The conference dragged on endlessly. Even after a short break for lunch it felt like an eternity had passed since Fei had left the warmth of her bed. She rested her chin on a bridge formed by the backs of her hands as she listened to various people repeat themselves over and over again. Her father was seated near her, much to her dismay, but between them were several bodyguards and even Ala, whose menacing mechanical eye frequently swiped in Lilon Neron’s direction, keeping him in place.
Fei’s stomach gave an unhappy twist. Ala’s cup of coffein was throwing off the standard bitter scent, which usually wouldn’t have bothered Fei, but today it burrowed into her nostrils and deposited greasy, acrid layers. She fought the urge to double over.
Ala looked at her. ‘You alright?’
‘It’s just…just nerves,’ Fei ground out, her forehead now low enough to graze the table.
Slowly, uncertainly, something unfurled inside her, a small, curious presence that reached for her the moment it noticed she was paying attention. Joy pricked the corners of Fei’s eyes. She had to force herself to swallow the words she wanted to shout.
When she finally managed to lift her head, Ala’s mouth was forming soundless shapes and the continuing murmurs around the table made even less sense than they had before.
I’m pregnant, Fei thought with such conviction that she almost laughed.
She heard a sharp intake of breath, as though Kuja was sitting beside her.
No, he protested. No, that can’t be.
Fei hid her smile by pretending to cough into her hand and nodded along when Ala leaned in to enquire about her wellbeing. So I wasn’t dreaming all those times. I’m sorry — I am so, so sorry — but I took the implant out weeks ago. Before you left. It was stupid and selfish and wrong.
Why didn’t you tell me!? Kuja sounded upset. Fei had expected that, given what she’d done, but what she hadn’t expected was the undercurrent of fear in his words.
Kuja, she said, not bothering to mask her annoyance, I’m not the only one at fault here. Clearly you were visiting me and pretending it wasn’t happening. If I’d known you were really there, I would have told you! Look, I know you’re just part of my psyche, but it would be nice if you were at least a little bit happy about this…
I am! Kuja cried. And I would love to start a family with you — but he will come back!
What are you talking about? Just tell me, Kuja!
An image of the strange man who had been in the crowd outside the hotel surfaced in Fei’s mind. Her heart spasmed in fear and she grabbed the edge of the table to keep from falling off the chair that for whatever absurd reason didn’t have a supportive back. Fei had to blink several times, stunned, because suddenly there were vines entwined around her arms, keeping her anchored to the table. It was as if they’d grown right out of the wooden surface.
A tiny blade shot out from the cuff of one of Ala’s sleeves and the other woman swiftly used it to saw through the vines. Ala then yanked Fei’s hands off the table.
‘Anything you want to share?’ Ala demanded, her voice a harsh whisper as she swept the remains of the plant onto the floor.
‘You saw that? It was real? Oh!’ Fei’s heart soared. ‘Bagara! Bagara has given me powers so that we can fight the Chippers. This is great news, Ala — we need to tell Bock — ’
Ala’s nails dug into Fei’s flesh. ‘Tell no one. This is not what you think it is.’
‘But the rainforest god — ’
A low, strangled sound corded its way out of Ala’s mouth. ‘I don’t doubt it’s the rainforest god. But I don’t think you should start splashin’ this about.’
‘But why else would he give — ’ Fei began.
Ala hushed her, scowling. ‘We’ll talk about it later. Put that god out of your head for now and focus on the god that’s actually causin’ us this trouble.’
Fei quickly projected a mask of polite agreement, which she hoped fooled Ala. Fei was certain she’d had more than enough practice doing this; she’d spent two Old Earth years convincing Moz she was actually listening to him and not staring at his mouth, wondering when it would stop moving.
But then Bock turned towards her and she really did have to listen this time.
Fei nodded once, getting the gist of his words, then took in the wide, round table full of people waiting to hear what she had to say. She swallowed. ‘Um. Hi. I used to work for TerraCorp but then I discovered they were bankrolling GLEA. We have proof of that now. But why not let the whole galaxy know that you are one and the same? Just be transparent. You wouldn’t have to worry about us, um, releasing the files then. You could spin this any way you want to, make yourselves look good.’
