Bobby
December 20, 2013
Norfolk
“For the last time,” I sigh, leaning back in the very uncomfortable aluminum chair, perching it up on its back two legs, “I didn’t know a damn thing about their plans. I didn’t know a damn thing about the ambush, and, no, I don’t have any connection, or desire to connect, with Ansar al Din.” I had been intimidated for the first couple of minutes, being in the NCIS interrogation room with its piss yellow walls and two way mirror, no doubt hiding the Director and maybe a few other government high-ups, but now I’m just pissed.
They’ve asked the same damn questions over and over, and I’m just ready to get the fuck out of here and take a damn shower. Is that too much to ask for? A shower after being held here for almost twelve hours, that’s all I want.
The agent, Agent Howard, smiles at me and leans back, his suit jacket buckling at the gut before he unbuttons it. He shuffles the papers in front of him for the millionth time and I give up, huffing out a frustrated breath and slamming the front two legs of my chair down as I lean forward. Placing my elbows on the table, bringing my hands together in front of me and tapping my fingers together, I don’t stop staring at him until he looks at me.
“We know you’re not connected, Mr. Timmons, but you know… Procedure.” He laughs and I copy it, mockingly, crossing my arms over my chest and stretching my legs out so that my prosthetic hits him in the shin. He shifts, looking under the table, and I know I’ve made him uncomfortable. He must have never served; he’s probably just a law enforcement guy. “I just have to wait for word that it’s okay to let you go.”
I hear three rapid knocks on the two way glass and I smile at him, throwing my hands behind my head and stretching back. “Guess that’s your ‘word’.” I laugh a little and he shakes his head. He gets up, slower than needed, taking his time to button his jacket before opening the door to the hallway.
“You’re free to go, Mr. Timmons.” He gives me a sarcastic smile as I stand, push my chair in, and slide past him. Stopping in the doorway, I look both ways, spotting Jack just down to my right exiting another room and he flips me off with a smile, waving me to come to him. Turning to Agent Howard, I pat him on the chest, fixing the badge on his pocket that has been upside down this entire time.
“You should prolly get a better trainer, bud.” I wink at him as his expression turns from pompous to pissed off. I start to jog off, then back pedal, seeing him looking down at himself. “Or a better tailor, either one!” I shout and laugh, catching up with Jack three quarters of the way down the hallway.
“Shouldn’t piss off the feds, Bobby,” he chides me as we enter the bustling foyer of the NCIS world. Phones are ringing, people are talking, and I don’t know how Chad does it. Give me the silent and deadly jungle to this any day, that’s for damn sure. Jack elbows me, pulling my attention back to him and I weave through the bodies following him to the elevator. “What did Payne say to us? Where are we meeting him?”
“He said at the diner down the street because his floor is top secret.” Jack nods as the doors slides shut, taking us down to the parking garage. Hitting the chilly air as we step out, I pull on the hat and jacket I’ve kept with me, zipping it all the way up as my breath steams around me. I see Jack pull his on as well, arching his back and shivering and I laugh at him. “Not used to the cold yet?” I ask him as we hurry down the sidewalk.
“No, asshole. I haven’t been back in the states in almost three years.” He pulls the collar of his jacket up as he practically jogs to meet up with me. “I’ve been in the jungles and deserts, hell, you know.” I just nod, imaging some of the places he’s been as both a Marine and a gun for hire. Then I stop, right there in the middle of the sidewalk not ten feet from the front door of the little dinner, just watching Jack as he grabs the handle.
He hasn’t seen his sister in what, four or five years? No other family, no wife, no kids. What kind of lonely this guy must be. And I thought I had it bad?
“You comin’, asshole?” His snide remark breaks my daydreaming and I look from the cement up into his grey eyes and give him a wicked smile. The look he gives me tells me he knows there is something churning inside this head of mine, but he waits until we sit in our booth to open his mouth. “What the hell is that stupid look on your face for?”
“You are gonna love Wakefield,” I say, leaning forward on my elbows as he eyes the menu. “I don’t know if you remember much from when you were little, but it’s great. I know all the guys will like your smartass attitude, especially Garth Cobb.”
He gives me a sidelong look, over the top of the laminated menu, then smiles, setting it down. “All I know, brother,” he pauses, winking and waving to the waitress so that she comes over. He leans closer to me, locking me down with his stare. “All I know is that you better make right with my sister, whether you two are together or not, because if you don’t…” In the blink of an eye Jack grabs his fork and slams it down on the table, right between my fingers, and leaves it there as the busty blonde waitress comes up to our table, popping her gum.
Alright, alright, point taken. Set my shit right, got it. Picking my hand up off the table, slowly, I pull the fork from the cheap wood and order a coffee and eggs, with bacon and toast. The girl lingers longer on Jack, flirting shamelessly with him and as she struts away he watches her ass sway back and forth, looking back to me and giving me one of those, “Ehh, it’s okay,” looks.
