I think a part of me expected Trevor to eventually show up, because as much as I was startled to see him standing behind me, it wasn’t because I was surprised. It was because he was half-naked. Half-naked with skin that shone from heat and sweat.
I dragged my eyes away, but not so fast that I didn’t notice a few things.
A scar on his right side that was jagged.
Abs that would make most athletes drool in envy.
Abs that would make most girls drool, period.
A thin line of hair that drifted from his belly button and disappeared beneath the top of his shorts.
Shorts that maybe he should hike up because they were dangerously low on his hips.
That indent guys get, you know, the one that girls talk about. The one that makes you think of things that you shouldn’t be thinking about. It was there. Front and center. Taunting me.
So, yeah, I dragged my eyes away but still managed to take him all in. And now he was sitting beside me. And my skin tingled where he’d touched my back. And I was nervous because we were both practically naked and I’d never been this close to a guy before without, you know, clothes on.
Ugh. I felt my cheeks get hot as I thought of him tying up my bikini top. But there’d been no way for me to get the job done without things peeking out that shouldn’t be peeking out.
I sighed and pushed my sunglasses back over my eyes. How had I reached the age of seventeen without getting half-naked with a guy before?
Oh. Right. There’d been no Trevor Lewis up until a few weeks ago. No guy who’d ever tempted me the way he did. No guy who could make me forget. And right now, I was all about forgetting if I could.
I closed the book I’d been trying to read for the last hour and stretched out on the blanket, resting my chin on my arms. Trevor did the same, both of us looking out over the water, watching the birds that flew and dove for fish near the dam.
“I used to jump off the railway tracks just above the dam with Nate and Link,” Trevor said after a few moments. “When I was, like, twelve. Man, we got in a lot of trouble when our parents found out. Especially after Daryl drowned.”
I thought about that kid. “Daryl Mason?” I asked.
Trevor nodded and turned onto his side so that he was looking at me and not the water. “We were supposed to meet him that afternoon, but Nate had a family thing. I got into trouble for something, can’t remember what, and Link just never showed. There was an undertow or maybe he got caught on something under the dam. I don’t remember how he drowned. I just know he did.” Trevor’s eyes widened a bit. “I haven’t been back to the dam since.”
“He went to my church,” I offered, not knowing what else to say. At the time it had been a tragedy the entire town felt. His parents owned the hardware store, but after Daryl died, they’d moved away.
“I know. His funeral was the last time I was inside a church. It was just hard, you know? We were young, stupid, and so…relieved it wasn’t us. Seeing how broken up his parents were was awful. I remember his mom kept saying, ‘He’s gone to heaven now. I’ll see him again.’ But all I kept thinking was how do you know? How do you know life doesn’t just end when we do?”
I considered his words. “My dad would say that’s what faith is for.”
My dad would say a lot of things, and now I wondered if my dad believed all the stuff he preached, considering the lie he’d been living.
Trevor reached over and plucked my sunglasses off the end of my nose. I wished he hadn’t because now he could see the tears that sat in the corners. Tears that had haunted me since Sunday. Tears that had been falling on and off since forever, it seemed.
“Are you okay?” he asked. Three simple words, and yet so much meaning filled the cracks between them. He cared about me. I heard it in his voice. Most guys would have been up in my face, angry with the silent treatment I’d been doling out since Sunday. Wondering how I could let them touch me, kiss me, and then…nothing.
But not Trevor, and for that I was grateful. I was way too fragile right now to deal with anger.
“Everly? Did I do something?” He looked so serious. And more than a little unsure. “I mean, did I push you in a way that I shouldn’t have Friday?”
That thing in my chest tightened again. The thing that was somehow connected to this boy.
“No.” I shook my head. “No, Trevor. Friday was…amazing. This…” Would I ever be able to speak normally again? “The way I’ve been acting has nothing to do with you. I don’t want you to think that.”
God, his eyes were beautiful. A girl could lose herself inside them.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
I wanted to tell him everything. I wanted to so badly. But I couldn’t vocalize the things in my head. Not yet anyway. Maybe never.
“I’m sorry I blew you off,” I said instead. “I didn’t mean to. I just didn’t know how to be with anyone.”
“At the moment you seem to be doing all right.” His voice was light, touched with the slightest bit of something. It was that something that I needed, because I felt like I’d been holding my breath since Sunday and finally I was able to breathe a bit easier.
“I suppose you think that you have something to do with that?”
