Moonlight came through the long thin window and fell on to the stairs. In the hall, it shone in lozenge shapes on to the floor.
She slipped down through the house like a frail little ghost, making no sound at all.
Marilyn Angus was asleep. She went to bed before nine o’clock and slept, sometimes until after nine the next morning. Lucy got herself up and dressed and out of the house. She walked to the school bus on the corner. There were always friends. Friends looked out for her now.
She did not switch on the light until she had closed the kitchen door. The blue-white tubes shimmered alive.
She went to the fridge and took out a carton of milk.
The fruit bowl was empty apart from two walnuts and a small shrivelled, darkened apple. Before, the fruit bowl was always full of oranges, pears, plums, a pineapple, kiwis, bananas. Before.
She reached for a new packet of biscuits, slit it open and sat at the table. The fridge hummed.
What happened next surprised her. There was no difference tonight from any other night. She often came downstairs. Nothing had changed. She felt the same. Everything looked the same. But suddenly, her head was full of it, clear, whole and complete. She did not have to think it through or work her way towards it. It was there, worked out for her. Planned.
She got up, opened the door that led to the utility room and from there to the outside door. She unbolted it. It slid back smoothly and without any sound. The key turned easily. She went outside.
It was not cold. The moon was very bright. From next door, across the drive, she could hear the faint sounds of music. Somewhere across the gardens, a dog barked.
She stood looking down the drive to the gate.
There. The path. The hedge. The gateposts.
Beyond that, the pavement and the road.
There.
He had been there and then he was not there.
She tried again to imagine him. There. Not there.
She did so almost every night. The only thing different was what had happened a few minutes ago inside her head.
A car went fast down the road. The headlights flashed over the gateposts.
The dog barked again.
She slipped back into the house and her head was full and everything was suddenly clear to her. The moonlight was a pool she floated through on her way upstairs.