“Besides, whoever said I’m gonna stay in Wakefield?” He raises his eyebrow at me as he takes a sip of the piping hot and smelling burnt coffee, and I just shrug.
“It’s a place that jus’ feels good comin’ home to,” I answer and see him nod his head slightly from the corner of my eye.
It’s the truth. There is something about the little town that is calming, for the most part. When there isn’t drama going down, which you’ll get anywhere you live, Wakefield is a nice little place to call home. I’m silently praying and hoping that it’ll be my home, with Ellie beside me, in the not too far off future. Chad has been working with me to buy that old house down the street from him. The same one where we cornered that asshole Walden staking out Ellie’s running route in. Old man Pullman had passed away a couple of months ago and the house has sat empty since, his two kids not knowing what to do with it. So, when we had touched down on United States soil, I had Chad call and put in an offer under my name and now I’m just waiting.
“Hey chumps,” Reno’s voice breaks the silence that has fallen between me and Jack, and he slides in opposite me as Chad slips in beside me. “Been waitin’ long?”
“No, Man.” Jack smiles, shaking both of their hands with his death grip we’ve become accustom to. “We didn’t know what you pusses would want to eat so we didn’t order you anythin’.”
“That’s good, ‘cuz I don’t want to have a heart attack.” Chad smiles, waving to the waitress and she jots something down on her pad. “Charlene knows what we get. We are somewhat creatures of habit when it comes to our lunch time away from the office.”
“Where did Chief go? When did this ol’ man take his place?” I try to dodge the elbow coming my way, but it lands in my ribs just before his arm circles my head, pulling me out of the booth and into a headlock. I’ve missed the camaraderie with these guys too much and I tap out on Chad’s shoulder.
He’s laughing when he says, “Yeah and this ol’ man can still kick your ass,” before he pushes me back to the bench. I throw my hands up in surrender, laughing along with the other two as we take our seat once more and fall into normal, everyday conversation. Our food comes and we’re lost in conversation when outside on the sidewalk I see a girl that could be Ellie. The fork stops midway to my mouth and I just watch her as she gets closer, hoping that she’ll reach for the door to the diner, but she doesn’t.
I’ve got to see her, but will she want to see me? I know it won’t be easy and it won’t be without a little more hurt for both of us, but I know what I want. And what I want is Ellie Mae.
Dropping my fork, losing my appetite, I lean back in the bench and wait for Chad to finish the joke he’s telling, laughing at the dirty punch line along with the others as our coffee cups are refilled. “Hey Chief, have you talked to Ellie?”
His blue stare lands on me as his laughing wanes and I can’t help but feel small. The Chief has this way of making me feel like a dumbass teen again when he’s scrutinizing me. He gives me a crooked smile and nods his head, making me feel on edge.
“Not directly to her, but Rhea told me that she’s happy you’re both safe and comin’ home,” he says, pushing his food around. Jack is nodding, looking satisfied with that. But I’m not.
“And? Is that all?”
“Yeah,” he says with a little anger evident. “I’m not your messenger, boy. You have a cell phone, you call her.” Reno and Jack nod along with him, but I don’t say anything, I just let it die in the silence that hangs between us until Reno starts talking about what he wants to do with his vacation time coming up.
The things I want to say are better said in person than over the phone. I don’t want to look at the LED screen, I want to look at her beautiful face. Sitting here, sipping my lukewarm coffee, I’m jolted from my concentration out the window when Jack slaps me on the cheek and I notice that they are all standing, finished with their food, and waiting for me to get out of the booth.
It’s starting to snow a little, the unusual cold sitting over the south this year making me tuck my jacket up around my neck as do my friends. I don’t need to know where we are going as we pile into Chad’s agency issued Dodge Charger; I know the scenery too well. We are headed for the hospital to see French.
They are all talking and joking, but I’m just trying to keep the anxiety of the past from rising in my throat. It’s been forever since I’ve been in downtown Norfolk. The last time I had seen the hospital was when Chad and Reno had picked me up and taken me to my apartment to pack my things. I was walking with a cane then, the pain, hurt, and depression still fresh in my mind. The sight of the tall, looming building with the ambulances parked off to the side makes the hurt try to resurface, but I tamp it down as Chad pulls into a space and throws it into park.
“That whiny French better be in a good mood today.” Reno laughs, the other two joining him as they all climb out, but I’m still sitting there; my left leg shaking wildly with all the of the nerves running around within me right now. I feel Chad’s eyes on me and I reach for the handle as Reno says, “You can stay here, Man, if you don’t wanna come in. French will understand.”
“No, Brother.” I smile at him and climb out, trying the shake the tension from my shoulder and Chad slaps me on the back, giving me that crooked smile that tells me he knows what I’m going through. Hospitals aren’t his favorite place either, especially since almost losing Rhea and Charlie, and I return the hearty slap as he laughs. “Let’s go rag on the ol’ man.”
Through the bustling foyer and main desk, we all laugh at the story of French getting shot in the ass when we were in Columbia. Even though I was there at the time, it’s even funnier hearing Chad and Reno re-tell it and Jack’s infectious laughter echo through the hallway as we make it to room 359.
