The doorbell rang as Hannah was finishing cleaning up after breakfast. She grabbed a dish towel and wiped her hands as she headed for the door. It was nearing ten, and she wondered who it could be. Casey was already at class at the community college, and Bonnie was probably at work. Hannah pulled open the door and squinted into the bright morning light. Charlie stood looking at her with a broad smile.
“Morning.”
Hannah tried to focus through her shock and dismay. “What are you doing here?”
Charlie looked taken aback. “I’m here to tend to Sasha. Remember? I’m her nurse?”
“Yes, I can remember as far back as yesterday, thanks. I’m just wondering why you are here so early.”
“I’m concerned about her fever. It was rather high yesterday. Can I come in?”
Hannah stepped back and pushed open the door. Charlie bypassed her without another word. Hannah closed the door behind her and followed her into the kitchen.
“She ate some breakfast,” Hannah said. “I made her a homemade breakfast, and she really enjoyed it.”
Charlie began to dig through her bag. Hannah watched her muscled arms move and strain against her dark purple scrubs.
“That’s good, good that she’s got her appetite.”
“Yes. Well, she does.”
Charlie retrieved her stethoscope and some surgical gloves. “Where is she?”
“She’s in her room. I’ll go get her.”
“That’s okay. I can do it. I need to examine her, and I’m sure she’ll want some privacy.”
But Hannah wasn’t about to stop. She hurried down the hallway and stopped at Sasha’s door. She cocked her head when she heard water running from the bathroom. Charlie showed up at her heels.
“She’s in the bathroom,” Hannah said, crossing to knock on the door. “Sash? I hope she’s not trying to bathe alone. She’s still weak, and with that PICC line she’s really only got one arm.” She knocked again. “Sash? Can you let me in?”
The water stopped running. Sasha called out.
“I can’t. I’m in the tub.”
“I think maybe I should go in and help her,” Charlie said.
“No.” Hannah blocked her access. “That’s not necessary. I can do it.”
“I need to make sure she doesn’t get that arm wet. I’m her nurse. It’s what I’m here for. “
Hannah laughed. “Right, and I bet you’re just loving that aren’t you?” Hannah opened the door a crack and Sasha quickly covered her chest.
“Hannah, what are you doing?”
Hannah stepped in. “I’m trying to help you. There’s no way you can get out of there on your own.”
Charlie stepped in after her. “Do you need help, Ms. Bashton?”
Sasha stared at both of them with her mouth open. “I’m fine. I can do it myself.”
“Okay then. Just call me when you’re ready to get out,” Charlie said.
Sasha nodded and gave Hannah a dirty look.
“Thank you, Charlie. I’ll do that.”
Hannah shook her head and tried to argue, but Sasha stopped her.
“In fact, Charlie, why don’t you stay? Hannah, we’ll be fine.”
Hannah backed away in disbelief. She gripped the doorknob as the feeling of nausea she’d felt the night before overcame her. She stumbled from the bathroom and hurried down the hall and exited through the garage. She climbed in her truck and collapsed against the steering wheel. She pounded it with her fists and cried. She cried for the first time in a very, very long time.
Sasha was gone.
* * *
“Mom. Mom, oh my God.” Hannah heard Casey’s voice, but it sounded far away.
“Wha?”
“Mom, come on. Jesus, you’re burning up out here.” She felt him slide his arm around her and help her from the truck. She gained her bearings and leaned into him. They were in the garage, and it was stifling hot with the door closed.
He tugged on her and helped her inside. “What were you doing out there? Do you know how lucky you are that I found you?”
“No, I’m fine. It’s fine.” But she was weak and tired and so thirsty. She fell onto the couch and heard Casey rush to the fridge where he banged around. Then he was at her side in ninja-like speed, placing cold packs on her.
“Keep this on the back of your neck and put these under your arms.”
She did so but winced against the icy cold feel of them. He handed over a cold bottle of water. “Sip it,” he said.
“Okay, all right.”
He stood before her and watched with his hands on his hips.
“What the fuck were you doing out there? You weren’t like trying to kill yourself were you?”
She glared at him. “Of course not.”
“Then what the hell, Mom?”
“I went out there to…to get away. But I ended up falling asleep I guess.”
“Yeah, Sash filled me in on the bathtub brawl. She figured you got mad and left. So I went in the garage to look for your car. Thank God I did. We had a record high today, Mom. Over a hundred degrees. With these temperatures—”
“I’m fine.”
But really she was very tired and weak.
“You went out there and had a fit didn’t you? Maybe cried real hard like you do sometimes?”
She didn’t answer. She was embarrassed enough at the moment.
He ran his hands through his hair. “What is going on, Mom? Are you drinking again?”
She shook her head. “No. And as for what’s going on…I don’t know. The nurse. That asshole nurse.”
“She’s here to treat Sasha whether you like it or not.”
“I know. I have to accept it. That’s why I went out there and cried. I couldn’t help it because now I know what I need to do for Sasha and for myself.”
“What’s that?”
“I have to let her go.”
Casey sank down on the couch next to her. He squeezed her hand.
“I think you may be right.”
“Yeah.” She stared off into space. “That’s what I’m afraid of.”