While Shannon was cleaning out a stall the next morning, she suddenly realized Janine was no longer playing with the kittens close by. After breakfast Rafe’s daughter had tugged on Shannon’s hand and pointed toward the barn, indicating she wanted to go along with her. Rafe had said that was fine with him, since he’d be clearing the land in the backyard. That was about all he’d said to her this morning.
The atmosphere was definitely tense between them, and they were going to have to do something about that. But Rafe hadn’t seemed in the mood this morning to mend fences. Truth be told, she hadn’t been ready to try, either. She’d relived their kiss and their bodies molding together over and over throughout the night, and she’d actually looked forward to mucking out the stalls this morning—because she knew her feet would be firmly planted in reality there.
Suspecting where Janine had disappeared to, Shannon went outside and stood under the overhang, catching a glimpse of her by Marigold’s corral.
Janine had pulled grass from the ground and was holding it out to Marigold to eat. The pony nuzzled Janine’s hand, taking the grass easily. Then Janine did something that made Shannon’s heart thud more rapidly. She got very close to the fence and the pony. The pony nuzzled the seven-year-old’s neck, and Janine made a sound. Shannon watched and listened carefully as Janine stepped away and then moved closer again. Marigold greeted her like an old friend, nuzzling her hair under her ear until Janine actually giggled!
Shannon could clearly hear the happy sound coming from Janine, and she wanted to rush to her, throw her arms around her and hug her. Yet she knew she couldn’t. If Janine caught her watching, she might go back into her shell, and Shannon didn’t want that to happen. Quietly she returned to the barn, laid fresh straw in the stall and then checked on Janine again. The little girl was petting Marigold, leaning very close to her, and Shannon wondered if she was whispering. Wouldn’t that be a miracle! Talking to the pony didn’t mean she was ready to talk to the adults around her, but it was certainly a start.
Throughout the morning as Shannon saw other clients, she debated with herself about telling Rafe what she’d seen. She had to separate what had happened last night with him from her relationship with Janine and what was happening with the little girl. That was very difficult to do.
That evening after supper Rafe found Shannon in the barn in the stall with the new foal. She was running her hands over her and talking to her softly.
“Where’s the mare?” he asked.
“Outside. Got to get this little lady used to me so I can eventually introduce her to a halter.”
In the silence that ensued, Shannon knew they were both probably thinking of their parting the night before.
Before she could figure out what to say, Rafe told her his reason for coming to the barn. “I thought I’d take one of the horses for a ride. Cora and Janine are playing pitch and fetch with Buster, so it seemed like a good time.”
“Want some company?” Shannon asked casually.
“You’re not too busy?”
“I’m never too busy to go on a trail ride. Besides, since you’ve been helping out with some of the chores, I’m caught up.” Rafe had cleaned out the stalls she hadn’t had time to do first thing in the morning.
“I wouldn’t mind the company,” he said casually. “I’m sure you know some great trails it would take me a while to find. I’d like to do more than ride the fence line.”
“I can show you a couple of different trails. Then if you want to go exploring, you can.”
Less than fifteen minutes later Shannon had saddled her horse, Gray Lady, and Rafe had saddled and mounted a chestnut mare named Rock-A-Bye. As they rode along the fence line a ways, Shannon could see that Rafe was a natural rider and could easily handle himself on a horse. She suspected he could handle himself anywhere.
Eventually they turned away from the fence and trotted along the fields, turning yellow in the mid-June heat. Rows of corn rose toward the sun as the breeze swept by them, and the horses ran on the packed dirt. They slowed their mounts as they neared a peach orchard directly up ahead.
“Is this yours?” Rafe asked as Shannon rode up beside him.
“No. It belongs to my neighbor. Fortunately for me, the Rocky R was on a small parcel of land. I couldn’t have afforded it otherwise.”
“Are your neighbors friendly?” he asked with a wry grin.
“They won’t shoot on sight,” she said with a smile, and then immediately realized what she’d said. She saw his expression turn grim. “I’m sorry, Rafe. That was thoughtless.”
