Once everyone has arrived with their stuff, Miss Sweet explains that we have a long bus trip ahead of us. She says we should put our tents and pillows and sleeping bags in a pile so Mr. Bert, the bus driver, can store them in the compartment underneath the bus.

“Miss Sweet, I have a question,” Abby pipes up next to me. “I’m thinking about safety, and I’m sure you and Mr. Bert will do a great job looking after us, but I think it would be good to bring my dog, Steve, along on this trip. He’s a police dog, so he’ll be able to help protect us. Is that okay with you?”

Oh, no! I can’t stand that giant, disgusting dog.

“He’s not a police dog, Abby,” I say. “Just because your mom is a police officer doesn’t mean that horrible mutt is a police dog. He’s just your dog.”

“Abby, you can’t bring your dog on our camping trip, I’m sorry,” Miss Sweet says as she starts looking down a list to check everyone is here.

“But who will keep us safe?” Pip asks. My ears prick up at that. This is my chance.

I make my voice a little lower so I sound more manly.

Abby bursts out laughing.

“Are you girls worried about something in particular?” Miss Sweet is choosing to ignore me, it seems. “Why don’t you think you’re going to be safe?”

What?

Miss Sweet looks confused, as though she’s trying to work out what’s going on.

“Gunker what?” Mr. Bert asks.

Abby and Pip glance at each other, their eyebrows shooting upward.

If the girls looked nervous before, they look slightly terrified now.

“I don’t think I want to go on this trip, Miss Sweet,” Pip says.

“Yeah, I have a headache,” Abby says.

“Is it a migraine?” Pip asks.

“I think it’s a migraine,” Abby confirms. “Miss Sweet, I need to go home.”

Miss Sweet squats down in front of them. “Girls, what’s going on here? Who told you about Gunker Dragons?”

“Google,” they say together.

Miss Sweet begins to explain that you can’t believe everything you see on the internet (which is stupid, because of course you can – that’s where I learned about the cockroaches that race each other by riding miniature Russian hippopotamuses). I find myself getting quite excited about doing some Gunker Dragon research myself, once we get back from camping. I’m not normally interested in learning stuff, but in this case, Abby and Pip seem genuinely scared, and that could prove quite useful for me.

Maybe I should offer to stay up at night and keep watch. I mean, I would probably fall asleep, but that’s all right. Pip wouldn’t need to know that. All I’d have to do is stay up a little longer than her.

“Excuse me, Miss Sweet?” Pip interrupts the teacher’s little speech. “Why is there a duck standing there?”

I turn quickly and sure enough, Duck is standing right behind me. I really need to teach him to get a bit better at not being seen.

“He’s mine,” I say.

“You have your own duck?” Pip asks.

I decide to play it cool. “Sure! Doesn’t everybody?”

She laughs. “Is he coming camping with us?”

“Of course –”

“Not,” Miss Sweet interrupts. “Come on, Max. If I’ve just said Abby can’t bring her dog, I’m not about to let you bring your duck on the bus.”

“But what if Duck can help keep Abby safe by fighting the Gunker Dragons for her?” I ask with a grin.

Abby scowls at me.

“Ducks are my favorite!” Pip says.

The hair on my arms stands up. Did she really just say that?

I turn to Duck and he winks at me as if to say, “Oh. Yes. She. Did.”

This is amazing! Ducks are her favorite animal and I have my own duck! That settles it. Duck has to come camping with us.

I turn to Miss Sweet. “At least let me say goodbye?”

“Quickly,” she replies, and faces the rest of the class. “Everyone else, line up for Mr. Bert, please.”

I take Duck over behind the bus.

Duck points his beak at my T-shirt.

“You want to hide inside my T-shirt?”

Duck nods.

“It’s going to make me look pretty fat,” I say.

Duck looks cranky.

“I’m not saying you’re fat. I’m saying that if I hide you in my T-shirt, it’s going to look like I suddenly got a very big tummy. Miss Sweet might have some questions.”

Duck seems satisfied with that.

“What if I hide you under the bus with the tents and stuff?” I suggest.

“Don’t worry. It’s safe under there.”

Duck scowls at me and crosses his wings. I didn’t even know ducks could do that!

He nods to my backpack.

“You want to hide in my backpack?”

Duck shrugs as if to say, “It’s not ideal, but it’s better than your last insane suggestion.”

I unzip my backpack and we both look inside to see if there’s room.

“I guess I don’t really need to take all those undies.”