When I get to Granddad’s house, Teresa is waiting by the front door and waving excitedly. It’s good to get silly Teresa back. Since she’s been into medicine, she’s been all about hemorrhagic fevers and mosquitoes. She beckons me into the front room. She looks at me nervously. I can see she is dying to tell me something.
“You know we were talking about your vlog being a bit too serious? I thought about that. I have found a way to totally open up a side of yourself that other people haven’t seen. It introduces vulnerability, yet your strength and your humor, too.”
I stare at her suspiciously. “Have you seen my vlog recently? I’m doing loads of funny stuff. I’ve decided funny is me—a bit.”
Teresa starts to look sheepish. “No, I haven’t seen it. I’ve been too busy working out a strategy for you. I was thinking of something extra-fun for your fans.”
“They’re not fans. They are subscribers,” I say firmly. I can’t deal with having “fans.” Too heavy on my head.
“Anyway,” Teresa continues, “I hope I’ve done the right thing. I was going through a really old phone and I spotted a video I made from about eight years ago. When you were little.”
My stomach goes full washing-machine.
“It was so cute, I just uploaded it onto your vlog! You were still logged in to my laptop. I’ve done the right hashtags and everything!”
Breathe, Millie. That’s what my brain says. Finally, my mouth works.
“You’ve put it on my vlog page?”
Teresa looks down and shifts from side to side. “Yeah, it’s that time at Christmas.”
My eyes go wide. Please no. Please NO!
How can one woman cause so much damage in forty minutes?! Teresa can read my reaction. She grabs hold of my arms and pleads, “I was just thinking of you, Millie! I thought people would see you in a whole new way!”
I open up my phone, and there it is. Teresa has even labeled it to fit in with what I do.
#Help me, I’ve dropped the baby Jesus and Mary is understandably furious at me.
Teresa starts to do that thing when you know someone is going to be furious at you. She starts blurting out a really poor defense of her actions with a fake smile.
“You had one job in the nativity play! Just to pass the baby Jesus to Mary. And you dropped it! Incredible scenes, Millie. I still think about it! You’ve already got lots of views!”
I surprise myself. I can’t get cross. I know Teresa hasn’t got a malicious bone in her entire skeleton. It is very embarrassing, but it’s a bit funny, too. Also, it’s Sarah Browning as the Angel Gabriel telling me off for dropping the doll. She was horrible to everyone when she was six. I don’t suppose it matters if the world knows me as the cat girl who drops babies.
“You’re not angry, are you, Millie?”
Teresa breaks my train of thought. I tell her I’m not, give her a hug, and log myself out of her laptop. I also realize I need to change all my passwords to things that she could never, ever guess. Dave1 was a bit weak. I promise Teresa that I’ll come and see her and Granddad tomorrow. I’ve got nothing else to do. My boyfriend is up a tree, my mum is in love, and my best friend is trying to get on Broadway with a musical based on my cat.
Everything is completely normal.
The last few months have been crazy. I don’t think I can handle another big emotional thing. I need the opposite. Someone factual and down to earth.
I text Bradley.
Coffee?
Bradley gets back to me straightaway.
Yes! Come to mine.