TANNER grunted as he sat down on the bed. Damn, he hurt. Every part of him was sore, achy, or thumping with a deep pain. It had been only seven weeks since the accident, but he was struggling to remember what it was like to be pain free. The doctors had given him a huge supply of pain medication, but other than when he was struggling to get comfortable enough to get to sleep at night, he wasn’t taking them. The last thing he wanted was to be popping pills—he wanted to make his body strong again, not mask the pain and pretend like he was okay when he wasn’t.
“You coming for dinner?”
Lauren’s voice was muffled as she called out from the other side of his door. He was sitting in his boxers, on the perfectly made white bed, with barely enough energy or strength to change into a fresh set of clothes.
“Just give me a minute,” he called back, pushing his palms down into the bed and rising. His wrist screamed out at him to stop, but it was better than putting all his weight onto his bad leg.
He unzipped his bag, grabbed a pair of shorts and a T-shirt, and leaned against the wall to get the shorts on. Thank god he didn’t need to wear shoes—his boots had just about killed him. Instead he slowly bent to collect a pair of flip-flops he hoped weren’t going to be too hard to wear, deciding to walk barefoot and put them on just before they arrived at the restaurant.
Tanner found Lauren sitting outside on one of the loungers, legs stretched out in front of her as she stared out at the water. The sun was slowly disappearing and he wondered how early it got dark in Fiji. He’d never been before, usually vacationing closer to home whenever he got away.
“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” he asked.
“It certainly is. I feel like I’ve spent my entire working career rushing, and I can’t remember the last time I even sat on a beach.”
“Remember Hawaii?” Tanner asked, moving to sit beside her.
Her eyes met his, just for the briefest of seconds, before she turned her gaze back to the ocean or whatever else she was staring at.
“Yeah, I remember.”
Tanner turned when movement caught his eye and he watched as two men ran down the sand, lighting the big torches that dotted the beach. Once night fell, the effect would be beautiful, just like everything else about the island so far.
Lauren touched his arm and he smiled down at her, his thoughts still on Hawaii. They’d gone on a family vacation there, and his father had let him bring someone, since his older brother was taking his girlfriend. It was only a short time after that they’d parted ways, but it had been a magical vacation and he’d often wondered if he’d done something wrong while they were away, if something had happened that he hadn’t realized, because it was when they got home that things had slowly started to change between them.
“We’d better go. Are you staying barefoot?” Lauren asked.
He nodded. “Yes, ma’am. Unless you think I’ve breached the dress code again?”
Her laugh caught him by surprise. “You look great, Tan. And I want you barefoot as much as possible here. It’ll be good for you.”
He saluted at her as she walked away, following her out and then securing the door. He couldn’t decide if he was starting to enjoy her company, or whether it was just the balmy island air that was making him forget just how badly she’d hurt him in the past.
“Bula!” A resort worker waved out as he walked past.
“Bula,” Tanner called back. “Hey, we could have gotten a ride down. Didn’t they say something about coming to get you if—”
“Out of the question,” she said. “I knew you’d be sore and stiff after the flight, but a slow barefoot walk is just what you need to loosen your joints up. Tomorrow we start getting you back in shape.”
Tomorrow? “I thought I’d have a few days relaxing on the beach first.” There was no way his body was ready for anything other than some sun and relaxation yet. He’d only just had his cast taken off.
Lauren looked effortless in her short dress, her shoulders bare and her arms surprisingly golden. Maybe she’d been for a spray tan, because he bet she didn’t get much time sitting out in the sun, and it wasn’t exactly balmy weather this time of year back home.
“You know, walking along here with you now, I can almost forget what happened,” he said. “It’s like we knew each other a lifetime ago, but we’re two different people. It’s hard to explain.”
“I know the feeling.” Lauren was staying more than an arm’s length away, but he caught her sideways glance. “Does that mean you forgive me?”
Tanner cleared his throat. “Not a chance. But I don’t feel like I’d rather die than be stuck on an island with you now, so I guess that’s progress.”
Her laugh was soft, almost timid, and he hoped he hadn’t made her uncomfortable. But he didn’t want her thinking she was off the hook where their shared past was concerned. Something had happened arriving here—maybe it was the weather, or maybe he was just so desperate to feel like himself again, or maybe he’d never truly fallen out of love with Lauren.
Only that last thought was for him alone, because he’d never admit that to her for as long as he lived.
* * *
“You know, I was surprised when Mia said you’d come here with me at Christmas. I kind of expected you’d have someone to spend the holidays with,” Lauren said. “Sorry, I hope that’s not overstepping, I just…” Her voice trailed off and she wished she hadn’t spoken at all.
Tanner looked up at her from across the table. They’d set it for the two of them on the beach, maybe guessing they were honeymooners or on a romantic getaway—maybe word would start to spread among the resort staff when they found both king beds were being used at the Beach House.
“Do you think I’d be here with you if I had a girlfriend or significant other back home? Seriously, any woman would be mad to let me come here with you.”
Lauren almost choked on her wine. “Excuse me?”