“Ah-fuck! That hurts! Could ya not be so rough…damn!” we hear shouted from behind the curtain as we enter the room and I can’t help but laugh out loud. French’s shadow is behind the curtain, sitting in a wheelchair and his hand whips the curtain open, his face red and a sweat breaking out on his brow. “What the hell are you assholes doin’ here?” he grunts, in obvious discomfort.
“We came to see your grumpy ass, LT.” I smile at him, trying to piss him off and as he rolls his eyes I know I’ve succeeded. “What? Is the nurse bein’ too rough on tough ol’ Austin French?”
“Oh don’t let the groanin’ and moanin’ fool you, boys,” the nurse says, coming around the corner and I recognize her plump figure. “Well Mr. Timmons! Never thought I’d see you again. Looks like you’re doin’ well.” The woman who got me out of bed and changed the bandage on my leg every morning, then wheeled me to therapy, stands before me and some of the hurt and despair tries to rear its head.
“Yeah, well this complainin’ piece of work is my friend.” I dodge a punch as French wheels himself over toward his bed, his leg bandaged and elevated. “And yes, I’m doin’ well.” The middle aged woman smiles sweetly, patting me on the shoulder as she walks past, trying to help French back into his bed until he yells at her and she lets him fall onto the mattress, throwing her hands up.
“Well! Please, by all means, if he asks you to sneak him out in a suitcase, take him!” She laughs as French swears under his breath, turning to us from the doorway. “If he needs anythin’ I’ll be at the desk.” We all nod. It feels weird being recognized by a woman who probably treats thousands of people in a month, and it’s been almost a year since I’ve been here.
“Must be you left an impression, lover boy,” Jack jokes, pulling the knit hat from my head and messing my hair before plopping down into the chair I was headed for. God, he’s like the big brother I never wanted.
“Stop givin’ him the evil eye, Timmons,” French grumbles as he shifts in his bed, pointing to the end. “Sit your ass down there.”
“As long as you’re not gonna yell and bitch at me if I happen to bump your leg.” I give him a wicked smiles as he flips me off and I hover my arm over his outstretched leg, acting like I’m going to hit him and he flinches only a little.
He leans forward and grabs the front of my shirt, pulling me in and grinding out, “If you so much as breathe on my leg, I’ll rip off your prosthetic and beat you ta death with it.” He holds onto the serious note for only a second before breaking out into laughter and slapping me lightly on the cheek before he leans back. That’s the LT for you, always trying to be a hard-ass, but he’s really just a joker under it all.
We sit there, through the nurse bringing French his meal, joking and laughing about everything under the sun. French asks Jack what his plans are, and he gives the LT the same answer; he’ll stick around long enough to catch up with his family, but after that he makes no promises. Then he retorts with, “Unless I find me a nice piece of ass to keep my attention,” making us all laugh and French chokes mildly on his soup, getting a hard slap on the back from Chief as I go to the window.
This cityscape is familiar. I remember the numerous days I spent sitting in my wheelchair looking down to the street and the people milling around, wishing that I could have been one of them and not me. The hurt starts to squeeze in my chest, remembering the pain I endured in one of these rooms and the times I spent damning all of the two-legged people running and walking on the streets below. The nightmares flash before my eyes; the feel of the heat from the grenade and the shock of waking up in the Army hospital, and I sink my head into my hand, rubbing the spot between my eyes to try and stop the headache I know will come.
“Hey, Man,” Chad’s low voice pulls me from the dark and his hand on my shoulder makes me face him as he sidles up next to me, looking to the streets below. “You alright?”
“Yeah, for now.” I give him a weak smile and I know by the look in his eyes that Chad knows where my mind was just now. He pats my back, gripping the back of my neck and shaking me a little like he always does when he knows I’m a little down.
“Ready to go home?” He smiles, turning his back to the window and leaning against the ledge, crossing his arms over his chest. I do the same and see Reno and Jack both nod, French raising his hand as he drinks the last of his coffee.
“Who said you’re goin’ with us, ol’ man?” Reno laughs and Austin tosses his napkin at him, causing us all to laugh a little.
Chad looks back to me, waiting for my answer. Am I ready to go back to Wakefield? What if Ellie doesn’t want to forgive me or give us another chance? I sigh deeply, rubbing my hands over my face and back through my hair. Well, I guess it’s now or never, right?
“Hell yes,” I say to the Chief, and seeing his wide smile raises my spirits. The nerves within me kick into overdrive at the thought of finally seeing Ellie. So many what ifs are in the equation, but all I can do is be me and hope that it’s enough to make up for the lost time and heartache.
~~~~
Ellie
I don’t know how my cousin is keeping it together right now. I can’t help but constantly sneak peeks at her from the corner of my eye as I play with Charlie on the floor. She’s been standing at the glass patio door, staring out into the dark backyard for countless minutes now, just holding her coffee cup to her lips without taking a sip. I’m worried about what’s she’s thinking and how she’ll deal when Chad walks through that front door at any time now.
