It was fun to hear Hannah describe the beginning of her evening and the preparation that occurred at her apartment. Hannah was clearly worried about Laura and how excited she was about our going out on our first date. It was cute how Hannah had talked about Laura helping her pick out clothes and doing her hair. Daughters and mothers can have such a wonderful relationship.
I was described as somewhat fashionable, so Laura really wanted Hannah to steer clear of her normal everyday attire that she adorned for several of her other dates. She needed something black – that had been Laura’s main criteria. Hannah had settled on a nice below-the-knee silk skirt and a loose blouse. She went with some mid-sized heels, black as well, and topped it off with a silk scarf to bring the two together. It was easy for me to admit to liking it, as Hannah looked fantastic.
Hannah had enjoyed the attention. It had been a long time since Laura was into helping her prepare for a date, and even Stephanie had joined in on the festivities. They had both helped with her makeup. Hannah did not wear a lot, but at her age was in need of some touchups here and there.
She smiled, having liked the outfit they had decided on, and she laughingly talked about putting the stacks of rejected clothes back in their proper place to avoid a mess in the morning. She was unsure how long our date would last so she had made the kids a pizza and went through the list of instructions, as was her habit every time she ventured out for an evening.
The kids had rhythmically mimicked her as they recited the instructions with her. All three had laughed at the fact that she felt she needed to repeat them every single time they were left alone. The most important rule was that they never answered the door. What if it were the police? “Then, we call you, but we never answer the door. We don’t open it; we don’t go to it; we don’t say hi to anyone; we don’t even look at the door for fear it might burn us,” Stephanie giggled.
Hannah admitted to me she was paranoid, but she also knew that her two girls were the only two people she held dear in the world. If anything ever happened to them, she had no idea how she would ever make it through the experience. She had made her exit with a couple of kisses and a nice big hug from Laura for good luck. Laura’s overly excited anticipation had actually made even Hannah a little nervous.
She had made the short five-minute drive to the restaurant, which was located on Burlingame Avenue. It was a quick jump to get there, and she was glad that we had agreed upon a place that was so close. She really didn’t like being out late at night during the week. On the weekend she felt more comfortable, but for some reason she had never shaken the school time rule of staying put Sunday through Friday and letting loose Friday and Saturday night.
The restaurant was plush, catering to upscale patrons. The food, unfortunately, was just average and for the amount of money, you would expect something more extravagant. It was well-frequented on most nights by a large amount of patrons, and its reputation of being the place to be allowed it to sway from quality.
Hannah had arrived at the side door and walked up the ramp spotting me at the bar, sitting on a stool talking to the local bartender. I was having a brownish-colored drink in a small glass with a few ice cubes. She had guessed was scotch, but she was not a big drinker and really did not know her liquor too well. She walked in my direction; and as I sat there, I found myself staring directly at her. She was still a beautiful woman, and you could tell that she took pride in presenting herself at her best.
I shook off my hesitation, got up from the stool, and met her halfway. After the initial greetings, I spoke to Adrianna, a waitress that I knew, and she showed the two of us to a table. The hostess said hi on our way over, and Hannah asked me if I frequented here that often.
I did, but just within the last few weeks. I seemed to make a lasting impression rather quickly. Everyone in the restaurant knew who I was. The conversation for the most part centered on Hannah for the bulk of the evening, as I continued to inquire about her goals, her background, her hometown, her job, her hobbies, and her girls. I was genuinely interested in her, and she found herself getting lost in her historic past. She dug up old memories that she had not thought about in a long while.
She was born in Alabama, her parents were both deceased, and she had no close living relatives. She briefly touched on her tumultuous relationship, and the byproducts of Laura and Stephanie. She tried to steer the conversation away from her ex-husband and the bad memories dredged up from that dark period. I never mentioned the fact that I knew her background or that Sarah had released so much personal information. I felt that it was better left unsaid. She had never been skiing, but always wanted to go. She loved being outdoors and liked hiking.
Her favorite activity was to go for long walks. She liked company; but if nobody were available, she grabbed her Walkman and headed down to the path by the bay. She would stroll along, listening to REO Speedwagon and Sting and any other band from the ’80’s that she could drum up. She admittedly liked that period, even though she was frequently told it was not the best age for music.
She found herself very relaxed talking to me and opened up more than she had to anyone in a long time. She shared about her friendship with Sarah; and although she had never spoken out loud about the incident, she found herself telling me about the night that Hank came on to her. It had filled her with disgust and guilt about who he was and what she had allowed to happen. Sharing did seem to lift a weight from her shoulders, but she had not anticipated discussing the situation with anyone, let alone somebody on a first date.
Hannah had seemed a little off-guard, letting stories fly; and before she realized it, the night was gone and it was time to part ways. Once outside, she discovered that I had walked to the restaurant, so she offered to give me a ride back home. The night seemed perfect, and Hannah now had butterflies in her stomach, hoping that I felt the same. On the quick trip home, I asked to keep all conversations about tonight limited where Laura was concerned. I was genuinely worried about hurting my daughter’s feelings, and Hannah assured me that it would be fine. I made quite an impression on her darling daughter, but she would give no details and keep any future outings to herself.
She let me know that she was interested in seeing me again. We quickly arrived at my house. After pulling up in the driveway, she placed the car in park. I gently reached over and gave her a quick kiss on the lips as I said good-bye. She seemed like a schoolgirl again. Her knees looked weak, and she seemed to have butterflies flittering in her stomach, threatening to break free and explode out to the slightly chilled, starry sky.
She watched me as I pulled my key out of my pants pocket and opened the door of my pinkish colored house. I saw her slowly pull away once the door had been closed. I was sure that she was excited about the date and felt comfortable with her not telling Laura. I had also assumed that she would share the experience rather quickly with her friend Sarah.
I later found out she had called Sarah that night and for 20 minutes sat in the car outside of her apartment describing her evening. She had been openly elated at the prospects of a future date and hopefully more. Sarah had listened patiently and joined in with her excitement. Hannah was truly lucky to have her as a friend. At some point, she was going to have to be honest with Sarah--let her know what a snake her husband was and open up to her about the things that he had done.
Laura had been disappointed, but not completely diluted in her excitement when she was not given any details. Hannah sat awake and dreamed about possibilities and our future. It is interesting how women get so excited about the prospect of happiness—they sometimes forget to enjoy the here today. That sounds sexist, as men are most likely the same.