“No, it wasn’t. It’s an idiom from a time when guns were needed to feed a family or protect a homestead.” Forestalling further conversation on the subject, he put his hand to his forehead to block the rays of the evening sun. “Through the orchard or around it?”
“Around it. Toward those pines over there.”
They settled into silence again as they rode side by side. When they entered a grove of trees, only a few rays of sunlight dappled the ground. The hush under the canopy was broken by the chirping of birds, the brush of branches against each other. The smell of earth was redolent with pine and moss, and they couldn’t hear their horses’ hooves on the carpet of pine needles. Shannon saw some of the tension leave Rafe’s shoulders. This place always did that for her. That’s why she’d brought him here.
They heard the ripple of water before they saw it. Finally the pine canopy gave way to scattered maples and cedars and cottonwoods along the edge of the wide creek. There was a meadow to their right with grass as green as spring and dappled with wildflowers in white, yellow and purple. This was a magic place for Shannon.
“How did you find this?” Rafe asked.
“After I bought the Rocky R, I went exploring. When I found this, I knew I belonged here.”
He dismounted, tethered his horse to a tree and started toward the meadow.
She dismounted, too, but let him wander ahead of her. He stood in the last rays of sun, his hands dug deep into his jeans pockets as he stared over the water, then high into the trees.
After giving him a few moments alone, she tethered her mount and crossed to Rafe, standing beside him, trying to see what he was seeing.
“I’ve never ridden like this before,” he said.
“What do you mean?”
“Back in Salinas, I rode at Longmeadow Farms. It’s a boarding stable, and they have their own horses and give lessons. All of the trails are well marked. There are maps of them back at the stables and never any unexpected discoveries.”
“I don’t think I could stand a canned trail ride.”
He glanced at her. “I guess I didn’t know there was any other kind.”
Suddenly the sound of a helicopter hummed in the distance.
When Rafe glanced up at the sky, Shannon explained, “The chopper belongs to one of my neighbors. He helps with search and rescue in the mountains.”
The faraway noise reminded Rafe that no place was sacred anymore, yet this place came close. Shannon fit in so perfectly out here. She was as natural as the trees and wildflowers. For the first time he realized she reminded him of a pioneer woman. At least her spirit did. She wasn’t afraid to use her hands to work hard or to get her hair mussed by a breeze. So different from Nancy.
His wife couldn’t be without the cosmetics in her dressing room. She wouldn’t think of leaving the house without perfectly manicured nails or sprayed with perfume that cost a small fortune. She didn’t like driving with the windows down in the car because the air would toss her hair. When she went swimming, she was a bathing beauty beside the pool, never in it. She couldn’t abide the smell of chlorine on her skin. Although she’d had a model-thin figure, she hadn’t liked exercise of any kind because she hated to sweat. He’d suspected she’d only agreed to go riding with him because there was a social crowd who were patrons of the stable that gave prestigious parties. She liked being with them…liked showing up in her expensive riding habit and getting compliments…liked standing next to the horses and having her picture taken.
Abruptly he cut off all the thoughts. He felt as if he was betraying what he’d felt for her, seeing her idiosyncrasies as flaws, comparing them to qualities he found in Shannon that intrigued and attracted him. Each day he spent at the Rocky R, he enjoyed learning something new about her, and that disconcerted him.
“We’d better start back,” he said curtly.
“I thought we could walk along the stream for a while—”
“I don’t want Janine to think I deserted her.”
“What’s wrong, Rafe?”
When he looked into Shannon’s beautiful brown eyes, he felt even more unsettled. “Nothing’s wrong.”
“One minute everything was peaceful. You were relaxed—”
“Don’t try to analyze me. Janine’s your patient. I’m not.”
Shannon took a step back, and a hurt look came into her eyes. It couldn’t be, could it? A woman like her would have a tough hide. Wouldn’t she?