When we got back from our ‘girls vacation’ at the cabin, there was this manila envelope waiting on the floor by the front door, obviously having been pushed through her mail slot, and the contents made her cry for hours on end. They were pictures of Chad with his arm around some red headed woman, eating lunch with the same woman, and walking down the streets in Norfolk with this woman. On the back of one of the photos, taken at night, scrawled in thick black marker were the words, “Did you think your husband was always working late?”
I don’t believe that Chad would cheat on Rhea, he’s just not that kind of man. Plus, I see how much he loves her; when you’re around them you can’t help but feel it. I don’t want to believe it and I think Rhea doesn’t either, but she doesn’t know who the woman in the pictures is and at some of the angles they do look kind of intimate.
“Did I tell you Bobby and Jack are comin’ with him?” she asks in a mono-tone voice, never taking her eyes from the backyard and the faint light coming from the barn. We’d finished the night chores early with the help of Harlan and Jude and they had left for dinner with Kendall.
“Yeah, Ray-Ray,” I answer as she finally turns on a heavy sigh, her face displaying the stress in bags under her eyes. “I don’t know…” I start to say, then stop, knowing what is weighing on her mind doesn’t need my insecurities added to it and she gives me a sad smile, nodding her head in understanding.
I’m more than happy that my brother is coming, that he’s safe. I’m overjoyed to be able to see him again. I’ve missed him so very much. There is no telling what Bobby might have told him about my past when they were working together so I hope Jack doesn’t give me the big brother lecture he was famous for when we were younger. I don’t think my emotions could handle that right now.
As for Bobby, well, I am happy that he is safe. Deep down when he walks in the door I want to run and jump into his arms, kissing him for all I’m worth and telling him all of my ‘I’m sorrys’ in one breath. Then again, the hurt from his leaving still lingers around my heart, even though I know I kind of caused it myself. Still, going five months without a telephone call, email, or text left me hanging in more ways than one and almost broke me a second time. I think I’m starting to get stronger, a little day by day, but there is no guessing how I will react once I see those hazel eyes bearing down on me once more.
“Rhea?” I stand, picking Charlie up with me and balancing him on my hip with one of his favorite cars in my other hand. She nods her head as she refills her cup, leaning back against the counter and casting those blue-grey eyes in my direction. “Do you want me to leave when Chad gets home? You know, so you two can talk?”
“Yeah, that’ll prolly be best,” she says and I see the hurt run through her eyes again. I set Charlie in his highchair and rush to her, pulling her into a tight enough hug that my fingers turn white as they grip her shoulders. She hugs me back, but she doesn’t cry. I think she is all cried out for now and she sighs heavily into my hair, kissing my cheek. “Thank you, Ellie.”
“Anytime, Ray-Ray.” I give her a smile I’m hoping will make her feel a little better, but her returned one is strained. I don’t want her to hurt like this, ever, but I don’t know what to tell my cousin to make it better for her. I just wish time would hurry up, Chad would walk through the door and prove to her, somehow, that the innuendos behind those pictures are lies.
But that only means that I’ll come face to face with Bobby that much sooner. Am I ready for that? Seeing the headlights pull into the drive and hearing Chad and Reno’s voices out in the garage, I know I have no choice and my heart jumps to a frantic pace. I feel like my insides are vibrating when I hear his laugh echo and the tears prick my lashes. Rhea grips my hand and I look to her, wanting her strength that I know she’s fighting with.
“Be true to yourself, Ellie Mae. Follow your heart,” she whispers before kissing my cheek, letting our cheeks linger together for a moment after as the side door opens to the guys’ laughter. I can pick my brother out even before I see him, the infectious nature of his chuckle filling the house. I take a deep breath before releasing my cousin and turning around, facing my future head on while holding my head high.
“Ellie!” Jack shouts and I don’t hide the wide smile as my brother is throwing his arms open, inviting me to jump into them just like he has since we were little and I don’t hesitate. Walking quickly to him, I take in his built stature. He’s more muscular than I remember, but that goes hand in hand with the work I can only imagine he’s done. “God, girl, you’re skinny! Haven’t you been eatin’?”
I punch him in the arm before throwing my arms around his neck as he lifts me off the floor, spinning me around, making me giggle. “I’ve missed you, Jacky.” I joke with the nickname he’s always hated and kiss him on the cheek as he sets me down. He shakes his head at me, moving away and greeting Rhea and little Charlie and I’m suddenly aware of the other person, standing behind me in the living room. I can feel his eyes on the back of my head and my heart feels like it is being rung out by someone with claws for hands.
“Hello, Ellie Mae,” he whispers, the smooth voice making me want to melt. But I take a deep breath and hold it all in as I turn, looking up into those hazel eyes. He’s in a jacket and jeans, but he still looks like the same fit Bobby as he was before, his stare roaming over me as I say nothing, just nod at him. He shoves his hands inside of his pockets, shifting from his left foot to his right and I wonder what he’s feeling inside, if anything.
