all-rounder. A player who can bat and bowl. In England, this might be someone who is not particularly gifted at either activity.
The Ashes. England versus Australia. The oldest and most important series in world sport. The teams battle it out for an urn containing the ashes from some incinerated bails. It’s a man thing.
bowler. Cricket’s version of a pitcher.
box. I believe North Americans call it a “cup.” Though a box is slightly different in shape and has fewer holes in it, North American men—apart from Bill Clinton, perhaps—have penises shaped similarly to those of Englishmen, and either a box or a cup will do the job.
bye. A run scored when the ball misses the bat and the stumps, and the wicketkeeper lets it past.
century. One hundred runs in a single innings.
cuts, drives, pulls, hooks, sweeps, reverse sweeps, and glances. All types of shots to certain parts of the ground, covering 360 degrees.
dot ball. A ball in which no runs are scored.
duck. When a batsman is out for zero, named so because the figure “0” in the scorebook looks like an egg. When a batsman is out first ball, it’s called a golden duck, which sounds a bit like a Chinese restaurant.
extras. Runs added to the team total not scored by the batsmen. These include wides, no-balls, byes, and leg-byes.
fast bowler. A fast bowler will aim to terrorize the batsmen, sending down bouncing balls at speeds of up to one hundred miles an hour. He can hit the batsmen on the head, if he wants. That’s called a “bouncer.” Try it next time you play baseball.
full-toss. A ball that doesn’t bounce, like an ordinary baseball pitch. Cricketers usually find these easy to smash, unless the ball is directed at the batsman’s face.
googly. A ball that looks as if it will be a leg-spinner but turns like an off-spinner.
half-century. Fifty runs in a single innings.
leg-bye. A run scored after the ball has deflected off the batsman’s body.
leg-spinner. A slow bowler who will turn the ball from right to left as he’s looking at the batsman by flicking his wrist. (The best description of a spinner relates to Paul Adams, a South African left-arm bowler, whose action was said to resemble “a frog in a blender.”)
Lord’s. The mecca of cricket, in London, England.
MCC (Marylebone Cricket Club). Guardians of the game and its rules.
This is the largest cricket club in the world, based at Lord’s.
medium-pacer. A slightly slower bowler, restricted, perhaps, by a large beer gut, who relies more on accuracy than pace. He may try to swing the ball in the air (make it move towards or away from a batsman) by polishing one side of it on his groin and working saliva into the leather. However, the bowler is not allowed to “ball tamper”—that would involve picking the seam (the line of stitching on the ball), buffing one side with ear wax or sunscreen, or removing chunks of the ball with a bottle top.
(Incidentally, ball tampering almost caused Pakistan to leave the Commonwealth.)
nets. Batting cages that batsmen and bowlers use to practice their techniques. There’s an old Chinese proverb: “Give a man a fish and you’ll feed him for a day. Give him a net and he’ll entertain his village cricket team for a generation.”
no-ball. An illegal delivery, occurring most often when the bowler oversteps his crease. It results in one run and an extra ball for the batting team.
ODI (One-Day International). A shortened form of the game, played in stripey pyjamas, often under floodlights, in which each team is allotted fifty overs to bat in their innings. This is the format currently used in World Cups.
off-spinner. An off-spinner will tweak the ball with his fingers and turn the ball from left to right as he’s looking at the batsman.
pads. Leg guards—a lot like an old-fashioned hockey keeper’s pads.
pavilion. Clubhouse.
pea-roller. A ball that rolls along the ground.
run-up. Bowling isn’t done from a standing position: a bowler takes a run-up and a leap before unleashing the ball. A run-up can be anywhere from three to thirty paces.
sight screen. White paneling set up behind the bowler’s arm. It helps the batsmen see the ball.
single. One run.
Test Match. The ultimate form of the game, lasting up to five days, played only by the top ten teams in the world. Each team has two innings per game, of indeterminate length and excitement.
toss. This term sounds unsavory, but it’s actually just the name for the innocent coin flip at the start of a match.
Twenty20. A three-hour form of the game, with twenty overs per side. Twenty20, with its quirky spelling, Lycra-clad cheerleaders, and fireworks, has resulted in the biggest growth spurt in the game’s history.
whites. What cricketers wear, like Michael Jackson.
wicket. Remember from “How Cricket Works” that we call those three sticks “the wickets”? When a bowler gets a batsman out, he has taken “a wicket.” “The wicket” may also be a reference to the twenty-two-yard strip in the middle of the field that the batsman and bowler play on. Confused?
wide. A delivery that is too wide for the batsman to hit. It results in one run and an extra ball for the batting team.