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FROM AN AOL NEWSROOM CHAT, 9/11/2001 9:45 AM EDT

AOL HOST: This is what we know so far: Two planes crashed into the World Trade Center in New York City. Another hit the Pentagon. The White House and Pentagon have been evacuated.

QUESTION: How many people were hurt?

AOL HOST: Not known. But it does appear that one plane was an American Airlines 767 hijacked from Boston shortly after takeoff. I can only think that plane had 100+ people on it.

QUESTION: Who do you think is responsible for this?

AOL HOST: “Terrorists” is too vague, but it’s the best we can say right now.

QUESTION: I want to know what they are going to do about the military.

AOL HOST: I would say that we are on full military alert.

QUESTION: Is the White House on fire?

AOL HOST: No. There is a fire at the Pentagon, where a plane seems to have crashed.

QUESTION: Who has claimed responsibility for these acts of terrorism?

AOL HOST: No one. And that is very nervous-making, don’t you think?

QUESTION: Would you speculate on responsibility? They keep saying Palestinians, but this is more like Iraq, considering the recent plane downings near Baran.

AOL HOST: I hear you, but I think it’s best not to speculate just yet.

QUESTION: Will this lead to a war?

AOL HOST: If so, it is a different kind of war than we usually fight.

QUESTION: Is there any reason to believe that the terrorists will attack the White House?

AOL HOST: If so, I think it would have happened already. But we do not know if there are other planes in the air.

QUESTION: Do you know what hit the Pentagon?

AOL HOST: No.

QUESTION: Why weren’t the planes detected by radar?

AOL HOST: Good question. And here is another: If one of the planes was hijacked from Boston, was the government tracking it for almost an hour?

QUESTION: What does this say about the apparent inadequate security at a major airport?

AOL HOST: It says there is no such thing as “security.”

NEWSFLASH: One of the World Trade Center towers just collapsed. Now let us recap. A plane hit near or at the Pentagon. Two planes crashed into the World Trade Center. The president is on his way back to D.C. All airports in U.S. closed. Unclear how many dead . . . There are many rumors, but that is all they are—rumors. We’ll confirm them as they’re authenticated—IF they are authenticated. New York City is completely closed: bridges and subways and tunnels. And airports are closed. We have lots of anecdotal reports that many, many people have been terrific in helping others out of the buildings and out of the area . . .

“Hi, Mom . . . I love you very much. I’m calling you from the plane. We’ve been taken over.”

—MARK BINGHAM, TO HIS MOTHER IN SAN FRANCISCO, Newsday 9/13/2001

“People jumped online and they IM’d me and said, ‘Are you okay? Is your brother okay? Do you know anybody who’s missing?’”

—HOST OF A SMALL WEB JOURNAL, Entertainment Weekly 9/28/2001

FROM AN AOL POST, 9/12/2001 12:18 PM EDT

SUBJECT: WHERE WERE YOU WHEN THE TOWERS CAME DOWN?

I was breast-feeding my three-month-old son and crying. What kind of world did I bring my son into, and will he ever be safe? Will he have to witness to such a catastrophic tragedy? I pray to God that he will not.

FROM AN AOL POST, 9/14/2001 5:04 AM EDT

SUBJECT: EVERY TIME I HEAR A PLANE I CRINGE

Last night, 9/13/01, all flights were canceled at JFK, LaGuardia, and Newark.

About 9:30 PM I heard a plane, and my body froze, waiting to see the news of another target hit. Fifteen minutes later I heard another one. Again, I froze.

I realized from the first plane that they are military aircraft patrolling our air space, but I think I’d be happy if I never heard the roar of a jet engine again in my life. I live in the Bronx and in the flight paths to the various airports, and I feel like I’m holding my breath, just waiting for the other shoe to drop. I know I should feel safe with all the military protection (aircraft carriers, etc.), but I just can’t seem to take a completely deep breath.

FROM AN AOL POST, 9/16/2001 1:39 AM EDT

SUBJECT: HELP ME DEAL WITH THIS

I am 40 years old. I went from the Garden of Eden to hell. I am afraid for my family. Is nerve gas next on the list of terrorist deeds?

I am afraid for my country. Is our economic way of life doomed?

I am afraid for my world. Is this the beginning of the end for mankind? I feel I have no control over my world anymore. Help me—the depression is really deep. The terrorist bastards have won, and the images of the WTC falling haunt me day and night.