“Hello, Bobby,” I say, but not without a little scratch evident and I try and clear it away as fast as I can with a cough, fighting the tears still trying to break loose. I will not cry tonight, at least not in front of him.
“Uh…it’s good to see you again,” he stammers out, finally dropping his gaze to his boots, alleviating the pressure and blush that has taken me over.
It’s good to see me again? That’s all he can think of to say? I giggle out an incredulous laugh, causing him to snap his eyes back to mine as I’m shaking my head in disbelief. I will not let him see me cry, I keep telling myself as I turn and hear Jack issuing his see you laters to Rhea and Chad. That’s my cue to get out of here.
“Jack, you got a place to stay the night or do you wanna stay at my place? It’s not much, but I have a pull out couch and I can fix it up for ya.” I nod for him to follow me as I head for the door and he’s right behind me, followed by Bobby. God, I need the cool fresh air. I wave to Rhea before facing the dark and the borderline freezing air burns in my lungs.
“Yeah I’m stayin’ with Timmons right down the street.” I stop at the bottom of the steps and give him a questioning look. He points down the street to the SOLD sign displayed on the old Pullman house. I did notice that a couple of days ago, but Rhea had no idea when I asked her about it. Great.
“Alright, well I gotta get home,” is all I say and my brother’s grey eyes seem to invade my thoughts, even now in the dark with the only light coming from the porch bulb. He grasps my shoulder, gently squeezing and I know he knows I’m hurting, but thankfully he just nods, giving me the famous Jack smirk and kissing me on the forehead.
“I’ll see ya tomorrow, lil’ sis. Come by and get me and we’ll do breakfast?” He smiles again, poking me in the ribs lightly over and over again, knowing it’ll make me giggle and it does as I try to block his prodding. I nod and he stops, looking between Bobby and me and taking a deep breath, rubbing his hand over the back of his head. “Alright, well…I’ll leave you two, well…I’ll see ya tomorrow, Sis.” He winks at me and grabs a duffel bag from the sidewalk, but I don’t miss the look on Bobby’s face as Jack passes him. He must be issuing one of those big brother warnings because Bobby nods slightly before Jack picks up his pace to a jog, disappearing down the street into the dark.
I’m on the edge of breaking down, right here and right now, but I can’t do that. I’m not strong enough to talk to him right now, so I turn and head for the driver’s door of my Berretta. Yanking it open, I freeze when the whiskey-like voice says, “Ellie, wait!”
I stop, I can’t help it; his voice has this pull on me like some kind of magnet. His long shadow falls over the stones to my side, but I don’t turn around. The tightness in my chest is almost unbearable and my breathing is uncontrollable. I know he can hear me gasping for breath and I see the outline of his hand come up, reaching out to me; but then it falls back to his side.
“I can’t talk to you right now, Bobby. I thought I could, but it’s… it’s just too hard,” I gasp out, the tears finally breaking through and running down my cheeks, hot and fast. I’m shaking as I grip the door handle and I hate myself for being such a sniveling weakling right now. Just turn around and talk to him! Yell, scream, it doesn’t fucking matter, just don’t run!
“Okay,” I hear whispered from behind me, sounding so defeated and small and I can’t take it. I throw myself into my car and bring it to life as fast as I can. The tears are flowing like rain as I pull out from the street and step on it, not caring about my speed right now. I can’t fucking breathe.
I grasp my fleece, twisting it in my hand as if it will stop the hurt on my heart. It hurts too much being in his presence. It brings back too many demons that I thought I had dealt with, but I guess I was wrong. God, why can’t I get past this?
It doesn’t take me long to get to my trailer and I’m still sobbing uncontrollably as I fling open the door, slamming it shut and throwing myself down onto my ratty couch. I curl myself around the little throw pillow, the pain and longing from the day he left me in the hospital coming back in full on storm fueled waves.
I’m praying for sleep to take me away from this, if only until the morning. I take a few calming breaths, reaching for the box of tissues on the coffee table and pulling the blanket from the back down onto my shivering body.
This is what I wanted, isn’t it? I wanted him back so that I could talk to him. So why can’t I do that? Why can’t I be strong enough for once to face my fears?
~~~~
Rhea
I can’t even look at my husband, the thoughts of him being with that red headed woman in those pictures fueling my anger and my breathing picks up. I focus in on my son and his happy little chatter as I hold him close, my tears finally slipping out and soaking into his fleece pajamas.
“Baby?” Chad’s smooth voice comes in a concerned whisper, but I don’t turn right away. I don’t want these thoughts to be true. But those pictures, they look so suggestive.
Holding Charlie’s head tight to my shoulder, I spin on Chad and see that he’s only a few feet behind me. I can tell when he sees my tears he’s confused, the crease in his brow being deep as his blue eyes roam over me. My heart is beating so fast that I think it might beat right out of my chest. My hand is shaking when I point at him.
