If the fact that he was Zetithian, as opposed to human, was the only reason for Sara’s apparent disinterest, Jerden could’ve lived with that. But he had a sneaking suspicion there was more to it. He was humanoid enough to feel an attraction to Terran women—Audrey was a perfect example—so why was it that Sara paid him no more notice than she did Reutal?
It was none of his business what she did or how she felt, but the need to know more hounded him. Revising his intent to leave her alone, he decided to stick around a while longer to see if he could come up with any clues as to the reason for her peculiar reaction—or lack thereof.
While Cria sat in the corner grooming herself, Jerden did everything he could think of to help Sara clean up after the others left for the stables, even to the point of mopping the kitchen floor. Unfortunately, she wasn’t very talkative. Aside from a couple of mystified glances in his direction, she seemed determined to ignore his presence. It wasn’t until he offered to change the sheets on her bed that he finally got a rise out of her.
“You don’t need to do that,” she said quickly. “I’ll do it later.”
Since almost the first thing she’d asked him was if he was well enough to go home, she clearly wanted him to get lost, but he simply didn’t want to go. Not yet. “I feel like I should do something for you, Sara. I haven’t thanked you properly for taking me in. I must’ve put you to a lot of trouble.”
“No trouble at all.” A touch of anxiety colored her voice. “Really. It was nothing.”
“Well, thank you anyway—and thanks for breakfast. It was delicious.”
Her shrug was almost a shudder. “Nothing special. As you can see, I’m used to feeding a crowd.”
“They’re an interesting bunch.” Jerden leaned back against the counter while she rinsed the last of the dishes. “It’s nice to see you don’t have anything against hiring an assortment of different species.”
She paused, eyeing him curiously. “The way the nonhumans outnumber Terrans on this world, nobody can afford to be choosy, or to have any prejudices. Granted, there aren’t many Norludians or Rutarans around, but variety is the sort of thing immigrants have to expect.” Her eyes narrowed sharply. “Are you suggesting that I am prejudiced against them, or that I should be?”
“No. I’m just trying to understand why you left Earth to begin with. Seems an odd thing for a single woman to do—leaving home and family to live here among so many different aliens. Makes finding a mate difficult, doesn’t it?”
He thought she hesitated. “I liked the idea of being among the first to bring horses to Terra Minor.”
“That’s it?” He wasn’t sure he believed her explanation. It seemed inadequate somehow, not completely answering his question.
“Isn’t that enough?”
Jerden shook his head. “My homeworld was a beautiful place. If it still existed, I would never have left it to come here.” He was well aware that many planets fell far short of paradise, but he’d never heard that Earth was one of them. He’d been raised on the idea that it was as near perfect as a world could be. “And there are plenty of horses on Earth. Didn’t you like it there?”
She put the last of the plates in the rack to dry. “I liked it just fine, but land like this is hard to come by anymore—at least in my price range. As an established horse breeder and trainer, I got an incredibly good deal on the land here—part of the push for cultural improvements that started up a few years back. There are incentives for artists, craftsmen, and musicians, too.”
“Yes, but space travel isn’t cheap. Nor is importing horses from halfway across the galaxy.”
“True.”
When she didn’t elaborate, Jerden knew he should shut up and go home, but the need to understand her was overwhelming—baffling, perhaps, but undeniable. He tried to imagine all the reasons a woman would do what she’d done and couldn’t come up with any that made sense. “Sure you weren’t trying to escape from something? Or, perhaps… someone?”
A flicker of emotion crossed her features. “Escape? To Terra Minor?” Her short, mirthless laugh was heavy with sarcasm. “With the immigration regulations as tough as they are, I’m pretty sure I’d never have made it this far if I was on the run from the law.”
Frowning, he shook his head. “I didn’t mean to imply that you’d broken a law. In fact, you strike me as being law-abiding in the extreme. You didn’t come here to be with family, did you?”
