KIM
My body felt too hot. My skin was covered in a damp sweat. It was too soon to wake up. I was still too tired. Not all of my senses worked yet. My mind balanced on a thin line of consciousness. But something had woken me. Something I hadn’t felt in a long time.
Lust, all muddled and confusing. It was like being drugged. I couldn’t really tell what was happening, but I knew I wanted sex. My body craved weight pressing down on it, filling it. My hips rocked trying to find relief that wasn’t there. My nipples were rock hard; my breasts ached to be teased.
I was on fire. I was pressed against a source of incredible heat igniting me from the inside out.
Desperate for relief, I turned on my side to rub my body closer to the source of heat. Had I ever felt this level of arousal? It was the type of horniness that came from watching something naughty. There was an over-arching sense of dread that I couldn’t pinpoint. Dread wasn’t the right word. A fear of being caught. Like a ticking clock warning time was running out. A thrill …
My back arched. This was wrong. I shouldn’t be doing it. But why not? It felt so good. The sense of wrongness only fueled the lust burning through me.
But I couldn’t stop.
Realization that I wasn’t alone drifted into my still waking brain. I registered a massive muscular body beneath me. A thick thigh flexed between my legs. My fingers clenched on muscles. I dug my nails deep into hard flesh. Hands rubbed up my arms and down my body, squeezed my ass. Pulled me closer. I was sweating now. Panting. A rigid length rubbed against my hip. If I could just reach it, shift it closer so I could … my hand found its destination.
A moan escaped me as I continued to rock.
The form under me stiffened.
Then the rest settled in. The thunderstorm. The sleeping arrangement.
I froze, stock still.
The body under me shuffled, causing me to fall slightly off. The light clicked on. Devlin and I shot apart.
“Oh my God!” I clutched the sheet to my chest. Not that I knew why. I was fully dressed but my nipples were still hard, my breasts heavy with fading desire.
Devlin shook sleep from his head. “Shit,” he mumbled. He glanced to me, still clutching the sheet. “Are you okay?”
“I don’t know—”
His gaze followed mine to his lap and he quickly covered himself with a pillow. But not before I saw the massive hardness barely restrained by cotton boxers. I sucked in my lips.
“Sorry—I was sleeping,” he said. His hair was ruffled, and his eyes were squinting.
“No. It’s okay. I just woke up.” My cheeks flamed red.
I was humiliated. But at the same time … unsettled. Restless. And I was still on fire.
Even in the dim light of the table lamp I could see color in his cheeks. His chest heaved. We were panting and our gazes met. We both looked away quickly.
“Shit,” he repeated. He ran a hand over his face. “Kim. I’m so sorry. I don’t—I was sleeping,” he repeated.
I bit my cheek to keep from smiling. “I was too. It’s okay. It was a dream. I was dreaming and then I wasn’t.”
I studied the bit of space on the bed between us. There was dampness in my underwear, and I recalled how I had been grinding against him. I was embarrassed but maybe not as embarrassed as I should be. Had he felt the dampness from my arousal on his leg? God, what was wrong with me?
He was taking deep breathes with his eyes closed.
“I was dreaming too,” he said.
I would pay good money to know what he’d been dreaming.
“This was an accident,” I said.
“Yes. I wouldn’t have—”
“It’s okay.” I smoothed my hair before twisting it up into a quick bun. I slept with it down and could only imagine how it looked. He watched the action closely before looking to my lips and then eyes.
“We were both sleeping,” he said almost in question.
“Yes. Definitely sleeping. It was just. I think—I mean, we’re human. And I don’t know about you, but it’s been a while for me.” I clamped shut. I really needed to stop talking.
He cleared his throat. “Yeah, I just—”
“Just what?” I asked too quickly.
“I mean yeah, it’s been a while for me too.”
“It has?”
He gave me a look.
“Sorry. Don’t answer that. Boundaries,” I mumbled.
“I knew this was a bad idea,” he said softly, almost to himself.
“The storm …” It had shaken me more than I had wanted to admit, but the second we’d climbed into bed together I’d fallen right asleep. I’d slept better than I had in ages. It was like our bodies had just made a decision in our sleep for us.
“I understand. I really am sorry. Did I—” he cleared his throat. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. You have nothing to be sorry about. You didn’t do anything. I mean I was the one on top of you. I was the one—”
“It’s okay.” He took another deep breath. He lifted the pillow to look and quickly put it back.
“You knew it was a bad idea?” I felt shame with that. A different sort of shame. I was the one who walked in on him in the shower. I was the one that was basically dry humping him in his sleep. I kept crossing the lines while he worked to keep them in place. How long until he’d want to stop working with me all together?
“You’re a beautiful woman. I’m a man. I’m alone a lot—not that it excuses it. Our bodies must have just—” He was rambling, talking almost to himself.
“Totally. It was a subconscious thing.” I situated the blankets to cover my smile.
For all of my talk about not caring for being called beautiful by men, when Devlin said it—as though it was just an obvious fact, as though he’d always felt that way, and it was just something he was used to—well, I was ashamed to say that it lit me up. I felt sexy. I hadn’t felt sexy in a very long time. I’d kept myself muted. He only knew me as a muted shade of brown, and yet he thought I was beautiful.
He grabbed his phone from the nightstand.
“What time is it?” I asked.
“It’s only 5:30.”
“I usually get up at this time. I won’t be going back to sleep,” I said.
“Me neither.”
Our gazes clashed again, and I smiled. He smiled back, but it was tensed. “This could have been very awkward.”
“Thank goodness it’s not awkward at all. We can just get up and have coffee. We should check the roads. No need to ever talk about it again.” I shrugged. I played it off so he wouldn’t get freaked out. I’d pushed too far.
“Good idea,” he said.
“Right. So, I’ll just go make some coffee?” I asked.
“Sounds good. I’ll meet you in the kitchen.”
“Okay.” I blew out air from pursed lips.
The arousal had worn off and I was left with a wired restlessness. I rolled my head side to side and stretched my arms over my head.
He cleared his throat. “I’m just going to go take a quick shower.”
“Okay.” I nodded with an expectant look.
He shifted before scratching at his beard. He subtly tilted his head toward the pillow in his lap.
“Oh. Right. Well, I’ll just go get that coffee going.”
A smile crept on my face as I made my way down the hall.