Bonnie’s cookies were better than a dose of truth serum. In short order, Sara had related the events of the previous day, plus the details of Nate’s late night visit.
“Whether he wants your land and horses—or you—doesn’t matter anymore,” Bonnie said. “Nate already sees Jerden as a rival, and I’m not sure he’ll believe your ruse any more than I did. Chances are, he’ll get even more persistent. Whether you’re pretending or not, Jerden is some pretty serious competition. I mean, I know which one I’d choose.”
Oddly enough, Sara would have chosen Jerden too, but for an entirely different reason. Not only was he currently incapable of sexual relations—something Sara saw as a definite plus—he also had an excellent rapport with Danuban. And if Jerden needed the scent of a woman’s desire in order to recover his sexual abilities, well, he certainly wasn’t going to get it from Sara. Though she found some comfort in that, she doubted he would see it in quite the same light.
The back door flew open and Karsyn came racing into the kitchen. “Oh, Sara, we had so much fun!” Sighing, she further expressed herself with a reasonably well executed pirouette. “I simply adore horses.”
Bonnie shook her head, covering a smile as Karsyn danced her way into the next room. “She can be so… theatrical sometimes. Don’t know where she gets it.”
While Bonnie enjoyed a good chuckle, Sara glanced toward the door, taking Karsyn’s arrival as her cue. “I guess I’d better collect Akira from Ulla and head on home.”
Bonnie nodded. “She’d probably stay out there with him all day if you let her, but I’m sure you’ve got things to do.” Sara did her best to ignore Bonnie’s pointed look. No way was she going to go galloping after Jerden like some lovesick idiot. He was probably already halfway home by now.
“Yeah, gotta fix lunch for the gang.” She got up from the table. “Thanks for the cookies, and for listening.”
“Maybe someday you’ll tell me the rest of the story.”
Sara shrugged. “I doubt it. Even if I did, it wouldn’t change anything.”
“You might be surprised. Just remember, I’m always here to lend an ear if you need one.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
Since she hadn’t come back in the house with Karsyn, Sara expected to see Ulla sitting on the porch holding Akira’s reins, or perhaps walking him around in the yard. No such luck. Jerden was waiting with both horses, Ulla apparently having gone off to do something else. Cria was curled up on the porch but rose to her feet as Sara came out the door.
Still mounted on Danuban, Jerden tossed her the reins. “I thought maybe we could ride back together.”
Using the porch steps as a mounting block, Sara swung up into the saddle, wondering when she was ever going to stop having chest pain every time she looked at Jerden. She focused her eyes on Akira’s ears and waited for it to pass. About the only advantage to riding home with him was that he’d be there if Nate were to come trotting up on one of his scrubby little horses and tried to put the moves on her again.
“Might as well,” she replied. Then she remembered all the research she’d done the previous evening before Nate had interrupted her. With horse-hunting and barn-building as topics, she shouldn’t have to worry about the conversation getting too personal. “I went online last night and found some nice-looking Friesians for sale. They’re pretty pricey, though. Want to take a look?”
“Sure. I’d also like to see more of the things this horse has been trained to do.” He ruffled Danuban’s mane and gave him a pat as they started off. “You kinda got my curiosity going with everything you were telling the girls.”
“Most people think it’s pretty cool when they see those movements performed. Not many know how to ride them, though, including myself. About the best I can do is to show you some pictures and videos.”
“Sounds good. I’m sure you’ll be busy the rest of the afternoon. How about if I come over later tonight, maybe after dinner?”
After dinner? She was about to refuse when she realized that Jerden’s presence was the perfect insurance against another visit from Nate. They wouldn’t have to do any pretending, either. They’d simply be two friends getting together to talk about horses.
She was still coming to grips with the mind-boggling idea that she could actually be friends with a man. But were they more than friends already? The memory of him lying in bed with her the previous morning came rushing back. He’d been purring and had even given her a couple of hugs and kisses.
Then there was the excursion to Nimbaza—the way he’d touched her, walked arm in arm with her, and told her she looked like a queen when she tried on that dress. Of course, it had all been for show…
Holy shit.