“No. Nor was I trying to get away from them.” She took a step back, the tight line of her lips displaying her annoyance. “I don’t understand why any of this matters to you. Look, I said you could come over and ride Danuban whenever you liked. If I’d known you were going to—” she paused as though searching for the right word, “interrogate me about my lifestyle choices, I wouldn’t have made the offer.”
“You could have sold me that horse and chances are I’d have never darkened your door again. Instead, you refused to sell, preferring to keep him.” Jerden didn’t have to look in the mirror to know he was the sort of man most women found attractive. Drania’s reaction was fairly typical. How Sara could be so… uncaring that such a man was standing in her kitchen, completely naked, was driving him nuts. “Did you want to keep me, too?”
Her eyes flashed with anger. “No, I didn’t. In fact, I’d appreciate it if you’d get the hell out of my house and leave me alone!”
He took a step toward her. “Are you sure that’s what you want me to do?”
The color drained from her face. Jerden couldn’t tell if it was because of what he’d said or his nearness. One thing he knew for certain, she was feeling no desire whatsoever.
“If you think you can frighten me into selling you my stallion, you’ve got another think coming. I will not be intimidated by you or anyone else.”
“I’m not trying to scare you, Sara,” Jerden said gently. “I’m just trying to understand you.”
“You don’t need to understand me. It’s not important.”
“It is to me. Don’t ask me why, but it is.”
“There’s nothing to understand,” she insisted. “I raise horses and roses. That’s all you need to know.”
“I find that hard to believe. There’s more to you than that. I can feel it.”
Her brow rose in a skeptical arch. “What about you? Why don’t you tell me more about yourself? Until today, you’ve probably only said ten words to me. Now that you’ve mysteriously collapsed on my porch, spent two nights in my bed, and had breakfast in my house, you want me to tell you my deepest secrets? It hardly seems fair.”
“Maybe so, but I’m still curious. Tell me your secrets, Sara. I’d be willing to bet I’ll understand exactly how you feel.”
She stood gaping at him for a moment. She obviously didn’t believe him, but for a second there, he thought she might actually break down and confide in him. Instead, she picked up a dish towel and dried her hands. “I haven’t got any secrets. You want to know why I’m living out here all alone? Because I like it. I like not having anyone trying to run my life, bullying me into doing stuff I don’t want to do, and questioning every decision I make.” She stopped and took a deep breath. “You know something else? I liked you a whole lot better when you weren’t quite so nosy. You’re starting to remind me of Nate.”
Assuming that Nate was the man he’d seen when he’d ridden into her barn, he couldn’t help but grin. “Oh, I hope not. You probably won’t believe it, but if I’m nosy, it’s because I’m in a lot better shape now than I was just a few days ago. Still kinda fucked up, but better.”
“I’m glad to hear it,” she said bluntly. “Now, do me a favor and go home.”
He put up a hand. “Really, Sara. I didn’t mean to upset you. I’m just… intrigued.”
“Why? Because I’m not drooling all over you the way Drania does? Because I’m not begging you to stay?”
“Partly. And partly because you smell so… neutral.”
“Neutral? What the devil does that mean?”
“I mean, you don’t want me. And you should. It’s… bizarre. I’ve never encountered a neutral female scent before. There should be an underlying scent of desire, even if you don’t particularly like me. I smell it on every human female I’ve ever met—and not all of them were my clients. I don’t mean to sound cocky or conceited; I’m just trying to understand.”
“Well, don’t bother. It is what it is. Get over it.”
“What if I don’t want to?”
“That’s your choice. Just leave me out of it.” She was still looking at him but carefully avoiding his eyes.
“Someone really got to you, didn’t they?”
Her chin went up. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
He edged closer. She stepped back. “You see? You can deny it, but it’s so ingrained, so automatic, you don’t even notice it.” He shook his head sadly. “I bet I could kiss you, and your scent still wouldn’t change.”
Jerden was wrong about that, but he didn’t need her scent to gauge her emotions, nor did he need to kiss her. The look in her eyes was quite enough. She was absolutely terrified.
