Chapter 20

After the service on Wednesday night, the church was holding a spaghetti dinner to raise money for a missionary effort in Indonesia. Max wanted to decline, but he knew Pastor Robbins would tell Lindsey, who would in turn bring it up at their next session and threaten to send him back to Gull Island Psych. Visiting hours at the hospital were almost over anyway, so there wasn’t much he could do for Sarah.

He still didn’t know quite where he’d gone wrong with Sam Melville. He’d given Sam money, power, and a substantial penis as Mr. Melville had suggested, but the date had turned into a disaster. Everything had started off so well at the aquarium, but something went wrong at the restaurant.

For the dinner, Pastor Robbins sat him with some of the younger women of the congregation. One was widowed, another divorced, another in college with a fiancée, and another unattached. The unattached woman was named Kelly and about Max’s age who lived above a meat market in Fishtown. He heard none of this from Kelly, but from Pastor Robbins and the others at the table while she went to use the bathroom. That Kelly’s mother was blind made everyone seem to think Max and Kelly were destined to be together. For his part, Max listened and nodded, stuffing his mouth with pasta to keep from saying anything.

When Kelly returned to the table, the silence was palpable as everyone seemed anxious for Max to say something. When he only twirled spaghetti around his fork, the widow asked, “So Max, how do you like Gull Island so far?”

Max wondered what Pastor Robbins had told everyone about him. He must have bent the truth by suggesting Max was new to the island. He decided it would be easier to play along than to waste time explaining the truth about where he’d spent the last twenty years. “It’s a nice place.”

“I remember I came here to visit some friends after Harry died and I just fell in love with the island. It’s so beautiful. Water everywhere, not like back in Kansas. Don’t you love the water, Kelly?”

“I can’t swim,” she said in a voice so soft he doubted anyone else at the table heard her.

“There’s always time to learn,” the college girl said.

Silence hung over the table except for the rattling of utensils against plates. “You know what, I just finished the best book yesterday,” the widow said. “It was such a beautiful love story, I used up half a box of Kleenex. The main character was named Harry and he was just like my Harry. I couldn’t believe it, it’s like the author looked right inside my head.”

Max stiffened at the last statement. No one seemed to notice. The divorcee asked for the name of the book and the widow answered. Then she continued, “You see, Harry quits his job on Wall Street after his wife dies and buys a Harley. He starts driving across the country, meeting people and writing what he sees. Then one night he’s going through the desert in Arizona—no, wait, it’s New Mexico—when he finds this girl standing at the side of the road. She has amnesia, so she doesn’t know who she is or how she got out there in the first place. Well, she looks so much like his dead wife that he calls her Jenna—that’s the wife’s name—and they start driving around the state looking for clues. Isn’t it so romantic?”

“My ex would have just left me standing alongside the road. Don never gave a s—” The divorcee stopped herself before uttering the curse word. “He never cared about anyone but himself. It was always him, him, him.”

“My Jackie listens to me,” the college girl said. “Just the other day he came home and asked me what was wrong and listened to me the whole time.”

“Wait until he gets that ring on his finger. Then he’ll turn into a selfish, insensitive pr—” There was another pause before the divorcee continued, “Jerk. It’s like one of those horror movies, Dracula or the Wolfman or something.”

“Well, my Harry always listened to me. He remembered every anniversary and birthday. You know, just before the accident, we were talking about taking a trip like in the book after Linda went off to college. He had all the maps and everything.” The widow began crying and while the others tried to comfort her, Max found himself reviewing Sarah’s date with Sam Melville.

Now he understood the problem. The whole time at the restaurant, Melville had only talked about himself. He’d never once asked Sarah about herself or tried to bring her into the conversation. No wonder the date went sour.

He needed to make someone more caring and sensitive. Someone like Harry, the hero of the book the widow had been talking about. He needed to get to the bookstore. “Excuse me, everyone, but I better get going,” he said.

“Max, we only just started,” the widow said.

“Come on, stay a little longer,” the college student said.

“I really have to go.”

“It’s not because of me, is it?” the widow said.

“No, no, I just have some other things to do.”

“You need a ride?” Kelly asked. Max noticed the silence that descended over the table when she spoke, as if everyone else were holding their breath.

“Well—” He was about to refuse, but then remembered how long it had taken to get a cab last time. The bus would take even longer with all the walking he would have to do to and from the stop. At least if he rode with Kelly he would arrive sooner. “Actually, I could. If it’s not too much trouble.”

“No trouble.” When she took his arm, he noticed she was wearing a thick sweater though it was not cold inside the church or outside. He could only imagine what the other women at the table and Pastor Robbins must be thinking to see the two of them together this way. They’ll probably start sending out wedding invitations, he thought.

She led him out to the parking lot to a car much lower than Lindsey’s SUV. “What kind of car is this?” he asked.

“A Gremlin,” she said. She opened the door for him and he ducked into the car.

“Is it new?” he asked once she took the wheel.

“No, I’ve had it for sixteen years now. My older brother drove it before he went into the navy. I don’t drive a lot. Mostly just to church and back.”

