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Gage came fully awake in the recliner, orienting to the sounds around him. The engine hum told him he was still thousands of feet in the air inside a luxury Gulfstream G2.
He checked his watch—they’d been in the air forty minutes. Moving slowly, he stretched his stiff neck from where he’d leaned his head over to sleep. It always seemed like a good idea to snooze in one of these cushy recliners, but your spine would eventually let you know it was not happy.
Someone had tossed a blanket over him. He slid it down and sat up.
Sabrina had fallen asleep on the sofa with the laptop open.
Rubbing his face to get some circulation going, he stood, took note of the open door to the bedroom in the back and scooped her up.
She muttered something, reminding him of the sleep of death she’d fall into only around him.
That kind of trust, at least, had never been an issue between them.
Moving around in an airplane, even one as comfortable as this one, was never simple. He slipped sideways into the bedroom and placed her on one side of the bed that looked pretty damned inviting.
Once he had her shoes off, he flipped the light switch off. A string of lights around the baseboard offered just the right glow so that he could see his way around ... and see her.
After closing the door and kicking his shoes out of the way, he stretched out on his side next to her and watched as each soft breath lifted her blouse up and down.
How many nights had he spent just staring at her as she slept? She’d once told him she went into deep sleep only when he was close by.
That hadn’t happened in over three years now.
God, he wanted her. Not just the sex, but yeah, okay, he did want that. What man staring at this woman wouldn’t?
He wanted her so much it was painful to be this close and not touch her, but things had been difficult enough before California. He got that she’d been pissed at how hard he’d leaned on Dingo out there, but how else was he to determine that someone close to her hadn’t been setting her up for a bullet?
His greedy conscience latched onto that and rode his neck hard, pointing out that right before he’d caused the rift with her and Dingo, she’d been willing to try to be together again.
She wanted him, them, as much as he did.
It could have happened. Might have if he hadn’t hammered on Dingo so hard. The minute that Aussie bailed out to protect Valene Eklund, Sabrina began withdrawing.
Just like his sister Sarah had.
A suave German had spent seven months getting inside Sarah’s confidence. She’d been an FBI analyst who loved too easily. Gage had warned her he didn’t like the guy. She threw it in his face, saying he didn’t like anyone and that she’d researched the law student.
That had been the first red flag for Gage.
The German’s background had been too clean. Sarah argued that Gage had no reason to criticize who she dated other than Gage’s need to be a control freak.
Gage closed his eyes.
He’d lost Sarah by pushing her when he should have backed off, and then by backing off at the wrong time. She’d trained in kickboxing and handled a gun like a pro.
But she also had a knack for destructive relationships.
Beautiful and sharp, she’d kept her emotions locked down just as tightly as Gage did. A year behind him, she’d watched him work his way up in his former agency, the FBI. She’d been determined to prove her own value, when he already thought she was amazing. She’d been every bit that independent since she’d turned ten years old, which was when their parents were killed in a convenience store robbery.
In the wrong place at the wrong time.
When he buried Sarah, he turned his focus to entering the CIA and once he got in, he waited for his opportunity. Once he’d made field agent, Gage tracked down the German student. Eventually he’d discovered that the bastard was an undercover operative and contract assassin sent to discover what the FBI knew about his client’s US operation after it had suffered busts. Sarah apparently returned home unexpectedly to find her boyfriend hacking her computer.
At that point, the man simply disposed of Sarah as he would any other interference.
It should have felt good to kill him, but it hadn’t.
Sarah was still gone.
Sabrina murmured something and his eyes snapped open. She rolled toward him, still asleep.
He reached out to brush his hand over her hair, but pulled it back.
Sarah had told him all the time that he’d end up alone. That he was too much of a cynic to open his heart to anyone. That he’d never risk caring as deeply as she did.
He’d believed her.
Until Sabrina.
The first time he’d been sent to scope out Sabrina, he’d almost told the agency no. He’d been attracted to her from the get-go and had no room in his life for an agent who distracted him. But he couldn’t do it. She’d come highly recommended and it was clear that she ran a tight team of well-qualified operatives.
So he’d brought her in—only Sabrina at first—to see how she handled herself in the field. Looking back, spending that much time together had been his first mistake.
He’d been so sure he could maintain the icy exterior he was known for.
Eight months later, they’d barely escaped capture at the hands of a black market weapons dealer in Croatia. They’d been forced to spend two days hiding out while waiting on transportation Gage could trust to smuggle them out.
Two days.
In a tiny hotel room.
During the winter when the power failed.
A monk couldn’t have resisted that temptation. He’d known she was not a woman who shared her body easily, which made her all the more desirable.