“You have no need to fear me, Sara. I won’t hurt you. I can promise you that.” Cocking his head to one side, he attempted to recapture her gaze. He was only able to hold it for an instant before she glanced away again. “But someone else did.”
Her voice came out as a rough whisper. “Please go away.”
He studied her face for a long moment, then nodded. “I will. But I won’t go far. You gave me help when I needed it. I’ll do the same for you. Anytime. Remember that.”
Without another word, Jerden turned and walked out the back door, the leopard following silently in his wake. Sara grappled with her emotions, desperately fighting to regain the control she’d lost. Stumbling to the table, she sat down, reaching for her cup. She was thankful that the tea was still hot, because she was freezing. Cold chills permeated her body; her hands and feet were like ice, and shivers racked her limbs.
How had he broken through her defenses so easily? If only she’d been able to ignore his nearness and the fact that he read her so clearly. Then she wouldn’t feel as though he’d seen her more than just naked, wouldn’t feel as though he’d examined her soul.
The clatter of hoofbeats sounded from the stable yard. So, he’d opted to ride home, rather than walk. She couldn’t fault him for that and only wondered if the horse would come back without him.
That thought hung suspended in space—not quite a wish, but not quite a hope, either. Did she want the stud to come back alone? Or did she want to see him come galloping across the field with the Zetithian astride him? If she sold Danuban to Jerden, would he truly never darken her door again? Would it be worth it? Would she regret the loss of one? Or both?
No, she decided. She was not giving up the one simply to rid herself of the other. She’d worked long and hard for that horse. Giving up was not an option. Considering Danuban’s affinity for Jerden, sharing the stallion was the only practical solution. The trick would be spending time in Jerden’s company without losing control again. Perhaps she’d get better with it in time.
Or perhaps I’d find I don’t need that control. Jerden had promised she had nothing to fear from him and that he would never hurt her. Trust was the issue. If she trusted him, she needn’t fear him.
He trusted me. When he was sick, he’d come to her, landing on her doorstep, undoubtedly knowing he would be unconscious for days. He’d been completely helpless, yet had surrendered himself to her care. She would’ve had a very hard time doing that herself. Fortunately, she hadn’t needed anyone’s help very often, and certainly not to that extent. Rarely ill, she had seldom been injured—not that working with horses didn’t carry with it an inherent risk.
As she sipped her tea, her nerves began to settle. It seemed that Jerden would’ve liked to be a calming influence on her, yet he was the one thing that disturbed her the most. Nate was simply annoying. She could brush him off and ignore him without too much trouble. Jerden was a different story.
It was difficult to admit, even to herself, but she liked him. He’d fit in well with the others; their conversation had even made her laugh. He’d laughed too. She liked the sound of it—even liked the way he looked when he smiled. Funny, when he’s not here, I like him just fine.
“You’re being silly, Sara.” Her voice was stronger now, and her heartbeat had returned to a normal pace. For a moment or two, it had hammered so hard and fast she’d felt almost faint. He’d been too close. When their eyes met in laughter, she’d felt the kind of camaraderie she’d never experienced with a man whom she actually saw as a man. As a rule, she got along well with Reutal and could laugh along with him, even though he was a male and always ready with a suggestive remark. He was easily tolerated. She wasn’t sure what the difference was.
No, the difference was quite simple: Norludians were unattractive. Zetithians were gorgeous. Period. The one she took seriously; the other, she didn’t.
Had he actually offered to kiss her? Mentally reviewing what he’d said, she couldn’t say for certain, but the idea was exciting, if somewhat disturbing. “Better get a grip, Sara. He sure as hell won’t kiss you now.”
Swallowing the last of her tea, she got up and headed out to the barn. It was going to be a very long day. Best to get started and get it over with.
***
Drania was turning the yearlings out in the south pasture when Sara stepped out onto the porch. She felt a thrill, just as she would watching any herd of horses, as they galloped up the hill. Danuban and Jerden were nowhere in sight.
