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Cade
Twenty (ish) years later...
I SLAMMED MY truck door shut and headed into the house my brothers and I were currently remodeling. It was a 1920s Craftsman in downtown Vancouver, and it was going to be a stunner when we were done with it.
My brother, Cullen, pulled up right behind me, giving me a giant grin as he jogged up the walkway. “Morning.”
I rolled my eyes. “It is, in fact, morning. Well done.”
He chuckled. “Wrong side of the bed this morning?”
Cullen was thirty-five and had married his high-school sweetheart as soon as she turned eighteen. She’d died two years later, and yet, the man was always happy. He swore he’d never marry anyone because Elizabeth was it for him, but he wasn’t bitter. I had no fuckin’ clue how he could be so happy, especially considering the shit we’d all been through, but he was.
“You could say that,” I grumbled.
Between my ex, Diana, fuckin’ with our kid’s head, not to mention, fuckin’ with mine, and the nightmares I still had on occasion due to my PTSD from war, sleep was never great, but last night, my dreams were filled with the pretty blue-eyed, curly-headed girl I’d never been able to shake.
Stupid teenage dreams that were so fuckin’ far from reality, I needed to figure out a way to shut them down.
My brother squeezed my shoulder. “Why so glum, chum?”
“Just sick of Diana fuckin’ with Devon,” I said, leaving out the rest.
Cullen sighed. “Yeah, that’s not cool. Whatever you need, brother.”
“Thanks.” I glanced around. “Where’s Cam?”
Our other brother, Cameron, was thirty and fucked anything with a skirt. It was becoming a problem because he wasn’t great at picking women. They were all crazy, and a little scary.
“He’s helping Con down at the shop.”
Our eldest brother, Connor, owned an auto shop in Beaverton, and if we weren’t as busy, Cameron would help out down there. Actually, we all did. Connor was part of a local motorcycle club, and he went by “Hatch” these days, although, none of us called him that. Not even our sister, Cricket, who was a fixture at the club compound and his shop.
When my mom died of cancer, and Dad got sent upstate for murder, Con had taken custody of all of us in order to keep us all together. This had all gone down during my senior year of high school, so the second I graduated and turned eighteen, I’d headed into the Army. By the time I’d finished three tours, I’d gotten Diana knocked up while on leave, so we’d gotten married because I always did the right thing. Twenty-four and about to become a father, I thought I’d hit the lottery, but then after my fourth tour, I came home to a wife who’d fucked everyone on the base, and then some, and a little boy who was severely neglected.
I’d divorced her ass and filed for full custody, which I was informed I wouldn’t get until I left the Army. I should have left sooner, but the military was all I knew. When Connor decided to move out of San Diego and up to Oregon, I used it as a way to escape. We always followed Connor and we probably always would, even if it was into hell.
I was still fighting for full custody, even though Diana was on her third husband. She was a bitch on wheels and using my son as leverage and child support checks. Devon was currently living with Connor while I remodeled the house I’d just bought. I was sleeping in an RV on the property which wasn’t conducive to raising a fourteen-year-old who’d just started high-school. I’d already filed the paperwork for full custody and Devon was old enough to choose who he wanted to live with, so it was almost a done deal.
I sighed. “Okay, let’s get to it, then.”
The rest of my crew arrived twenty minutes later, and we got down to business. There was a shit ton of work and not a lot of time to do it in, which suited me just fine.
* * *
The next day, Connor walked through his front door and growled, “What the hell is that?”
I was currently sitting at his table, drinking a beer while checking invoices on my laptop. I set the beer down and grinned. “This is a dog.”
“That is not a dog.”
The furball in question was currently waddling over to Connor and yipped at him. “Seriously, Cade, what the fuck?”
“Got out to the site this morning to find them dumped—”
“Them?”
“Dad!” Devon called.
I turned in my chair. “Yeah, bud?”
“I can’t keep them in the box.” He rushed into the room, carrying a wad of matching puppies. “They’re all escaping.”
“Fuck me,” Connor ground out. “You brought them here?”
“We couldn’t leave them there to die,” I said.
The furball at Connor’s feet was done being ignored, so it tugged on the hem of his jeans... with its mouth. It growled, baring its teeth and my brother dropped his head back and took a deep breath. The puppy barked, and Connor bent down and scooped the little guy up, receiving a face full of puppy tongue for his efforts.
“Can’t resist the little fucker, huh?” I said.
Connor held the puppy closer. “Some asshole just dumped five puppies?”
“In a paper bag, yeah, but there should be six.” I rose to my feet. “Cullen, you got one?”
“Yeah, man,” he called back. “Little shit just pissed on me.”
Connor chuckled. “Like ’em already.”
“Dev and I stopped by the pet store and grabbed food and bowls for ’em, but we’ll probably need to take ’em to a shelter or somethin’ tomorrow.”