His gaze swept over her sleeping form, every sweet inch of her.
No longer able to resist the temptation, he stroked his hand over her hair and ran his fingers down to her shoulder, now bare where the shirt had slid off.
Her eyelashes fluttered and slowly opened.
She stared up at him.
He waited, expecting her to snap at him for being here on the bed, touching her. A wise man would pull his hand back and apologize for taking a liberty. He considered it and discarded the idea. A wise man would never have taken a risk that night in Croatia.
If that meant he lost a few IQ points, so be it.
She’d been worth it then and she was worth it now.
“What’s going on, Gage?” Her husky, sleep-thickened voice stirred the beast sleeping in his pants.
“Just lying here admiring the most beautiful woman I’ve ever known.”
Her gaze softened and he held his breath to see if the Sabrina he’d missed would come out to play. He smiled, just enough to let her know he was happy to be right here, right now, next to her.
She smiled back, but it drifted off into a sad smile. “I’m too tired to ...”
“What?”
She moved a hand over her eyes. “I’m too tired to argue.”
He stopped stroking her arm and said, “What’s to argue about? Are you saying you don’t want me in here?”
Dropping her hand away from her face, she kept her eyes on him as she sorted through whatever went on underneath all that sinful, black hair.
He loved everything about her.
Loved?
He shook it off. She was far more than just sex, but he couldn’t offer her all that went along with the word love. He’d never have that life, but it didn’t change how much he wanted to be in her life, and have her in his, in some capacity. She’d said time and again she wasn’t cut out for any kind of normal relationship.
Why couldn’t they have abnormal?
She didn’t want to wait at home for him. So come with me.
She’d been willing to meet him halfway until she’d returned from LA, and now this mess with Josh kept driving her further away.
The only way to defeat an enemy was to face it.
Her fear was his enemy and he would win that battle.
Time slipped out of his hands too fast. He would not have a better chance to take another step with her like this one.
He started with a simple negotiation. “Do you want me to leave? Just say yes or no.” Please say no.
“No.”
His fingers had been sweeping along her arm so he kept it up. He had to be careful, but he wanted more. “Do you want me to stop touching you?”
“No.”
Two for two.
He considered all the things he could ask and chose the simplest. “What do you want?”
She watched him through soft eyes. “I want a life where my choices only affect me, but I didn’t get that one.”
“Let’s narrow it down.” He leaned in closer. “What do you want right this moment?”
Heat smoldered in her gaze. She licked her lips and his cock thumped. Lowering his voice, he urged her, “Say it, Sabrina. Tell me what you want.”
“I can’t do that to you,” she whispered, sounding disappointed.
Oh, please, do it to me. “Why not?”
“It won’t change anything, Gage. When we land in Zürich, I’ll still be the person I was when I climbed on this plane. I can’t ... I won’t make love with you when nothing has changed about our situation. You have a file on me, but you really don’t know me —”
“Yes. I. Do. I know you.”
“Not really. You have no idea how far I’ll go to bring Josh home.”
“And I’ll be right there with you.” He silently finished, making sure you don’t end up dead.
“I’m not going to continue a relationship like before.” She sounded exasperated with him. “The life I’ve chosen shaped me into someone who—”
“Dammit, Sabrina.” He anchored his hand on her shoulder and kissed her, holding on for dear life. When he leaned over the top of her, his tongue delved inside her mouth, doing a tango with hers.
Man, he’d missed this woman. His woman. Something about her brought out his caveman genes.
She put her hand on his chest with a gentle push. “Wait.”
He dropped his forehead to hers. “Why?”
“I care about you, but I don’t think—”
“Stop,” he ordered and lifted his head to look at her.
“Stop what?” Her lips were a rosy pink from his bruising kiss. Her surprised eyes searched his face.
“Stop thinking. Just feel. I don’t give a damn what happens after this airplane lands. I’m with you to the end of this with Rikker and Josh. I’ll worry about tomorrow if we’re both alive to see it, but this is the first time in over three years that I have you alone. So, let go of your discipline for a while and forget about why we can’t be together when we are together right now.”
Longing filled her face and her fingers clutching his arms tightened.
He brushed his hands over her cheeks. “Give me this moment. No, give this to us. We deserve it. Tomorrow will sort itself out.”
“Only a selfish woman would take what you offer now with no promise of continuing.”
“It’s about time you did something for yourself. In fact, I’ll be honest. I’m feeling a bit self-centered, too.” He grinned and kissed her nose, then her cheek, and brushed his lips over hers. “In fact, I’m leaning toward taking advantage of you in more ways than you can imagine.”