“I am not looking for him,” she muttered. If she told herself that enough, she might actually start believing it. Bonnie was right. Jerden on a horse was definitely a sight worth seeing, if only for the novelty. If nothing else, she’d like to know his secret for riding as well as he did without the benefit of clothing or tack.
Arriving at the barn, she took Yusuf out of his stall and cross-tied him in the aisle. After a quick grooming session, she saddled him up and headed out to the arena. The dark gray Arab was nearly four years old and had shown promise from birth. Unfortunately, he’d been a bit of a behavior problem, or she would never have gelded him. She had to remind herself from time to time that not every horse of hers had significant breeding potential, but it bugged her to rule out the possibility.
Still, most buyers of riding horses wanted geldings. They had the power of the male without the aggressiveness of a stud or the moodiness of a mare. But they weren’t without personality. Some were more willing than others. Some, like Yusuf, were simply a little crazy.
With all the exuberance of youth, he fidgeted with the bit, wanting to run. Sara had worked hard trying to get him to relax and had finally managed to get him to canter from the walk—and on the correct lead—when the day really turned sour. She glanced up to see Nate Wolmack at the far end of the arena, his muscular arms draped over the top rail.
Squinting against the sun while the breeze ruffled his blond locks, he nodded when he caught her eye. “That’s some pretty fancy riding, Sara.”
Yeah, right. “Thanks.”
“Heard that Zetithian was here again. Conked out in your bed too.”
Sara gritted her teeth in annoyance. “He was sick, but he’s better now. He went home this morning.”
“Sick, huh?” Nate snorted his skepticism. “I wouldn’t have thought that bastard would have to use such a weak ploy to get into a woman’s bed.”
Sara had been riding toward Nate, but after his irritating comment, she asked Yusuf for a quick turn on the haunches and headed back in the other direction. He wants fancy riding, he’ll get fancy riding.
Unfortunately, that was the extent of Yusuf’s cooperation for the day. He flat-out refused to canter on the opposite lead and gave a little kick to prove it. Sara tried again. One more kick. Settling for a shoulder-out at the trot, she nudged him into a leg yield, which he actually performed correctly, moving sideways as well as forward across the arena. Reaching the corner, she asked for a collected trot on the short end and then an extended trot as they turned down the long side. Yusuf, for once, gave it his all. Guess I just have to be pissed at Nate to get him to behave.
She collected the trot again as she approached Nate, opting for a shoulder-in so she didn’t have to look at him, but switched to a shoulder-out as another thought occurred to her. “How did you know he was here?”
Nate shrugged as she and Yusuf swept past. “I dunno. You know how it is. Word gets around.”
Sara couldn’t imagine any of those people she’d actually told about Jerden’s “visit” spreading the word—much less telling Nate. Had he been spying on her? Her annoyance level tripled, spiced with a healthy measure of fear. The mere thought of Nate watching her made her nape prickle and her stomach twist into knots. Don’t draw undue attention to it, Sara. Just let it drop. Good advice if only she could follow it.
She found herself wishing Jerden had stayed. A naked man coming out her door right about now should have been enough to convince Nate that he’d been outgunned. Sara pressed her lips together, suppressing a giggle. She’d never seen Nate’s dick, but she was willing to bet that Jerden’s would put it to shame.
Oh, God. Now I’m thinking like a Norludian! She glanced at her watch. Yusuf’s workout had gone on long enough. She had other horses that needed riding. Dropping the reins, she let him stretch his neck and walk to cool down a bit. “Well, like I said. He went home this morning. No biggie.”
Nate grimaced. “You start letting him hang around all the time and people will talk.”
Why this could possibly matter to anyone was beyond Sara’s comprehension. “What, you think having Jerden drop by now and then will keep anyone from buying horses from me?”
“Maybe not, but you know how it is. People like to gossip.”
At the moment, the only one guilty of gossiping was Nate himself, but Sara chose not to point that out to him. “So?”
“So, some men might get the idea that they can spend the night with you anytime they want.”
