CHAPTER 30

Rafe swiped the sweat from his eyes as hE finished mowing the last row of grass in the front yard. He turned off the mower, then glanced over at Carmen’s house.

Her car was there, so he knew she had the day off. But it had been nearly a week since she’d broken up with him, and he thought that since Jimmy was home and settled, maybe she’d have called or texted him by now, that she’d have realized she made a mistake. That she wanted him in her life.

Instead, he hadn’t heard a word from her.

Maybe all his feelings for her had been just that—his feelings. And his feelings hadn’t been reciprocated. Because when you loved someone, they were supposed to love you back.

Had he totally misread that? He’d never been in love before, so how the hell was he supposed to know how it played out?

Since he looked like a dumbass staring over at her house, he put the mower away and finished off the weed eating, figuring a good sweat session in the steamy late afternoon would help clear his head. When he went inside, Jackson and Becks were in there, and the house smelled fresh.

“Cleaning?” he asked, swiping his brow with a paper towel.

“Top to bottom,” Becks said.

“Looks good. Smells even better.”

“Well, we make a fantastic team, even scrubbing toilets.” Becks beamed a smile at Jackson, who rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, it’s my favorite thing to do on my day off,” Jackson said.

Becks laughed.

“Oh, and Kal called,” Jackson said. “Mom and Dad are doing a mini housewarming party at the new house today and want everyone to come over tonight for dinner.”

It wasn’t like he had anything else to do, and helping his parents celebrate their new place sounded like a great idea. “Sure.”

He went into his room and took a shower, scrubbing the grass clippings and sweat off. When he came downstairs, Becks and Jackson weren’t there, so he figured they were cleaning up as well. There was no need to wait for them, so he got in his truck and drove over to his parents’ new place. He parked in the driveway and got out, staring at the house that was so foreign to him, not the place where he grew up.

But they’d all talked about it. Mom had been afraid he and his brothers would be upset about giving up the place they’d called home since Josh and Laurel Donovan had adopted them. They’d all assured her that home was wherever their parents lived, which was true. As long as he knew where they lived, he’d have a place to call home. And this place was pretty tight.

They’d moved in a week ago. It was a great house, with a pool and lots of extra space for all the things his mother had coveted for years, like an office and a much bigger, fancy new kitchen.

If anyone deserved to have everything she wanted, it was his mom.

Rafe hadn’t had much love during his early years. Hell, his birth parents had barely registered his existence. To them, he’d just been in their way. Getting away from them had changed his life.

So when Rafe and his brothers had gotten caught in that house fire and rescued by Josh Donovan, and then Josh and Laurel had brought them home, Rafe didn’t know how to handle having parents who actually took care of him, who cared about how he felt. It had taken him a while to warm up to them, but Laurel was persistent in her affection and had broken down his walls until he couldn’t help but need and want the love he’d always been denied.

Now he’d move mountains for the woman he called Mom.

He walked through the front door and found his mother in her office to the right. She was a beautiful woman, with her dark skin, her curly hair, and a body that she kept fit by doing yoga, of all things. He didn’t know where she found the time, given how busy she was. But that was his mom, always making sure that she took care of herself as well as others.

“You about set up in here?” he asked as he walked into her office.

She turned and smiled at him. “Just about.” She slipped a couple of books into the built-in bookshelf, then hugged him.

It wouldn’t matter how old he got, Rafe would always welcome his mother’s hugs. For some reason he needed one badly right now, so he lingered a little longer than typical, wrapping his arms around her and holding her tight.

When he pulled away, she studied him. “Something’s wrong.”

He pulled his lips into a half smile. “Nothing’s wrong. I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not, and I can see it on your face. Come on. Let’s go into the kitchen and have something cold to drink. Then you can talk to me.”

The cold drink sounded good, but his mother couldn’t help him with Carmen.

She poured them some iced tea and handed him a glass. They sat in front of the bay window in the kitchen.

“Have you been in the pool yet?” he asked.

“Every day to swim laps. It’s perfect and I love it.”

“And you’re the one who didn’t want to move.”

She shrugged. “I take back what I said. I love this house. The master closet is perfect. My office is everything I ever dreamed of, and I know I’ll use the pool a lot.”

“How does Dad like it?”

“He loves it. The garage is bigger, and he’s already talking about building a workbench across one wall, which is what he’s always wanted. He and Kal are at the store right now buying . . . I don’t actually know what they’re buying.”

“Probably some cabinets and wood.”

“Yes, I think that’s what they mentioned.” She took a sip of her tea. “So tell me what’s going on that’s got you upset.”

“I’m not upset.”

She tilted her head down and gave him the look he remembered so well from when he was a kid and tried to lie his way out of something. It was a very effective look.

“Try again,” she said.

“Carmen’s grandfather had a mini stroke.”

“Oh no. Is he all right?”

“He’s going to be fine. But she freaked out. She was out with me when it happened, so she said she should have been with her grandpa, that she could have done something to prevent it. And then she dumped me.”

“Ah, I see. It’s a natural response to a crisis. She felt guilty because she wasn’t with him. Give her some time to come around.”

“I don’t think so, Mom. She said a lot of things about how we shouldn’t have been together in the first place, and how I made her lose her focus and all she had time for was her job and taking care of her grandpa.”

“Uh-huh. And this was right after her grandfather had his stroke, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Can you imagine how upset she was then? How much that scared her? He’s her only living relative, right?”

He nodded.

“Honey, she panicked. And I’m sure you’re hurt by the things she said. But you’re going to have to find a way to forgive her if you want her in your life.” She studied him. “Do you?”

He took a long swallow of tea before answering. “I told her I loved her and that I’d always be there for her. And then she got out of my truck and left me.”

“Oh, my sweet boy.” She squeezed his hand. “I’m sure that hurt. Do you think she loves you?”

“Yes.”

Mom smiled. “No hesitation. That’s good. Give her time, Rafe. She’s got a lot to process, and her grandfather’s health crisis frightened her in a big way. She is probably missing you like crazy right now.”

He shrugged. “I don’t know. If she didn’t see that I could be by her side and help her through all this, what kind of future do we have?”

“Everyone processes a major event like this differently. Carmen’s been on her own, just her and her grandfather, for a long time. She’s never known any other way. It’ll take her a while to realize that she can lean on you when times are tough.”

“Or, maybe I can show her that I’m always going to be there for her, no matter what.”

His mother nodded. “You could do that. Without pressuring her, of course.”

“Well, yeah. I’d never do that.”

“Do what you think is best. You know your relationship with her better than I do.”

He had a thought in mind. He didn’t want Carmen to think he was going to walk away and forget her.

And he wasn’t going to give up without a fight. He cared about her too much for that.

So now he had a plan. He just hoped it worked.