Tanner sat back in his chair, slowly putting his beer bottle to his lips. She watched as he slowly sipped it, like he was purposely drawing the conversation out. “Look, we have history and you’re a beautiful woman. I doubt there’d be many men who’d be allowed to spend time with you without their other half keeping an eye on them.”
“Meaning their other half couldn’t trust me?”
He frowned and shook his head. “No, meaning you’re beautiful and intelligent and I can imagine most women being jealous of you.”
She sighed. “I’ll take the compliment. I guess I’m just a little touchy when it comes to being around men. You know, I’ve had to spend most of my career proving to players’ wives and girlfriends that they don’t have to worry about my presence by never, ever dating a player.”
“I get it,” he said softly.
“Your salmon,” the waiter announced, and Lauren looked up to see him standing beside her. She’d been so focused on Tanner she hadn’t even noticed.
“Thank you.” She sat back and let him place it on the table in front of her.
“The braised pork belly.”
Lauren looked down at her food, the awkwardness of their conversation killing her appetite. But the salmon sitting on a bed of rice with Asian greens on the side was so beautifully presented and she didn’t want to offend the chef by not eating it. She reluctantly picked up her knife and fork.
“So you’ve actually never dated a player before? I’d have thought those guys would have been lining up to ask a beautiful woman like you out on a date.”
Lauren took a mouthful of salmon, enjoying the flavor and eating it slowly. It gave her time to consider her answer. “I’ve been asked out plenty, but when you say no every time, it starts to become clear that it’s never going to happen. And it’s never going to happen, not while I’m working with the team in a professional capacity.”
Tanner was eating now too, and Lauren focused on her food and stopped thinking about him. Or tried to. A little voice in her head kept telling her he was only asking these questions to find out if she had a man in her life or not, but surely he’d realize she hadn’t. How many women in relationships booked overseas beach vacations without their partner?
“How about you tell me about your family? Mia sounds like she’s in a happy place,” Lauren said, trying to change the subject so that they could at least enjoy dinner.
Tanner’s face changed when she mentioned Mia, and she knew she’d finally found a safe topic. “Mia’s great. Sam is perfect for her, and they’re both nuts about horses, so I’m guessing their offspring will all be horse mad. They’ll have all of them riding before they can walk.”
Lauren laughed. “I can just imagine their babies strapped to horses and being carted around the ranch.”
“Mia’s still riding. She gets a hard time about it, but riding is what she loves. She might be pregnant, but I’m not about to tell her to give it up.”
She took another mouthful. Tanner and Mia had always been close, and they’d always seemed completely different compared to their older siblings, but she was seeing now that it was more than just being similar. They stuck up for each other, and they were both doing things they loved—hearing him defend his sister for still doing what she was passionate about proved that.
“And does Mia feel the same about you? Does she support you doing what you love or does she secretly want you to give up bull riding?”
Tanner gave her what she could only guess was a surprised look. “If she wants me to give it up, then it’s definitely a secret she’s holding close.” He paused and she watched him closely, saw that maybe he hadn’t actually considered that possibility. “She found you and sent me here though, didn’t she? I don’t think she’d have done that if she didn’t want me back on a bull.”
Lauren finished her dinner and set her utensils down. One thing she’d done before boarding the plane had been to look up all Tanner’s stats—she liked to have a feel for her athletes; what made them tick, what their strengths and weaknesses were, and why they were committed to their sport. She had to admit that Tanner was hard to get a read on, because he was so unlike the athletes she usually worked with. Hardly any of the professional athletes she knew came from big money, in fact it was usually the opposite, and money was often the key motivator—other than playing the sport they loved. For Tanner, she couldn’t figure out what his motivator was, other than perhaps the adrenaline fix, which was the very reason her parents had wanted her to steer well clear of him.
“Tanner, as far as I can tell, you’ve achieved what most riders can’t or haven’t during their careers,” she said, smiling when the waiter took their plates. She reached for the wine glass and stroked the stem to help distract her from her own nerves. “You’ve been riding professionally for ten years. You’ve earned a staggering, what was it, seven million dollars during that time? And this is your first catastrophic injury. Am I correct on those stats?”
Tanner held up his bottle and touched it to her glass. “Damn right. I just don’t know why you’re boosting my ego by telling me what I already know. Or are you just trying to show me that you can do your research?”
“I’m trying to get in your head, Tan. I need to know—”
“Honey, you were in my head once, and you’re not getting back in there again any time soon.”
She bit back a frustrated sigh, trying to ignore his reference to her past. “I’m trying to figure out what makes you tick, that’s all. The money? The thrill? The fans? I want to know more about your career.”
He drained his beer, and she studied his face when he turned to the ocean. The gentle lap was soothing, the torches burning along the beach magical in the dark, and Lauren wished they’d just sat in silence and admired the beauty around them. But she wasn’t here for fun; this wasn’t a date. This was work, and come tomorrow she had a lot of damn work to do on the man seated across from her.
“Tanner, what I’m asking is, when is enough enough? What do you have left to prove when you’ve already won every competition? Correct me if I’m wrong, but you could leave your sport now and go down in history as one of the highest-earning pro riders of all time.”
