When I get home, Mum is singing Celine Dion songs with Rod. They don’t notice me at first because they are too busy belting out the theme from Titanic. I walk into the lounge just as they are wailing that their hearts will go on. When Mum sees me, she tries to pick me up and spin me around. Lauren runs in and there’s a semi–group hug thing going on within seconds.
It’s great, but inside of me I am feeling very quivery. I ask to talk to Mum on my own.
“Mum.” I sigh. “I’m just going to say this. Part of me doesn’t want to go. Every time I think about flying, vlogging abroad, and even seeing Danny, I feel like I’m going to puke. My head goes dizzy. I feel like I can’t breathe. I feel…”
“You’re having a little panic attack,” Mum says very matter-of-factly, “and that’s completely normal. This is a huge thing for someone with a brain like yours. And like mine. I’m nervous, too. But I know if we don’t go, we’ll regret it forever! It’s a free weekend trip abroad. You’ll be with me! And Danny!”
“I can’t even tell him,” I say. “He’s with some uncle who is off the grid. Do I vlog it now, or wait, or—”
“Take a deep breath, close your eyes for five seconds, and vlog it now!” Mum yells. “It’s YOUR trip. YOU have earned it. Let’s enjoy it. Commit to it now! Do it, Mills! Danny will be thrilled when he finds out!”
Mum always makes me feel better. She drives me mad but, essentially, she is magnificent. I punch the air and run upstairs. I can do this. I can TOTALLY do this. I think.
I collect Dave from underneath the radiator and go to my desk.