When I wake up the next day, I feel a bit better. It’s nice to be back in my own bed, and I feel like I can cope with life a bit more. I feel like I could even vlog. I go downstairs to check my phone, but then something very strange happens.
Mum karate-chops it away from my hands.
“What are you doing?” I shout.
Mum looks down. “Millie, I had a glass of wine last night and it made me feel a bit brave. I did something. I think it was the right thing to do, but … have a look!”
Mum holds up my phone.
It’s on my vlogging account and there’s a new upload on it that I didn’t do.
Mum grimaces and presses PLAY. The video starts. It’s Mum sitting on the couch with Dave. She starts talking.
Hashtag Hello! Sorry, I mean Hashtag Help! Hello, it’s Millie’s mum here. Look, Millie is a bit upset. Can I be candid? She and Danny have broken up. There was no drama. There was no infidelity. They were just two young people who live miles away from each other.
Look, I’m old-fashioned, but generally in relationships it’s really good to be able to see people. To hug them. To kiss them. To talk to them. This (she points to the phone) world is great, but you need to catch some germs, people!!
Loads of you are going to be terrified of the real world. I was hospitalized with anxiety when I was young. It’s not a new thing to be scared, you know. And things don’t always work out with boys. Or girls. Gay or straight, it doesn’t matter. If other humans are involved, it can get messy.
Dave and I get each other, don’t we, Dave?
Mum strokes Dave—and pulls a disgusted face at the amount of hair that she pulls out, but carries on.
Anyway. That’s it. My daughter is lovely. Leave comments if you like, but I’m not going to read them. I’ve got a new boyfriend, and I go back to work in a few days.
Mum stares at me. I think she wants me to say something, but I don’t know what to say. Then, all of a sudden, I go off like a volcano and my lava starts to flow.