“How could you?” I grind out, the tears continuing to fall as I step up to him and poke him in the chest. He recoils a little at first, his stare never leaving my face. “How could you do that to us?” I hug Charlie tighter and move to the opposite side of the table, not being able to be near him anymore as scenes of him fucking another woman run through my head.
“Do what? What are you talkin’ about, Baby?” He chuckles a little at me, making me even angrier as I reach for my cell phone. “Do you mean leave without tellin’ you? You know I had to; we’ve been over this. I couldn’t…”
“I don’t mean you fuckin’ leaving!” I scream, scaring Charlie and he cries out in my arms, gripping me tighter and I regret my reaction. I quickly text Rosa to come over and take Charlie for me and slam my phone back onto the table, turning my back on my husband once more. I’m shaking and I wipe at the tears filling my face, sniffling loudly.
“I don’t know what you’re talkin’ about,” he says calmly, but I know he’s probably boiling on the inside. He’s never liked seeing me upset, even when we were little. I’m trying to calm Charlie down and hear the front door open. I pull his jacket from the chair and shove it over his arms as Rosa comes to my side, her brown eyes roaming over my face but she asks no questions. We have the silent communication and she knows we’ll talk about it later. “Wait. Why is she takin’ Charlie?” Chad asks angrily as I hand our son over, kissing his forehead once more.
“Because I don’t want him around this,” I wave between us, trying to say it as calmly as I can with the fresh tears springing to life. I move back to the patio door, watching the reflection of Chad kissing Charlie and Rosa nods to me before turning and leaving, singing to Charlie in Spanish to try and quiet him down as she shuts the door. I laugh to myself, knowing he’ll start to giggle as he loves her singing.
“Tell me what the hell is goin’ on here, Baby!” Chad says and the stern tone makes my skin tingle. I don’t look at him, but I turn to the table and put my hand on that damn manila envelope, wanting the contents to spontaneously start on fire. It makes me want to throw up, the possibility of them being true, and before I know it a fresh wave of anger rolls over me and I slide the envelope over the table, toward Chad. It goes flying; along with all the other papers, salt and pepper shaker and an empty glass as I let out a frustrated scream.
“That’s what’s goin’ on!” I cry after the shattering of the glass stops ringing in my throbbing head. Chad has a slack jaw look, his eyes going from me to the envelope now on the hardwood floor before he crouches down to pick them up. As he opens it and reaches in, I let my anger control me and I slap my hands on the table, letting out another frustrated, strangled scream; turning toward the patio door and seeing my horrid reflection. My face is puffy from the crying and my hair is a mess from running my hands through it, but I don’t care. I want answers and I want the truth.
I start to nibble on my thumb nail when Chad pulls the pictures out, an incredulous scoff filling the tension filled silence between us. “Where did these come from?” he asks, his gaze lifting to me but I still don’t turn around. I shake my head, not being able to talk without crying and my legs are shaking, wanting to get out of here. His expression turns to anger when I don’t say anything and he just about growls, “You don’t believe this shit, do ya?”
“Who is she?” I sob, finally turning on him and ripping one of the pictures from his hands, shoving it in his face. “Who is she?!” I scream again, shaking his grip from my wrist when he grabs me. “All those times when ya said you were workin’ late, you were with her? How could you? How could you do that me?...to Charlie?” On the mention of our little boy I break down again, the hurt and tightness in my chest becoming overwhelming and I step back from him, wanting to escape.
“I never cheated on you,” he grinds out, throwing the pictures down and slowly coming toward me. I throw my hands up and he stops. “I would never…will never cheat on you, Rhea.” I can’t stop my head from shaking as I pull my sweatshirt on, needing to be away from him for a little while. I grab onto the door handle when his hand covers mine. “No, don’t leave. We need to talk about this…”
I yank my hand from his grip and slam my hands into his chest, pushing him back what little distance my meek strength can manage. “Leave me alone.” I slap him repeatedly until he backs up and I turn, swinging the door open and running into the dark. I just need to be free of the tight feeling of my home, just for a little while so I can cry this anger out. I head for the barn, the outside light screaming to me as sanctuary and I know the horses and pigs won’t mind my sobbing.
Chad is yelling my name, but for once in my life, I don’t turn. I know I may be making a mistake, but I just need some time to collect my thoughts.
~~~~
Chad
“Rheaaa!” I yell one more time, but I see the barn door swing open then closed and I slump back against the side of my house. “Fuck!” I shout to myself, driving my fist into one of the plastic trash cans just sitting there and hearing it crack while flying away onto the grass.
How could she believe this shit? I ask myself, thinking about those pictures. I’d never cheat on her; she’s my life and she always has been. I don’t need to ask anyone who snapped those pictures, it was the bastards at Savage Security, they had probably been following me after finding out NCIS were investigating them. And the woman in the pictures? My fellow agent Genevieve, whom I am friends with, but she’s definitely not into men; she has a girlfriend.
My breathing is hard, steaming in the chilly air as I look back out to the barn, my chest burning. I know my job calls me away, but she knew it would.
