Just as a fish someone else catches can never be too small, so the fish you're after can never be quite big enough.
The One That Got Away is easily demonstrated by holding out your arms to their fullest extent and embroidering your fishy tale like the Bayeux tapestry – no one will believe you anyway so you might as well go for broke.
But when you do finally land your fine finned friend, it's time to take his picture – the world must never be allowed to forget your dazzling minute of triumph. The fishing photograph is the most important part of any fishing expedition and its importance cannot be overstated.
But what happens if your fish is on the puny and undernourished side, a blot on your honour and a living mockery of your claims to be a top fisherman?
Fear not. Follow the instructions below and a stickleback will instantly come to resemble a prize pike, and that sickly, emaciated tench will transform into a close relative of the great white, or so it will seem.
INSTRUCTIONS
Take a very small friend fishing with you. Ply him with tea and biscuits. Flatter him. At all costs, keep him by your side until the moment arrives.
Brush up on the laws of perspective.
Position the camera and set it on timer.
Let your diminutive friend hold the fish while you give the world the thumbs-up from as far back as possible. Position yourself cunningly so it looks like you're standing right next to your little pal.
If at first you don't succeed, try try again. You'll be amazed at the results.
THEY'LL NEVER KNOW. AFTER ALL THE CAMERA NEVER LIES.