Lilon rose from his chair, causing it to scrape over the marble floor. ‘Feiscina, you refuse to listen to our god and so feel abandoned by those who do, those who know the path the Creator God has given them to follow. You are jealous of that faith and success. Admit that this is the true reason behind this farce. Admit that you are choosing this battleground for your personal vendetta.’
Fei raised her eyebrows at him, wondering if he expected her to shrink the way she’d always done before him. She’d suffered years of him talking over her and never bothering to understand her. Berale Neron was ten times the parent he would ever be.
I’m a grown woman and soon I’ll have my own child, Fei thought, leaving her seat and gaining as much height against her father as possible. I will not abandon my son. I will never let him think he isn’t good enough. I had Berale. And he will have me.
‘Transparency.’ Fei’s voice was wispy at first and failed to rise above the mutters filling the room. So she lifted her chin and tried again. ‘Transparency. You ask transparency of me yet won’t give it yourselves. That is…disappointing.’
Fei caught Ton Tinel’s approving nod and grinned at the mediaist. But her triumph faded when she saw her former boss, Mozel Zan, jump out of his chair.
Moz turned away from her, to the rest of the room, and said, ‘Feiscina Neron was suffering a crisis of faith. She let her own personal doubts interfere with her work. And now she is letting those doubts create strife where there should be none. If you want transparency, there it is.’
‘Sit down, Mr Zan,’ Bock ordered. He worked his shoulders against the air, apparently loosening them — or getting ready for a physical fight. But his words remained carefully chosen, his genuine accent buried. ‘This isn’t about Fei. This is about the fact that GLEA’s bankrolling TerraCorp and not being entirely forthcoming to their clients or the people they’re supposed to be looking after.’
Ala nodded sagely. ‘Could be that GLEA’s afraid the folk they’ve hurt will stop pumpin’ coin-chips into TerraCorp once they find out the truth.’
Moz lobbed a pleading look down the table at the TerraCorp leaders whose vinyl suits shone beneath the piped lighting. Moz might be middle management, but even he was at the mercy of his superiors. They were using him in an attempt to rattle Fei.
She smirked. It wasn’t working.
‘Since you are now aware that TerraCorp belongs to GLEA…’ Lilon Neron said, his voice booming across the table. Moz seated himself hastily. ‘…it’s in your best interests to return the machines. Or there may be repercussions. Governor Atsason, just how many gangs do you have to fight a war for you? And would they? I was under the impression they are still separate factions despite being united by the man you ousted from power.’
‘That is not how it happened,’ Ala said icily.
Bock’s forehead creased so much that his brow cast shadows over his eyes. ‘Are you Chippers looking to start a war? You’re insane. You’re not in charge of any governments. And not everyone’s going to let you walk all over them — some worlds even have armies larger than GLEA.’
‘Makes you wonder why the Chippers are so keen to get an outpost on every planet,’ Ala added. ‘They’ll end up taking over the whole starking galaxy at this rate. Is that what you’re plannin’ on doing, Head General?’
Huw Hunslow’s pointed silence condemned the entire Agency.
‘Oh, I see,’ Fei said with a jagged shake of her head. ‘Stark free will. We don’t get to choose which god we worship.’
‘Only one god has given his people the power to protect the galaxy!’ Lilon roared.
His hands shot out in front of him, rising until they stood above his shoulders. The table, caught inside the forcefield his chip had generated, lifted at his command and began to hover a hand’s width above the floor. Multiple conference attendees reacted in panic, pushing themselves away from the table, their chairs forming a concert of screeches.
Fei stayed right where she was, her fury outweighing her fear. ‘And what about the desert tribes? Their god, the Desine, gives them powers — and they don’t even need a chip to use those!’
‘They are liars!’ Hunslow shouted. ‘There is only one true god!’