FROM AN AOL POST, 9/16/2001 12:57 PM EDT

SUBJECT: RE: HELP ME DEAL WITH THIS

I felt such fear when I first learned about these horrific attacks on our peace and way of life. I felt exactly as you described. Being 51 years old, I’ve been through some nasty episodes in my lifetime, enough to have learned that “feeling better is a do-it-yourself project.”

I know that if I’m going to feel safe again, I’m the one who’s going to have to take the steps to feel that way. Me. Not the government, not the terrorists, not Mommy and Daddy. Me. So I decided that I would help myself to feel safe again.

The first thing I did was to limit my exposure to it, so I’ve watched the latest developments just once a day. I’m not sticking my head in the sand, but I’m not sticking it out there for the media to shoot off either!

Another thing I’ve done is made the decision to trust our country’s leaders and a loving “higher power.” I’m scheduled to fly from Boston to San Francisco in January, and I will go. I’m uncomfortable with that, but I’m going. I decide to trust.

One of the things that helped me feel safer is realizing that I AM safer. Really. We are all safer today than we were a week ago! Physically safer. It’s safer to fly today because of all the precautions now being taken. And if I felt safe last week, I can feel safe this week.

I just FEEL more vulnerable. This is just a feeling, not a fact, and it need not govern my life. On the other hand, feeling a realistic amount of vulnerability is a good thing. It can lead one to pursue one’s own truth, and it can motivate us to live fully and treasure each day.

There are many ways to experience the events of the past week. I’m quite sure we all experienced the same initial emotional response—great fear and sadness and anger. But we can choose not to be stuck in that place, not to live there. We can CHOOSE “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.”

I don’t have control over the world—I never did! I do have control over MY internal world, and really, that’s the world I inhabit. The “terrorist bastards” can only win if I lay down and let them win. My choosing to feel safe, choosing to go on with my life just as I’ve planned—including the cross-country flight—this is what keeps them from winning.

Yes, I have some fear, but I also have a lot of trust. I am saddened by the scenes of devastation and loss, but also encouraged by the scenes of human love and kindness and patriotism. I believe that feeling our vulnerability makes us stronger, wiser and more loving.

And I choose to focus on the positive.

FROM AN AOL POST, 9/18/2001 11:16 PM EDT

SUBJECT: RE: HELP ME DEAL WITH THIS

I am 54, and I too, went from the garden into hell. I am afraid of all the same things, too. This world should be such a wonderful place—a celebration of the diversity of people and beliefs, and all of the wonderful choices we should be able to make for our lives.

I am beginning to pull myself out of fear and depression this way: I am telling ALL of the people I love and care for how I feel about them and the difference they have made in my life.

I look back on my life, all of the mistakes that I have made and all of the wonderful things I have done and become, and I am proud and satisfied.

I look forward to what I can do to spread kindness every day in every way that I can, to all sorts of people.

I look at my ethnically different neighbors with a mixture of mistrust and concern for their safety as Americans like me and as intrinsically good people, knowing that the terrorists have disguised themselves as these same good families. I struggle not to fall into that destructive, suspicious mindset. While I struggle, I smile and practice kindness.

I know we must fight, and I believe many will die, probably horribly, and probably right here at home, in our neighborhoods, maybe even in my house. When I am most troubled by these thoughts, I think that everything has its time and life is transitory anyway. We know we all will die. It’s how we live that matters.

You have my appreciation for sharing your feelings . . . your thoughts have helped me come to a better place within myself.

“The Internet carries the news and connects the masses in a true interactive sob.”

—DONNA HOFFMAN, A PROFESSOR AT VANDERBILT UNIVERSITY WHO STUDIES THE WEB, The New York Times 9/12/2001

FROM AN AOL POST, 9/19/2001 2:04 AM EDT

SUBJECT: I NEED PEOPLE TO READ THIS

My husband and I have been mourning right along with the rest of the nation since Tuesday morning. Before this I’d only seen my husband cry one other time—the day our son was born. But seeing the destruction and listening to the personal stories of the victims and their families had him crying right alongside me.

I am writing in this forum because I have to be scared now for a whole different reason than most Americans. Not only do I worry about the threat of war, but now I am also scared of my fellow American. I fear my fellow American. God, isn’t it so sad that anyone should have to say that?

I am not scared for myself. I am the kind of “American” who is generally accepted and not singled out. I’m just your average white girl. I’ve lived the great majority of my life without the eye of prejudice looking upon me—but it is now focused on my husband and son.

