The device you see illustrated overleaf is of a model from a slightly later design, the screw catch having been improved upon from an earlier innovation of a simple repeating hole lock. This new modernisation allows for greater alteration in tightness to suit the individual’s needs and girth. I must offer a cautious counsel to any buyer against tightening the ring too greatly on first use, as the teeth can inflict serious damage on the wearer if the device is misused. This alteration to the design will allow you to pinpoint with greater accuracy the exact circumference needed to act as deterrent, without damage to your second most important organ – the first, of course, being one’s mind. Through proper attention and under medical advisement, I believe pollution rings to be a most ingenious and successful solution to the disease of spermatorrhoea. I have heard suggestions that the device is of potential favour amongst those of a religious ilk. However, I would request most strongly that it is only ever to be used for medical matters and with the instruction of the proper authorities.

It has been theorised that there are those who see another use for these devices, one that turns pain into pleasure. I have a limited understanding of such actions, although I do believe there are greater authorities than myself within our illustrious society and perhaps it is to their knowledge you should now turn.