Kitty.
I want to chuckle at her name, just because the farm was the Country Mouse. How apt was that? Cat and mouse. I felt a bit like the mouse, being pursued. Though our phone calls were more like tag than chase. But soon I’d be seeing her in person again. I look at the list I’d written down. It wouldn’t take long to prepare, and I could finish up the rest of my chores before I left for the city. I’ll admit that I won’t be making much money on this sale, in comparison to what it will cost me in time, but I’m hoping for more sales later, or word of mouth promotion.
And I have to be honest with myself.
I want to see Kitty again. I need to know if what I’m feeling is just me, or if it’s her too. I’d like to think it’s both of us. When her voice changed on the phone, it made my heart thrill, and I thought for sure that she was interested.
I don’t know why I can’t just ask her…Oh, who am I kidding? I know exactly why. Because if I chance it, then I could mess it up, and that’d be the end of everything. So I won’t do that. I need more information first. More intel, as Alice says, especially after she’s been watching her favorite Tom Cruise action movies.
Speaking of…
I call Alice, dialing her number from memory. She answers, and her voice is still rough.
“Feeling any better?”
Alice coughs. “I’ve been worse,” she replies. “How was it yesterday at the market?”
“I think we have a new client,” I reply, “and I sold most of the produce. I have to go into the city today for a delivery before I get to the market. Do you need anything when I get back tonight?”
“This cold to go away.” Alice chuckles. “But no. I’m pretty well stocked. But if you can pick up a few magazines at the store, that’d be great. My internet keeps slowing down, and I need my fix of entertainment news.”
“That I can do. I’ll pop by on my way home.”
“You’re a dear.” I can hear the smile in her voice before she hangs up. Now it’s time for me to go to work.
* * *
Finding Kitty’s office is easy. Finding a parking spot in the crazy-busy downtown is not. I’ve never been too fond of the hustle and bustle of the city. It’s a cliché for the typical farm girl, but it’s really true for me. I suppose if I’d grown up here, it’d be different, but I sure don’t miss it here once I’m away.
I circle the block several times, being careful to follow all the one-way signs. Finally, finally, a cube van pulls out of a spot just ahead of me, and I can pull in. I turn the key and take a deep breath. Instead of getting out the driver’s side, I shift over the bench seat and hop down from the passenger side. I go around to the side and open the door, and pull out the cardboard tray full of punnets. I balance it on one hand as I pull the door closed, then head over to the building. The security gives me a bit of a once-over, but I’m unbothered as I go to the elevator. Twelfth floor. I hit the button and wait. The doors open onto a reception area. Everything’s pale wood and gray carpet, minimalist furniture that looks incredibly uncomfortable.
“Hi, can I help you?” A receptionist peers over the high desk, smiling.
“I’m here to see Ms. Kerr,” I say, reminding myself to smile. I feel completely out of place here, in my jeans, T-shirt, and work boots. Everything’s clean and tidy, but it’s not anywhere near fancy enough.
“Just let me call and make sure she’s available.” The receptionist taps her headset and then speaks a few words and listens. She taps the headset again and then looks back at me. “I’ll take you back.”
“Thanks.”
I follow the receptionist through a maze of hallways, which I’m sure I’ll get lost in on my way back. Everything looks the same. Gray and white and splashes of arty color here and there. We arrive at a desk, and I recognize Cindy. She’s one of my best customers. It’s easy to smile at her, and she smiles back warmly. I feel a bit more at ease.
“Hi, Luce,” she says. “Kitty mentioned you were going to be here. Although I think she mentioned that you’d call.”
“I completely forgot,” I admit sheepishly. I never forget these things.
“No worries. It’ll be a good surprise for her.” Cindy checks her computer. “She’s in the office, and she’s free. Let me just pop in and make sure she’s not stuck on a phone call.” She rises from her desk and turns, opening a door just a few steps behind her. She sticks her head into the office, and I can hear her talking to Kitty, although I can’t really make out the words.
My stomach roils with nerves. I take a deep breath. She’s just a new customer. No big deal.
Cindy moves back and gestures for me to enter. “She’s all yours.”
I can feel the heat on my cheeks and can only hope that Cindy hasn’t noticed, but by her smile, I think she has. I shift my grip on the cardboard and walk through the open door. Kitty is sitting at a substantial, though minimalist, desk, files stacked on either side of a large blotter. It’s almost classic lawyer or, at least, what I think of what a lawyer’s desk might look like. A laptop computer sits to one side, its screen glowing.