“That would make me an egotistical bastard, don’t you think?”
“Yeah. It would.”
“Then I guess I’m an egotistical bastard.” There was that smile again. “Because I think it has everything to do with me.”
I found myself smiling in return, and I nudged him with my shoulder. “You’re pretty full of yourself, Trevor Lewis.”
He didn’t answer because his eyes were on my mouth.
And suddenly the air between us got heavy. Or maybe I couldn’t breathe because I was too busy hanging on to this moment, thinking that Trevor had the longest lashes I’d ever seen on a guy. That his sweat-slicked skin was so different from mine, taut over muscle and somehow stronger.
I saw his tattoo, the one along the side of his neck, and I couldn’t help myself. I traced it with my forefinger, following the strange pattern until it crept up over his shoulder.
I moved closer to him, loving how the sun reflected in his beautiful eyes. I think he groaned. Or maybe it was me.
Either way, that sound tugged at something hot and heavy inside me, and I pushed him back, sliding up along his body until I was on top of him. His hands moved up over my hips, pressing in on my lower back before gliding up to my waist, where he held me so that I couldn’t move.
Not that I wanted to.
In a world that had felt wrong for so many days, everything about being here with Trevor felt right.
We were both breathing heavily and hadn’t done anything yet. Not really. But I felt his heart beating beneath my chest, and my fingers dug into the hair at his nape.
“Kiss me,” I whispered, closing my eyes when I heard the need in my voice and hoping he didn’t.
His hands moved up, slowly, fingers on skin sending little shock waves through my body. He cupped the back of my head, brought me closer, and then his mouth slid across mine. If ever there was a little piece of heaven on earth, it was somehow tied up inside Trevor Lewis.
The kiss was fire and heat and pulsing pleasure. I’d never been kissed like that before. If I thought Friday night was amazing, this here, right now, blew that out of the water.
Sure, it could be because he had no shirt on and I was practically naked. It could have been because every single inch of me was pressed against him. It could have been the sun shining down on us, warming already heated skin. Or it could have been the call of the birds as they flew over the dam, making us feel alive.
It could have been all of those things that made me squirm and want to get so close to Trevor that I was willing to do things I’d never contemplated with anyone else.
But it was more than that.
I kissed him fiercely, wanting him to feel what was inside me. Wondering what it would feel like to have him inside me.
He finally pulled away and smoothed a long piece of my hair back from my face and tucked it behind my ear. He shuddered and pulled me in close, so close that his heart sounded as if it was going to beat right out of his chest.
I knew that this was something more than just a summer fling. A hookup.
I thought of what Hales had told me only a week ago.
Do you believe in love at first sight?
Was that what this was? Love? The beginning of love? Was it possible that I was falling in love with Trevor Lewis? Or was this just plain old lust?
Startled, I moved slightly because I needed to see his eyes. Needed to see what was there.
Needed to see if I’d recognize whatever it was.
“Hey,” he said gruffly, hands still in my hair, though his expression was kind of pained. “I’m not kissing you again.”
Okay. That’s not what I’d been expecting to hear.
“Why?” I asked without thinking.
He attempted a smile. “This might be the ego talking, but I’m pretty sure that if I kiss you again…”
He shifted a bit, and suddenly I was aware that his body had changed. That things might not be so easy for him, you know, being a guy and all.
This was the moment where I could have said Screw you, universe. I’m going to do what feels good and right and…
“What if I want you to kiss me again?” I asked, watching him closely.
We both knew that I wasn’t talking about just a kiss.
“Right here? Right now?” he answered. “That’s what you want?”
We stared at each other for a long time, and then I shuddered, letting him pull me back into a hug.
“We’ve got all summer,” he said, voice a little rough. “To figure things out.”
“Thanks,” I murmured.
He kissed the top of my head. “For what?”
“For not thinking I’m a total freak. For not being pissed at the way I’ve been acting since Sunday, and for coming out here to find me.”
“You might not thank me when you find out the diabolical reason I came looking for you.”
“Diabolical. That sounds serious.”
“Dinner at my house can be a pretty serious thing, though that usually depends on Taylor’s mood, and since she’s still grounded, it’s not looking great. But,” he said, arching his back slightly so that I could see him, “my mom’s famous fajitas?”
That was pretty much all it took. That and the fact that I wanted to float in this boy’s orbit for as long as I could. Trevor Lewis was exactly what I needed.
“Fajitas sound perfect.”