They’d been alone in that dressing room. No one else could’ve heard him, which meant it hadn’t been part of the performance. He must’ve truly meant it.
And after he’d seen that Davordian woman, he’d shared something with her that he claimed not to have shared with anyone else. No one was around to hear that, either.
Maybe we really are friends.
***
Noting her stunned expression, Jerden waited patiently while Sara wrestled with her reply. He knew he’d backed her into a corner of sorts, and was on the brink of withdrawing the suggestion when she finally spoke.
“Sounds good.”
“Great! I’ll be there around seven, then.” Not too early, not too late.
She nodded her assent, but that touch of reserve was still there. She’d seemed much better the day before—at least, until the ride home. She’d been as quiet then as she was now…
Deciding it was best not to push her any further, he said nothing more, allowing her to ride on in silence. The day was clear and warm, and they let the horses walk most of the way. Cria followed close behind, and Jerden did his best to keep quiet and enjoy the scenery.
They followed the main road, which ran past Bonnie’s farm and the dairy, then skirted Sara’s property for a time before taking a turn to the west to avoid the mountains. Beyond that point, the road to Jerden’s place dwindled to little more than a path, becoming almost nonexistent where his land began and hers ended. Understanding his need for solitude, Lynx had suggested the lake property as the most remote place available. Now that Jerden had spent more time with Sara, the remote aspect seemed less important, and he was able appreciate it more for its beauty.
They were passing by the gently rolling acres of the dairy farm owned by Salan’s father when Sara finally broke the silence. “Karsyn seemed to have had a good time riding. You should have seen her dancing through the kitchen.”
Jerden chuckled warmly. “She’s something else, isn’t she?”
“Uh-huh. She’s really looking forward to your party. Said she gets to eat hamburgers and swim in the lake.”
Jerden was thankful that Sara had managed to come up with what she apparently considered to be a neutral topic—unless she was intending to back out on him. “You’re still planning to be there, aren’t you?”
Her slight hesitation told him he’d been correct. “I suppose so, but do I really have to be your hostess?”
“No, but I could use your help.” Jerden had yet to have a woman turn down an appeal like that. Knowing Sara, she’d probably be the first, so he backed it up with a little extra incentive. Rubbing his chin in a contemplative manner, he threw in the clincher. “Remember, the more time we spend to together, the less you’ll have to deal with Nate.”
Sara blew out a pent-up breath. “I sure wish you’d come home with me last night.”
Jerden would’ve dropped his teeth if they hadn’t been firmly attached to his jaw. “Why, Sara, I had no idea…”
“It’s not what you think. Nate came over to apologize.”
“Judging from the way you’re gritting your teeth, I’d have to say you didn’t appreciate his visit.”
“Or his timing. I was up pretty late. I doubt if any of the gang even heard him.”
“You didn’t let him in, did you?”
“Hell, no! I locked the door and told the stupid shithead to go away.”
Jerden couldn’t contain his laughter. “You’re starting to make a habit of that.”
She all but snarled at him. “I didn’t lock you out.”
“No, I had the good sense to leave when you told me to.” Figuring he had very little to lose at this point, he tossed out another lure. “I guess I could’ve stayed with you last night. I mean, if I’d been there, he would’ve felt pretty stupid.”
Sara never missed a beat, skipping right past the suggestion that he would’ve spent the night if she’d asked him to. “Yeah, well, you weren’t, so it’s a moot point. Obviously he didn’t get the memo that you’re supposed to be my new boyfriend.”
“I take it you didn’t tell him.”
“To be honest, I thought it would make matters worse. He was already saying some not-so-nice things about you.”
“He didn’t threaten you, did he?”
“No, but he scared the hell out of me, especially after what happened yesterday. I was about to call the Trackers on him—and I would have if he hadn’t left when he did.”
Jerden had been angry enough when Nate had forced his attentions on her, but his blood was really boiling now. Trying to kiss her was one thing, harassing her when she was alone late at night was something else. “Obviously I should’ve beaten the shit out of him when I had the chance. He didn’t try to break in, did he?”
