*Ashni perched on a barstool that Luke Wilder, Sky’s brother-in-law, had vacated for her. She angled her body toward the bar. She was not going to look at the swinging doors. She wasn’t. She didn’t care that Beck had replaced her within a couple of hours with a vivacious, gorgeous, tall, curvy blonde who drank Grey’s signature pink drink and probably giggled like a middle school girl.
She was fine being single!
That’s what this week, maybe a year, maybe forever was all about. Time to plan for a future—without Beck, who’d seized the first opportunity to get horizontal with the first willing woman. The memory of the hook-up questions he’d asked Bodhi mocked her, and, no, those were not tears stinging her eyes!
Totally unlike him—or so she’d thought. He never looked at women when they were out, and they’d looked at him. A lot. Especially on the tour.
She’d wanted some space. Looked like she’d got it. Permanently.
Ashni pulled herself out of her slouch—her former Shastriya Devesh instructor would be horrified at her slumping posture. She could practically hear the scold from states away.
“What can I get you two?” Luke asked politely.
“Club soda with lime,” she said while Sky ordered a whiskey.
“Wild woman,” Ashni teased.
“Make that two whiskeys, Luke,” Sky said all saucy. “I’m going to teach Ashni how to shoot whiskey so she can look badass cowgirl when her idiot man comes charging in hangdog muttering some dumb explanation.”
“To be fair,” Luke began, “he—”
“I don’t want to hear it,” Ashni interrupted. Seeing Beck with a woman who was the total opposite of her—stumbling drunk from a bar—would make it easier to ignore him this week. Make that forever.
“He seemed pretty occupied,” she added, aiming for casual, but her voice sounded raw. She would not cry. Instead she wanted to smack that shocked look off his face. And maybe kick him in the balls with the toe of the new boots she’d bought with Sky today.
She’d had such a surreal day. Watching Beck dodge Jerry’s nosy questions on TV and having to make light of it in front of her parents and family. Her rash resignation and job application. The fun shopping with Sky and making dinner for Ben without any of ‘the boys.’ Ashni felt like she’d just been put on a spin cycle.
She could feel Bodhi watching her, trying to get her attention, practically willing her to look or walk over, but he was also chatting up a beautifully rich, auburn-haired woman.
Men.
She’d been to Grey’s Saloon many times with Beck and his cousins, but she’d only had eyes for one man. And he for her. But now that she was newly single, she should at least pretend to look around and be interested in other men.
“Here, try this. Look happy.”
“What?”
“He’s here.” Sky firmly put a tumbler of whiskey in her hand.
Ashni’s heart jumped to her throat. Beck was back? With or without his tipsy conquest? She so wasn’t going to look.
OMG, I’m in middle school again.
“But I ordered a…”
“Whiskey will look cooler,” Sky interrupted. “Toss it back and throw yourself into the burn,” Sky advised. “Just don’t toss it in his face. This is my brother-in-law Laird’s top-shelf. And if your man’s acting stupid, he’s not worth the good stuff. Besides—” Sky swung her long hair behind her and smiled, her blue eyes alight with mischief “—Jason will kick you out if you act up, and he has a long memory. Luke’s been tossed out.” Sky needled her brother-in-law.
Luke slid the club soda in front of Ashni as well. “Thank you for the reminder, little sister, but Colt was tossed as well, and we’re both back in Jason’s good graces.”
“As if there is such a thing,” Sky said. “At least pretend to sip. Laird finally convinced Jason to give him a trial month with the whiskey to see what patrons think. Choking on it or having the top-shelf tossed at a cowboy, no matter how badly he deserves it, will not make the impression Laird wants. Well, considering it’s Laird, maybe that is an impression he could get behind. Ignore Beck. Act cool. Make him sweat. Use his F-up as creative fodder.”
