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AFTER CHURCH there was an impromptu reception in the parking lot. They all just had to chat a little before they got in their cars. Dream Negro, Precious’s mom, helped Chickadee Sunflower, Mahogany’s mom, navigate through the crowd. Chickadee was nine months pregnant. She knew it could come at any moment. She’d wondered if it would come during service. But Mama Sunflower wasn’t about to miss a good sermon. Now, as the two walked slowly through the crowd, ladies were waving and wishing her well and the sun was out and the day was going so beautifully. But just then Ubiquity Jones was driving by in her Ninasimonemobile, listening, as usual, to her favorite song, “Sinnerman.” She loved it when Nina sang, “Oh sinnerman, where you gon run to?” Ubiquity saw Mama Sunflower and Dream Negro together in a crowd and couldn’t resist. She had somewhere to be, but she parked her Ninasimonemobile just to drop her gossip bomb.
Ubiquity rumbled into the parking lot wearing a hat with a brim so wide she cast a shadow over her entire giant body, as if she’d finally embraced her ominous place in their lives. Her triple chins jumped up and down as she bounced toward Chickadee and Dream, and it looked like the chins were rooting her on. As Ubiquity moved through the crowd women held their breath until she passed, then turned around to see where she was headed. They all feared the big, pregnant smile she always had before she was about to drop a particularly large gossip bomb. She was wearing that smile that day.
None of the gossips ever had anything to say about Mama Sunflower. She was beyond reproach, working hard at raising all those kids with a man who loved her to pieces. So no one expected Ubiquity to be heading toward her. But even if they’d known where she was headed, they couldn’t have saved Mama Sunflower. Avoiding Ubiquity when she wanted to drop one of her bombs on you was as easy as avoiding Death when it’s ready to take you. Ubiquity sashayed right up beside Chickadee and Dream, then hovered there a long moment so everyone would know who she was dropping a bomb on today. It was very rare to see Ubiquity sashay up to two women at once, and no one had ever known of Mama Sunflower or Dream Negro, both women from prominent Soul City families, being approached by the likes of Ubiquity. It appeared that history was about to take place in the parking lot of Baby Love’s. Every single lady in the lot was listening.
“Mo-nin, ladies!” Ubiquity sang out.
Chickadee and Dream turned around and deadpanned, “Mo-nin?” Neither of them could believe that Ubiquity Jones had come for her.
Ubiquity took a deep dramatic breath to prepare herself. This was going to be good. “Ain’t it a shame . . . !” she cried out, deeply pained for the fate of Soul City.
Dream trembled, but Mama Sunflower kept one brow tucked low, not ready to give Ubiquity her respect. “What? What!” Dream demanded nervously, as if she were asking to be shot sooner than later.
“That both of your daughters are running around town doing drugs . . . !”
The entire parking lot gasped as one.
“. . . with a strange man . . .” She paused and looked around to make sure everyone was listening. “From The City!” She held back the news of his dirty mind, waiting to see the effect of these first two bombs.
Dream crumbled into tears.
Chickadee was embarrassed, but her chin remained high.
“Just tryin to help,” Ubiquity lied.
“I will deal with my daughter on my own time,” Chickadee said firmly. And then she cut her eyes at Ubiquity. The entire parking lot gasped again. No lady dared challenge Ubiquity.
Ubiquity took up Chickadee’s stare and tried to read her mind but could find nothing with which to embarrass her further. She considered dropping the other bomb, but she could see that Chickadee was stubborn, a tough cookie, and Ubiquity thought she might need to sashay up to Chickadee another day because she certainly did not like the way Chickadee had challenged her. She liked to see women cry. Tears were her favorite form of applause, and Chickadee had not cried a bit. This would not do. She placed the other gossip bomb back in the vault and began waiting for the absolutely worst possible moment to drop it.
I’m gonna get you for this, Chickadee thought.
I heard that, Ubiquity thought.