“Sort of. I’d already locked the door, but he did jiggle the knob. He was pretty angry. To tell you the truth, I thought he might try to force his way in.” She shivered. “I still don’t understand what’s gotten into him lately. I mean, has he gone crazy or what?”
Jerden hated to admit it, but he suspected it was more due to his own presence in the neighborhood than any insanity on Nate’s part. “Males of every species have a tendency to be territorial. Nate probably sees me as an intruder on what he considers to be his turf.”
Sara nodded. “Bonnie said something similar, but I still don’t know why he’d think that. I’ve never encouraged him. Ever.” She paused, clenching her teeth. “I’m usually not up that late, but I was in the living room and the lights were on. The door was unlocked—hell, it’s always unlocked! I can’t help wondering what he would’ve done if I’d been asleep. He could’ve just opened the door and come right on in. I guess Reutal would’ve heard me if I’d screamed.”
Jerden had heard enough. “That does it,” he growled. “I’m not leaving you alone again.”
“Don’t be silly. You can’t be with me all the time.”
“I could if we were married,” Jerden said bluntly. “I’d never leave your side.”
This proposal was too blatant for even Sara to ignore. However, the only indication that she grasped his meaning was a tiny little choke, from which she recovered quickly. “Nonsense. Even married people aren’t together all the time. They’d drive each other crazy.”
He summoned up his best lady-killer smile and aimed it right at her. “Prove it.”
“What?”
“Marry me and try to drive me crazy.”
She glanced at him with a derisive arch to her brow. “That doesn’t sound too hard. You’re halfway there already—maybe even closer than that, come to think of it.”
Jerden wasn’t sure where the idea had come from—a moment before, he’d have counted himself lucky to be able to hold her hand—but like most of his better notions, this one had come to him straight out of the blue. “Trust me, I’m not insane—and I’ve been there, so I know what I’m talking about. If you’ll just take a minute to consider the idea without whatever it is about men that you can’t stand getting in the way, you’ll see that it’s the perfect solution to your problem.”
“Which problem? How to drive you crazy?”
“No, how to keep Nate from harassing you anymore—and you can do that by marrying me.” Jerden took full advantage of her speechless state and continued to blast away her resistance. “You can think of it as a marriage of convenience if you like. If your complaint about men is that you have to have sex with them, you won’t have to worry because my dick doesn’t work, and with your scent stuck in neutral, it never will. You’ll get a full-time bodyguard and Bonnie won’t try to fix you up with every new guy that comes along.”
Her eyes narrowed in suspicion. “What’s in it for you?”
“I won’t have every Zetithian-hungry girl in the quadrant chasing after my hot little ass, and you and I won’t have to fight over who gets to keep this horse.” He grinned. “And I’d have the perfect excuse to mop up the floor with Nate if he ever bothers you again.”
She stared at him for the space of about ten heartbeats and then let out a shaky laugh. “You really are crazy, aren’t you?”
At least she’s laughing. Jerden had never been quite so blunt with a woman before and couldn’t have predicted how well it would work. Sara was different, though. There was a good chance it had been the right tactic. “Outrageous perhaps, but not crazy.”
“Sounds like a match made in heaven.”
It wasn’t a definite yes, and her dry tone held a dash of sarcasm. Wait for it…
She frowned, biting her lower lip in a manner that was both innocent and sensuous. Jerden held his breath. “No sex?”
“Not unless you want it, and believe me, I’ll be able to tell if you do.”
She nodded slowly, staring straight ahead. “You’re right about that being part of the problem. There are other things, though. Things that still hurt.” Her voice dropped to a whisper. “Things I don’t even like to think about.”
“I won’t hurt you, Sara. I’ve told you that before. And if I ever do, whether it’s intentional or not, you can slap the shit out of me. In fact, I insist on it.”
She turned to face him then, only the barest hint of a smile indicating that she’d heard him. In another instant, it was gone. “Don’t lie to me.”
“I’m not lying. I’m perfectly serious.”
“I know. I mean ever.”
