As Ada and I tidy up the holiday cultural area of my store, I explain how including La Befana with Papa Noel is important to me now. I’ve always had the Cajun “Daddy Christmas” items displayed because they sell out each year. The image of a Southern Santa traveling by pirogue with eight alligators pulling him on the Mississippi River on Christmas Eve is adorable for people of any age. I mean, who could resist, right?
But now that I’ve read about La Befana in Patsy’s journal, then Googled it to death of course, I need to represent her in my store. I’ll be able to leave her items out longer because, technically, this Christmas witch—don’t worry, she’s a good witch—brings gifts to children on the night of January 5th for “Little Christmas” the next day.
“The story goes,” I tell Ada, “La Befana said she was too busy to travel with the Magi to give gifts to Jesus the night he was born. She realized weeks later that she should’ve gone, but it was too late. So, she took her broom from doing housework and flew around to shower the children with the gifts she would have given Baby Jesus.”
“Oh really now? Well, ain’t that somethin’?”
“I agree. When I read about the tradition, I knew we had to have something in the store about La Befana.”
Ada looks up from arranging the stack of books and dolls about Papa Noel and La Befana. “Now that I know about her, I’ll take good care of her here.” She pats one of the dolls on the head and carefully adjusts the items to look enticing to buyers, most importantly being at the height of a child.
“Thanks, Ada. I can always count on you.”
“Well, now that this business may just be saved, I think I can spend a little of this paycheck you gave me for Christmas gifts.”
“As I said this morning, we can’t bet on it, but it’s my Christmas wish, and we may be getting closer.” I force a grin.
“There’s only death and taxes to bet on in life.” She smirks.
“You’re seldom wrong, and right again, Ada.”
“Good. Now that’s settled,” she says with a giggle.
I finally updated her on the historical landmarks details but not yet on Nate. “You know, I never told you I ran into Nate at the boat parade last night.”
She stops in her tracks and stares into my eyes. “Do tell, sweetie.”
“There’s nothing much to tell…except that my parents had him in their grips.” I laugh and look down.
“I doubt that, those nice people.”
“Well, they ran into him there, and of course my mom ate it up. The gleam in her eyes conveyed nothing but wedding bells and honeymoons.” I put my head in my hands.
“Oh, now leave your mama alone.”
My stacking of colorful gift bags and raffia we use for purchases ceases. “I am. But I’m just so confused about him. When I see him lately, I’m sucked into the parts of the past I like. Yet, he’s the one who ruined all of my relationships since that time, plus is causing hell now.”
“Wait just a second there. You can’t go on blaming that man for your other relationships.”
My heart jumps. “Ada, every single man I’ve dated since him has been a failed relationship. One after the other. And none of them have understood the meaning of my store either. Like, the biggest part of me. Only Nate understood that part of me, ever. How can I—someone who’s exploding with passion for the spiritual—not ever end up dating people who appreciate my store and comprehend the love I have of the otherworldly things I treasure since him? It’s strange, but I’ve just never been lucky in love, not since Nate determined my path at such a young age anyway. He cursed me.”
Ada looks around the store, then back at me. “Who invited me to the pity party?”
“Huh?” My eyes widen as big as my head.
“I can’t be hearin’ these words comin’ out of your mouth, because you’re way too smart for them. This Nate broke your heart, yes. But he did not determine your dating life. That was all you, I hate to tell ya.”
“I, I never…” I don’t know how to even finish the sentence. Heaviness spreads on my shoulders.
“You are a responsible young lady, so take responsibility here.”
Her sternness provides me a second of humor and a moment of relief in my upper body. “Ada, sorry. I’ve never heard you so fired up.”
“I don’t want you to continue puttin’ Nate in a category he doesn’t deserve. You never know who may be just what you need.”
“What? Oh, slow down there. He’s the enemy, remember?” I even try to remember at this point, but am reminded when I look around at what I’ve built. How can feelings be so mixed and fluctuating?
“I don’t know… Maybe my first impression was wrong about the fella.” Her tone rises, and she struts to the front window.
What’s she picking up on with Nate? Is she in my jumbled brain now? Last I thought, she disliked him right along with me. Hmm. I tilt my head. Maybe that was just her protective nature rearing its head when she first met him, and she has a feeling of something different now. She didn’t let me know anything, that sneaky little lady.
Do I falsely blame Nate for my dating woes? I think back on the list of men in my dating history, leaning on the counter for support. Jeez, I guess I could have chosen the wrong guys all on my own and not from my first boyfriend’s fabricated curse. I mean, that is a possibility.