My husband’s name is Marwan and our son is Khaled. Clearly not your typical American names, but they are certainly Americans. Just as much as you or I. Marwan’s mother is just another white girl like me, but his father is Palestinian. Marwan is an American citizen by birth and grew up right alongside all of us. He cheered at college football games. He said the Pledge of Allegiance every day in school. He was horrified when the Space Shuttle Challenger exploded. He was president of his college fraternity. He was a band geek, and now is a computer geek. He has that same love/hate relationship with 80s music that all of our generation shares. He gives blood every year—not just when there’s a tragedy. He votes. That sounds pretty “American,” doesn’t it? He knows no other culture—this IS his land.

So why on earth would people start telling him to “go home” now? He IS home, damn it. His home is right in the United States of America with his wife and baby boy.

Three nights ago a man told me, anonymously by computer like a true coward, that my son’s “blood is poisoned” and that my husband is an “Arab pig.” Have we not learned anything from this? Please someone tell me that from this tragedy people will learn and see what comes from anger and hatred. At a time when we should all be coming together, why would we be turning against each other? And why would we start to blame innocent people?

If my husband were to trade his baseball cap and blue jeans for traditional Middle Eastern attire, would that make him less American? No. If he were to trade the Bible for the Koran, would it make him less American? No. Then why would anyone want to fire-bomb mosques? Why would someone make death threats to Islamic schoolchildren?

I am tired of crying myself to sleep. I am tired of being afraid every time my husband walks out the door. I am angry that I find myself thankful he isn’t a “traditional” Arab and dresses like an “American” instead. I’m sad that traditional Arabs are scared to be seen in public right now. I fear that my baby boy will grow up in this country that I love so much and be hurt by the people in it just because of his name.

I am not writing this for those who are prejudiced—the ignorant generally stay ignorant. I am writing this to those who already know what I’m talking about. I’m writing this to those who understand what’s important and what makes a person good.

I am pleading with you to not let this continue. I’m asking you to not turn a blind eye or a deaf ear. If you see or hear something happening, do something to stop it. And that ranges all the way from snide remarks to fire bombs. Don’t let them spread their hatred around. I love my family and want to be able to speak their names loudly and proudly. Please help me to be able to do that again without fear.

Thanks for listening, and God bless America.

“I was watching the flight path of my wife’s plane on the American Airlines Web site, tracking the altitude and speed, when the image disappeared. The screen said, ‘Please contact American,’ and I just knew.”

—BOSTON RESIDENT, Newsday 9/13/2001

FROM AN AOL POST, 9/16/2001 4:08 PM EDT

SUBJECT: FROM A UNITED STATES MARINE

I am a United States Marine.

We are supposed to be the toughest group of people that ever walked the face of the this planet, but I have feelings.

I am hurting like the rest of you.

Can I see another’s woe,

And not be in sorrow too?

Can I see another’s grief,

And not seek for kind relief?

—WILLIAM BLAKE,
“ON ANOTHER’S SORROW”

FROM AN AOL POST, 9/15/2001 8:17 PM EDT

SUBJECT: PLEASE PRAY FOR COLLEEN

Please pray for our niece, Colleen Deloughery, murdered in WTC tower 2. Please pray for her two small children, who wait at the window for her to come home at night, and cry for their mommy. Please pray for her husband, who doesn’t know how to comfort his children, while he cries for his wife.

Please pray for her mother-in-law, who shouldn’t have to bury a daughter, and who cries for her son and grandchildren at night.

Please pray for her brothers and sister, who have had a lifetime of sorrow, and never expected to lose another family member.

Please pray that Colleen didn’t suffer, and that her final thoughts were of her family.

Please pray for the rest of us left behind, that we can find comfort in the fact that Colleen is in a far better place now, and that she is always with us.

FROM AN AOL POST, 9/16/2001 1:15 PM EDT

SUBJECT: BECAUSE OF YOUR STRENGTH, WE ARE FINDING OURS

Everyone has been through a gamut of thought and emotion during this past week. The topics of conversation were unfamiliar and “unreal.”

To find a light out of this darkness has been more than a small challenge, but there was something that helped us to find that—the people who took action on flight 93. Their efforts were not only important in a physical way—they allowed the American people to feel strength at a time when the strongest of us were struggling to feel that.

I am glad to find a place where I can write these words and my whole family can express the overwhelming gratitude we feel. Since there are no words to fully communicate our feelings to these people and their families, we must settle for Thank You . . . so very much . . . you are in our thoughts . . . you are remembered.

FROM AN AOL POST, 9/15/2001 1:05 AM EDT

SUBJECT: TO DANIEL

Dan,

Wherever you have gone, please wait for me there. Tonight I swear it feels as if I am not long behind you. I love you.

“Everyone either knows someone or knows someone who knows someone who was in the World Trade Center. It’s made the world a very small place.”

