28

LOOKING FORWARD

Stuart did something terrible in 1984 and caused untold pain and harm. Raken and her little girl could have lived on and been loved by many people if they’d escaped that night. Binatia would now be in her late twenties. There’s a place in all our hearts reserved for what could have been. In writing our story, I hope I’ve resurrected a little of the life that was taken from them. Perhaps they won’t be forgotten.

Equally, Sarah, Brendan and I escaped violence and probable murder. We could also be in a graveyard somewhere with loved ones mourning our lives had we not escaped.

Stuart also did some good things in his life, and now you know about them. He was once a baby, a little boy playing with his friends, a teenager with a football and a fishing rod, a young medical student trying to stop a war, a caring general practitioner.

This is my story as truthfully and honestly as I can convey it. At the right time, I hope it will be a story for Sarah and Brendan and their children and grandchildren. Otherwise it does become the big, fat, unmentionable elephant in the room.

I started writing to exorcise ghosts and help Brendan and Sarah to understand that part of our lives. In that case, the ‘book’ would never have gone further than the circle of my family and friends. But I also wanted so much to honour the unsung lives of Raken and Binatia. And if just one woman somewhere in the future, anywhere in the world, can be helped by the publishing of this book, can be enlightened enough from my experience to see the signs and drive away, saving her life and the lives of her children, then publishing my story will not have been in vain. Similarly, if judicial officers, legislators, politicians and governments somewhere, sometime in the future, address violence in the way they should, then this story won’t be wasted. And if you can contribute your time or resources to supporting organisations that protect women and children and advocate for their interests, then I thank you with all my heart.

My life started out with music and a song in my heart. I like to think it will continue that way until the end. My childhood was idyllically happy, and my life today is blessed in many ways. There just happened to be some sad songs in between. Sometimes it’s true that a song of love is a sad song.