LAUREN yawned as she woke, stretching her arm out and slowly opening her eyes. She was so warm and cozy, the bed so comfortable and … She gasped, realizing she was tucked up to Tanner’s warm chest. How had she ended up spending the night in his arms?
She wriggled a little, but his arm tucked tighter around her. So much for sex only—she’d snuggled into him for the night like he was still the love of her life, not her summer fling.
“Morning.”
Lauren looked up at the deep, husky voice and into Tanner’s eyes as he blinked and yawned, his thumb brushing her shoulder.
“Morning,” she murmured back.
Tanner stretched his arms up and she took the chance to scoot over a little, turning onto her stomach so her breasts were pushed into the bed. She tucked the pillow up tight to her chest as she looked over at him.
“So much for a quick rest,” he said, laughing and reaching out for her.
Lauren froze at his touch, not sure what to do as he ran his fingers down her hair, still staring at her. When she’d locked herself in the bathroom the night before, it had been because she wasn’t sure what to do, what all this meant, whether she’d be able to follow through with her flirtations. Well, she’d sure as hell managed the follow-through part okay, but she was feeling in need of that paper bag to breathe into again about now.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to stay in here all night, I just…”
He gave her a weird look. “Are we okay? You look worried.”
She sighed when he reached for her, fingers on her shoulder, tugging her toward him. “I don’t know what the rules are with this kind of thing. I mean, is this okay?”
His laughter was gruffer this time and he leaned in and claimed a kiss. “No idea, but we’re the one writing the rules, so who gives a damn?”
His lips were as warm and soft as the bed sheets wrapped around her, cocooning her and making her forget everything else. She kissed him back, still keeping the pillow tucked to her breasts as a familiar flutter in her stomach told her she still wanted Tanner just as bad this morning as she had the night before.
“Oh shit, we’d better stop,” he said, pushing her back a little.
“Why, did I hurt you again?” she asked. “I’m the worst therapist around!”
The humor in his gaze made her glare at him. “What?”
“It’s just that I thought day time was for workouts and training. Not my PT taking advantage of me in the bedroom.”
Lauren swatted at him, but he caught her wrist and placed a kiss to the inside of her palm.
“Until tonight then,” she murmured.
“Oh, I have no problem being taken advantage of,” he said, lying back with his arms above his head. “For the record, I’m all yours.”
She refused to take the bait, deciding she’d damn well make him wait if he was going to tease her like that. “Well, if you’re all mine then get up, get dressed, and be ready for a swim in ten minutes. Training starts now.”
He laughed. “Oh, so it’s like that, is it?”
She sat up and took the sheets with her, holding them tight to her body as she got up and walked out.
“What are you trying to hide? It’s nothing I haven’t seen before,” Tanner called out as she headed for her own bedroom.
She giggled as she walked, feeling like a naughty girl caught out late with her boyfriend or trying to sneak back without being seen. This Tanner was like the one she’d fallen for all those years ago, the one she’d yearned for and mourned like he’d died. It couldn’t last for long, but it was the rematch she’d needed, to get him out of her system once and for all, on her terms this time. She would walk away from him, but it would be because she wanted to this time, because it could never work between them, not because someone else was pulling the strings and forcing her hand.
Lauren washed and got into her one-piece, ready to swim alongside Tanner in the pool to help get his strength up. She liked the workout and it was good to be completely hands on with him, to see how far and hard she could push him.
“Lauren?”
She paused and wondered if she’d imagined Tanner’s call. “Do you need me?” she called back.
“Yeah.”
She picked up a towel and carried it under her arm, heading back into Tanner’s room.
“Everything okay?” she asked, before seeing him sitting on the bed, still naked, with a grimace on his face that told her everything was definitely not okay.
“Sorry, I just don’t feel right. My leg, it’s, I don’t know how to describe it, but when I put weight on it, it was weak.”
She dropped to her knees and placed her hands on him, tugging at the tape she’d used to do the strapping with. “Let me take this off, see how you feel.”