He ran his fingers under her shirt and hot damn, she didn’t have a bra on. Even better, her nipples were hard little buds. He scraped his finger across one.
She sucked in a sharp breath. “Gage!”
“Oh, you’re right. I can’t leave the other one wanting.” He kissed her and shifted his body so that he could cup the other breast and massage it gently, moving his fingers until he almost touched her nipple.
She trembled. “Gage!”
He deepened the kiss, toying with her breast. He lifted his palm and moved it over the tip. She shook harder. Her fingers dug into his biceps and he grunted.
She had strong hands.
His cock ached and rubbing against her was the craziest mix of pain and joy. Grabbing the bottom of her shirt, he lifted it, then dropped his mouth to take in her breast and suck on it with pleasure.
Sliding the zipper open on her jeans, he pushed his hand inside, moving the jeans out of the way, finding lace and silk instead.
He kissed his way down to her panties and pushed them out of the way of the one place he called home. With one lick of his tongue, she shuddered.
“Gage?” Her voice had narrowed to a shallow sound. He didn’t care that she could only get out one word as long as it was his name in that pleading voice.
“What, sweetheart?”
“Don’t ... ”
He paused, suffering the battle going on inside him between needing her and doing whatever she said, even if she wanted him to stop. She hadn’t been a tease. He’d pushed this so it was on him, but he would not make it easy for her to turn her back on him this time. He ran his tongue across her folds again and asked, “Don’t what, sweetheart?”
“Oh my—” She panted, chest heaving to draw a breath. “Oh, hell. Don’t stop.”
Two words and his world came into focus.
Instead of saying another word, he put his tongue to better use proving he had no intention of pulling back now. He knew every inch of this body and every hot button pleasure point.
And he planned to find new ones.
He pushed a finger inside while his tongue teased her, pushing her to forget about everything but him. Her legs clamped tight against him and she arched.
Yeah, that. He wanted her to live right now in this moment, to remember how good they were together. How she made his life something worth having, forced him to do whatever it took to make it back to her every time he walked into the mouth of hell to save someone or stop a threat.
He inhaled her sweet smell, watching for the moment the world fell away and she’d soar.
She twisted the sheet in her fists and panted.
Damn, she was driving him crazy. Come on, baby. Let go.
Her body trembled. She cried out and he gave half a thought to the flight attendant, only because of her. That guy should be in the galley area where he’d stay until called upon.
Gage never let up until Sabrina’s legs fell open, muscles spent.
He kissed his way back up to her breasts. Both of them clearly missed him by the way they perked up. Sabrina groaned, “I’m wiped out.”
“You’ve got more to give.”
She lifted her head and eyed him. “Aren’t you going to participate?”
“Soon as I find a condom.”
“We don’t need one.”
That’s right. In their line of work, a woman would never go into the field without being on contraceptives.
Remembering that twisted his insides.
But she was soft and warm and welcoming right now so he shoved that black thought away and leaned down to kiss her. She dropped her head back on the bed, watching him so much like that first time. Her hungry eyes darkened right before he kissed her.
This woman still knocked him on his ass, just as she had in Croatia. One kiss had ignited a desire that he’d never quench any more than a man staked in the desert could ever have enough water.
He enjoyed the feel of need coming from her.
Damn, he’d waited too long to feel her again. To have her back in his arms.
“Why am I the only one half naked?” she asked, eyebrows lifting.
He peeled his shirt off and she reached for his zipper. He pushed his jeans down and out of the way.
When her hand snuck between their bodies and curled around his hard cock, every muscle in his body went taut with trying to hold back. “Oh, baby, give me a minute.”
“Right.” She chuckled. She actually fucking chuckled.
Evil vixen.
She stroked him once and he shuddered this time.
Her voice came to him on a dark whisper. “Ready to feel that inside me?”
Holy hell. Sweat beaded across his forehead. “You have to ask?” He reached up and cupped a breast, terrorizing the hard tip with his thumb.
She cursed, which was funny. She rarely cursed and never that lividly. Then she reached further down and cupped his sack. He stopped all movement and gritted his teeth. It had been ... too damn long.
Even when he had no idea that he’d ever see her again, he’d had no interest in any other woman.
Moving back out of her reach, he pushed into her slick folds and eased inside her.
Home. This was the definition of going home.
She gripped his arms and he kept pushing until he bumped her womb.
Heat and chills raced up his chest from his groin at the incredible feel of her clutching him.
He held himself still until he had a grip on his control. Pulling back slowly, he stopped before pulling out.