So, trust is the issue. “I won’t lie.” Starting right now… “But I do have two requests. Physical contact is not only natural for Zetithians, it’s essential to our well-being. I need to be able to touch you, hold you, even kiss you. Yesterday, when I picked you up and carried you into the house, I realized that, along with something else.” Pausing for a deep breath, he took the plunge. “I’ve never loved anyone and no one has ever loved me. I want to experience that before I die. Don’t refuse to let it happen between us.”
She chewed her lip thoughtfully, then shook her head. “That doesn’t sound like a marriage of convenience.”
“Actually, it’s the most convenient marriage of all. If and when we do fall in love—or even make love—we’ll already be married.”
“But what if only one of us falls in love? That would be worse than never loving each other at all.”
Jerden knew he was the only one who would suffer in that event. But if he told her now, she’d never believe him. “That’s the chance we have to take.”
She nodded. “True. We could be making a terrible mistake, though.”
“It doesn’t have to be permanent, Sara. If it becomes unbearable, we can end it.” He nudged Danuban and the stallion obligingly stepped sideways, moving close enough to Sara that their knees touched. Reaching out, he placed his hand over hers, surprised at how cold it felt. “But I don’t think that’s how this will turn out. Promise me you’ll at least think about it.”
Sara snorted a laugh. “How could I not think about it? It’s not like I get proposed to every day of the week.”
He couldn’t help smiling at her jest, although, in his opinion, it ought to have been the truth. “Is that what it’ll take? Proposing to you every day? If so, I think I can handle that.”
She shot him an exasperated look. “No need for that. I do appreciate the offer, and I have to admit, I thought pretending to be interested in each other was a good idea—at least until I talked to Bonnie this morning. She didn’t believe a word of it.”
“I wondered about that. She never admitted it, but I had my suspicions.”
“She said she wanted to hear my side of the story before she said anything to you, especially since I was the one who was acting so out of character.” She shook her head. “I don’t know about getting married, though. Seems kinda drastic.”
“It might take something drastic to eliminate both of our problems, especially yours. I doubt if Salan would be as persistent as Nate, but if you like, we could just keep on saying we were dating.”
“Which means we’d actually have to go on a date.” She paused chewing on the thumb of her riding glove. “Somewhere public…”
Jerden chuckled as he thought of all the women who’d begged to go out to dinner with him, and here Sara was acting as though it was some kind of penance. “You don’t have to make it sound like such a chore.”
This time she actually seemed amused when she laughed. “It’s not a chore. I’m just trying to decide what sort of date it should be. I…” She broke off there, her expression one of confusion mixed with a trace of embarrassment. She drew in a deep breath as though about to make a confession—and a painful one, at that. “I’ve never been on a date, Jerden—except one that I’d prefer to forget—and it was a very long time ago. I wouldn’t know what to do—how to act… where to go… or anything.”
“How about we go to dinner at Tarq and Lucy’s restaurant? That’s public enough, and they’re bound to see it for what it is and spread the word.”
“As long as Nate gets wind of it, we’ll have accomplished our goal.”
Jerden had an idea that his friend Tarq would be so glad to see him out with a woman, he’d probably alert the media. “I don’t believe that’ll be a problem.”
She gave him a rueful smile. “You’re right about that. Don’t know what I was thinking, especially since everybody seems to know everything about everybody around here. It’s more of an accomplishment to keep something quiet.”
“True. And the more I’m seen out in public behaving like a rational person, the better. I’d like to put those ‘insane wildcat’ rumors to rest once and for all.”
“Okay then,” she said with a decisive nod. “I’ll do it.”
Jerden rolled his eyes. “Thank the gods above.” He’d never had to work so hard to get a woman to agree to a date in his life.
First time for everything…
***
Sara hadn’t been kidding about not knowing what to do on a date. Should they hold hands? Gaze longingly into each other’s eyes? Sit in a dark corner and kiss every time they thought no one was looking? The whole idea was as foreign to her as ballet dancing or flying a starship. She’d have to rely on him to take the lead.
She almost laughed out loud. Allowing a man to take the lead? The last time she’d done that had turned out to be the worst mistake she’d ever made. She doubted this date would turn out to be anything like that one, but as always, the fear that it might haunted her.