If he had seen hurt, it wasn’t there for long. Shannon brushed her hair back and squared her shoulders. “No, you’re not my client. But how you act, what you do, what you think and what you feel does affect Janine.”
“I already told you I know I’m the reason she’s not talking.”
“I still don’t think that’s true. She has to come to terms with what happened to her, but you do, too.”
“I have.”
“You haven’t,” she argued. “You’re angry about what happened, and you have every right to be. But at some point you’re going to have to let go of the anger.”
He’d thought he’d hidden it so well. He’d thought he’d covered it with patience. He’d thought he’d pushed it aside so he could help his daughter. Shannon saw too clearly, and he didn’t like that at all. “When I get my daughter back, then I’ll stop feeling as if fate is an underhanded, dirty dealer.”
Although Shannon’s voice was compassionate, her words were direct. “Janine might never be the little girl she was before your wife died. You have to be prepared for that.”
“I’m not. I brought her here so you could get her over this.”
“And I’ll do my best. But everything that happens to us changes us a little. What happened to Janine changed her a lot. It changed you, too.”
“How do you know?” he growled.
“Intuition.”
He scoffed at that. Shannon Collins thought she knew so much. He’d learned very young not to let anyone really know him—certainly not his mother, who was more interested in her boyfriends than him, definitely not the foster families who took him in and didn’t care what he did or who he became. He realized now, Nancy hadn’t really known him, either. She’d seen him as her protector. She’d looked to him for everything she’d needed. Because of that he’d constantly played the role of White Knight, never letting her see the chinks in his armor.
Turning away from Shannon and the field of wild-flowers, he walked back to his horse. When he began Shannon’s pavilion in a few days, he would hammer out his anger and his frustrations. The sheer physical exertion would get his mind off Shannon Collins and the bedlam inside him that she caused.
In her office checking notes on her clients’ chart at noon the following day, Shannon heard the phone ring and knew Cora would get it. She was having enough trouble keeping her mind on her work without interruptions.
I’m not your patient. Janine is.
She’d felt unreasonably hurt at Rafe’s words last night. She’d tried to put that hurt aside, but she couldn’t forget about it. It was obvious he didn’t want her to get close. It was obvious he’d put up protective walls that weren’t coming down anytime soon.
Usually Cora buzzed Shannon if she needed to take the call, but now her aunt came to stand in the doorway of her office. “It’s Mr. Donneker, and he doesn’t sound happy,” Cora warned her.
Shannon had hoped Jordy Donneker would call to make an appointment to see her so they could discuss the progress his daughter had and hadn’t made in therapy. She had a feeling he wasn’t calling to make an appointment.
“Hello, Mr. Donneker,” she said pleasantly.
“I want my money back.”
“Mr. Donneker, if you would come to the Rocky R so we could talk about this—”
“There’s nothing to talk about. I brought Krissie to you because her teacher told me you could help her get her grades up. Well, she got all Cs and Ds on her report card. That’s not gettin’ ’em up.”
Krissie Donneker was nine years old. When she’d come to Shannon in March, she’d been afraid of her own shadow. In Shannon’s estimation, that was due to Jordy Donneker’s outbursts, his critical attitude and lack of skills as a single parent. Shannon had hoped to eventually persuade him to come into counseling with his daughter, though she knew that would be a hard sell. After discussing Krissie with her teacher, Shannon had realized the nine-year-old’s poor grades were more a result of her unhappiness at home than any difficulty in learning. She’d only seen Krissie once every two weeks for three months, but Shannon had felt they were making progress in confidence building. Although her final grades hadn’t improved much, her teacher had told Shannon that she saw a change in Krissie and the way she related to the other students. She was friendlier, less tentative, was responding more in class without being prodded.
“We need to discuss the progress Krissie did make,” Shannon said firmly.
“I ain’t seen no progress. I don’t have money to spend on her coming to you and playing with horses. It’s not like we have an insurance that covers it. As far as I’m concerned, you took me across, and I want my money back. You don’t give it to me, and I’m going to hire myself a lawyer.”
