, cos he thought it was a game. Maggie ran over an grabbed his little hands, an picked his fingers one by one outa me hair. An all the time I was roarin.
‘No! No, babba!’ Maggie was shoutin, an Harry gave a big squeal an a big yank before I got me head back. An I held me head, watchin as Maggie took Harry away, still squealin at me fer tormentin him wit me squeezes.
Maggie held him up in the air an shook him, laughin, ‘Aren’t you the little demon?’ An he roared laughin. ‘Ah! I’m goin te keep you,’ an she shook him, an he screamed wit the excitement. Then she buried her face in his neck an blew noises at him. An he roared, an screamed wit laughin. ‘An yer poor mammy will cry without ye! Isn’t tha right?’ an she blew inta his neck again, makin suckin noises. He loved it.
She sat down in the armchair beside the fire an put Harry on the floor. Teddy an Charlie started chasin him aroun the room on their hands an knees. ‘Are ye feelin better?’ Maggie asked me.
‘Yeah! I’m much better, thanks.’
‘Well, ye won’t feel the time goin till yer mammy’s outa the hospital.’
Then Mrs Dunne asked her was there any news, an Maggie whispered, lookin at me, an then turnin her back. ‘She’s lost it, the poor woman.’
‘Ah! Lord God, isn’t tha terrible.’
‘Yeah! He kicked it out of her, the animal!’
‘Well,’ Mrs Dunne said, leanin back in her chair an lookin over at the picture of the Sacred Heart hangin over the bed. ‘If there’s any justice, he’ll get wha’s comin te him. An he should be locked up fer life an let them throw away the key. I hope he comes te a bad end! God forgive me,’ an she blessed herself wit the sign of the cross. ‘Anyway, he won’t be comin back here fer a while, not where he is! Tha should put a stop te his gallop!’
Me heart leapt. Locked up! Not comin back! I was afraid te ask, cos I’m not supposed te listen, but me mind started flyin. No more Jackser! Oh, God, let it be true, but I didn’t really believe it. It’s hard te stop Jackser, an they might let him go free. He can talk his way aroun anythin. I felt me heart sink. No, I’ll just have te wait an see wha happens.
‘Ye must be delighted at seein yer mammy.’
‘Yeah, Mrs Dunne, I am. I can’t wait. Is she all better now?’
‘Ah, she’ll be fine. It’ll take her a few days te get back on her feet, but she’s lucky te have you te help her.’
‘Yeah, I can’t wait te see her.’
‘What I’ll do is, light the fire. Oh, yes! I must see if I can get her a bit of turf, she’ll need tha te keep her goin. An I’ll pick up a few scrags a neck a lamb an put on a bit of a stew. It’s not nice te come outa hospital an be faced wit an empty cold room. Not after wha she’s been through. Now, let’s get these two little demons inta the bed, an we’ll have a nice hot suppa tea. Ellie! Will ye wet the teapot fer me? I’ll just throw me coat on. I want te run up te Maggie’s fer a minute, I won’t be long.’
Ellie put down her pencil, she was doin her sums fer school tomorrow, an went inta the scullery. The door shut behind Mrs Dunne, an she was still mutterin te herself, ‘Now did I think of everythin? Did I leave aside the rent money?’ I smiled te meself. Mrs Dunne was always fixin things up in her head an rushin aroun worryin about everyone. An I’m definitely goin te be like her, cos ye always feel safe an happy when ye’re wit her. An she makes me roar laughin at the things she says te people when they annoy her.
Today she sent me fer a packet of Bisto, an I was short of a ha’penny. ‘Would she not give ye the Bisto?’
‘No! It was the chinny aul one, an she said te tell ye she’s not standin behind the counter fer the good of her health!’
‘Is tha so!’ Mrs Dunne roared. ‘Wait till I see her! But I’ll tell ye this! Tha aul one is so mean she’d shoot her mammy just te go on the orphans’ outin!’ The picture of Chinny’s fat ma lyin plastered on the ground, an Chinny runnin off wit the orphans, on their day out, had me in stitches.