I can’t stand it anymore and I take off at a sprint toward the barn, jumping over the gate and running through the pasture. The exertion doesn’t do anything to lessen the pain in my heart and as I reach the door, I don’t hesitate in throwing it open.
The scene before me doesn’t ease my mind; Rhea is kneeling on the hay covered ground, hunched over and sobbing as I come up behind her. She waves her hands at me, trying to get me to go away, but I’m not leaving her right now. I grab her shoulders, pulling her to her feet and making her face me. Her beautiful blue-gray eyes are red, her cheeks puffy and I hate seeing her like this. She’s trying to push me away, but I pull her into me, squeezing her tight even when she struggles.
“Stop it,” I tell her, my cheek resting on the crown of her head as she sobs. “Baby, you know I’d never cheat on you. You can’t believe that shit.” I hold her tighter, her struggling waning a bit as she cries into my jacket. “Rhea…Baby. You know I love you with everythin’ I am, don’t you?” I whisper the question, letting her free and moving my arms down around her waist. She’s wiping at her face as I grip her chin, forcing her to look at me.
“You promise?” she chokes out, her sobbing causing her speech to hiccup out as she sniffles. “They just look so…so insinuating.” She says it with apparent disgust and I grip her chin a little more, pulling her closer and up on her tip toes, my other arm around her waist holding her to me.
I can’t help but laugh a little at her expression and I immediately regret it as she starts to pull away, but I hold her tight, smiling down at her tear streaked face. “Do you really think that I’d ever be able to leave this?” I roll my eyes down her torso and she snorts out a laugh before I shake her chin a little, grabbing her attention and trying to be serious. “I love you, Rhea. With everything I have, don’t have, and everything I am and will be. Without you, I couldn’t be me; there’s just no way.”
She looks up at me out of the corner of her eye and I know she believes me. I give her a smile and lean down, nice and slow, whispering, “The smile that rolls off these lips is what gets me through the day.” I lightly cover her lips with mine, kissing her sweetly. I feel the hesitation, but within a second she is kissing me back; her hands gripping into my jacket, pulling me closer.
Her grip pulls her up on the very tip of her toes and I smile into her kiss when I sweep my hands down, under her ass that I love so much, and scoop her up while wrapping her legs around my waist. Her arms go around my neck as I continue to claim her lips, letting her know that she’s mine and I’m hers; now and forever. Rhea’s tongue meets mine and I can’t help but chuckle when she bites lightly on my bottom lip. Pushing her back up against the closed door of the only empty stall, I break our kiss only to tell her, “Baby. I’ve loved you forever and I’ll continue loving you forever, no matter what bumps in the road we encounter. No one…and I mean no one will ever come between us.”
I take her lips again, kissing her roughly until she moans into my mouth and melts into my body, her back arching against the rough wood making her hips grind into me. Oh my sexy wife, just wait, I think as I nibble on her earlobe and kick the stall open.
Her laugh makes my blood pump even faster when I drop to my knees, laying us down on the hay piled in the corner. “Chad we’re not really gonna have sex here, are we?” Even in the sparse light from the single bulb above the stall, her blue-gray eyes still get to me and I run my fingers over her soft cheek, lingering on her bottom lip and trailing them down her neck.
I lay over her, stroking her face and taking in this magnificent beauty that I’m married to; the woman who is the mother of my son. “No, Baby, we’re not gonna have sex out here.” She gives me that heart stopper of a smile, leans up and kisses me, lingering and light; not asking for anything, just telling me that she loves me and that she probably knows what I’m going to say next. “I’m gonna make love to you out here.”
Her hand on my cheek pulls me in and her lips cover mine perfectly, one of her hands moving back to tangle in my hair and the other running under my jacket and down my back, making my muscles bunch and twitch with the simple touch. Up on my elbows, I quickly unbutton her jeans, make her lift her hips up and give her a wicked smile.
“Plus, you can’t tell me this is your first roll in the hay.” She pulls her foot free from me tugging her boot off and kicks me in the chest, but I just laugh, grabbing her foot and kissing all the way up to her stomach. “Is this my baby’s first roll in the hay?” I ask her, whispering in her ear and letting my warm breath roll over her skin, seeing the goose-bumps rise on her almost all bare body. Her chest is rising and falling rapidly as she lies beneath me and she nods her head, giving me that sexy and innocent smile that she knows cuts me deep and I’m done for.
I waste no more time shedding my clothes, almost falling on my ass as I stumble trying to get my boots off, and Rhea just giggles at me, pulling one of the saddle blankets down from the wall and throwing it over us as I lay back down with her. I don’t need the blanket, and as I roam my lips down her chest, pulling one of her pert nipples into my mouth and sucking lightly as she writhes beneath me, wanting something more as I release it with a quick bite. Moving down with my hands running down her side, I situate myself between my wife’s thighs, kissing the scar on her right leg.
