It took Sasha over an hour to get to Heidi’s house in northern Scottsdale. She spent the drive going over and over what she was going to say, and she still had no idea. She knew she didn’t necessarily want things to end, but she didn’t see any other choice. She also was worried about how Heidi felt about the whole thing. She’d been avoiding her, and she wondered if it was because she was somehow upset with her. Like she was blaming her for the rumors. Dennis was her responsibility, and she would understand if she blamed her for his behavior. All she could do was apologize and hope things worked out somehow. Ending it, with the way she was currently feeling, would be detrimental. She knew thoughts of Hannah would come rushing back, and all the progress she’d made would be destroyed.
Deep in her heart, she knew that wasn’t a healthy reason to keep seeing Heidi. She knew she was wrong. But she was desperate. Damn near panic. She pulled along the side of the house and noted a Mercedes in the driveway. Did Heidi have company? She sat and debated what to do. She’d driven all this way; she might as well get out and at least try to have a quick conversation with her. She exited her Jeep and walked up to the front door. It was dusk and the front lights kicked on as she stepped up to ring the bell. Noises came from inside. Voices. She smoothed down her blouse and skirt.
She heard laughter just as the door opened. Heidi’s eyes widened.
“Sasha.”
“Hi.”
“Hi.”
There was more laughter, and tanned arms wrapped around Heidi’s robe from behind. A face appeared over her shoulder.
“Is it the Chinese food?”
Sasha took a step back. The woman smiled and held firm to Heidi. Heidi patted her hands and whispered to her. Then she stepped outside and closed the door behind her.
“What are you doing here?” she asked softly. She crossed her arms and searched her eyes.
Sasha took another step back, completely shocked. It was as if she’d been struck. Smacked hard in the face.
“Who is that?” She tried to sound strong, but her voice shook.
Heidi didn’t bother to look back. “A friend.”
“I see that.”
“Look, Sasha—”
“Is she why you’ve been avoiding me?”
Heidi shifted her weight and looked to the ground.
“And here I thought you’d been devastated by what happened at work. Upset that Gavin wanted us to end things. Silly me.”
“I was upset over that. It was really shitty. But honestly, Sasha, the way you’ve been acting since we ran into your ex, well, it’s been noticeable. I just don’t think you’re ready to date.”
“What? This is news to me.”
“I told you I’m not into serious relationships. I like to have fun. And since you saw Hannah, we haven’t had any fun.”
Sasha stared at her in disbelief. Had she missed something? She thought they’d been exclusive.
“So—you’ve what? Been seeing other people the whole time?”
“That’s not the point, Sasha”
Sasha scoffed. “You know damn well it is.”
Sasha wiped an angry tear. Her throat burned with raw emotion.
“Sasha, I care about you. We had a lot of fun for a time. But with Gavin and HR, it just felt like it was time to end things.”
“You could’ve filled me in.”
“I didn’t think it was wise to approach you at work. I felt like we were under a microscope.”
“You could’ve called.” She shook her head.
“Don’t cry. Please don’t cry.” Heidi took a step toward her, but Sasha backed up.
“Fuck you, Heidi. Just—fuck you.”
“Sasha,” she called after her. But Sasha hurried to her Jeep and climbed inside. She started the engine, peeled out, and sped down the street. When she reached the end, she pulled over and bawled her eyes out. Not because she was heartbroken. Not because she felt betrayed. But because she now had to face the ultimate truth. And that absolutely terrified her.