“I’m going to tell my little brother Kane his wife has a mean streak a mile wide,” Luke said. “Ladies, enjoy your night of cruelty toward men and acting cool.” Luke pulled out his phone and texted before walking away to join another group of cowboys.
Ashni couldn’t breathe, much less act cool. Sky was acting like this was fun, and Ashni found herself utterly unable to enter the spirit of the game. Games were more the Ballantyne thing. One would think she would have picked up some skills after so many years. But she did have a lot of acting experience to draw from.
“Showtime,” she murmured and pretended to take a sip of the whiskey. Even the fumes made her eyes water. Definitely the whiskey, not what was going down with Beck and pink drink swilling—judging by the pink splattered on Beck’s shirt—blonde.
And then he was here. Even before she saw him, she felt him. And smelled him: orange, cedar, cinnamon and something that was uniquely Beck. She couldn’t help herself. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply.
“Ash, I can explain.” The deep timbre of his voice tingled her ears, and the buzz went down to her toes.
She felt herself melt—melt with longing and forgiveness and…stupid girl. Her eyes snapped open. Not happening. Be strong. She didn’t want her life to revolve around Beck, and she couldn’t throw herself back into his arms the moment he got within touching range. Besides, the pink splash on his white shirt and the way the shirt’s wet spot clung to his well-defined chest reminded her of what he’d been doing and with whom.
She thought of something snarky to say—well, bitchy, really—but instead closed her eyes and sniffed at the whiskey in what she hoped looked like appreciation. At least the whiskey drowned out Beck’s scent a little.
Beck could do whatever he wanted as long as it was without her.
“No explanation necessary.” She looked up into his eyes, bracing herself to act cool—whatever that looked like in Sky’s opinion. But the open misery in his expression made her heart squeeze.
“Hi.” Sky smiled. “I’m Sky. This is my friend, Ashni.”
The misery morphed to confusion. “Yeah, I know,” he said.
“You in town for the rodeo?” Sky asked a little flirtatiously.
What was Sky playing at? She knew who Beck was. Ashni pretended to take another tiny sip of the whiskey. “You’re right—this is top-shelf.”
“You hate whiskey.” Beck’s blue gaze continued to bore a hole in her soul. “Besides…” He leaned into her. Her breath tangled in her throat and her heart hammered. “You didn’t even taste it.”
“I did.”
“Prove it,” he softly challenged and somehow her heart kicked up harder.
“I don’t have to prove anything to you,” she said.
“True.” His gaze dropped to her mouth, and her lips tingled. “Because I know that you didn’t take a sip.”
“Whiskey’s my new favorite drink,” she declared.
“Then maybe you should take a sip, cowgirl.” He pressed his thumb on her bottom lip. “Or you could share.”
“I don’t share,” she said quickly.
“Me neither,” he whispered in her ear. His breath was warm; fluttered her hair and caressed her cheek. Her heart flipped. Was he flirting with her?
She palmed the whiskey, needing something to hold that wasn’t Beck.
“What’s your top money-making event?” Sky rolled her own glass in her palms, warming it.
Ashni looked between the two of them. Was she supposed to be taking notes? Was this creative fodder? “You look as though you like to tie things up,” Sky said innocently, but the sparkle in her eyes was wicked.
Had the girl gone crazy? She didn’t know Sky all that well, but she was a young metals artist with her professional reputation on a steep upward trajectory. She was married to a husband who clearly adored her, and she was a mother with three young children. She was also on the board of Harry’s House and part of a large, almost dynastic family. Should flirty game player be added to the list?
Ashni definitely needed to take notes—not for Beck—but for the future.
“I do enjoy roping. It gives me great pleasure.” Beck drawled out the last word and angled his body closer to Ashni’s. Her body lit up. Ignited. Like they weren’t in a public place loud with conversation, laughing, country music, and the crack of pool balls.
A game! Ashni practically slapped her palm against her forehead. Of course. Sky was playing with Beck. Her husband was a recently retired top-tier bull rider. All rodeo cowboys thrived on challenge.