—WITNESS TO THE COLLAPSE, 9/11/2001

FROM AN AOL POST, 9/15/2001 1:10 AM EDT

SUBJECT: BEST FRIEND LOST

I lost my closest and most dearest friend. His name was Michael, and he was visiting his mother at the WTC on September 11, 2001, when the first plane hit.

I tried calling his mother that day, but could not get through. When I finally got through, all I got was her voice mail.

On September 12, 2001, his mother called me to tell me that Michael had passed away. I tried to control my emotions, but it was very hard, I blew up at work to co-workers who were being very insensitive. His mother told me that he saved her life by pushing her out of the first-floor door, when suddenly the walls caved in and Michael was left under them. Because of the extensive internal bleeding, the doctors were unable to help. He died 13 hours later.

My only regret is that I never got to say goodbye to my friend.

Michael, I know that you are watching me. I just want you to know that I Love You and Will Miss You always.

FROM AN AOL POST, 9/15/2001 12:51 AM EDT

SUBJECT: IN MEMORY OF STEVEN D. “JAKE” JACOBY, COO METROCALL

Just a few hours ago today I read that a friend/former client, Steven D. (“Jake”) Jacoby, was on the flight that left Dulles Airport and crashed into the Pentagon. He was the COO of Metrocall.

When I worked as an attorney in Washington, D.C., Jake was my client. I was lucky enough to have worked with him almost daily over a two-year period, preparing financing documents, visiting with lenders and venture capitalists, attending board meetings, and speaking frequently throughout the day by phone on business issues. He and his colleagues went on to create one of the largest paging companies in the country.

During that time, Jake was a true friend. In conservative Washington, D.C., others didn’t know what to say about my decision to go through with a “single-parent” pregnancy. But he was kind enough and true enough to his faith to encourage me through a lonely pregnancy; I remember how touched I was that Jake made sure to send me flowers on the day my child was born.

When I returned to my home state six months after my daughter was born, Jake continued to send work my way because he was loyal and knew that I needed to support my child. He was a compassionate gentleman who understood the value of life and the dreams of most Americans.

Jake is survived by his wife and their three young children. Please pray for them.

FROM AN AOL POST, 9/14/2001 11:00 AM EDT

SUBJECT: KARLETON D. B. FYFE

I’ve known Karleton since he was about 10 years old. The day after the attack on the WTC towers, I found myself standing in the doorway to my pantry. At my age, this often happens, and I tried to remember what it was I going into the pantry for.

Then I realized that on some deeper level a higher power was directing my attention to the pantry doorjamb. Many of the Fyfe children had stood dutifully against the doorjamb over the years as they were measured, their height, the date, and their initials recorded there in pencil. Karleton’s first measurement, I saw, was dated 1975. He was barely four feet tall. By 1987—his initials and the date in my own handwriting—he was three inches taller than I am.

The shock of discovering that Karleton had perished in the terrorist attack was unlike anything I’ve ever felt. How could this happen? Even my sister and friends, people who’d barely known Karleton, felt the loss profoundly, telling me that it had made personal an otherwise incomprehensible event.

In all the years I knew Karleton, he was unfailingly cheerful and positive in his outlook, and he never seemed to outgrow his rather mischievous and childlike sense of humor. I have no doubt but that he’ll be greatly missed.

Just a day or so before he left us, he and his wife posted new photos of their toddler online. And then he was suddenly gone. I don’t know that I’ll ever come to terms with the senselessness of it.

To the Fyfes, to the Hamiltons, and to all those touched by the loss of Karleton, my sincerest, my most profound condolences. All of us who knew him understand that a generous and loving and very original spirit was taken from us on Tuesday. Speaking for myself, it’s so difficult to grasp, to understand that Karleton is gone. I know that I’ll never forget him. Ever.

“We were two blocks from the collapse, and the dust and debris were flying toward us. I could barely see as I was running, then suddenly a building super was opening a door for us and we dove inside. I don’t know who he was, but he saved us.”

—A FIREFIGHTER FROM BROOKLYN, New York Magazine 9/24/2001

FROM AN AOL POST, 9/23/2001 10:27 PM EDT

SUBJECT: I’VE CHANGED . . . WE ALL CAN DO IT TOGETHER

I propose that each of us commit to doing one random act of kindness each day in honor of someone who died on September 11.

If we all do this, and if we do it for all 7,000 people, that will be almost 18 years of kindness from each one of us. It’s a totally simple way to change the world, and it would give some purpose to the senseless deaths we all witnessed.