To Shannon’s frustration and dismay, he hung up.
When she put down the receiver, she knew Jordy Donneker wasn’t making empty threats. In his mind, she’d cheated him.
Should she just give him his money back?
She leaned back in her desk chair with a sigh. If she did that, she’d be setting a precedent. She had insurance for this type of thing….
She knew she should consult a lawyer.
A thought entered her head. Rafe was a lawyer.
Yes, he was. But she suspected he didn’t want to get involved in her life any more than he wanted her involved in his.
Shannon glanced up at the clock on the wall. She had an hour and a half before her next client arrived. Lunchtime was catch as catch can on the Rocky R. Cora kept the refrigerator stocked. Rafe and Janine usually ate at the house, and Shannon grabbed whatever she could on the run. Sometimes she had back-to-back clients and no time for more than sunflower seeds and an apple.
But today she needed peace and quiet more than she needed lunch. There was only one way to really get that.
Taking her hat from the rack on the wall, she set it on her head, letting the strap dangle under her chin. She stopped at Cora’s desk to tell her, “I’m going for a ride.”
“Too much on your plate?”
“You know me too well,” Shannon said with affection in her voice.
“I know you bite off more than you can chew. You always have. You don’t have to prove anything to anyone, honey.”
Cora’s words made Shannon’s throat tighten. As a little girl, she’d thought if she was good enough, if she could do everything well enough, then maybe her dad would love her. Maybe he’d stop yelling. Maybe he’d stop punching. For a moment Cora’s words brought it all back, and she took a deep breath. She hadn’t thought about any of this for years. Again she asked herself, Why now?
“I need to clear my head and figure out the best way to handle everything,” she explained vaguely to her aunt.
“Including having a stranger under your roof?”
“Especially that.”
Before Cora could ask any more questions or probe too deeply, Shannon went to the corral and gave a loud whistle. Gray Lady tossed her head up and came running from the pasture toward Shannon, tail flying. Shannon saddled her horse quickly, knowing her time was limited if she wanted to ride out to the meadow by the creek and get back for her next appointment. But that’s where she needed to go. She needed to sit in the middle of those flowers with the sunshine pouring down on her. Some people took showers to clear their heads. Others took long walks. She went and sat in the meadow.
As Shannon crossed the terrain she and Rafe had traveled the evening before, she tried not to think about him but kept her attention on her surroundings. The knee-high corn, the long grass, golden in the midday sun, the scent of honeysuckle and sun-warmed earth were pleasant and familiar. She was looking up at the expanse of wonderfully blue sky when she heard the hum of a helicopter in the distance again. But this chopper didn’t stay in the distance.
The sound grew louder and louder until Gray Lady slowed to a stop in spite of Shannon urging her forward. Shannon patted the mare on the neck. “It’s okay. It’ll be gone soon.”
The mare didn’t like the idea of the big machine coming anywhere near her and she skittered sideways.
Shannon thought about dismounting, but knew the hum wouldn’t last much longer. She urged Lady forward again, and the mare started walking reluctantly.
As the helicopter hovered above them at its loudest, Shannon caught movement out of the corner of her eye and saw a fox practically leap from a grove of almonds directly in front of the skittish horse. Lady reared up and Shannon fell to the ground hard on her shoulder.
The fall knocked the wind out of her, and before she could get her breath back, Lady was running from the sound of the chopper as well as from the fox, leaving Shannon on the ground and filled with dismay. She called after her horse, but her voice was lost. When she pushed herself to a sitting position, her left shoulder hurt and she rubbed it.
Checking her watch, she hurriedly got to her feet. Even if she walked fast she wouldn’t be back at the ranch by her next appointment. Suddenly she felt dizzy and she sat back down again, dropping her head between her knees. She was just shaken up, she told herself. She’d be fine in a few minutes, and then she’d start back.
