Hannah popped U2 from her ears and slowed as she approached her driveway. The morning was fresh but she felt wilted in the heat. Sweat coated her body, and her legs trembled and throbbed. But the run was well worth the endorphins she was now experiencing. She punched in her garage code and ducked under the rising door. More stifling heat welcomed her, and she made a note to rise even earlier the next morning. Six o’clock just wasn’t cutting it.
The house was a welcome wall of cold, and she paused in the kitchen to wipe her face and neck with her Nike towel. She grabbed an icy water bottle and sipped as she sank into a kitchen chair. She’d been running for over a week now, and her body was finally growing accustomed. She’d promised herself she’d give it five days before quitting from the pain and stress. But thankfully, her body had caught up and decided to play along. Now she couldn’t imagine a morning without breathing in that chest clearing high.
She sipped more water and headed to the shower. Casey was no doubt still sleeping, and he’d passed on this morning’s run, complaining about being up too late the night before. The price of being eighteen. Thankfully, Hannah was able to sleep some now, and she had a feeling it had to do with how hard she was pushing herself physically. The exercise also seemed to be helping her spirits. She was thinking more positively, even when it came to Sasha. She wanted her to be happy, and all she could do was be the best person she could be. The rest…she’d have to let it fall into place.
She showered quickly and dressed in khaki shorts and a light blue tee. She slid into her leather sandals and locked the door behind her as she entered the garage. She climbed in the truck, checked her watch, and drove quickly to the nearby coffee shop. To her surprise, the place was already crawling with people. What happened to sleeping in on a Saturday? She found a rare parking space and crossed the pavement to enter the shop. The strong scent of coffee smacked her in the face it was so rich. It made her want a cup all the more. But first she had to look for Mickey. She wove between tables and decided to sit. A quick check of her watch showed her she was early. Something she definitely wasn’t used to.
“Are you early or late?” a woman at the next table asked. She flipped her auburn hair back over her shoulder and smiled. She gestured toward Hannah’s watch.
“Oh. Early.”
“Impressive. I’m early too. Always early. It sucks doesn’t it? You always end up waiting.”
Hannah smiled, unsure what to do. The woman was beautiful with dark hazel eyes and deeply painted lips. And she was staring at Hannah in a playful kind of way, letting her know the conversation was far from over.
“I’m usually late,” Hannah confessed.
“Oh no. You’re my pet peeve. Whatever shall we do?”
Hannah felt herself flush. The woman laughed. She stuck out her hand.
“Brandy.”
“Hannah.”
“Hello, Hannah. Habitually late Hannah. It’s nice to meet you.”
“You too.”
The woman crossed her long legs and bobbed a sandaled foot. Her white shorts showed off her tan, and her linen blouse was loose, revealing a white tank top underneath. A sea tortoise charm rested on a necklace at the base of her throat.
“It’s for protection,” she said, catching Hannah’s eye. She fingered the charm. “Got it in the Bahamas.”
“It’s nice.”
“Thank you. My niece bought it for me. She thinks I need protecting.”
Hannah nodded, wanting to know why, but she didn’t push.
“She says I’m too friendly. Too trusting of strangers.”
“Ah.”
“I am, aren’t I?” She laughed. “No need to answer. Your face says it all.”
Hannah flushed again. “I’m not sure what to say.”
“Say what to who?” Mickey asked, pulling out a chair to sit down. “You’re early. What gives?”
Brandy laughed again.
“Nothing.”
“Who’s this?” Mickey asked.
“Brandy,” she said and stuck out her hand again. “I was just having a conversation with your friend here.”
“Really?” Mickey raised her eyebrow at Hannah, and Hannah wanted to smack her. “About what?”
“Oh, it’s top secret. For us only.”
“I see.” Mickey was grinning.
“Why don’t you go get the coffee?” Hannah asked Mickey. She couldn’t bear to look at her.
“Good idea. I’ll just go get the drinks.” She stood and made her way to the counter. She knew what Hannah wanted. What Hannah always got. An iced chai latte.
“She’s spunky,” Brandy said. “But she’s not yours.”
“What? No.”
“What a relief.”
Hannah looked at her and found her eyes penetrating. “So, Hannah. When are you going to ask me out? Before your friend gets back or after?”
Hannah looked to Mickey who was giving her the thumbs up.
“Or are you going to tell me you are taken after all?”
“I’m—not taken.”
“Good.”
“I’m just—”
“Painfully shy?”
Hannah pushed out a held breath. “I’m just not sure I’m ready.”
“I see. Well, how about I give you my number and you can take your time and decide?”
She rose from her chair and came to stand next to Hannah. She reached for her hand and tickled her palm with a pen. Then she gave it a squeeze and let go.
“I hope you call, Hannah. You seem to be something special.”
She started to walk away.
“Aren’t you going to wait for your friend?”
“Oh, I’m not waiting this morning. I’m just observing.” She winked at her and walked out the door.
Mickey hurried back to the table and set down their drinks. “Who in the holy hell was that?”
“That was Brandy.” Hannah stared off after her. What just happened? Did she just get hit on? She looked at her palm. Yes, she had.
“She wrote her number on your hand? Sexy. A little junior high but sexy nevertheless.”
“She wants me to take my time and decide if I want to ask her out.”
Mickey slapped the table. “That’s what I’m talking about. Good people. I told you there were good women out there for you.”
“You did not.”
“Well, in a roundabout way I did. I found someone too that I’d like to introduce you to.”
“No.”
