This Is Just to Say
I have eaten
your hot fudge
sundae
and the cherry on top
which
I thoughtfully
replaced
with anchovies
Forgive me
I gave three spoonfuls
of ice cream
to the cat
This Is Just to Say
I baked
a cottage
made all
of gingerbread
which
you and your sister
will be unable
to resist
Forgive me
I am hungry
and I prefer my food
young
This Is Just to Say
Tonight
we are eating
dinner
at Aunt Mildred’s house
although
you will likely
throw up
when we get home
Forgive me
she made
her peppermint-spinach pudding
just for you
This Is Just to Say
I have chewed
through
the tall
beanstalk
which
you recently
stepped off
way up there
Forgive me
I think
I’m worth
more than five magic beans
This Is Just to Say
In your new prom dress
I danced
all night
with your boyfriend
who
accidentally
spilled grape juice
on the skirt
Forgive me
the stain
is almost
too small to see
This Is Just to Say
I convinced
Cupid
to pair you
with a warthog
whom
you will eternally
cherish
and love
Forgive me
warthogs
are very
affectionate
This Is Just to Say
The sharp teeth
the fur all over your face
and your new tail
are family traits
which
are charmingly
displayed in the portraits
hanging in the den
Forgive us
we should have
told you
sooner
This Is Just to Say
A single rose
adorned the table
while I breakfasted
on your daughter
which
proves regrettably
that I am
just a beast
Forgive me
please send
her sisters
by the next coach
This Is Just to Say
I recieved
my Joon
report
card
which
says I’m definitly
gonna be left
way back
Forgive me
the kids
in my new class
ain’t been born yet
This Is Just to Say
I found
an old lamp
and called forth
a genie
who
is busily
granting
my wishes
Forgive me
time-out and grounded
and other unpleasant phrases
can no longer be uttered
This Is Just to Say
I have cast
a magic spell
on Louie
the bully
which
will soon
turn him
into a fly
Forgive me
my fly swatter
is already
ready
This Is Just to Say
I swiped
your lucky
baseball
cap
which
made you tragically
lose
the state playoff
Forgive me
the cap
keeps the sun
out of my eyes
This Is Just to Say
Spreading
across your skin
is an itchy
blistery rash
which
was deliberately
caused by yours truly
planting poison ivy on your lawn
Forgive me
next time
pay me
for mowing
This Is Just to Say
Ahead of you
you should see
a track
switch
which
will certainly
startle
and confuse you
Forgive me
you think
you can
but you can’t
This Is Just to Say
I have shortened
my nose
with your saw
because
honestly
telling lies
is so much fun
Forgive me
I don’t care
about becoming
a real boy
This Is Just to Say
You may be jumping around
and skipping
pages
in this book
which
I actually
spent ten years
arranging
Forgive me
I put the curse of the mummy
on anyone
who reads out of order
This Is Just to Say
To get my crimes
off my chest
I broke
into the cemetery
where
I confessed
to the bones
and the tombstones
Forgive me
dead men
tell
no tales
This Is Just to Say
I moved recently
into my new
old
house
through which
you ghoulishly
expected to stump forever
headless and trailing blood
Forgive me
residents
must clean up
after themselves
This Is Just to Say
I have run away
from home
with Muffie
and
they surprisingly
let her
on the plane
Forgive me
we just
landed in—
never mind
This Is Just to Say
They sing
The bear
went over
the mountain
which
leads him repeatedly
to see
other mountains
Forgive me
no one sings the ending
the landslide
and the dead bear
This Is Just to Say
When you arrive
I will not be
lying
in my bed
where
you hungrily
hoped
to find me
Forgive me
tell my granddaughter
better one of us
should live
This Is Just to Say
I heard
screams
coming from the cottage
which
I should valiantly
and immediately
have entered
Forgive me
at the time
I preferred
to finish my bubble bath
This Is Just to Say
I’m the one
who stuck
the cradle
in the tree
which
was probably
a stupid place
to put a baby
Forgive me
I thought
that bough would break
sooner or later
This Is Just to Say
Last night
I plucked
your baby
from your arms
when
you carelessly
fell
asleep
Forgive me
just guess my assumed name
in the Dwarf
Witness Protection Program
This Is Just to Say
I have sent
a hungry lion
into your parents’
hotel room
just when
they were tenderly
talking about
how wonderful you are
Forgive me
I am
starting
an orphanage
This Is Just to Say
I confess
I sliced off
their skinny
tails
which
they seemed awfully
fond
of waving
Forgive me
I wanted symmetry
sightless in front
tailless behind
This Is Just to Say
I, Rapunzel,
and not the witch
have lopped off
my braid
which
you daily
climbed
to me
Forgive me
you’re not worth
the pain
in my scalp
This Is Just to Say
You screamed
while I
yanked out
your hook
which
would doubtlessly
have injured the crocodile
when it ate you
Forgive me
I hate
cruelty
to animals
This Is Just to Say
Soon
you will
visit
your cousins
who thoughtlessly
broke your bicycle
and chewed your gum
last time
Forgive me
you’re
staying
a month
This Is Just to Say
It was I
who shoved
you
off the wall
which
you had precariously
perched on
for centuries
Forgive me
all the king’s horses
and all the king’s men
were bored
This Is Just to Say
By feeling inside
your right snow boot
I located
your diary
which
you moronically
left
where anyone could find it
Forgive me
a year’s allowance
and your college fund
will buy my silence
This Is Just to Say
The principal
may mention
my science project
in a phone call
which
could conceivably
threaten expulsion
and marks on my permanent record
Forgive me
I proved my hypothesis
blood is thicker
than water
This Is Just to Say
I gagged
your little brother
and tied him up
at school
after
you clearly
said what a brat
he is
Forgive me
I can’t remember
which locker
I stuffed him in
This Is Just to Say
I have torn
down
the water
spout
which
you obsessively
wanted to climb up
and slide off forever
Forgive me
kick your habit
spin a web
catch a bug
This Is Just to Say
From one cup of organic tomatoes
one tarantula
and two tablespoons of ants
I cooked a stew
which
you gluttonously
devoured
then licked the bowl
Forgive me
you are
what
you eat
This Is Just to Say
I pushed
your boat
out of the gentle
stream
where
you were merrily
singing
and rowing
Forgive me
life
is but
a nightmare
This Is Just to Say
I already knew
the pea
was under
the mattresses
which
helped immeasurably
in faking
the true princess test
Forgive me
I am a true
evil
enchantress
This Is Just to Say
The moment
it fell off
I snatched
the glass slipper
which
would gloriously
have led you
to Cinderella
Forgive me
I am one-legged
was shoeless
size 3½
This Is Just to Say
I have found
seventeen
cavities
in your teeth
which
you sincerely
wish
were not there
Forgive me
my drill is ready
and I
am in a bad mood
This Is Just to Say
You have reached
the last
of these poems
although
you likely
preferred strep throat
to reading them
Forgive me
I wrote
every one
especially for you