Still about a mile and a half from the ranch, Shannon saw Rafe riding toward her with Gray Lady in tow. She should be thrilled to see him, but she knew she looked a mess. She was sweating profusely under her hat and her T-shirt was sticking to her, damp with sweat. Her jeans were dusty from the fall. And her hair? She just wouldn’t take her hat off, that was all.
With a relieved expression on his face, Rafe rode closer, and she could feel his gaze raking her up and down.
“I’m fine,” she said before he could ask. Yet her voice was a lot weaker than she would like it to be.
After he dismounted, he took a bottle of water from his saddlebag and came toward her, handing it to her. “Drink,” he ordered.
She took the bottle gratefully and swallowed at least a quarter of it while Lady brushed her nose against Shannon’s arm as if apologizing for running off.
When Shannon stopped drinking and patted Lady’s neck, telling her she forgave her, Rafe asked, “What happened?”
“Lady spooked when a helicopter hovered overhead and a fox ran out in front of her.”
“You really are all right?” He was frowning and checking her over again.
“Just had the wind knocked out of me. Let’s get going. I’ve got clients to see.”
He caught her elbow. It was the side she’d fallen on, and she winced when she felt the tug on her shoulder.
“You’re not fine.”
“I’m just a little sore. Really, Rafe. Just hot and thirsty and feeling like a fool.”
“You’re no fool, Shannon. This could have happened to anyone.”
“I hope everyone isn’t worried.”
“We were worried. But Cora reminded me before I left that you can take care of yourself. I promised Janine I’d find you…or Lady would,” he added with a small smile.
Even though she was sore and hot, she couldn’t ignore the quickening in her body when she looked up at Rafe. “We’ve got to get back,” she said again, and this time moved quickly toward Lady’s side before he could stop her.
His legs were longer than hers, and he was beside her in an instant. “I’ll help you up. You probably don’t want to pull on that shoulder.”
He was close enough behind her that she could feel his body heat. She put her foot in the stirrup and took hold of the saddle’s pommel with her good hand, intending not to need Rafe…intending to do this herself. But she simply couldn’t do it one-handed. When she tried to pull herself up with both, her shoulder did hurt. He must have seen her wince, because his hands were on her bottom, and then he was boosting her up, and she was on top of the horse before she knew it—with the imprint of his palm burned into her jeans.
She looked down at him. “Now you need a Stetson,” she mumbled.
“Why?”
“Because you’re acting like a real cowboy.” She couldn’t help but smile at him.
“The next time we go into town, I’ll see what I can do about that.” And he smiled back.
She could count the number of times she’d seen Rafe really smile. It practically made her bones melt. She turned serious then and kept her gaze steady on his. “Thank you for coming to find me. You must have remembered everything about our ride last night.”
“I remembered,” he responded simply, and everything about their conversation came back to her again…everything that she’d ridden out here to forget.
She broke eye contact and took hold of her reins. When Rafe stepped away from Lady, she guided her horse toward the Rocky R, not any clearer now on what she should do about Jordy Donneker—or about Rafe.
As they rode back to the ranch, Rafe kept a watchful eye on Shannon. Just because she’d said she was fine, didn’t mean she was. He suspected that shoulder might be hurting her more than she was letting on. He’d never met a woman as gutsy as she was and again wondered what had made her that way. After he’d found her, he’d wanted to gather her into his arms and kiss her until he forgot how worried he’d been when her dappled gray mare had come back to the Rocky R alone. Not kissing Shannon again was an endurance test, and he didn’t know how much longer he could hold out.
Shannon nudged her horse into a faster pace and then slowed. He’d bet his boots her shoulder hurt when it was jostled.
As they arrived at the corral, Cora, Clancy and Janine came over to them. Shannon didn’t wait for Rafe to help her dismount, and he’d expected that.
“I’m fine,” she said quickly to Cora and Clancy with a smile, but then went over to Janine and knelt down before her. “Were you worried about me?” Shannon asked the little girl.
Janine stood perfectly still.