She was breathing as if she’d just done a two-mile sprint and looking at him with worry in her eyes. “Gage?”
This was the moment he could get her to agree to anything, but he’d never use that power over her. When she came to him, it would be because she wanted to stay with him as much as he had to be with her.
Anything less would not be enough for either of them.
He pushed in an inch and her nails dug in. Then he lowered his mouth to hers, pausing to say, “You are the most amazing woman I have ever known. I want you. I always want you and I’m not letting go.”
She stared at him, uncertainty in her gaze, but that was okay. He’d seen it before during their early days together. He’d keep at her until she remembered why she’d made the decision to be with him. Why she needed him the way he needed her.
He drove into her hard and kissed her at the same time, burning for her and damned determined to make it impossible for another man to even attempt to fill his shoes.
Time disappeared. He picked up his pace and she met his every stroke. She arched and clutched him to her, then she reached that pinnacle again, calling his name until she was hoarse. Their damp bodies smacked together and the sweet smell of her release circled in the air.
Gage couldn’t hold back any more. Energy coiling inside of him exploded and he let it flow over him until he was light-headed. Hot damn, that was ... incredible.
Better than the first time and that was saying something.
Drained dry, he flopped on his back and brought her with him. Her limp body draped across his chest. How much would he have traded to have her like this in the past three years?
Everything he owned. A limb.
That was not an exaggeration.
Sabrina put her forearms on his chest and lifted up. Her face had the soft afterglow of making love. He didn’t have to ask her if it had been good for her. With a little time and more room to move, he’d like to repeat some of the more creative ideas she’d had in the past.
She was the hottest thing on two legs when she wanted to get rowdy and have crazy sex, but once they were finished she hit a whole different level of desirable.
The kind a man fell in love with and had no qualms about admitting it. Whoa. But what if?
He regretted one thing most about losing his sister. They’d been raised by a stern uncle too old to be saddled with kids, and the word love hadn’t been part of his vocabulary. Sarah accused Gage of being like him.
She’d been right. He’d failed to tell his sister he loved her when he’d had the chance.
But now wasn’t the time to try it out.
“Hello, gorgeous,” he told Sabrina, happier than he’d been in a very long time.
She propped her chin on her stacked hands. “Hey, you bad boy.”
That brought up a chuckle. He’d forgotten how she’d called him that the first time they got naked in Croatia. She’d said he was every mama’s worst nightmare and every young woman’s fantasy.
A bad boy who wanted to be the star of a woman’s dreams.
He’d asked her, “Am I in your dreams?”
She’d smiled back then, sly as a devil cat, then shrugged and said, “In mine, you were more ... imaginative.”
He’d known a challenge when it was thrown at him and by the time he had finished with her she’d recanted her words.
In some ways, nothing had changed.
In other ways, everything had changed since then. He didn’t care. He lived life each day, taking the challenges as they came. This was one he couldn’t afford to lose. His mind might struggle through but his heart wouldn’t survive a defeat.
“I missed you,” he said. With her in his arms, she couldn’t run away.
Turning very still, her face shadowed with disturbing thoughts.
He asked, “What?”
“It was a hard time those two years. Even this past year.”
Did he hear a door opening into her heart? “Agreed. It doesn’t have to be any more.”
She smiled and drew circles on his chest with her finger.
He caught her hand and pulled her finger into his mouth, sucking it. Then he released her hand and pulled her up to where he could tuck her head into the curve of his neck. Running his fingers slowly along the long curve of her back, he stroked slowly as her breathing evened out.
For the first time in many months, his mind wasn’t a scary place to hang out.
She murmured, “I have to ... check on things.”
“We will. Ten minutes. Okay?”
Must have been. He got no reply. As she dropped off to sleep, he pulled the covers over both of them, and wrapped a protective arm across her back. Once this was done, he had to find a happy medium somewhere for this to work.
She didn’t want to continue with their occasional relationship.
To be honest, he’d like more, too, but he wasn’t ready to walk away from the CIA even if he could. It wasn’t as if he could hand in his two-week notice. He’d planned to spend another fifteen years in the field and they needed operatives like him.
The simplest answer to her issue of not wanting to wait at home for him would be for Sabrina to join him again as a partner, but that would mean giving up running her company.
He’d never ask that of her.
There had to be an answer and he’d figure it out once he got her home from this crazy trip.
Gage would give her every conceivable amount of help, from his resources to his expertise, and he’d be there when she reached the conclusion he had. Getting her hands on those three artifacts was unrealistic, which made this mission suicidal.
She would fight him on this, but he had no intention of standing by and allowing her to walk into a death trap alone.