Had she pushed him too hard? Had something made him worse instead of helping him?
“I’m sore, but it’s more than that. It’s like my ankle or something is burning.”
“Lie back,” she said, hands resting on his skin and massaging more gently than she had been the day before. “You’ve got a lot of damage there to ligaments and soft tissue, so it was always going to be a slow recovery, but maybe we need to ease off a little, just focus on swimming, massage, and complete rest otherwise.”
She glanced up at him and cracked up when she realized he was lying on his back, with his package on full display. Funny how she could totally ignore the fact that his gorgeous body was on show when she was focused on work.
“Whatever you say, doc,” Tanner said.
Lauren frowned and kept working, knowing that he would never have called out to her and admitted his pain unless it was really bad.
When she’d finished, she stood and held out a hand to him. “Come on, let’s just have a nice swim, and then we can order in breakfast and chill for the rest of the day.”
Tanner took her hand and used some of her weight to pull himself up. When he was standing, at least a foot taller than her, he dropped a kiss to her hair, hand moving to her elbow.
“Thanks,” he said.
She should have asked for what, but she didn’t. She was here as a professional, and yet she wasn’t sure if he was thanking her for the treatment or the booty call the night before.
Tanner hobbled into the bathroom and she went to place their order for breakfast, wanting it to be ready when they finished swimming. She was starving and she wanted Tanner to eat well while he was on her watch, with plenty of fresh fruit and protein.
Lauren went into the living room to make the call, ordering up fruit platters and omelets for two. She stood and waited for Tanner, looking out at the ocean and knowing that she’d never forget their trip for the rest of her life. They could never be together, not after everything that had happened, and they both had such different careers that consumed them, but being with him here, having him back just for a little while, was one hell of a feeling.
“I’m looking forward to that swim,” Tanner said, and she turned to find the man who was consuming her thoughts standing in his swimming shorts, towel over his shoulder.
“Did that at least loosen you up a little?” she asked.
He nodded, but she wasn’t convinced. “Come on then, cowboy. Let’s do a few slow laps and see how we go.”
Lauren left her towel on a lounger, using the tie around her wrist to secure her hair into a ponytail. She watched as Tanner sat and then slipped straight into the water, and she dived in once he moved further into the middle of the pool.
She blinked when she came up and smiled at the man in the water beside her. “Come on, let’s slowly do five laps of breast stroke then see how you’re feeling,” she said. “There’s no better way to build up full body strength in a gentle way than swimming.”
Tanner followed her lead and she let him set the pace, refusing to listen to the voice in her head asking whether she truly believed she’d be able to heal him. He would be fine—of course he would be—but would he be strong enough and fit enough to be number one again? She wasn’t sure. But what she did know was that nothing was going to stop her from doing everything in her power to fix him.
“You look worried,” he said as they turned and headed back in the other direction.
“I’m fine. Come on, let’s switch to freestyle. But take it slow.”
Lauren settled into a slow rhythm, focusing on her breathing, and wondering if she was truly cut out to be his physical therapist by day and his mistress by night.
* * *
Tanner sat outside, holding a beer and looking out at the ocean. He’d thought that sitting on his porch and looking over his ranch was relaxing, but the Fiji beach was something else. The light breeze, the temperature that was pleasant but not too hot, the white sand, the gently lapping ocean—there was nothing not to love about being cast away on a luxury island.
If his body slowly started to improve, and he was able to go home healed and ready to ride for the next season, it would end up being the perfect holiday. And that was before he factored in Lauren. He had no idea what the hell he thought he was doing with her, but what harm could it do? So they’d reconnected—so what? He wouldn’t be second-guessing himself if he’d met some gorgeous brunette on vacation and spent a week having wild holiday sex with her, so why was Lauren any different? And once they boarded the jet to go home it would all be over.
He sighed and took a pull of beer. This was different because it was Lauren Lewis. Former love, the woman who’d ruined him for all others, the one human being in the world he’d genuinely thought he despised. Maybe he’d been fooling himself all along about that last part.