And I’ve been a really sure thing for a long time.
“How are your moves, cowboy?” Sky challenged. “You any good on the dance floor?”
“I can hold my own.” Beck’s hand slid across Ashni’s shoulders and down her back to rest lightly on her hip. She couldn’t help the shiver of awareness as goose bumps rose up to say “welcome home.”
Stupid body.
“I’d love to give you a demonstration with your friend here.” Beck smiled down at her. He mouthed, ‘I missed you.’
Ashni was trapped in the heat of his blue gaze. No. This was not supposed to happen. She wasn’t supposed to cave at the first challenge. How was she supposed to make this into a game? She didn’t do games. Not ever.
And yet you fell in love with a man who is constantly engaged in an “I can do better than you” challenge with his cousins.
“I was hoping for a more up-close and personal demonstration,” Sky said.
“What?” Beck looked totally shocked. “With you? But…” He looked from Sky to her, almost pleading.
Ashni stifled the urge to laugh. It was fun to see Beck thrown off his game. And why shouldn’t she play too? Sky was having fun, maybe punishing Beck a little for leaving a bar with a rather drunk blonde, but now that Ashni had processed the shock, she knew Beck wouldn’t cheat or hook up with a woman who was drunk.
“That’s not very polite, cowboy,” she said. “My friend all but asked you to dance. You’re not going to leave her hanging, are you?” She lifted the whiskey to her lips. “Besides, you bragged about your moves. I want to see them.”
“Ashni?”
“You may not know this about me, but I like to watch.”
Shock at her audacity flooded through her, and a surprised heat entered his gaze. Maybe she needed to dial it down a bit.
“I prefer first-hand experience.” Sky’s gaze was bold as it roved from Beck’s face, down his body and back up again, slowly.
“Ahhhhh.” Pink tinged his cheeks, which lightened Ashni’s mood considerably. When had she become so serious? She was becoming a dud—always worrying about the future like her mom, never reveling in the moment anymore.
Beck took the whiskey from Ashni and took a healthy sip.
“Now you can taste it.” He brushed his lips over hers, and it was all Ashni could do to hold off from tossing herself into his kiss. Beck lingered, his mouth barely touching hers.
“I’d love to dance,” he said. “I’d just like to explain something to Ashni that happened but didn’t happen. I haven’t seen my girl for two weeks, and I want…”
“No.” Ashni stood, making sure that her body brushed against Beck’s, and she let her denim jacket slip down her shoulders so that they were bare. “You don’t need to explain anything.” She stood on tiptoes and whispered, letting her lips brush his clean-shaven jaw, “Dance with Sky. I want to watch.”
The second flare of heat in his eyes nearly crumbled her resolve.
“I’ll buy you a drink.” She slipped her hand in his back pocket, spreading her fingers wide for a moment to curl them into his very prime, firm ass and then extracted his wallet. “On you,” she said touching the top of her lip with her tongue—a move she’d read about in so many romances. Too obvious?
His regard focused on her mouth, and she felt like he almost kissed her again. Heat bloomed from her breasts to her core. No. She was supposed to be playing a flirtation game. Not falling under the spell she was clumsily trying to weave.
“I know what you like,” she murmured.
“What I love,” he corrected, fingers brushing hers.
For a moment she almost held on to him. It would be so easy. But no. She needed to walk on her own for a while. If Beck wanted to have a life with her, he had to love the woman she wanted to become, not just the one she’d been. She didn’t want either of them to stay together out of habit.
“Enjoy your dance.” She looked into his warm blue eyes that always reminded her of a lake in summer.
“I will.” One finger stroked her cheek, and it took all her willpower not to lean into his hand. “But the dance later with you will be even sweeter.”
Where was the air? How did she swallow?
“Maybe,” she said angling her body away from him, making sure her bottom brushed his groin. She heard him hiss, and it felt like the sun rose in her chest.
