ICEBOX CAKE

SERVES 12

One time, Fran’s mother’s best friend, Roseanne, who, of course, lived down the block, made an icebox cake and brought it over. We were like, “What the hell is this? It’s so thin and so dry.” Fran’s mom told us to shut up, but we knew good icebox cake when we saw it. Roseanne, she made it cheap. She only used one box of pudding mix instead of four, and it definitely wasn’t My-T-Fine pudding mix, which was all our aunts or grandparents ever used. Jell-O didn’t cut the mustard in our house.

Icebox cake was something that we ate on holidays, and most of the time you had your pick—our aunt Loulou’s or Fran’s mother’s. They’d be in these enormous catering pans because these cakes were six, eight inches thick, layered with graham crackers and chocolate and vanilla pudding. Aunt Loulou and Joy were always tryin’ to one-up each other with how big their cakes were. The one rule they had was that you never, ever use low-fat or skim milk. It would make the cake more firm and easier to cut, but it would suck. It had to be whole milk. Icebox cake pretty much looks like slop when you cut into it, but it’s outta this world. Serve it up cold, stick a spoon in it, and dig in.

4 (3-ounce) boxes My-T-Fine chocolate pudding mix

4 (3-ounce) boxes My-T-Fine vanilla pudding mix

1 gallon whole milk

2 boxes Nabisco Graham Crackers, crumbled

2 cups heavy cream

Granulated sugar

Follow the directions on the packages for making the pudding, using as much milk as needed. Set aside.

In the bottom of the baking dish, spread a layer of graham cracker crumbles. Cover with a layer of vanilla pudding, followed by another layer of graham cracker crumbles, and then a layer of chocolate pudding. Continue alternating until you reach the top of the pan, ending with a pudding layer. Cover and refrigerate for at least 4 hours before serving.

When ready to serve, whip the heavy cream, adding sugar to taste, and dollop the whipped cream on top of the cake.

PASTEIS DE NATA

(PORTUGUESE EGG CUSTARD TARTS)

MAKES ABOUT 40 PASTRIES

Aunt Tina (remember, the one who made the Chicken and Lard on here?), she also made this dish, and we’d put it up there in the same category as cauliflower fritters in terms of deliciousness and awesomeness. They’re basically hand-size egg custard tarts. Like a flan, but better. We don’t know how these things aren’t all over. How is there not a guy in Manhattan only sellin’ these? He’d make a fortune! Maybe it’s something we should think about…

For the Dough:

2 cups all-purpose flour, plus more for rolling out the dough

¼ teaspoon sea salt

1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, at room temperature, whipped until smooth in a stand mixer or in a bowl with a spatula

For the Custard:

3 tablespoons all-purpose flour

1¼ cups whole milk

1¾ cups granulated sugar

1 cinnamon stick

½ teaspoon pure vanilla extract

6 large egg yolks, whisked

For Assembly:

Salted butter, for the pan

Confectioners’ sugar

Ground cinnamon

MAKE THE DOUGH:

In the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the dough hook, mix the flour, salt, and 1 cup water until a soft, pillowy dough comes together, about 30 seconds.

Turn out the dough onto a floured work surface and pat it into a 6-inch square using a pastry scraper as a guide. Flour the dough, cover with plastic wrap, and let rest for 15 minutes.

Roll the dough into an 18-inch square using the scraper to lift the dough every now and then to make sure it’s not sticking. Brush the excess flour off the top, trim any uneven edges, and, using a small spatula, dot and then spread the left two-thirds of the dough with a little less than one-third of the butter. Leave 1 inch at the edge unbuttered.

Carefully fold over the unbuttered right third of the dough (using the pastry scraper to loosen it if it sticks), brush off any excess flour, then fold over the left third. Starting from the top, pat down the dough packet with your hand to release air bubbles, then pinch the edges closed. Brush off any excess flour.