“How are you feeling?” Lauren’s soft voice was warm, like arms being swept around him from behind.
“Good,” he replied, taking another sip of beer before swiveling to look at her. She was dressed in denim cutoffs again and a pretty top, and he wondered if that was part of the attraction. That last summer they’d spent together had been all about her wearing teeny-tiny shorts, lying out in the sun turning dark shades of golden, and swimming. Fiji was turning out to be exactly the same, other than the recovery stuff.
“You want to eat in tonight or go to the restaurant?” she asked. “Or if you want some alone time then I’m happy to dine solo.”
He laughed. “Solo? Not a chance. And for the record, I’d like to eat you.”
Now Lauren was the one laughing, and when she moved closer he hooked his hand around her smooth leg and looked up at her. He didn’t need to say anything, she seemed to know exactly what he was thinking and spun around, slowly sitting in his lap. She brought her mouth toward his, lips parted expectantly, and Tanner closed the distance, kissing her gently, enjoying the sensation of her weight on him, the feel of her silky, just-washed hair connecting with his skin.
“What the hell are we doing, Tan?” she asked, sighing against his mouth as she touched her forehead to his.
“Kissing,” he replied, finding her lips again.
She kissed him straight back, but slower, their lips just grazing this time. “I mean us,” she finally murmured. “I’ve spent my life—”
“I know,” he said. “Work is work and pleasure is pleasure. I get it.”
“So why am I bending the rules for you?” she asked. “It’s a bad idea, I just know it.”
“Because we’re Tan and Lol,” he teased. “We were voted most likely to be married, remember?”
When she laughed her head tipped back. “Oh my god, you’ve just given me a mental image of us at homecoming. And you’re right, I think everyone had us pegged for being married in college and me barefoot and pregnant.”
“Ah, it wouldn’t have been so bad,” he said.
“For you maybe!” She poked him in the chest. “I always wanted more than that.”
They were both quiet for a while until Tanner ran his hands down her back. “Are you okay with this just being what it is?”
He saw her throat move as she swallowed. “Yeah, I am. You?”
Tanner nodded, looking into her eyes. “Me too. So what’s wrong with two grown adults coming to an agreement about having some fun? This isn’t something we should be beating ourselves up over.”
He knew why he was okay with it, because she was gorgeous and he’d never stopped being attracted to her, but also because he was never going to let her get too close. If she wanted a relationship right now, he’d be running a mile. He couldn’t trust her again, couldn’t let go of the past enough to ever let that happen, but now that they were together, he couldn’t see the point in being chaste.
“Come here,” he said gruffly, reaching for her and coaxing her closer again.
Lauren didn’t kiss him, she just tucked into his chest, cheek against him like she was listening to his heart. Maybe he’d regret getting up close and personal with her, but right now, it was his body begging him to give in, not his heart. His heart was still under lock and key, and as far as he was concerned, no one was ever going to find that key and hurt him. Not now, not ever.
“I’m sorry I hurt you, Tanner. I know it was a long time ago, but I don’t think I ever said I’m sorry.”
He stiffened, hating that he was a grown-ass man who could still feel the sting of betrayal from so long ago, so strongly.
“I’m sure you did already,” he murmured back, knowing that it wasn’t true. But it felt like the right thing to say. Besides, what else was he going to say: “It’s about fucking time?” or perhaps “Yeah, nice to know you’re finally admitting what a bitch you were back then.” The past was the past, he needed to move on, and it was different this time. He didn’t want a girlfriend or even a wife. He didn’t have time for one and he didn’t have any interest in settling down.
He forced his shoulders to drop, relaxing into the woman cocooned against him. He needed to enjoy this moment, because being with Lauren would make him forget all about the past. It had been the only negative thing holding him back in his life, and now it needed to be water under the bridge.
He looked down at her, felt a tightening in his chest knowing that in a couple of short weeks, their time together would be over and he’d never see her again.