Hannah stood inside the rock climbing center staring at her friends wondering what the hell she’d gotten herself into. Mickey and her girlfriend were already almost to the top, while Hannah hung toward the back, all geared up but still scared shitless.
Brandy, who come to find out was actually an instructor part-time, had gotten her outfitted and ready to go.
“Here’s some chalk for your hands,” she said, showing Hannah how to apply it. Hannah did so and then shook her arms out as if that would help her nerves somehow. Then she marched in place and Brandy laughed.
“You don’t have to do this, you know.”
Hannah stopped her movement. “No, no, I’m going to do it. I said I would and I will.”
She’d thought about it so much that she had to do it now. She wouldn’t let her mind rest otherwise.
“Are you trying to impress me?” Brandy asked. “Because it’s not needed. I already like you.” She tugged on her shirt at her hips. Hannah could see the desire in her eyes and on her cheeks. Her lips were full and parted. She wanted to kiss her. Hannah knew it. She backed away.
Brandy looked perplexed. “Too close too soon?”
Hannah laughed nervously. “Something like that.” She recalled the same look in Sasha that night in the Jeep. The way she’d looked at her so hungrily like she’d never wanted anything more. She recalled the feel of her moist lips, the heat of her pressing tongue. It had been enough to send her over in climax that night alone in bed and every night since. If only she wouldn’t have reacted so strongly to her touch. She’d cursed herself relentlessly over it, trying to understand it. It had just been such a shock that she’d panicked and fled, more than embarrassed. Of course who knew where that left Sasha. She probably felt worse, as if she’d done something wrong or hurt her. Hannah had tried calling her again and again, but Sasha wouldn’t return her calls. She’d even driven by Bonnie’s house only to find the Jeep gone.
What was there left to do? She had to talk to her somehow. To explain and apologize. If only Sasha would let her.
Mickey whooped as she came down from the top of the wall. Hannah smiled but only for show. Inside she was reeling with fear. But if she bowed out now, Mickey would never let her hear the end of it. In fact, Mickey was the only reason she was there. She wouldn’t be able to stand her showboating and gloating if she didn’t climb the wall too.
Brandy, on the other hand, had been a good reason to come. Hannah had thought she’d made a new friend. But the way Brandy was behaving today, it was obvious she was looking for more.
“Okay, tough stuff,” Brandy said, pulling on Hannah. “It’s your turn.” She walked Hannah to the face of the rock wall and rechecked her gear. Mickey had just stepped out of hers and she was already starting.
“If you get stuck, don’t cry.” She slapped Hannah on the shoulder.
“If I get stuck, I will never forgive you,” Hannah said.
Brandy frowned playfully. “You’ll forgive me, right?”
Hannah didn’t answer, just knelt to double-check her shoes. As she did, her cell phone fell out of her pocket. Brandy scooped it up.
“Won’t be needing this,” she said and slipped it into her own pocket.
Hannah wanted to protest, but Brandy was right. There was no room for it, and if it fell while she was near the top it would most likely break.
“Ready?” Brandy asked
“Come on, Hannah, you got this,” Mickey said.
Hannah didn’t look back and she didn’t look up. She stared straight ahead.
I got this, I got this.
She took a deep breath, and with Brandy letting her know she had her, Hannah began to climb. The first thing she thought of as she moved up the wall, was that she needed way more hand and finger strength and her feet needed to be two sizes smaller. She struggled as she got close to halfway. Her hands were on fire and her right foot was supporting all her weight. She tried to calm her breathing, but she was millimeters from the wall. Her hot breath merely blew right back in her face.
“Shit.” She tried lifting her left foot, but the next grip was too far away. It would have to be her right. She closed her eyes to concentrate and she heard voices below, calling up encouragement. Her arms began to shake. She had to do something. Gritting her teeth, she pulled herself up with all her might and landed her right foot on the peg just before her left one gave out and slipped off. She struggled and somehow managed to find another peg for her left foot. She pressed against the wall and took in a long, shaky breath. She then moved up some more, wanting the whole thing to be over with. Her legs began to ache and shake. She didn’t look down, but she didn’t have to. Her body knew. Her mind knew. She grew dizzy with fear, as if she were on a shaky old ladder.
She wanted to turn her head, to call down that she was finished, but she didn’t dare. She still had her pride. Mickey’s voice trailed off and so did Brandy’s. They sounded like they were talking to each other. She no longer paid attention. Instead, she gathered her strength once again and pulled herself upward. She wanted to laugh, to smile, to shout with victory, but her breath was hitched with cold fear. One more step and she’d made it.
Sweat beaded down from her helmet. She blinked it away from her eyes and tried with all her might to move. But her right foot slipped, and she cried out and clung to the wall.
“Oh, God.”
She had slipped. Now she was struggling to find the peg again. Her heart raced and she cried out again.
“I’m done. Get me down.” She made the mistake of looking down at her friends. She yanked her head back up and slammed it against the wall. And with the air pushed from her lungs, she was falling. Her whole body tightened, and she gripped her safety rope just before it caught her fall. She cursed and called down to Brandy. She wasn’t aware of her words, she just wanted down.
Slowly, Brandy eased her down, and as soon as her feet hit the floor, she tore off her gear.
“You did an awesome job,” Brandy said. “Especially for your first time.” She tried to help her, but Hannah pushed her hands away. Then she took off her helmet and flung it behind her.
She crossed to the bench where Mickey and her girlfriend sat. Hannah sat and ripped off her shoes.
“What’s wrong with you?”
Hannah clenched her jaw. She didn’t want to complain or sound like a baby. She just wanted to go home. She’d done it. She’d climbed the damn rock wall. She’d faced her fear. Enough said.
“Nothing.”
“You made it to the top. I’m impressed.”
“Well, then all is good isn’t it? Mick is impressed.”
Hannah shoved her feet into her Nike trainers and stood.
Brandy came to her. “Something wrong?”
“No, nothing.”
“I’m really proud of you,” she said. “Let’s go out to celebrate.”
Hannah was about to decline when Mickey handed over her cell phone. There had been a call.
“Sasha called while you were up there.”
Hannah stared at her. “And you answered?”
“She kept calling and Brandy had to concentrate on you so she tossed it to me.”
“And you answered?”
“Yeah. I thought it might be an emergency or something. But it wasn’t. I told her you were busy climbing a rock at the moment.”
“And I told her what a good job you were doing,” Faith said.
Hannah couldn’t believe her ears. “You did what?” She started pressing buttons on her phone, desperate to call her back. She didn’t answer.
“What did she say?” Hannah pointed the question at Mickey.
She shrugged. “She said not to bother you. And she hung up.”
Hannah gathered her things and grabbed her keys.
“You’re leaving?” Brandy asked. She looked confused and a little hurt.
Hannah didn’t have time to explain or to feel guilty. All she could think about was Sasha. Did she need her? Was something wrong?
“I’ve got to go.” She turned and hurried out the door, leaving Brandy with a truly perplexed look on her face and Mickey calling after her.