As we pull into the drive, Lauren is waiting for us at the front door. She flings herself at me as I get out of the car and starts to talk.
“Millie! Are you okay?! Are you all right? Are you okay, Mum? I mean, Millie’s mum. I’ve been doing loads of research, and stroke victims really benefit from gentle brain activity. Oh, I told you that, didn’t I? Anyway, the point is—”
Lauren forgets what her own point is. Then remembers.
“The point is THIS!”
Lauren unfurls a giant poster with a huge grin.
“THIS! This is—”
At this point, Mum interrupts her. “Lauren darling, is there any possibility we can actually get inside the house? If I don’t have a cup of coffee soon, we’ll need to call another ambulance.”
Lauren looks at her feet. “Sorry, hospitals make me nervous. Even the thought of them.”
I give Lauren a huge hug and we go inside. Mum torpedoes toward the kettle and Lauren and I head to the bedroom. Lauren is overexcited. She is flapping her hands about with her poster and it catches me in the eye. She doesn’t notice, and I don’t say anything as I know she’s just being Lauren and trying to make me feel better.
“So, Millie, this is IT. This is how we get your pops back on track. This is … THE PERIODIC TABLE!”
Lauren unfurls her poster and points at random chemical elements. “We make your granddad learn a chemical element thing every day. We start simple! Ca for Calcium. Ra for Radium. And then we get harder and harder till we get to stuff that I can’t even pronounce. Like, Ye … Ye…”
Lauren gives up. It says “Yttrium.” I can’t help her. I just nod. Lauren carries on with her speech.
“And other really hard ones like Pr, Praseodymium! I googled that one and just said it perfectly. THIS, Millie, is the perfect rehabilitation. Why are you giggling, and why are you holding your face?”
I’m holding my face because the periodic table attacked my eyeball, but I keep quiet on this front.
“Sorry, Lauren,” I say. “It’s a great idea. I think I’m just laughing with relief and possibly hysterical tiredness. It’s all been a bit manic, hasn’t it?”
Lauren nods. “Yep! Your life has been like gymnastics on a roller coaster.”
I sigh. “That’s why I basically just told Lydia Portancia to get lost.”
Lauren goes very quiet. I think she must be in shock. Her silence worries me, so I try to reassure her.
“It’s not that bad, Lauren. There are other people who can help me. Do I even need people like her, anyway?”
Lauren looks up. “Sorry, Millie, I was just thinking if it’s even possible to do a somersault on a ride at Six Flags, and I’ve decided it’s definitely not unless you want to die.”
Planet Lauren means I have to repeat my news.
“I’ve sent a bit of an abrupt e-mail to Lydia Portancia.”
“Oh, GOOD!” Lauren shouts. “You went viral without her. Yes, she set up the Canada thing, but I bet your mum could have done that! And she wouldn’t take a percentage off you either. It would all go to college. Or clothes.”
Lauren winks at me. This has made me feel a lot better. Not the possibility of an increased wardrobe budget, but the fact that Lauren thinks that—
At this point my phone dings. It’s an e-mail from Lydia.
Hello Millie,
If there’s anything I can do to help, please, PLEASE get in touch.
Lydia xxxxxxx
Lauren makes her smug face. “Two pleases and SEVEN kisses. Who needs who, Millie?! That’s what you have to ask yourself. Treat them mean and keep them keen.”
“You totally got that off MUM, Lauren. That’s what she says about how you should treat boys.”
Lauren does a proud, wiggly walk all over the bedroom. “It works in many situations, my friend, as I have just proved!”
The way Lauren was talking, you would think SHE had written the e-mail in the first place. I go to make this point when I hear the doorbell. Lauren gets to the window first.
She pulls her “I’ve got some scandalous gossip” face and whispers as loud as a shout, “IT’S BRADLEY AND HIS DOG!!”
I try to act cool.
“So?” I actually DO whisper, “He’s JUST a friend.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Lauren says with a laugh. “You keep telling yourself that. Anyway, I’m going to help your mum make instant coffee.”
Lauren does a mad cackle and leaves my bedroom just as Bradley is coming up the stairs. Mum has already let him in. As Lauren passes him, she says, “Hi, Bradley! Hi, Dog!”
Lauren is not good with names sometimes. Bradley does not even acknowledge her. He won’t be happy that Huevos has just been referred to as “Dog.” I see him grimacing, but then, as soon as he sees me, this stops.
“Hello, Millie,” he says, smiling. “I’ve brought you something.”