“I see. Can you take me to the Barnes & Noble? Unless it’s too far out of the way,” he said.

“No, it’s fine.”

“Thanks. I really appreciate this.” Her arm brushed against his as she reached for something in the space between them. He heard a click followed by music coming through the speakers. He recognized the song right away as the only piece of popular music he learned to play by ear after he lost his sight. Billy Joel’s “Always a Woman.” His father didn’t care for that kind of music, so Max had to practice the song at Rodney Jackson’s house using the electric keyboard belonging to Rodney’s brother. Max played the tape over and over again, straining to identify each note while imagining Alicia Hauptmann’s reaction when Max played the song for her at her birthday party. The music would express everything he couldn’t bring himself to say. But then, after the weeks of practice, he never got the chance to perform for Alicia.

Max’s fingers twitched as he listened to the song, playing the notes on an imaginary keyboard. He hadn’t listened to the song in twenty years, but he knew he could still play every note. “I’m sorry about the dinner,” Kelly said, interrupting his thoughts. “You’re not the first one they’ve done that to.”

“Really?”

“They’re always trying to fix me up with someone. They think I’m lonely, living with Mother the way I do. I’m not.” Before Max could say anything, she continued, “I remember you from school. I sat two seats behind you in fourth grade. I don’t suppose you remember.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s all right. You were always more interested in Alicia. She was a lot prettier than me, especially back then.” Max heard the click of a lighter and smelled a cigarette. Air rushed in through a crack in Kelly’s window. “She’s a heart surgeon now in Los Angeles, I think. Developed some kind of new technique they named after her. There was a whole big article in Time magazine about it. She might win a Nobel Prize.”

Max was too stunned to say anything. To think he might have married Alicia, if only his parents had let him go to that party. For a moment he imagined her coming home after a long day of saving lives to hear him play something on the piano to calm her nerves. Then the thought of Conte’s dream and what he’d done to her image obliterated the fantasy. Kelly asked him something, but he didn’t hear the words. “Pardon?”

“I said we’re almost there.”

“Oh. Thanks for doing this.”

“It’s no problem. You want me to go inside with you?”

“No, it’s fine.”

“I think I’ll go in anyway. I’ve never been here before. They probably have a better selection than Mrs. Holloway’s shop.” After she stopped the car, she held open the door for him and took his arm again. “Wow, this place looks so fancy. Like the library over in Seattle.”

When Lindsey took him here, his initial reaction was very similar. By now he’d gotten used to the size of the place and knew his way to the audiobook section without assistance. The clerks at the customer service desk already knew him by name. Today, though, he let Kelly show him the way and pretended as if he’d never been here before. “Are you looking for anything in particular?” she asked.

“That book they were talking about at the dinner.”

“Oh, sure, I think they have that one here. I see it. Better make sure it’s the unabridged version. You don’t want to pay full price for less than the full book.” She rummaged around the boxes for a moment and then pressed one into his hand. “Anything else?”

“That should hold me for now. Thanks.”

She took him through the rest of the store, describing everything she saw and always sounding astonished by the selection. “This place is great,” she said. “I could spend days here.”

“So could I.” As they continued to walk around the store, he started turning his head in the direction of the checkout. He wanted to get home and listen to the book so he could visit Sarah tomorrow morning with a new date for her. Kelly didn’t seem to pick up on his hints, leaving him in one of the cushiony armchairs so she could get a basket. By the time he got back to Midway House, he wouldn’t be able to finish the book tonight.

When Kelly finally took him to the checkout, the cashier said, “Max, you’re running a little late today, aren’t you?”

“I guess so.”

“Just one today?”

“Yes.”

“You brought a friend with you today?”

“I brought him,” Kelly said before Max could answer. The cashier took five minutes to process Kelly’s transaction. He wondered if she would have room for all the books, imagining her apartment above the meat market so filled she and her mother used the books for furniture.

As she drove him home, she said, “There’s something you should know about me.”

“Really?”

“I have a boyfriend of sorts. His name’s Luis. He’s the butcher at the shop.”

“Oh.”

“I don’t tell the ladies at the church, because—” She paused to light up another cigarette. “He’s married to this woman back in Costa Rica. They’ve been having trouble finalizing the divorce. Please don’t tell anyone. Not even Pastor Robbins.”

“I won’t.”

“Thanks. I wouldn’t have mentioned it, but I didn’t want you to get the wrong idea after tonight.”

“I understand.” The car came to a stop, but this time she didn’t get out to help him with the door. He unfastened his seatbelt and found the door handle. After getting out, he stopped on the curb to wave at her car, wondering why she was still sitting there. Even after he went inside, the Gremlin didn’t move.

“Who’s that?” Jerry asked him.

“Someone from church. She gave me a ride.”

“Maybe she stalled or something,” Jerry said.

“I don’t know.” He headed for the stairs, leaving Kelly to handle her own problems. Once in his room, he unwrapped the book and popped it into the tape player. As he listened through the night, he began to understand what he needed to do.