But this is Jerden. She had to remind herself of that. He wasn’t like the others. She was slowly realizing that he was a man she could actually trust—trust not to hurt her, belittle her, or try to dominate her…
She glanced at Danuban. Walking placidly alongside Akira, he displayed no trace of the wild, vicious stallion that the spaceport officials had described to her. If only you’d been a good boy and waited for me, none of this would’ve happened. Yet it had. She could see the chain of events clearly now. The stallion’s escape, Nate’s renewed insistence that she breed her mares to his stallion, Jerden’s entry into her life astride that missing horse, and the horse somehow determined to remain with Jerden, inadvertently bringing them together.
Or had it been intentional? A matchmaking stallion? Highly unlikely. He only appeared that way in retrospect. Thinking of him as anything other than an animal and therefore completely lacking in the devious nature required for such a plan was ridiculous. Only people and other so-called intelligent life forms were capable of that level of manipulation, which was yet another reason why Sara preferred horses over people. They were nothing if not honest.
These thoughts had been rattling around in her head for some time when she finally realized that Jerden was watching her, an amused half smile on his lips. “Planning on sharing any of those thoughts? They look mighty deep.”
Sara shook her head. “Not that deep.” A ragged sigh escaped her. “Still want to come over after dinner?”
“Sure.” His gaze swept the entire length of her body, triggering a tingling warmth as if he’d actually touched her. “Unless you want me there sooner.”
His inflection made it sound like a challenge—and a suggestive one at that. Did she want him sooner, or did she want him at all? Might be best to ease into it when they wouldn’t be alone together. She wasn’t sure she was ready for that. “Why don’t you have dinner with me and the gang? If nothing else, you’d get the chance to sample more of my cooking. And if you don’t like it, you can still back out of that… other offer.”
“Trying to get rid of me already?” he said with a mocking smile. “I doubt if your cooking ability would change my mind. Besides, I’m not such a bad cook myself. I could take over if you like.”
“It would be nice to have a break now and then.” She frowned, recalling the kitchen disasters that had occurred when Drania volunteered—though they were nothing compared with Reutal’s fiascoes. Zatlen had never even made the attempt. “The others can’t cook at all.”
“I think you have them spoiled. They’d figure it out if they got hungry enough.”
“Maybe. I like cooking for them, though. They… appreciate it.”
“What, you mean there are people who don’t appreciate having someone to cook for them?” He paused as the possibilities sank in. “Unless it was really terrible.”
She tried not to let it show, but the hurt came through anyway. “There are some people who don’t appreciate anything you do for them.” She glanced at her watch. “Speaking of which, we’d better get a move on or lunch is going to be late.”
Leaving Jerden to make whatever he wanted of that, she urged Akira into a canter, focusing her eyes on the road ahead to avoid his questioning gaze. That wound was an old one, but it was still too deep, too raw to discuss with Jerden or anyone else. At least, not yet.
Jerden didn’t ask Sara to explain her comment, merely promising to see her at dinner when they parted ways at the turnoff to her farm. Thankful for this reprieve, she rode into the stable yard alone and dismounted, still trying to figure out how she would feel once the news that she and Jerden were an item became common knowledge. Salan wasn’t the type to nurse a broken heart in silence, which meant that Nate had surely heard about it by now. Sara had a feeling the previous night’s visit from him wouldn’t be the last.
Sara didn’t share Jerden’s optimism that her sentiments might change, even though her feelings toward him were already different than they’d been for any other man. Like his proposal, Jerden’s revelation had taken her by surprise. The idea that such a man had never been loved or been in love was ludicrous, though it did make sense in some ways. A man in love wouldn’t sell his body to any woman with a thousand credits to spare, just as a man who’d never been loved wouldn’t see any point in saving himself for the one woman who did.
These thoughts were still in her mind as led Akira into the barn just as Reutal came dancing down the aisle.
“You look awfully happy,” she remarked.
“Oh, I am,” he said with a big, lopsided grin. “Happier than I’ve been in ages!” He sighed with what she could only assume was ecstatic bliss. “So tell me, Sara. When’s the big cat moving in?”