“Knight can look ’em over,” Connor said. Knight was one of Connor’s MC brothers. He was a vet and would be able to hook us up with an adoption service as well. “He’ll probably be able to take care of their shots, then get them farmed out or whatever.”
“We’re not keeping them?” Devon asked.
“What are we going to do with a fru-fru dog, Dev?” I asked.
He pulled his three close to his chin. “I don’t know, Dad, love it?” he replied, sarcastically.
“We’ll talk about gettin’ a dog when we have a place of our own, sound good?”
Devon frowned. “Whatever.”
Connor dropped his keys on the counter and carried his puppy out to the backyard. The rest of us followed and watched as six little cotton balls waddled around marking their territory.
“I’m gonna go change,” Cullen said, and walked back in the house.
“Where’s Cam?” Connor asked.
“Chick,” I answered. “What about you? Seems like you’re gettin’ in deep.”
Connor nodded. Connor had just met what I was pretty sure was going to be the love of his life. Maisie Mann was British, blonde, cute as a button (from the pictures I’d seen), and came with a twelve-year-old daughter who’d wrapped my brother around her little finger.
I raised an eyebrow. “Does that mean we’re gonna meet this Maisie woman?”
“Yeah, man. Soon.”
I grinned. “Like that, Con.”
I spent the rest of the evening hanging with my brothers and decided to stay overnight since I had to check on a job close to Connor’s place in the morning.
This fact gave me a chance to catch up with Devon, and I needed to connect with my kid. With the quality time in place, I made a couple bowls of popcorn then Devon and I sat down to watch a movie.
I dragged myself to bed just past eleven, but sleep did not come easy.
* * *
“Hey,” Navy said as she reached for my arm. “Are you okay?”
I shook my head. It was just before lunch, and we were standing at her locker. It was the end of my junior year, almost prom, and I felt like my world was imploding.
“What’s wrong?” she asked, shoving her bag into her locker.
“Mom has cancer.”
She let out a quiet hiss and wrapped her arms around my waist. “Oh my god, Lumpy, when did you find out?”
I pulled her close, dropping my chin to her head. I still hadn’t landed on a nickname for her, but she sure as hell had for me. ‘Pineapple Lump,’ which had been shortened to Lumpy, was apparently her favorite candy from New Zealand and it was one of the few things she missed about home.
“Yesterday. Dad’s convinced she’s going to beat it, but I’m not so sure.”
She slid her arms up my back. “She’ll beat it. She’s fighting for you and your siblings, there’s no way she won’t.”
“I’m scared, Navy,” I whispered.
“I don’t blame you.” She leaned back to meet my eyes. “But I’m here and I won’t ever leave you.”
I smiled. “Thanks, snickerdoodle.”
“What’s a snickerdoodle?”
“It’s a cinnamon sugar cookie.”
She wrinkled her nose. “No.”
I cocked my head. “Why, no?”
“Because it’s not chocolate, therefore it’s inferior.” She patted my chest. “Try again.”
I rolled my eyes. “Fine. Come on, let’s get you fed.”
“We can skip prom if you want to,” she said as we walked hand-in-hand down the hall.
“No way in hell. Mom would have my hide. Plus, I’m going with the prettiest girl in school, so I want to show her off.” She let out a quiet snort but before she could say something negative about herself, I squeezed her hand. “Don’t you dare disagree with me. Nobody talks negatively about my girl.”
She blushed. “So bossy.”
“You have no idea.”
“I’m learning, Lumpy, I’m learning.”
I grinned and led her into the cafeteria.
* * *
Navy
As I pulled over to the side of the road where the neighborhood’s mailboxes were housed, I couldn’t stop a smile as I watched the reds and blues play off the sky as the sun set.
I loved my little home, not to mention, the weather, which was so much like New Zealand’s. It was a balm to a teenager’s heart that had never fully healed. Forcing away my melancholy, I grabbed my mail, excited to see a package from my best friend in the world, Nicola.
I jumped back into my car and drove the hundred feet to my house, pulling into my garage. I gathered my mail and walked inside, grabbing a pair of scissors to open the box from ‘Cola.’ I powered up my laptop, setting it on my kitchen table, then putting in a video call.
“Is that my darling cunt of a best friend?” Nicola answered on the second ring.
“Hi, lovely.” I held up the box. “What have you done?”
“I wasn’t going to let your birthday go without sending you a care package. My poor, darling friend surrounded by all those Yanks, and no peanut slabs or Gingernuts at the ready.”
“You sent peanut slabs?” I squealed, ripping open the box.
I dumped my treats onto the table (carefully, in case there was something fragile), then began to paw at it like the animal I was.
“Aw, babes, you got me chocolate fish!”
“Of course, I got you chocolate fish. You were born, you make my life worth living, therefore, well done, you get chocolate fish.”
I laughed, neatly stacking everything on the table next to me. I started to name them, “Toffee Pops, Choysa tea, Milky Bars, Peanut Slabs, my favorite.”