I knew almost right away with Ian that he didn’t support my beliefs and, therefore, the nature of my store, yet I pushed away the sense of rejection. Something in me wanted to prove that I could have a good relationship with someone despite the difference of opinion, as long as he respected me, because it was never an issue with Nate. There had to be more people out there who could like me for me, including my perceived eccentricities. I just hadn’t found anyone else yet, so I kept up my tough-girl act and hoped he’d change. None of them ever did, though.
All the saging and specific intentions sent into the universe never changed my dating fortune either, so what else could I do but…make up a story that took the fault off of me? The one area of my life that I think of as damaged could be that way because of yours truly? Oh, wow.
Letting go of the old belief would be a doozy. I like to blame Nate for everything. I mean, he’s the reason for not having world peace, I’m sure!
Okay, this needs to be digested. Fighting a queasy pang in my stomach with that thought, I look up and see none other than Patsy at the front door. Perfect timing.
Ada can see if I talk to her, which now I know looks like talking to air, so I better go to the storage room. I make eye contact with Patsy, then move my eyes toward the back of the store. Please catch my drift, Patsy, and follow me there.
“Be right back, Ada.” I walk to the back and wait.
Patsy appears. I shut the door and whisper, “Hey, Patsy. Nice to see you. What brings you here today?”
“Hi, Doll. I wanted to see how you are doing.” Her eyes are bright and welcoming while her rosy cheeks glow.
“I’m doing fine. You know, there’s been so much going on, but generally, all is good.” I can’t get into the tsunami of feelings hitting me. “Zyndell, our historian, found the names of your old friends from your journal in documents about the lynching!” My face switches from wide eyes and a smile for our achievement to downward-turned lips over the course of one statement.
“That’s wonderful news. But I think there is more to tell me?” Nothing gets by Patsy.
“Yes. He can’t find anything showing they lived in these buildings. But the commission has started their research as well, so I think someone has to find something. They weren’t ghosts.” I suck in air after my last word.
Patsy laughs. “Oh, Doll, don’t concern yourself with using that word. It’s not disgraceful, after all.”
“I know you’re technically a ghost. It’s just weird to say the word to one—I mean, you.” Words are getting more tangled by the second.
“Yes, I’m dead, but I’m also in a great place, so I cannot complain. Being a ghost is fine by me.” Patsy throws her hands in the air and looks up with a smile.
“Oh good.” Phew. “I can’t be insulting my elder. My extreme elder. What kind of a great-great-great-granddaughter would I be?” I laugh. “Anyway, do you know anything that could help us? Maybe you know where Zyndell can look for proof of those men’s addresses.”
“There was not much written in those days, as there is now. There were barely names written of people on the lemon boats.” She looks off to the side as if in thought.
“Lemon boats?” I’ve never heard that phrase.
“Yes, that’s what the ships were called that brought us here to America. It was an informal name that stuck because many of us grew lemons. Capisce?”
“Now what’s that word?” My eyes grow big.
She answers me, “It means do you understand?”
“Isn’t that ironic?” I grin. “Okay, sorry. Back to trying to think how we can find those guys. Too bad the lemon boat wouldn’t help.”
“Yes.” After a pause, she says, “How about papers from where they worked? All of them must have had jobs, which would have needed their addresses.” She winks.
“That’s a great idea! I bet you’re right that their addresses would be on employment documents. I’ll let Zyndell and the group know asap.”
She nods and says, “I’m happy to help. It is why I’m here.”
“And I’m glad. We’re so close to finding all that we need for this case that I can taste it. Patsy, there’s only three weeks left until the sale is final.” I grit my teeth.
“Oh dear. Yes, that is soon. I will be praying for our home. And the other buildings, too.” Patsy puts her hands together in prayer form.
“Thanks so much. Well, I better get back to Ada. I feel bad I haven’t seen her that much lately. I’m going to have to give her a week off or something.” I push my mouth to the side and tsk.
“She seems like a terrific person and friend. I am glad she is in your life.” Patsy angles her head.
“I am, too. And you! I love that we can work on this project together and that I’m getting to know you more…and you’re getting to know me, uh…more.” I put my hands on my hips and puff out my chest. “We have a lifetime of catching up to do. Your lifetime.”
Patsy looks down but smiles. “I will let you go now. You are a busy woman, I know. Bye, Doll.”
“Okay, bye.” She disappears right after my words escape my lips. I get a sense that Patsy doesn’t want to talk about the future. Why would that be?
I don’t have time to focus on the far ahead future either right now. I have to stay present-minded, especially these days. One foot in front of the other, and day by day. Sometimes, second by second. I take a deep breath and open the door to go back into the main room of my store so I can text everyone about the new idea.