“My horse heard noises she didn’t like. Then a fox ran out in front of her, scaring her. When she reared up, I fell off. I was walking back when your dad found me. I’m glad he did, because it’s a very long walk.”
After studying Shannon’s face for a few moments, Janine threw her arms around Shannon’s neck and hugged her hard. Immediately Shannon returned the hug, holding the little girl securely.
The scene tightened Rafe’s chest. There was a bond forming between Janine and Shannon. Not only that, his daughter had shown more emotion in the past week than she had in the past eighteen months. That was real progress, as far as he was concerned. Maybe this therapy was going to work after all.
After Shannon stood, Cora informed her, “Michelle Lawrence and her mother waited a half hour, and then left. Agnes Broney brought Artie about ten minutes ago and they’re waiting in your office.”
“I have back-to-back clients today. I’d better get over there. I’ll call Michelle’s mother myself later and reschedule her appointment. Can you get me a clean T-shirt from the house, and one of my ponytail bands?”
“Sure can.” Cora glanced down at Janine. “Do you want to come with me?”
The little girl nodded, followed Cora to the house, with Buster trotting along beside them.
Shannon had turned toward her office when Rafe said, “You really should put some ice on your shoulder.”
But she just shook her head. “I don’t have time for that now. I’ll do it later.” Then her brown eyes locked to his. “Thanks again for finding me.”
Deep in his heart Rafe knew Shannon Collins didn’t accept help often, and certainly didn’t need a rescuer. Truth be told, he’d gotten tired of being Nancy’s white knight. But he’d liked giving Shannon a hand today. And he suddenly knew she would do the same thing for him. “No problem,” he muttered, and then added, “and I’ll look for that Stetson when I go into town.”
At that she smiled and then took off toward her office.
Clancy was standing by the corral. Going over to the boy, Rafe knew there was one more thing he could do for Shannon. “Shannon fell on her shoulder today. It’ll probably be even more sore by evening, though she won’t admit it.”
Clancy gave an understanding nod. “I’ll make sure all the stalls are clean so she doesn’t have to do it. I’ll get all the horses in and fed, too.” There was no sullenness about Clancy now, just a willingness to help a woman he apparently admired.
“I’ll give you a hand,” Rafe offered.
Clancy looked surprised but didn’t object.
Rafe and Clancy completed the chores before Shannon finished with her last client in the corral. A man in a red SUV picked up Clancy. Jim Brenneman introduced himself to Rafe through his open car window. He looked to be in his sixties, had thinning brown hair and was congenial and pleasant. Again Rafe wondered about Clancy’s story.
At supper a half hour later, Rafe noticed Shannon wasn’t moving her shoulder. “Did you put ice on that yet?” he asked her as they cleared the table after the meal.
“I’m going to get a shower now. Then I will. Thanks for helping Clancy finish up the chores. I appreciate it.”
“I figured you might.” He wanted to kiss her, yet he knew they’d both be better off if he didn’t.
After Rafe went outside, he saw Janine was dividing her attention between watching Cora do needlework on the swing on the front porch and playing with a kitten. He caught the whiff of roses growing along the side of the house. After the day that Shannon had had, maybe she would appreciate a few flowers. He still felt guilty about what he’d said to her last night. Though it was true, he hadn’t intended to sound so harsh.
After finding some scissors in the kitchen, he cut two red roses and a delicate yellow one, added a few fern fronds and took them into the kitchen intending to look for something to put them in.
Instead, he found Shannon with the freezer door open. She was wearing a turquoise-and-white terry cloth romper. It molded to her breasts, laid seductively over her hips, showed off her beautifully curved legs. His blood ran fast and his pulse sped up.
Shannon removed an ice pack from the freezer and shut the door. Then she saw him standing there, the flowers in his hand.
“These are for you,” he said huskily, wanting to stroke her beautiful curly hair, wanting to kiss her until they both forgot everything that was wrong with the world.
Shannon slowly put the ice pack on the counter and took the flowers from him. Then she did something that he never expected to see Shannon do.
She cried!