“Duh,” Nicola retorted.
“Mackintosh’s Toffees, Scorched Almond, Marmite... oh,” I rasped.
“Oh?”
A sudden, sharp pain sliced through my heart.
“...and Pineapple Lumps.”
“Your other favorite,” Nicola said.
“Yep,” I said, trying to keep the tears at bay.
“Are you crying?”
I nodded, now unable to stop the onslaught.
“Why are you crying, love?”
“I just miss you like crazy, and this was just so unbelievably sweet, and I want to wrap my arms around you and hug you forever.”
All of this was true, but the tears had very little to do with her, and everything to do with the man I still dreamed of almost every night. If I was truly honest with myself, he was probably the biggest reason I didn’t move back to New Zealand. I could argue with myself and say it was because I loved the Pacific Northwest and the life I’d built for myself, but it would all be a lie. Because Cade still existed in my heart. Maybe, just maybe, one day I’d have the courage to find him and reach out. If I moved back home, I’d never do it.
“I miss you too,” Nicola said. “I think I need to plan a trip there, or you need to come here.”
I sighed. “That would be amazing. I haven’t thought about coming back, since... well, since Mum died.”
My mother had lost her battle with the bottle six years ago, and my grief had been complicated because I’d already grieved the loss of her well before she died, so when she finally did, it was kind of a formality, if you will.
If it hadn’t been for my stepfather, Jim, I don’t know how I would have been able to navigate my newfound turmoil, let alone the world in general.
My mother had met James Henderson right before my junior year of high school. They’d fallen madly in love and Jim had taken me in like I was his own. Mom got pregnant with my brother, Reed, when I turned sixteen, just after Jim had been offered a job serving on the Washington Wildlife Committee as the Chief of Conservation up in Seattle, Washington.
I bit back sadness at the year that had framed my whole life. Cade Wallace’s mom had died of cancer, and his dad had been locked up after killing a man in some sort of underground fight club. Cade had enlisted into the Army right after that, and we’d had to say goodbye to each other, promising to write, but all my letters had gone without response, so I gave up after six months.
He’d been my first, and quite frankly, only love, and as much as I’d been able to move on, it still hurt on occasion.
And the Pineapple Lumps brought everything back.
In spades.
“I think it might be a good idea for you to come back. It might be really healing for you,” Nicola said. “If you come in the summer, we can spend the whole time in the water.”
“Not sure I’m willing to give up my American winter, but maybe I can come in April?”
“Whatever, Trevor, just come.”
I laughed. “That sounds amazing. Let me get through these next few weeks at work and then we’ll talk.”
“Really?” she asked, hopefully.
“Yes. If you think Brendan won’t mind?”
Nicola and Brendan had been married for almost ten years, they had two amazing kids, and were living their best life ever.
“Brendan will be so excited, are you kidding me?”
“Then, yes.” I smiled through my tears. “You’re right. I need to come home.”
She clapped, letting out a hoot of laughter. “We’re going to have so much fun.”
“I can’t wait.”
“Right, darling, I need to get a snack for the kids. They’ll be home from school soon.”
“Okay.” I sighed. “Thank you, Cola. Seriously, this was such a lovely surprise.”
“Of course, my love. Happy early birthday.”
“Thank you.”
“Talk soon,” she said, then rang off.
I closed my laptop, gathered my treats, then moved them onto the kitchen counter, the Pineapple Lumps on top.
I suddenly couldn’t breathe, sinking to my knees as I burst into tears.
I rushed to class, trying to keep my tears at bay. I was almost late, which was probably a good thing because I just couldn’t deal with seeing Cade right now.
By the time the lunch bell rang, I felt sick to my stomach, but Cade was waiting for me outside of my class, so I had no choice but to gird up my loins.
“Hey,” he said, smiling as he kissed my cheek.
“Hi.”
“What’s wrong?”
I shook my head, looking up at him.
“Jesus, Navy, what happened?”
“We’re moving.”
“Moving?” Cade frowned. “Where?”
“Seattle.”
“What?” he rasped.
I nodded. “Jim’s been offered his dream job, and it will give us everything we want.”
Cade pulled me against him as I lost my control on my tears.
“But all I want is you,” I whispered, burying my face in his chest.
“When?” he asked.
“Mum said they’re going to wait a few weeks, but what’s a few weeks going to change?” I met his eyes again. “My heart won’t be any less broken.”
He slid his fingers down my cheek. “We’re just going to have to make it count.”
“I don’t want to go.”
“I don’t want you to go, either,” he said.
I sighed. “I still have one more year. I guess, you graduate in a few months, so I’d be here next year without you, but I thought we still had more time.”
“Yeah.”
“What are we going to do?” I asked.
“I don’t know. I’ll talk to my parents. Maybe I can go to college up there.”
––––––––
But that had all been a pipedream. His mother had died before he’d graduated, blowing up any notions we may have had to be reunited. He enlisted and I never heard from him again.