His gaze was cold when he finally faced her again. “You’re my PT, Lauren, not my shrink. All you need to know is that you’re here to fix me and get me back in the game again. You don’t want to do that? Then get on the next goddamn helicopter out of here in the morning and send someone back who will do the job without interrogating me about my motives.”
Lauren sat back, trying not to react, to maintain some degree of professionalism, but it wasn’t easy. Without trying, she’d hit a nerve, and Tanner didn’t look like he was about to warm up to her again anytime soon.
“I just want you to be honest with me, that’s all,” she said softly. “If we’re going to work together, I want to know your goals. Your professional aspirations. I like to see the whole picture.” She took a deep breath. “And please don’t forget that you joined me on my vacation, not the other way around.”
Their dessert arrived, but Tanner never even looked down at the decadent white chocolate cheesecake. He didn’t miss a beat and he sure as hell didn’t acknowledge what she’d just said.
“My goal is to be back on top again. When I retire is my business and no one else’s, but I can tell you that it’s not on my current agenda and I’m more motivated about making a successful comeback than I’ve ever been. Are we clear?”
“We’re clear,” she agreed.
He pushed back his chair and stood, an imposing figure standing over her. “I’m going to head back.”
She swallowed, feeling her face flush as she watched him study her face. His blue eyes were troubled, there was so much there that she wished she could find out, but tonight wasn’t the night to ask more questions.
“Get a good sleep. We’ll start with a massage and training session after breakfast.”
Tanner gave her a tight smile and walked away, leaving her with her dessert and an almost-finished glass of wine. Lauren took a deep, shuddering breath and turned her chair slightly to face the beach, not wanting to see if the other couples around them were giving her sympathetic looks. She wanted to call out that she was fine, that he wasn’t her partner and he hadn’t just walked out on her and left her alone at the table. Instead she stayed silent, eating every last bit of the cheesecake and smiling as she heard the squeals of young children. Soon they were running past, racing from torch to torch along the beach, and before long a woman came running too, chasing after them.
Lauren looked at Tanner’s dessert and decided to eat that, too. It wasn’t every day she was staying on a five-star resort with a world-class chef. And besides, she intended on spending her days here being active, swimming and paddleboarding and running. An extra slice of cake seemed like the least of her worries compared to the man she was charged with rehabilitating.
“Is everything okay here, ma’am?”
Lauren smiled at the waiter, thanked him for a lovely evening, then took off her sandals and decided to walk down the beach. The children were playing ahead, probably being naughty for their nanny, but she liked their idea. So long as a crab didn’t nip at her toes, it was the perfect way to spend the evening, with the sand beneath her feet and the sound of the water reminding her just how fortunate she was to be in Fiji. The brochures hadn’t been wrong—the island was blissful—it was her companion who was proving problematic. And the fact that she couldn’t get their past out of her head.
* * *
“Daddy, I love him.” Lauren had pleaded. She’d held her father’s hand and looked into his eyes, but by then, he’d already made his mind up.
“He’s not right for you, sweetheart. When you look back on this decision, you’ll know we were only looking out for you.”
“Mom?” Lauren turned, looking for support from her mother, but she’d received the same kind of blank stare there too. They’d conspired together, made a decision, and neither one of them was going to go back on it.
“Lauren, you’re at a crossroads here, and Tanner Ford is only going to hold you back. What does your future look like with him?”
“He’s from a good family,” she choked out. “And he loves me. We’re meant to be together.”
“You’re not even eighteen yet. What do you know about love?” her dad had insisted. “What happens when he leaves you for someone else, when everything falls apart, and you’ve got no college degree or career to fall back on? That’s not what you want and deep down you know it.”
Tears streamed down Lauren’s cheeks. “He wants me to go to college!”
“No, darling, he wants you on the back of his motorcycle to show off to his friends. He wants to drag you around to bull-riding competitions and rodeos, he wants to drink beer and get high. He doesn’t have any motivation to succeed.”
They were wrong. They were so wrong.
“You have until the end of summer, Lauren. We’ll pay your tuition fees, we’ll do whatever we can to support you into the career you’re dreaming of, but not if you’re still with the Ford boy. We’ve been patient, but enough’s enough.”
Lauren stood, wiping at her cheeks, knowing there was nothing left to say. She’d find a way. She’d finance her own college education. She’d do it without her parents. She wasn’t walking away from the boy she loved just because they told her to.
“The end of summer?” she asked. “You promise you won’t stop me seeing him until then?”
Her mom and dad exchanged looks before her mom answered. “Your normal curfew applies still, but yes, until the end of summer.”
Lauren nodded and walked away, slowly trudging up the stairs into her bedroom. She collapsed onto her bed, pillow stuffed against her face as she sobbed, her chest full of so much emotion she thought she was going to choke, to suffocate on her own tears.
There was no way she was giving up Tanner Ford without a fight. He was the love of her life, and she wouldn’t let anyone tell her what she could and couldn’t do, not even her parents.