“You haven’t even heard me out.”
“Mick, I know you, and I know for a fact I will not like the woman you chose for me.”
Her mouth fell open. “Take that back.”
“I won’t.”
Mickey sipped her coffee and sighed. “You know, Hannah, sometimes you’re a real pain in the ass.”
“So I’ve heard. I’m still not meeting your woman.”
She held up her hand. “Fine. Have it your way. But please tell me you’re going to call Brandy and ask her out.”
Hannah shrugged.
“Hannah.”
“I’ll think about it.” She said it mainly so Mickey would get off her case, but deep down she did intend on thinking about it. Brandy was attractive and witty. She’d made her laugh as well as made her blush. Why shouldn’t she give it a shot? She had nothing to lose at this point.
Could she really do it though? Ask out another woman? Could she fight off the fear and the guilt both?
She drank her chai tea latte and mulled it over. They say this was how these things happened. That you could literally just stumble into love when you least expected it. She’d never given credence to such beliefs, but then again she’d never had to.
“You’re thinking too hard,” Mickey said. “I can hear the old rusty cogs a turnin’.”
“I’m just worried I’ll ask her out and then not be able to follow through. Or that I’ll clam up and be a dud. I haven’t done this in a very long time, and my heart…is shattered. I don’t even think it beats the same way it did before.”
She spun her cup.
“If I do this, Mick. If I do this, will you swear to get off my case about dating? As in never say another word?”
Mickey leaned back and crossed her arms. “I don’t know about never.”
“Then I won’t do it.”
Mickey eyed her and chewed on her lower lip. “Okay. But only because I really do think this will be good for you.”
“Shake on it.” Hannah squeezed her hand.
“Great, now when are you going to call her? And where are you going to take her?”
Hannah stared at her drink. “That, I don’t know.”
“What about dinner?”
Hannah shook her head. Everything was making her think of Sasha.
“A movie?”
She shook her head again. Sasha.
“Okay, how about—”
“I’ll know it when I see it,” Hannah said. “For now, I’ve just got to work up enough guts to make the phone call.”
Mickey nodded.
Hannah’s knee bobbed up and down, and she couldn’t seem to calm herself down. She tried to drink more of her latte, but the nerves only grew in size. She drummed her fingers on the table. Her mind spun. Sasha and Brandy swirling around together in a sick twister of sorts.
“I can’t sit here any longer.” She pushed away from the table and stood.
Mickey did as well, concern lining her face.
“What’s wrong?”
“I just have too much on my mind. I need to take off.”
“Okay, okay. I know the perfect place.” She led her from the coffee house to their vehicles. “Follow me, my good friend. I’m about to make you feel a whole lot better.”
* * *
Hannah collapsed onto her bed after spending nearly three hours with Mickey at the batting cages. Her arms felt like spaghetti, and the rest of her didn’t feel all that much better. If she didn’t have to move in the next few days, her life would be great.
“Mom?”
She didn’t budge. “Yeah?”
“Did you work out without me?”
“No.”
“Then why are you all sweaty? And you’ve been gone forever.”
“Hit balls. With bats. Mickey.”
“Oh. Mick, huh? I’m surprised you’re not drunk.”
“No. No drink. Not anymore.”
She felt him sit on the bed. She desperately wanted to fall asleep, but she could tell by his tone that he wanted to talk.
“What’s up?” she asked.
She felt him fidget.
“Case?”
He laughed but she heard the nerves. “I, uh, I’ve met someone.”
She managed to lift her head. “Huh?”
“I’ve met someone, and I think it’s time you meet her.”
She pushed herself up. “Wait. When? Who?” Casey had dated off and on in high school, but he’d never come to talk to her about a girl before.
“We met at the community college. Her name is Abby.”
“Oh.”
But he wasn’t finished. She could tell by the way his face was void of color. By the way he picked at the comforter. By the way he wouldn’t look at her.
She waited.
He took a deep breath. “She thinks she might be pregnant.”
Hannah choked on her own saliva. “Wha?”
Casey tried to smile. “It’s not for sure yet, but I’m acting as if it is. Trying to prepare I guess. So I thought I’d better let you know about her before, you know, we find out.”
Hannah coughed and slapped her own chest.
“Pregnant? Girlfriend? Casey, you didn’t even tell me you were seeing someone.”
He lifted a shoulder. “I know. I guess because at first it wasn’t very serious. But then as time went on, we grew closer and saw each other more. I don’t know, I guess I wanted my privacy?”
Hannah stared at him in disbelief. “Privacy? Are you kidding me? Casey I’ve never done anything to you to warrant you keeping things from me. Have I?”
“No. Not really. But you don’t understand. This made me feel so grown up.”
“Well, how grown up do you feel now?”
He hung his head and started to stand.
“Casey, I’m sorry. I’m just shocked. And I don’t understand how it could happen. I taught you about protection, gave you condoms.”
“We did use protection, Mom.”
His concrete stare told her he was telling the truth. She wiped sweat from her face and stood.
“When will you know for sure?”
“When she tells me.”
Hannah took a big breath and tried to calm her heart rate. To think, her baby boy, a father. It terrified her for him. “I need to take a shower. We’ll talk about this later.”
He stood as well. “There’s nothing to talk about. It is what it is.” He left her room and slammed the door behind him.
I did not handle that well.
She reached for her phone and began to dial. But then she stopped and tossed her phone on the bed. She was going on instinct. Wanting and needing to talk to the one person who would understand. She was about to call Sasha.