Hannah had just hung up from speaking with the third coach when her cell phone rang in her palm. She jumped and almost sent it to voice mail, but then stopped cold. She leaned against her truck and answered.
“Sasha?”
“Hi.”
She could tell something was wrong right away. “Are you all right?”
“You’re not going to believe this…could you give me another ride home?”
Hannah eased into her hot vehicle and started the engine, blasting the AC. She had a million things to do. Like find a hotel for the dozens of softball players coming in next month for a big tournament. Then she had to find coaches and umpires. Not to mention going over paperwork from last weekend’s tournament. She couldn’t have called at a worse time.
But worrying about work was what the old Hannah would do. She knew if Sasha was calling and asking, there was a good reason why. She headed out of her office to the parking lot.
“Are you at work?”
“No, I’m at my nephrologist. Do you mind?”
“I’m on my way.”
Sasha sounded completely relieved. “Thank you so much, Hannah. I owe you.”
She ended the call, and Hannah thought of all the ways she’d like her to pay her. Times past came to mind and she remembered many an intimate moment. But she shook them from her mind and wondered instead why Sasha was there. She recalled that her appointment wasn’t for a few days yet. She hoped all was well, but she didn’t count on it. Why else would Sasha need a ride home? She must be sick.
Hannah sped up, too worried about her not to. She reached the doctor’s office in record time and pulled up to the front quickly. She got out to run inside, but Sasha was already on her way out. To Hannah’s dismay, she looked worse than she had the last time she’d seen her. Hannah tried to hide the shock that she knew was on her face.
“Hi.” She took her things, tossed them in the back, and then opened the door for her. Sasha slipped on her designer shades but not before Hannah saw the red around her eyes and the smudged eyeliner and mascara.
Sasha crawled in the truck. Hannah pushed the door closed and hurried to her side. She climbed in, closed her door, and looked at her.
“What’s wrong?”
Sasha shook her head.
Hannah didn’t press. They were no longer together and she had no right to. If Sasha didn’t want to share the details of her health, she didn’t have to. Hannah reached for her hand and squeezed. To her surprise, Sasha gripped her hard and held on to her. She began to softly cry.
Hannah drove on, slowly and carefully, toward Bonnie’s. Sasha had settled a bit by the time they arrived. Hannah killed the engine. Sasha stopped her from getting out by pulling on her hand.
“I don’t want you to leave,” she said.
Hannah nodded. “Okay.”
Sasha released her, and Hannah helped her from the truck. Hannah carried her things and they went inside. Sasha sat on the couch and blew her nose. Hannah sat with her. She brushed her hair back from her face, and Sasha leaned into her and held her tight.
Hannah held her in return and allowed her to cry. She stroked her back and told her all would be well. That everything would be okay.
But Sasha shook her head and sat up. “It’s not, Hannah. It’s not going to be okay.”
“Why?” Hannah asked softly. “Can you tell me?”
Sasha held her forehead. “My kidneys. They are spilling too much protein and he doesn’t know why. It’s a condition called nephrotic syndrome.”
“So what does this mean?”
“It explains why I feel like shit. I’m retaining fluid; I’m weak and short of breath.”
“Is it something he can fix?”
“He’s not sure because he doesn’t know what’s causing it. He wants me to have a biopsy.”
Hannah sat back and stared at the painting on the wall. “Okay.”
“I knew something was wrong. I knew it.”
Hannah tried to calm her. “I’m sure the biopsy will help him and we’ll get a handle on it.”
Sasha wiped her eyes. “Thing is…my kidney function has lowered. He’s worried it’s damaging my kidneys.” Sasha looked at her. “My function can’t go much lower, Hannah. I’ll need dialysis.”
Hannah patted her hand. Touched her face. She wanted so badly to kiss her. So gently. So carefully. But instead she said the only thing she could think to say.
“It’ll be okay, Sash. You’ll see. Please try not to worry before you have definitive answers. You will only hurt yourself if you do.”
Sasha eventually nodded. Sniffed. “I know, I’m being ridiculous. I’m just so damn scared. I wasn’t planning on dealing with this shit until I was older. I was hoping my kidneys would last that long.”
“I know. And they still might. We just don’t know anything really right now.”
“No, we don’t.”
Sasha leaned into her once again. “I’m tired now. Will you walk me up to bed?”
“Of course.”
Sasha sat up. “Thank you, Hannah, for being there for me.” She smiled and then looked at her hands as if nervous. “It’s funny, but I feel closer to you now than I did when we were together these last couple of years.”
“I’m glad I can be here for you. Whenever you need me. I should’ve always been.”
They rose without another word, and Hannah walked her up to her room. She helped her into bed and then sat beside her.
“Do you need me to stay?”
Sasha blinked her eyes closed. “No, I’ll be fine. I just needed someone who cared. And that happened to be you.”
Hannah kissed her cheek, careful not to linger. She didn’t want to inhale the scent of her soft skin or the fragrance of her shampoo. She wouldn’t be able to handle it.
She left her quietly and pulled the door closed partway. Sasha was already softly snoring. Hannah’s heart warmed at the sound, and she hurried down the stairs and back out the door before her heart got the better of her and she ran back upstairs to crawl in bed with her, holding her and this time never letting her go.
The thought was wistful and magical, and she was lost in it as she walked to her truck. The intense heat saturated her skin, lulling her along in her dreamlike state. She was blissful and content when someone put their hand on her truck door preventing her from opening it.
Charlie.
Hannah stepped back in shock. “What the hell?”
Charlie whipped off her mirrored sunglasses. “Well, at least now I know why Sasha’s happy to be rid of me.”
Hannah knotted her eyebrows and heated with anger. “What are you talking about?” She yanked open her door, causing Charlie to move back.
“You. You’re back in the picture. I should’ve known. I should’ve known.”
Hannah steeled herself behind her door. “I don’t know what the fuck is going on with you. But if Sasha got rid of you it was for a damn good reason. Now get the hell out of here or I’ll be the last face you ever see.”
“Are you threatening me?”
“Damn right. If she doesn’t want you around then you better not be around. Got it?”
Charlie laughed and held up her hands. “Yeah, whatever, Grandma.” She grinned.
The comment stung, but Hannah didn’t react by showing it. Instead she waited and watched as Charlie climbed back into her car and drove off.
“Asshole.” She got behind the wheel and started the engine. She sat for ten minutes making sure Charlie didn’t come back, all the while wondering what had happened between Sasha and Charlie. But most of all she wondered yet again what had happened between Sasha and herself.