“We’re late,” Hannah said as she slid out of her truck and smoothed down her jeans and button-down white shirt. She rolled up her sleeves as the warmth from the evening air settled on her like the baking heat of an oven.
“Doesn’t matter,” Casey said as he closed the passenger door and joined her to walk to the front door of Bonnie’s house. “We’re here and we’re going in.”
“Think Bonnie will let me in?”
Casey laughed. “That’s why I insisted we bring this.” He held up the expensive bottle of champagne they’d stopped to purchase.
“I always knew you were smart.” She took a deep breath and opened and closed her fists. According to Casey, the surprise party started at seven. They were now pushing seven thirty. Truth be told, she was a little relieved. At least now most people would be busy mingling rather than silently waiting and looking around. She hoped she’d be less noticed.
“Nervous?”
“Hell, yes.”
Casey squeezed her hand. “It’ll be okay, Mom. This needs to happen.”
They walked up the empty drive to the walkway leading to the front door. Music poured out, and the sounds of shrieks and laughter followed. A black fortieth birthday balloon stretched upward from a walkway light.
“I hope she’s having fun,” Hannah said. They stepped inside and walked sideways to maneuver through people. The house was warm and stuffy and smelled of potpourri and scented candles. Sweat broke out on Hannah’s temple as she worked her way through, trying like hell to get to a better vantage point. At some point, she lost sight of Casey, and her heart sped up as she entered the kitchen. Caterers were busy moving hot trays of food, while others wove madly back into the crowd to serve more wine and beer. She managed to grab a cold bottle of beer before it was plucked and placed on a tray. She opened it and took several swallows before finding her way to the edge of the table in the nook.
The two-story house was jammed full of people, from the looks of it both upstairs and down. She recognized more than a dozen and gave nods and polite waves when they stared at her with their chins dropping. She knew it was only a matter of time before Sasha heard of her presence. She honestly hoped she wouldn’t ruin her fun.
As a new song came on, and the young deejay spoke into the microphone, Hannah leaned against the wall, ready to wait the crowd out. She planned on just seeing Sasha and wishing her a very happy birthday and then slipping out. She wasn’t there to cause a scene. She was there to show she cared. But as her eyes drifted to the second-story landing, her breath caught in her throat. Sasha was standing there in a tight skirt and form-fitting blouse, looking directly at her. Hannah pushed off the wall and called her name just as Sasha’s hand went to her chest as if to catch her heart from escaping. She said something. Said it again. Hannah could’ve sworn it was her name. She moved toward the staircase, desperate to reach her, but she was blocked. And when she caught sight of Bonnie glaring at her from the top landing, she backed up and returned to her spot near the kitchen.
She sipped her beer and waited, debating whether she should leave. She eyed her watch and wondered what Sasha had said to her. Was she upset? Mad that she was there? Or was she calling to her? Should she try again to find out?
No, Sasha knew she was there. If she wanted to speak to her she knew where to find her.
She finished her beer. Eyed her watch. It had been fifteen minutes since Sasha had seen her. Plenty of time for her to come to her. Hannah pushed off from the wall. It was getting obvious that Sasha didn’t want her there. She should go.
She began to weave through people once again when she felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. She managed to fish it out, and when she saw it was Sasha she was more than confused. She looked up the stairs, but Sasha was nowhere to be seen.
She answered, plugging her free ear with her finger, trying desperately to hear.
“Hello? Sasha?”
“Hannah! Hannah—”
Hannah grew alarmed at her tone. “Sasha, what is it? What’s wrong?”
“Hannah—I’m sick, so sick. Come quick.”
“Sash?”
“Need—help.”
Hannah gripped the phone and shoved people aside as she headed for the stairs. When she reached them she yelled for people to move out of her way. She reached the top, but there was no Sasha.
“Damn.”
She put the phone to her ear. Nothing.
But suddenly there was a voice behind her.
“What are you doing here?”
It was Bonnie. Hannah would know her scratchy nails on a chalkboard voice anywhere.
Hannah faced her. “I came to wish Sasha a happy birthday. I came with Casey.”
Bonnie, who was wearing a tight silver shimmering dress, looked like hell. Her makeup was running and her hair looked like it had been windblown. “Do you really think that was a good idea?”
“Look, I didn’t come to cause trouble. Where is she? She called me and she sounded really bad.”
Bonnie looked at the bedroom beyond her and then back at Hannah. She gripped her arm and tugged.
“She called you?”
“Yes, now where is she?”
“She’s sick, Hannah, and I’m worried. I just came out here to find my friend who’s an EMT.”
Hannah hurried after her to the master bedroom. Bonnie shoved open the door and then slammed it closed behind them.
Sasha called out from the bathroom beyond.
Hannah stiffened at the sound of her voice. She was crying.
“Sasha?” She took a step forward, but Bonnie held her back.
“She’s sick,” Bonnie said. “Really sick.”
Hannah felt her world tilt. “Sash?”
“Hannah, oh thank God. Wait, don’t come in here, Hannah. I don’t—I don’t want anyone to see me like this. Just let me clean up a little.”
Bonnie collapsed onto the bed and ran her hands through her hair.
“She came home like this. Got sick to her stomach right after the big surprise.” She looked over at Hannah. “God, what if it was too much? Did I do too much?”
Hannah stared at the closed bathroom door. She couldn’t answer her, couldn’t comfort her. All she cared about was seeing Sasha and making sure she was okay. But something told her it wasn’t. Something told her this was more than the flu.
“Is it her kidneys?” Hannah asked.
Bonnie rubbed her face. “I don’t know. She won’t tell me anything.”
“Well, how does she look?”
“Not good.”
Hannah could wait no longer. She approached the door and knocked. “Sash?”
To her surprise, the door opened and Sasha looked at her with large liquid eyes. She reached out, but her hand trembled.
Hannah took it. “You’re swollen.” She examined the rest of her quickly. Sasha had changed into a bathrobe and tied her hair back, allowing Hannah to see her swollen feet and ankles and the pale color to her skin. She looked like she was going to fall over.
Hannah steered her toward the bed. “We’ve got to get you in somewhere. Last time, remember last time, Sasha?” She’d been in the hospital for two weeks with doctors scrambling to find an answer as to why her kidneys were failing.
“I’m not going,” Sasha said. “It’s not that bad.” A tremor ran through her as she spoke. And then she grabbed her ears and a look of alarm came over her. “I can’t hear you. It’s all muffled. Oh my God, I can’t hear.”
Hannah reached for her again, but Sasha fell to the floor. Bonnie screamed and Hannah dropped to her knees and held her head.
Sasha looked sleepy, completely out of it. Her eyes were rolling closed.
“Call an ambulance,” she said directly to Bonnie. “Now, Bonnie, go.”
Bonnie hurried from the room and returned with a cell phone stuck to her ear. Hannah focused on Sasha while her own heart careened in her ears.
“Please, please. Make her okay, make her okay. Sasha. Sasha, baby, look at me.”
And in that moment, Hannah knew without a shadow of a doubt that she’d do anything for her.
She looked up to the ceiling and gave all of herself to whatever being was beyond, promised she’d do anything to have her, to hold her, to love her forever.
But as she watched Sasha mumble incoherently as the paramedics rushed in, she wondered if all she gave, if all she had, would be enough.