Her body shakes when I run my fingers over the raised, jagged shaped flesh and I kiss it once more, turning my attention to what I know she really wants. She’s already trying to fight the waves as I sweep my thumb over mound, swirling it over her clit and watching her legs tremble. At first, I just kiss her, then I pull her sensitive bundle in and run my tongue over it as my fingers find her entrance. I love that she falls apart under my touch and as my fingers slide in and out, my tongue teasing her clit, she fists the hay beneath her; screaming my name out as her walls squeeze down.
I fucking love the way her chest is rising and falling, her skin flushed from her orgasm and I release the hold I have on her as she rides out the waves. Not even a second after I move up over her and her hands cover my cheeks, pulling my mouth to hers. She wants what she wants and who am I to deny her? So, settling between her legs the little moan that leaves her when I push slowly into her is music to my ears.
Her lips leave mine and her warm breath runs over my cheek as I move within her, holding her left hip as she rises up to meet me. “I’m sorry…” she starts to say and I cover her mouth with mine to quiet her, rolling my hips into her and chuckling when she bites down on my lip.
“Shh, Baby,” I tell her, making her look at me and rubbing the pad of my thumb over her cheekbone. “Jus’ know that I love you.”
“I love you, too, Chad.” She smiles a smile that seems to reach into my heart and wrap around it, and I crash my lips down onto hers, losing all of my resolve. I take my time, my lips never leaving any part of her body, until Rhea’s hands move down and grip into my ass; her little signal for me that she wants it harder and faster. Again, who am I to deny my wife?
Her head goes back as I grab her hips, driving into her, feeling her muscles tighten around me. She’s so fucking beautiful and I’m coming close faster than I want to. She gasps my name, her hands wrapped around my forearms and I’m a goner. Seeing my sexy as hell wife trembling beneath me is more than enough to do me in and I lean down, taking her lips just as I drive deep one more time, grunting into her mouth as her hands hold my face.
It’s cold, and yes we are in a barn, but I’d be happy if we lay here all night, tangled in one another’s arms. I love my wife, and my family, and I’ll do anything to show them this. Damn those bastards at Savage Security for trying to break us, because I have no doubt it was them; but little did they know they were dealing with one tough country couple whom has loved each other for most of their lives.
I do feel as if I need to tell who that it was a coworker in those pictures, so I turn to her and start to say, “Baby, you need to know that the woman in those pictures is…”
With her fingers against my lips, her beautiful naked body lying beside me, she gives me a heart shattering smile. “I don’t need to know. I trust you, I really do. It’s jus’ with you leavin’ so suddenly I think all of the emotions took over and my imagination went wild.” She leans in and kisses me lightly, trailing kisses up to my nose and making me chuckle. “I love you and I trust you; no matter what.”
Her stare reaches down and tugs at my heart and I pull her face to mine once more, kissing her thoroughly until she’s panting for breath. “I love you and trust you, no matter what, Baby.”
I don’t plan on stopping loving Rhea anytime soon, and as she snuggles into my side, kissing my chest, I can happily say I don’t think she does either. I’m perfectly alright with that, that’s for damn sure.
~~~~
Bobby
Watching Ellie’s taillights disappear, I’m left standing here like a fool. I don’t know what to say and I’m breaking deep down inside.
Walking slowly, mindlessly, toward my new home, I’m kicking myself for not grabbing her and making her look at me; making her talk to me. I fucked it all up, is what I keep thinking over and over again as I get closer to my driveway.
I hear a front door opening and I look back down and across the street to see Rosa heading toward Chad’s house, but I don’t have enough left in me to wonder what she’s doing. Reaching my parked truck, I lean back against it, throwing my head back and looking up at the now clear sky.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper, my breath fogging in the chill. I’m sorry for leaving the way I did and for not making it right while I was away with at least a phone call or something.
Ellie looked so broken and so torn between leaving and staying, the tears that were streaming down her face breaking my heart as she drove away. I know I can’t push her. She’s an adult and I’ll give her some time. But fuck, does it hurt, and a wave of anger rolls over me.
I turn on my truck and start punching the back panel repeatedly, my fists connecting with the metal in rapid succession. I don’t stop until I’m out of breath and my knuckles are bleeding and throbbing. I throw my forehead against the cool side window and try to take a few calming breaths, the adrenaline flowing through my veins like a freight train. My arms are shaking and vibrating with the pain from my stupidity, but it doesn’t bother me.
“I’m so fuckin’ sorry, Ellie,” I grind out, giving the window a pound before pushing myself away, jogging up the driveway and up the steps. Maybe a good hot shower will help.
Entering the sparse living room, I can see Jack in the kitchen. I don’t want to say anything to him about it, but as I round the corner heading for the stairs, he says, “Ya know, poundin’ a huge dent into your truck ain’t gonna mend my sister’s broken heart.”
“Go fuck yourself, Hatter,” I bark and jog up the stairs. I don’t need a lecture. I don’t need anyone except Ellie, but she’s not here. “Fuck,” I mutter to myself and slam the bathroom door. I’ve got to make this right somehow.