Fei laughed and laughed, incapable of holding the derision in. She felt Ala’s fingers dig into her arm, trying to pull her back from the table, but she jerked away and raised her hands to the ceiling, just as her father had done. ‘Bagara, god of the rainforests, hear me. I need you. The people of Yalsa 5 need you. They desire to have you, so come claim us!’
Vines exploded from her palms then twisted and wriggled their way across the table, seeking out those who hadn’t yet moved far enough away. The table was her next victim; it shook beneath the weight of the plants growing on it before toppling to the floor, where gnarled roots cracked it apart.
Fei smiled, enjoying how everyone cowered before her, even the ones with ugly protrusions on their temples.
Well, nearly everyone was cowering.
Bock cleared his throat, hands pressed together as though he’d been applauding. ‘Well now, I guess we were holdin’ a conference with the wrong people, not to mention the wrong god.’
Ala shot him a look. ‘Don’t ya dare do this, Bock.’
‘Can this Bagara of yours terraform my planet without any tech?’ Bock asked Fei, apparently unbothered by the warning in his wife’s tone.
‘I…I don’t know,’ Fei answered.
‘That Kuja dude will know,’ Bock said. ‘Can you get in contact with him?’
Fei trembled. She felt her control slip. Barely a heartbeat later, the vines tumbled away from her and vanished, as though vaporised by a lasgun. She staggered backwards into Ala.
‘I can’t,’ Fei whispered, feeling her guts tighten. ‘It’s not safe.’
Bock sneered but Ala held up one hand to silence him, using the other to set Fei back on her feet. ‘Shut up, Bock. She’s right. And it seems to me that Kuja left so she’d have a chance at a normal life without all the shit that messed Callista up.’ Ala drew a breath. ‘You’re pregnant, aren’t ya, Fei?’
Fei nodded, confused. She was sure she hadn’t given herself away.
‘Then the best thing you can do right now is stay off everyone’s radar,’ Ala said flatly.
Fei threw a frown between her two employers. ‘You’re not telling me something. I’m scared enough as it is without being kept in the dark. Get back!’ she roared when one of the Chippers tried to edge closer. They obeyed, meekly shuffling off.
But Lilon wasn’t to be deterred so easily. He marched forward, back straight and shoulders jutting up towards the ceiling. ‘Feiscina. You cannot do this.’
‘What, shatter your faith in the Creator God?’ Fei asked. She gripped her elbows with her hands to keep them from knocking against her sides. ‘I don’t mean to point fingers, Lilon, but you did it to me first.’
Behind Lilon, representatives from both GLEA and TerraCorp began retreating towards the door. Annoyed that they were trying to sneak away before she was done with them, Fei barrelled forward, swooping aside so that her shoulder would not collide with her father’s, and made her way around the perimeter of the table. She stopped only when she’d managed to get out in front of the representatives. They paused, all of them watching her with wary eyes.
‘You’re not the first abnormality we’ve seen,’ Head General Huw Hunslow finally said, the illusion of his human face flickering even more violently than before. ‘We are aware of all threats to GLEA, including those desert magicians. You do not surprise us. Or frighten us.’
‘So you do acknowledge that the Desine’s worshippers have powers, fancy that,’ Fei said, then looked at Moz. He was frowning. ‘Are you surprised that I’m no longer the little doormat you kept walking over? I made it too easy for you.’
‘Feiscina.’ Moz stepped forward — but only after a frantic shove from one of his superiors. ‘All of this unpleasantness could have been avoided. I was your boss. I was there for you. Why couldn’t you just talk to me?’
‘So you could brush me off or steal my ideas and take the credit?’ Fei shook her head. ‘No. TerraCorp and GLEA lost me. Bagara was the one who cared enough to listen.’
She sauntered towards the door, pleased that she was more than capable of standing up for herself, and ran into Ton Tinel who was practically radiating triumph, though his red skin might have contributed to that impression. He had a lot of footage that he could use as blackmail now — and GLEA was not going to like that. Not one bit.
Fei grinned.
• • •
Kuja ran over the dunes on some desert world, tears streaking down his face. He tripped and toppled over yet again, the sand caking the precious moisture that bathed his cheeks. He was so afraid that he already knew what his brother going to say, but he had to ask. He had to know.
