By the time I get home, my little feeling of indigestion has turned into a full-on anxiety burp, and Mum can sense it immediately.
“What’s up?”
I could try to hide things from her, but there’s no point.
“I told Erin that I didn’t want her to do my makeup anymore.”
Mum’s eyes disappear into the back of her head.
“And how did she react to that?”
“She was so upset, I thought she might cry.” I sigh. “I think she thought she was doing my makeup forever and now she’ll have to tell people that she’s not. The thing is, I don’t think I promised her anything.”
“Millie! Let’s get a few things straight about how the professional world works,” Mum says seriously. “She re-established herself using an established brand. Classic technique. She used you. This is what happens when you’re famous! You get hangers-on!”
I think it’s called “support staff.” She was only trying to help, but I let Mum carry on.
“It’s called people who want you for what you are, not WHO you are. It’s been a problem for years. Celebrities surround themselves with ‘yes’ people, and the next thing you know, they are releasing an album full of their dog barking. That said, I can see why she’s upset.”
I can, too. Surprisingly, I can easily put myself in Erin’s shoes. I’d be disappointed and hurt, and inside, because of this, I’m still struggling with the fact that I might have not done the right thing. I know if I confess all this to Mum she’ll be honest with me.
“Do you think I’m ungrateful, Mum?”
Mum looks at me and scratches her palm. This is a sign that she’s really thinking hard about what she is saying. She’s told me that she had a brain like mine. Packed full of meaty worries. I reorganize my school bag when I’m thinking and she scratches itches that don’t really exist.
She puts her arm around me.
“Not ungrateful. You are ruthless, Millie. You are more sure of who you are than you think you are.” Mum checks herself. “Does that make sense? Yes?”
I nod. I think I am sure of myself, but I have no idea how I feel about this fact. I will have to sleep on it.
Mum continues. “Perhaps you’ve got a natural business brain. That’s what you need to survive. Erin offered her services. You used them, they weren’t for you, and you rejected her. That’s the business world. That happens EVERY day in every corner of the world.”
I think Mum has forgotten I’m still in school and not an executive at an office.
Also? I think Danny has forgotten I actually exist.