Kitty rises with a smile, and I suck in a quiet breath. Her skirt suit is much like the day before, but this one has a dark royal blue jacket with a black skirt, and there’s something about that color that brings out her eyes and flatters her skin tone and dark hair. Utterly delectable, even more than the blackberries.
“You are a saint for bringing this,” she says, rounding the desk. “Do you take plastic, or do you need cash?”
“Whichever you like.” I’ve brought my payment system and it’s all set up, but cash is easier still. Kitty moves to a side table and picks up her purse, simple black leather with a long cross-body strap, and digs into it, pulling out a slim wallet. She takes a card from it. I glance around, trying to decide where to set the box, settling on one of the visitor’s chairs. She meets me in a few steps, and I take out my phone and the little square payment machine. She leans over my shoulder slightly and watches as I type in her order and get things ready. Then I hand her the machine and she taps her card.
“That was so easy.”
“I love new tech.” I know I’m blushing again. I’m geeky and just can’t help myself as I go into a bit of a spiel about the payment system and how easy it is…And how easy it is to get lost in her gaze. I don’t want to be anywhere else but looking at those cool blue eyes. I catch myself and cut myself off before I can get too far into it. “I don’t want to bore you.”
“I’m not bored.” Kitty smiles again. “I just never expected that farmers would have this kind of tech.”
“Greenhouses are pretty high tech these days.” She can’t help being a city girl, it seems. I wonder if she’s even been to a farm. Probably not. I imagine her in jeans and a T-shirt, or maybe even coveralls. Coveralls with nothing on underneath. Oh, my.
“I’d love to see them, see how it’s done,” Kitty says.
“And I’d love to show you.”
“You would?” Kitty leans closer, and her tongue comes out to run over her bottom lip. I don’t think it’s purposeful, but what it does to me…A slight tremor runs through me.
“There’s greenhouses and fields, and we have kittens in the barn, along with a couple of pigs and a horse.”
“It sounds amazing.” She seems almost wistful now, not flirty. A quick change that I’m not sure of.
“Let me know when you’d want to visit.” I know I sound too professional, but I just can’t let myself open up. It’s too risky. She might not be a lesbian. She might not be into me even if she is. I’d rather not have anything than risk alienating this compelling woman. Even if I have had fantasies about her and me and blackberries and a lot of sex.
“Kitty, your two thirty is here. I have him waiting, and you have a few minutes yet, but I thought you should know.” Cindy pops her head around the door. “I’ve given him a coffee too.”
Kitty’s gaze breaks from mine, darts to the door. “Thanks, Cindy.” She looks back to me, and we’re close enough that one step would put us to touching. Her gaze is searching, thoughtful.
“Are you serious? About visiting, that is?” Her voice is lower, uncertain.
I squeeze her fingers, cool and delicate under my calloused hand, and to my surprise, she squeezes back, but doesn’t let go. “Of course I am.”
She smiles then, a truly radiant smile. “One day. Soon.”
“Soon,” I repeat. What I really want is a set time, the certainty, but I won’t push. Where we’re touching is warm, and getting warmer, and it feels so right. She squeezes my fingers again, then loosens her touch, dropping my hand.
“I wish I had more time,” she says. She rubs her eyes. “A curse and a blessing, this job.”
“I’ll leave you to it,” I say, backing up a step. A very reluctant step.
* * *
Cindy takes the berries after Lucy leaves, and she promises to stash them somewhere safe while I finish up my next client. Even as he enters, I can still smell the sweetness of the berries, and the slightly warm, dusty sweet smell of Lucy. Is that even a thing? Most women I’ve been with have smelled like whatever their favorite body wash was, or whatever perfume they’ve just put on. Lucy, on the other hand, doesn’t carry any of those scents.
When I go to visit her farm, I can find out for sure.
I check my calendar quickly, knowing my next client is waiting. My time is almost fully blocked off for the next few weeks, as solid as it could be without having me work 24/7. A hint of fatigue courses through me, but I straighten and then rise to my feet. Another three hours and I can head home early, and tuck into a good dinner, and some blackberries for dessert. And maybe, just maybe, I’ll go to bed early. Early of course meaning any time before one in the morning.
The partnership is in sight, soon.
I’m not that one who is going to quit to have kids, or quit to find herself or quit because she can’t handle it. I’ve seen too many others quit, especially at this firm. I’m going to be the one to tough it out. I know I can handle it.