“Bartender,” she called out.
*
It took a lot of discipline to keep his attention focused on his dance partner, when he wanted to get back to Ash. She looked fantastic. She had sort of a mustard-colored, soft wrap dress he hadn’t seen before. It was off the shoulder, exposing her silky dark skin, and it hugged her body and skimmed several inches above her knee. Where had she been hiding that dress? And did the bow at her waist hold the dress on or was it for show? A vision of him untying the dress and it puddling around her new cowboy boots suddenly left him needing to adjust himself.
Do not think of Ash naked. Or the dress.
“You do have a few moves,” Sky teased. “But your attention needs some work.”
“Sorry.” Beck looked down into her upturned face. “I just…” He took her hand and spun Sky left in a tight circle and then right and then they two-stepped counterclockwise around the perimeter of the small dance floor. “Ashni’s been away at a family wedding for a couple of weeks, and I really missed her.”
And she hadn’t answered his calls or returned his texts today.
Bodhi, like always, had been right. Something was very, very wrong.
And he had to fix it.
“Let her have fun tonight,” Sky advised and then executed a smooth dance move that pulled his concentration off of Ashni, who was laughing at the bar with the Wilders.
“I want her to have fun,” he said. “I just want it to be with me.”
“Maybe she wants to be appreciated. Wooed.” Sky executed a few more spin moves that should have been his to direct. “Eyes on me, cowboy.”
“Sorry.” He spun Sky around and they switched directions to execute another spin before moving around the floor again. She was light on her feet and easy to dance with, but he’d never felt less like dancing.
Was Ashni going to actually shoot whiskey?
He wanted to see that. And taste her lips after.
Luke and the other Wilder seemed to be encouraging her to try it. They each had shots in their hands now. Bodhi, leaning against the bar with the woman he’d corralled, also seemed to be talking his current conquest through the art of the whiskey shot. Kane Wilder strode through Grey’s double doors. His gaze lit on his wife, and then he joined his brothers.
Perfect. Beck’s squiring duties would surely be over. But just as the song ended, Ash did the shot, tipping her head back, exposing her graceful throat and pronounced collarbone that he loved to butterfly kiss as he undressed her. He was captivated. She’d cast a spell over him since he’d first seen her through the glass section of the high school music room door. Ash held her arms up in victory and laughed. She looked so vibrant in the historic bar. Alive. She hopped off the barstool and stomped her feet a few times.
“That was fire,” she called out.
And he wanted to burn with her. Beck turned Sky toward the bar just as another song kicked in. Ash smiled and took Kane’s hand as he led her onto the dance floor.
“Stuck with me.” Sky laughed at his dilemma.
“What do you say we kick it up a notch?”
“You lead.” Her lips tipped up in a smile. “That would require you paying attention.”
“I can focus when I need to.”
Sky looked over at her husband, smiled, and winked. He tipped his hat to her.
Beck loved to dance. But he rarely partnered anyone other than Ashni. It was strange and arousing to watch her move around the floor, grace, confidence with a little attitude. Kane smiled and chatted even as he maneuvered her through some showy turns. Beck got creative with Sky, and she seemed delighted, laughing when he rolled her across his back and then swung her around his front without missing a beat.
“You do have moves,” she said. “When you need to play.”
“Not everything’s a game.”
Like Bodhi’s Rodeo Bride Game. How would that end in anything but disaster?
Bowen hadn’t returned from the Graff.
Bodhi was still at the bar with the woman, now demonstrating the basic two-step, his hands light but definitely on her body as he guided her in place through the moves.
Were his cousins really going to go through with something so outrageous? And why had he jumped into the game instead of sitting on the sidelines for once? Everything inside of him shouted out a big fat no to that idea. But Granddad’s happiness was on the line. And how would he persuade Ashni to play along when she was already upset with him?
The engagement would have to be real.
His breath seized in his lungs.