Turn the dough packet 90 degrees to the left so the fold is facing you. Lift the packet and flour the work surface below. Once again roll the dough out into an 18-inch square, then spread the left two-thirds of the dough with another one-third of the butter, leaving 1 inch unbuttered at the edge. Fold as you did before.

For the last rolling, turn the packet 90 degrees to the left and roll out the dough into an 18 x 21-inch rectangle. Adjust it so the shorter edge is facing you. Spread the remaining butter over the entire surface. Using a spatula as an aid, lift the edge closest to you and roll the dough away from you into a tight log, brushing the excess flour from the underside as you go. Trim the ends and cut the log in half. Wrap each piece in plastic wrap and chill overnight.

MAKE THE CUSTARD:

In a medium bowl, whisk together the flour and ¼ cup of the milk until smooth. Set aside.

In a small saucepan, combine the granulated sugar, cinnamon stick, and ⅔ cup water and bring to a boil. Cook until the mixture registers 200°F on an instant-read thermometer. Do not stir. Remove from the heat.

In a separate small saucepan, scald the remaining 1 cup milk over low heat. Whisk the hot milk into the flour mixture. Remove the cinnamon stick from the sugar mixture and pour the syrup in a thin stream into the hot milk and flour mixture, whisking briskly. Add the vanilla and stir for a minute until the mixture is very warm, but not hot. Whisk in the yolks, strain the custard through a fine-mesh strainer into a bowl, cover with plastic wrap, and set aside.

ASSEMBLE THE PASTRIES:

Preheat the oven to 500°F. Butter the wells of a muffin tin.

Remove the pastry log from the refrigerator and roll it back and forth on a lightly floured surface with your hands until it’s about 1 inch in diameter and 16 inches long. Cut the log into ¾-inch pieces and place them cut-side down in each well of the muffin pan.

Allow the dough pieces to rest for a few minutes until they’re pliable. Have a small cup of water nearby. Dip your thumbs into the water, then straight down into the middle of the dough spiral. Flatten the dough against the bottom of the well so it’s about ⅛ inch thick, then smooth the dough up the sides of the pan to create a raised lip that’s about ⅛ inch above the pan. The pastry sides should be thinner than the bottom. Repeat with the remaining dough. Fill each dough cup three-quarters full with the slightly warm custard.

Bake until the edges of the dough are golden brown, 8 to 9 minutes. Remove from the oven and let cool for a few minutes in the pan. Transfer to a rack and let cool until just warm. Sprinkle the pastries with confectioners’ sugar, then cinnamon, and serve.

The pastries can be refrigerated for up to 3 days, and the dough can be frozen for a couple of months.

SAL THE BAKER’S FRUIT TART

MAKES 2 TARTS

There was a guy who lived on our block whose name was Sal the Baker. Picture a big Italian guy who looked like a “Sal the Baker,” mustache and all. That was him. Had a real pretty Italian wife too. We used to hang out on his fence because one of our friends lived next door, and Sal the Baker would always say “You’re gonna break my fence!” Anyway, he had a pastry shop called Alta Pastry in Staten Island, which had great pastries. Everything there was good, but the best by far were his fruit tarts, which were filled with custard and had fruit layered on top. We could never just buy one tart, so this recipe makes two.

2½ cups whole milk

¼ cup all-purpose flour

¼ cup granulated sugar

3 large egg yolks

2 teaspoons freshly grated lemon zest

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

4 cups strawberries, hulled and quartered

4 cups blueberries

6 kiwis, peeled and cut into rounds

2 tangerines, peeled and cut into rounds

1 cup apricot preserves

2 (10-inch) store-bought graham cracker piecrusts

In a medium bowl, whisk together the milk, flour, granulated sugar, egg yolks, lemon zest, and vanilla until well blended. Transfer the mixture to a small saucepot and whisk slowly over medium heat until the custard thickens. Remove from the heat and refrigerate for 2 to 3 hours.

In a large bowl, toss the fruit and preserves to combine.

Divide the custard evenly between the piecrusts, then layer the fresh fruit on top. Serve immediately or refrigerate overnight.