She burst out laughing. “I doubt it. And just in case you’re wondering—though it’s really none of your business—he might have been in my bed, but he was unconscious the whole time. He only woke up this morning. Then he had breakfast and went home.” She thought it best not to mention that he’d mopped the floor. “Don’t make such a big deal out of it.”
“I’m only thinking of your reputation. I wouldn’t want to see it ruined.”
“My reputation? You sound like something straight out of the Dark Ages. What about you? Won’t people talk because you’ve been hanging around?”
“That’s different. You and I share a common interest. We’re both horse breeders.”
“And Jerden is my closest neighbor.” At the moment, she wished he was more than that. Perhaps she should claim to be Jerden’s lover. At least it might get Nate off her back—might even get Bonnie to stop trying to play matchmaker. Bonnie had been subtle about it, but this wasn’t the first time someone had tried to fix Sara up with a man. She knew the signs all too well.
Then it occurred to her that if she and Jerden pretended to be romantically involved, it might satisfy all of those who wanted them to get together and also eliminate the pestering attentions of those who were trying to nab Jerden as a husband. Sara only had Nate to avoid, but Jerden had captured the fancy of quite a few ladies in the region, not the least of whom was Salan. Just because he didn’t get out much didn’t mean the local women didn’t know there was an unattached Zetithian living in the neighborhood. The gossip grapevine being what it was, they were bound to get wind of his recovery, too. Ulla probably wasn’t the only female visitor he’d had—especially since he rarely seemed to bother getting dressed.
As she dismounted and headed toward the gate, Nate walked toward her, setting off the usual cold tightness in her chest, the worst she’d ever experienced. Suddenly, she wanted nothing more than to have Jerden near her—somehow she had an idea that his solid warmth would banish the chill that now permeated her being. Odd that she hadn’t felt that way when he’d actually been there.
Perhaps it was Jerden’s reassurance that she had nothing to fear from him that made the difference. And, stupid me, I insisted that he leave. Jerden would be more than a match for Nate. He could get rid of Nate for her. Then she realized what the difference was between the two men. When Nate was there, she felt the need for Jerden’s… protection. But she certainly didn’t want Nate when Jerden was around.
Oh, God, why does it have to be one or the other? Can’t they both just leave me be?
Unlatching the gate, she led Yusuf out of the arena, intending to head straight for the barn. Zatlen would have the next horse ready for her, which meant that she wouldn’t be alone with Nate. She also considered yelling for Reutal and Drania. Reutal’s comments always irritated Nate. No, she didn’t need Jerden. She could handle this situation. She’d managed it before. She could do it again.
Unfortunately, Nate was a little too quick for her and now stood between her and the barn. “I might be your closest neighbor soon.” His eyes raked up and down her body, intensifying the numbing cold in her heart. “I’ve got an offer in for the land behind your farm. Between the two of us we could have quite a spread.”
“What makes you think I’d go into business with you? I’m perfectly happy with what I’ve got here.”
“I’m not looking for a purely business partnership, Sara.” He took a step closer. “I think we could be very happy together. I’d like the opportunity to prove it to you.”
At that moment, he went from being simply annoying to downright frightening. He’d never been quite that close or quite so blatant, and her experience with Jerden had her feeling more vulnerable than usual. Sara’s knees began to wobble, and Yusuf chose that particular moment to give her a nudge from behind, sending her staggering toward Nate. He caught her in his arms. “You see? Even that horse thinks we should be together.”
A scream bubbled up from her lungs but caught in her throat as Nate bent his head toward her. As his breath touched her face, her vision darkened and a buzzing sound filled her ears. In another moment, his lips covered hers, his tongue demanding entry. She struggled in his grasp, somehow finding the strength to push him away. Or attempted to. Sara was a strong woman, but Nate was taller and significantly stronger. His hand gripped the back of her head, holding her while he ravaged her mouth with his kiss. Growing weaker by the second, she heard the roar of distant thunder as her consciousness slipped away.