It wasn’t as if everyone hadn’t been expecting them to marry since they’d graduated college. But the revolving door of his mother’s husbands during his childhood had been dizzying, and after his father moved on and started a new family, cutting Beck out of his life, and the first stepfather walked out after two years, Beck hadn’t bothered getting to know any of the others or his bio dad.
He didn’t want to be that man.
But he was going to have to go down on one knee in a far more public and showy proposal than would be to his liking, now that he’d egged his cousins on and upped the stakes.
And Ash would say yes. She’d been hinting at marriage for a while now. She’d asked him straight out last Christmas, and he’d barely dodged her question with a mumbled something followed by a lust-driven assault on her body to distract both her and him.
She’d be hurt if she thought he was playing a game—once again trying to outdo his cousins.
So it would be real. He tried to swallow the panic that scratched his throat, like he’d swallowed a Brillo pad.
“You look like you’re doing calculus in your head.”
“Kinda feels like,” he admitted.
“I’ll be rooting for you during the roping games,” Sky stood on tiptoes and whispered. “Now go kiss and make up. You have my approval to woo my new friend.”
“Kane’s got his hands full.”
Sky curtsied. “That’s how he likes it.”
Beck turned to Ash, his heart feeling like it would hop out of his chest. He hadn’t been this nervous to ask her to dance since freshman year of high school. He swept off his hat.
“Ma’am, may I have the next dance?”
Ashni hesitated, biting down hard on her full, pouty lower lip, and Beck’s heart felt like it skipped a beat. “Please,” he added.
The music started up. Beck didn’t recognize the song, but it didn’t matter. As long as he could hold Ash in his arms, nothing else mattered.
“Please,” he repeated and held out his hand. Ashni watched her friends dance off. Her shoulders dropped and alarm skittered through him.
“Whatever’s wrong, we can fix it,” he promised.
“I don’t think you can, Beck,” she said softly, but still she allowed him to reel her into his arms, and he sighed into her beautifully silky hair that she’d left loose tonight.
He could, he vowed to himself. He would.
*
“Can I take you home?” Beck asked when they’d sat down after several more dances.
Ashni didn’t know what to say. ‘Yes’ seemed obvious. Beck had been walking or driving her home for years. But tonight, she wasn’t sure.
Their relationship wasn’t working anymore—not for her and maybe not for him. And tonight, after such an emotional day, and the finals and long drive for him, didn’t seem like the ideal time to hash it out.
But leaving him hanging didn’t seem fair either.
“Yes,” she said. “But first let me check in with Sky to make plans for tomorrow.”
“Sure,” he said and helped her with her cropped denim jacket. He lightly cupped her petal-soft cheek with his work-roughened palm.
“You look beautiful tonight. Even more luminous than usual,” he said.
“Thank you,” she said, trying to ignore the feelings bombarding her.
“Why does that make you sad?”
A million reasons.
He bent to kiss her, but she slid off the barstool and turned to Sky. Her heart rate shimmered like a hummingbird in her chest.
Beck’s naked admiration had always made her feel like she could fly. Now she felt trapped in a cage of her own making.
“I’m going to head out. Beck will walk me back to Walker and Calum’s.”
Sky nodded. “Have fun.”
“No. Not that,” she said quickly. “But I do need to talk to him. Try to explain.”
Guilt swamped her. She’d confessed more to Sky today than she had to Beck. He was her confidant. And Reeva, who was now married and making a new life. More proof that she needed to create her own new life with work she loved, a home and friends.
“Keep the ball in play,” Sky advised. “How about we meet at Main Street Diner at noon, and then review your plan for Harry’s House. You can get set up after. I’ll help. The kids won’t come until three thirty or four.”
Ashni nodded. Feeling oddly nervous and anxious, Ashni waved and headed out of Grey’s. Beck, tall and determined, paced alongside her.
They needed to talk. She only wished she knew exactly what she wanted to say.