Levering himself onto his knees, Kuja cried, ‘Sandsa! Stark it, Sandsa, I need you!’
The Desine ignored him. But the sand and grit around Kuja shifted, interest piqued. Encouraged, Kuja cupped some of the nearby grains in his hand and spoke to them. ‘Please, my friends. I don’t know if you look after him the way the rainforests look after me, but you’ve seen his pain, you know how bitter it’s made him. I don’t want to be like that. I don’t want to become him.’
The sand trickled away between his fingers.
And then a shadow fell over the Rforine.
Kuja looked up just in time to see his brother drop onto ground beside him.
‘I’m impressed,’ Sandsa said, eyeing Kuja. ‘I would never have thought to use your rainforests against you in such a manner. I must be wary or soon you will wrest the deserts from me.’
‘Only you seem to have the ability to command more than your own domain, Sandsa,’ Kuja said, then bit down hard on his bottom lip. The ensuing sting told him he’d drawn blood. ‘I…I…oh, Sandsa. See into my thoughts. Fei is in so much danger and Fayay will come for her once he finds out — and it’s my fault!’
Sandsa’s lips twitched. ‘For gods, we are surprisingly irresponsible. We forget that more caution is required in certain situations.’ When Kuja blinked at him, Sandsa clarified, ‘Birth control. But it was a beautiful thing, to create life with Callista.’
Sandsa closed his eyes, his grief throwing lines over his immortal features.
Kuja distantly knew that he shouldn’t try to make his case when Sandsa was like this, but he couldn’t feel anything beyond his own fear. ‘Sandsa! Please! I thought — I thought leaving Fei would keep her safe. I was so stupid, visiting her at night…please. Please help me. The way I helped you.’
‘You helped me?’ Sandsa laughed darkly. The dunes around them bent and swayed; some disintegrated while others grew to the size of skyscrapers. ‘You were useless when Fayay came for my family. He forced me to become a god again…and you did nothing.’
Kuja winced. If he hadn’t failed, if he hadn’t let his brother down so badly, then Sandsa might still be with Callista…no. No, that had been Callista’s decision, not Kuja’s.
Kuja shook his head. ‘This is not about you.’ He sent vines streaking out beneath the surface of the sand in all directions, like dark green veins writhing beneath beige flesh. ‘I still have a chance. If you stand by, if you do nothing, then I will lose my family. Please don’t let that happen! I want to see if I can…if I can be happy, the way you were.’
‘Happy! You think I’m happy, never sensing my wife or son, never knowing where they are…’ Sandsa dropped his chin to his chest, looking like a broken man.
‘Please, Sandsa, I love her!’ Kuja cried.
‘Love isn’t enough,’ Sandsa retorted. ‘There is so much more to it than love.’
‘What then?’ Kuja demanded. ‘Anything I need to do, I will do it!’
Sand began to choke the Rforine’s vines, halting their growth and cutting them off at the source. Kuja breathed slowly, allowing the loss, willing himself not to rise against his brother. He needed Sandsa’s help. Desperately.
But when the Desine spoke his voice was flat. ‘Kuja. Even if you were strong enough to fight Fayay and Father, what happens when Fei finds out what you are? She will leave you, just as Callista left me.’
Kuja seated his fists in his lap. ‘My son already has his powers and Fei is accessing them — they need my support. They need me to be there for them.’
‘I cannot help you.’ Sandsa stood and began trudging away. ‘I cannot watch your heart break.’
The desert god’s form dissolved into sand and the next gust of wind obliterated what remained of Kuja’s brother.
Kuja sat there, unmoving, spine bowed, face drenched with sweat and tears. But instead of drowning in despair, he found himself thinking of Zareth Sins’ parting words on Saren.
Fight, Kuja. Fight because it’s the right thing to do. And who knows…you might even win.
‘I might not win,’ Kuja murmured. ‘But I have to try. She deserves no less.’
When he rose from the sand, he was not just a god. He was a man fighting for everything he loved and held dear.