I find Granddad in the place he loves the most: his shed. He has made it a potting paradise again. It’s almost like I never ever vlogged here. There’s a few fairy lights left over a shelf. Granddad is staring at a tiny sapling. I think he might be talking to it, as I hear him whispering, but he stops when I come in.
“Hello, Millie,” he says with his beautiful crinkly grin. “I was just telling this thing it’s doing a good job growing. People might think I’m nuts, but if it’s not hurting you and it’s not hurting anyone else, I say you can do as you like.”
I stand beside him and put my arm on his shoulder.
“Granddad—everyone is going!” I moan.
Granddad gives me a tiny hug. It’s a strong one, though.
“I bet it feels that way, Millie, but let me give you a very important piece of advice. What’s for you won’t go by you. You haven’t had a disaster. You’ve had life, Millie. People come and go. And they find a way to stay, too. Sometimes whether you like it or not. When your gran died, she told me to water the plants in the kitchen. They were plastic. She knew what she was doing. There’s a way to stay in someone’s life even when you’re not around. You’re going to have lots of loss. I won’t be here forever.”
I wish old people wouldn’t go on about death so much. It really makes me feel sick.
“If people are here”—he points to his heart and thumps it—“then that’s where they are, and that’s where they stay. And that’s as soppy as I get, my girl, so go and do some of that thing you do. Teresa showed me. You’re good at it.”
I love my granddad. My relationship with him is so pure and lovely, even when he is a sexist dinosaur. My relationship with my dad is weirder. He comes and he goes, but he’s in my heart and he’ll never leave. It feels the same way with Mum and Dave.
Can I be honest? I don’t think it’s going to be the same with Danny. Do we really get each other?
Maybe I’m expecting too much. There’s no perfect match in the world—that doesn’t exist. Shut up, Millie. He’s handsome, he’s funny, he’s different. He’s still going.
I check my vlog again. I have lots of views now.
Why do so many women want to settle down? There’s more to life than relationships. Education! Travel! PETS. Dave your cat is incredible. Focus on him.
EscapadeDreams is clearly my mum. She’s pretended she doesn’t know Dave is a “she” to make it look more realistic. How many profiles can one woman have?!
She’s right, though. I won’t tell her that, but she is.