ZEPPOLE

MAKES 16 SMALL ZEPPOLE

At the Jersey Shore in the summertime, the longest lines on the boardwalk are for the zeppole, or fried balls of dough. Same thing when the San Gennaro Feast—or just The Feast—rolls around. For good reason too—they’re delicious. If we wanted zeppole and it wasn’t summertime or The Feast, we’d go over to Pizza Town, which was famous for their zeppole, fried calzones, and slices. It used to be called Pizza Clown and had what looked like a giant red, white, and blue circus tent over it, but when the mini golf next door shut down, they changed it to Pizza Town. Before Basille’s, it was the most popular place for pizza in Staten Island. Rodney Dangerfield even filmed a scene there for Easy Money. When we opened the restaurant, though, we started makin’ our own zeppole from the leftover pizza dough. Pizza Town used a special dough for theirs, but for us, if we were in the mood for dessert, we just used what we had on hand. We’d let it proof to death with flour, salt, and yeast and then deep-fry it until it was crispy and golden brown on the outside but soft and cake-like in the middle. We loved zeppole so much that we even opened a dessert shop in 2009 called Led Zeppole.

1 cup all-purpose flour

1 teaspoon baking powder

2 teaspoons granulated sugar

½ teaspoon vanilla extract

4 cups vegetable oil

½ cup confectioners’ sugar

In a large bowl, whisk together the flour, baking powder, granulated sugar, vanilla, and ½ cup water. Whisk until the consistency is even and sticky.

In a deep-fryer or a deep frying pan, heat the oil until it registers about 375°F on a deep-frying thermometer.

Scoop tablespoons of the batter into the hot oil and cook for 4 minutes, or until browned on all sides. Transfer the zeppole to a paper towel.

Put the cooked zeppole in a paper bag with the confectioners’ sugar, seal the bag, and shake vigorously for 30 seconds. Remove and enjoy!

CANNOLI

MAKES 8 CANNOLI

Our great-grandfather made cannoli in the bakery, so when he had the shops, these would always be on the table for the holidays like Christmas and Easter. After that, Fran’s dad made them in a bakery he owned for a short time on Long Island. Fran remembers goin’ out there with his sister and her eating like eight cannoli, then throwin’ up in the sink in the back of the store. After that shop closed, we got our cannoli from Alfonso’s in Staten Island or from Court Pastry.

The thing is, though, they aren’t too bad to make yourself now that they sell pretty good cannoli shells at the store. It beats having to make the shells, because everything’s gotta be just right or it all falls apart. The filling, on the other hand, is so easy. You just gotta buy the ricotta impastata, which is ricotta that’s been dried out in the oven so it’s very dry and spreads like cream cheese. Then you add some mascarpone cheese, a little rum, a little vanilla, and a little sugar. And once you’ve filled your cannoli, you can use the leftover filling in all different ways—stuff zeppole with it, fill cakes with it, put it on toast, put it on a bagel, or eat it right outta the bowl.

If you do end up buyin’ cannoli from a store instead, just make sure they haven’t been sittin’ in the case all day, gettin’ soggy on the bottom. A good shop will either be turning them over fast or fillin’ ’em for you fresh.

If you can’t find ricotta impastata, use mascarpone instead. Or wrap some regular ricotta in cheesecloth, set it in a strainer over a bowl, and leave it in the refrigerator overnight so all the liquid drains out.

1 cup ricotta impastata or additional mascarpone

1 cup mascarpone cheese

½ cup confectioners’ sugar

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

2 tablespoons lemon zest

½ teaspoon ground cinnamon

8 store-bought cannoli shells

In a medium bowl, combine the ricotta impastata, mascarpone, sugar, vanilla, lemon zest, and cinnamon and stir until smooth. Cover and refrigerate overnight.

To fill the cannoli, spoon the filling into a pastry bag fitted with a plain tip. Pipe the filling in one end of the cannoli shell so it fills halfway. Then fill it completely from the other end.